Random, though not entirely plotless. Enjoy my feeble attempts at curing writer's block.

There were some things Artemis Fowl the Second would never admit to.

No, not the elf kissing thing or past deeds and crimes; his fears. Admitting to them would mean having to face up to them, which was most certainly something he did not want to do. Hence, they're fears.

There was, of course, one person who knew all his fears inside and out. That person was me. Juliet Butler, in case you didn't know who you were talking to.

So let's go into a little describing of dear Arty's fears, shall we?

Alright, let's start with the most common one he has. A fear of death.

Now most, if not all, humans beings fear death, right? Well out young genius is no exception. Of course, he had great reason to. Trolls, murderous pixies, and family enemies. You'd be scared for your life too if you had to live one day always having to look over your shoulder like he does.

The second, not-so-common fear, is one a bit harder to describe. It's a fear of his personal space being violated, for lack of a better phrase. Which is one of the reasons he loves and loathes the mesmer; it can get you into anyone's head, but someone else can get into yours. He'd rather not have his mind cracked open like an eggshell.

The third and final fear that I'm aware of, is acrophobia.

Now acrophobia is a morbid fear of heights. Ah yes, I see that spark in your eye. You know where I'm going with this, don't you?

Have you ever wondered why Arty-Boy hasn't tapped into fairy wings technology? It's because he's afraid of it. The boy is perfectly fine in an airplane or a helicopter, but you put him at the top of the Seattle Space Needle and he'll start to have a mini panic attack, even if it doesn't show. I notice these things. Like how he never goes out on his balcony. It's because he can see where he'll be falling. He can picture it happen. I can too, believe me; I'm just not afraid of it.

Also, when he was younger, his mother took him to a lighthouse. Dom and I went with of course. Me because I'd been bored that day and Dom because, well, he couldn't leave Artemis' side. Now the lighthouse, as far as climbing up the stairs and looking out on the ocean, was over thirty feet up. So we go up. Artemis is hyperventilating by the time we get to the top. He tugged on my sleeve within two minutes (he was four at the time) and asked if I could go back down with him. I agreed.

Looking back I realise that this was probably the first trigger for the fear of heights, going up in that lighthouse I mean. He still hasn't come close to conquering it.

So there you go. All of Arty's fears. Tell anyone, and you'll find yourself with a cap in your head. Get it? Got it? Good.

~Juliet Butler