A/N: After almost two years, I've decided to revive this story because it has awesome potential. This story will mix Tenchi Muyo Ryo-Ohki! and Universe together. This idea came to me while I was watching Jimmy Neutron believe it or not…so that's kinda where the plot comes from. I've never seen a fic on here about sports so it's time for one. Please review and ENJOY!
Disclaimer: I do not own Tenchi Muyo or Tenchi Universe, so please don't sue me!
No Need For Sports!
By: TRIGGER MIKE THE GREAT
Chapter 1: No Need For Invitations!
The Black Maria Star System. A galaxy located on the far east of the universe was home to the planet Kava Kava. It housed the universe's greatest athletes. Every two hundred years the emperor would hold a gauntlet between seven random planets. The rules were simple, you win and your planet avoids being destroyed. You lose and your planet is wiped from existence. Kava Kava has never lost this gauntlet and so far have destroyed at least four galaxies, their next target is the Solar System. The emperor, known as Emperor Tao grinned as he knew exactly who and what was in the Solar System. Tao stood at an amazing seven feet and six inches tall, three hundred and forty six pounds of raw muscle. His royal attire was simply a white muscle tank top shirt and a pair of gray sweatpants.
"Ah, I can sense it…" Tao smirked to his assistant, Kuzo. The man stood at about four feet and nine inches tall with pink bubble gum skin just like the emperor. He wore a top hat and a pinstripe tuxedo.
"Yes sire, there are indeed 4 Jurians on that backwater planet." Kuzo nod his head quickly.
"Good, now I shall have my revenge!"
"Revenge?" Kuzo scratched his head.
"Yea, those damn Jurians use to always beat me in sports back during my glory days."
"Oh, well sire, revenge is definitely in your favor."
"Now, have the servants ship out the invitations to all the planets in the Solar System, especially the one known as Earth!" Tao shouted and scared Kuzo out of his pants, literally.
Meanwhile elsewhere…
It was a beautiful morning at the Masaki residence. However this morning was different, everyone was eating breakfast in peace and tranquility. The cause of this was probably because Sasami didn't cook her traditional breakfast. Instead they resorted to grabbing dry grain cereal from the pantry.
"This is some great cereal!" Mihoshi chirped, as some milk dripped from the corner of her mouth.
"Oh no…how much sugar does this cereal have?" Kiyone inspected the box. She let out a big breath in relief since the cereal was sugar free.
"Yea this beats the hell out of Ayeka's cooking!" Ryoko snickered.
"Now Miss Ryoko, we were all having a good time until you had to become jealous of my cooking." Ayeka picked up her bowl and started to drink the milk out of it.
"Me? Jealous? Don't flatter yourself, Princess." Ryoko pour more cereal into her bowl.
"Now look here, you must still be quite upset with the fact that your food nearly killed Lord Tenchi not too long ago."
"What? You know good and well that assassin who tried to due in Funaho poisoned my food!" Ryoko's eyes became enraged in flames.
"Oh ho ho ho!" Ayeka covered her mouth with the sleeve of her multi-shaded purple kimono and laughed. "I'm pretty sure Lord Tenchi would have became ill from the food alone."
"That's it!" Ryoko stood up from her seat, but was quickly pulled down by Tenchi.
"Girls, let us enjoy this peaceful morning…for once." Tenchi spoke for the first time that
morning.
"Okay but only because I love you so much, Tenchi!" Ryoko and Ayeka sang in stereo.
Suddenly the ground shook making everyone's bowls spilled into their laps. Everyone had a surprised look chiseled onto their faces except for Washu and Mihoshi. The blonde GP's expression made everyone sigh as they watched her cry like a newborn. Meanwhile the minature genius just closed her eyes, lost in deep thought.
"Wow, that must have been an earthquake, right Washu?" Tenchi asked.
"No, that was way too minor to be an earthquake, it's more like something fell from the sky." she stood up and proceeded to head outside.
"Wait Little Washu, I'm coming too!" Tenchi followed.
Several seconds later the whole gang stood outside in front of the newly formed crater. They all looked down into the crater and noticed there was a transmitter capsule stuck into the earth. Washu slid down the crater and typed onto the keyboard provided on the capsule. A beam of light then shot from the top of the capsule and provided a screen shaped like a sphere into the sky. Emperor Tao's calm face appeared on the screen as the recording began:
"If you have received this then you are invited to a true test of athletics. You and seven other planets will be competing to see who is the dominant life form in the universe! The rules are quite simple. You win, you advance up the gauntlet. You lose and you lose it all, including your planet…"
The whole gang excluding Washu let out a gasp.
"The sports will go as followed: tennis, baseball, basketball, 150m dash, boxing, soccer and last but not least volleyball. If you make that far then you'll be facing my team of elite warriors. Train hard, because you will be teleported to the planet of Kava Kava in three days. There is no backing out of this either, you refuse to come and we shall destroy your planet by default. Good luck…you're going to need it." Tao laughed as the recording ended.
Tenchi stared blankly as the screen disappeared.
"Oh no…looks like we have no choice." Tenchi sighed.
"Indeed, Tenchi." Washu looked at the others and frowned. "I've seen this before. It's anything goes, there are no rules. It's practically survival and we've been entered into the fray. We have to play to win and only win. We have to be ruthless!"
"Great! Ruthless is my middle name!" Ryoko smiled.
"Ryoko, this isn't a joking matter! Lord Tenchi's planet is at stake!" Ayeka sulked at the space pirate.
"It's okay Miss Ayeka." Tenchi rested his hand on her shoulder. "We all have amazing talents in certain sports."
"Yea like me and Kiyone are really good at the 150 meter dash!" Mihoshi started running but instantly tripped right into the crater. "Ow…" she moaned as she rubbed her rear end.
Kiyone slapped her forehead. "Well I also happen to be a pretty good boxer too!"
"And I'm great at baseball." Ryoko phased into a baseball uniform and then phased back into her blue and yellow striped dress.
"
See…we are all good at something but we just need to get acquainted with basketball and soccer." Tenchi scratched his neck. No one in the Masaki clan has ever played soccer and they barely even seen basketball played before.
"Isn't soccer the game where you have to throw the ball through a goal shaped like a hoop?" Sasami asked.
"No, that's basketball." Tenchi patted her on the head. "Soccer is the game where you kick the ball into a goal."
"Oh…soccer sounds fun!" Sasami's pink eyes sparked.
"Well I'm glad you guys are amped about this but this is no joke, you lose and this whole planet is dust in three seconds flat." Washu rubbed her chin. "I need to see where you guys are at on your athletic levels. In order for me to do so, I shall created clones and you will verse them in all of the sports."
"Clones?" Ayeka asked with a question mark blinking above her head.
"Yes, clones. Evil clones at that. They will show NO mercy towards you." Washu cackled.
"Interesting, Miss Washu…"
Washu cleared her throat.
"Is their something in your throat?" Ayeka asked with concern.
Washu cleared her throat once again.
"I'll get some water!" Sasami announced.
"No, that's not needed, however Ayeka is going to need some life insurance…" Washu's eyes turned into slits. She then reached into her subspace pocket and pulled out a remote with a big red button on it. Ayeka's face turned pale because she knew what the remote controlled. The tentacles in Washu's lab…
"I meant to say, Little Washu, the greatest genius in the universe!" Ayeka squeaked.
"You are so smart, Washu!" Washu A popped up from the scientist's right shoulder.
"You are the smartest! GO WASHU!" Washu B cheered from the adjacent shoulder.
"You're too kind, Ayeka!" Washu giggled. Her smile then formed back into a frown. "I'm going to need some samples from everyone…" she took out her rubber medical gloves.
How will Tenchi and the gang fend off against their own clones? Find out in the next chapter of No Need For Sports! Chapter 2: No Need For Clones!
A/N: Well how is that so far? I tried to keep everyone in character and I believe I did that quite well…reviews will be greatly appreciated and like always constructive criticism is welcome as well…thanks!
One love,
TM-1
