Note: My friend (Death Wish Girl) and I were playing Assassin's Creed on my iPod touch and there is this one jump that is so fucking impossible we decided to write a short story about it so enjoy!!

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"Yeaaaah Boy finally made it to the bridge I'm almost done my mission uh huh now all I have to do is jump no problem right especially for a perfect Assassin like me" Altair said being too fucking cocky

A bright magical light appeared out of no where and two girls popped out of no where wearing odd clothing. Altair slowly raises one eyebrow

"These girls are so hot they might just turn me straight.........wait I didn't say that" Altair looks up to the sky and yells "DAMN YOU AUTHOR, I........AM.......SPARTA.......I mean not gay, stupid author is fucking me up" Altair said extremely pissed

"IM NOT PISSED" Altair said screaming

"Who the Fuck is he talking to" Death Wish Girl said

WeskerFan came running up to Altair and jumped into his arms and put her arms around Altair's neck

"We belong together" Said WeskerFan as she batted her eyelashes

Death Wish Girl slapped her forehead and hid her face and just shook her head

"Why do I ever bother bringing her here" Death Wish Girl said regretting her decision

"Who are you?" Altair asked the girl that he now had in his arms

"My name Is WeskerFan and I'm absolutely fucking in love with you"

"Ok and umm who are you?" Altair asked the other girl

"I'm the coolest fucking Asian you'll ever meet......not really but I'm normal......until i have sugar...yeah...ok....yupp.....I'll shut up now....yupp" Death Wish Girl said while trying not to laugh

"Her name Is Death Wish Girl" Said WeskerFan with a huge smile on her face

"Ok but can you leave me alone I have to make this jump or you can follow me and bask in my glory" Altair said being cocky again

"OK" Both the girls said

Death Wish Girl and WeskerFan both jumped and made it to the other side

"You're Turn CUTIE" WeskerFan said to Altair

"Yeah your turn Dumbass"Death Wish Girl said to Altair

"Dumbass? What the hell is that.......is it a compliment...yeah that's it, it's a compliment......thank you for the compliment Death Wish Girl."Altair said being a retard

"Compliment I was saying a compliment.......No problem Altair you're the biggest Dumbass in the whole world" Death Wish Girl starts hysterically laughing

Altair gets ready to do the jump he backs up and starts to run than he notices a hay barrel and decides to fucking climb on it.

"What are you doing you moron your suppose to JUMP so JUMP" Death Wish Girl said getting annoyed with the retarded assassin

"AWWWWWW HE'S SOOO CUTE look at him playing on the hay barrel AWWWWW" Said WeskerFan blinded by love.

"No more sugar for you, your cut off from it I should never have given you any sugar to begin with what the hell I was thinking" Death Wish Girl said regretting yet another decision

20 Minutes Later Altair finally makes the jump

"Yay my sweetie made it" WeskerFan said shrieking

"Yay" Death Wish Girl said sarcastically

WeskerFan jumps into Altair's arms again and kisses his cheek

"You're my husband now" said WeskerFan

"Ok" Said Altair as he gave her hug

"I'm all alone now" Death Wish Girl said upset

Than all of a sudden Ezio came flying out of a tree and landed right beside Death Wish Girl. Death Wish Girl shrieks and her jaw drops and she faints, Ezio saves her before she hits the ground.

"Are you fucking kidding me one try and he makes the land but five hundred tries for me I finally make, You Author are not a nice lady your......your just mean......Sunshine lollipops and rainbows......HEY STOP MAKING ME DO WEIRD SHIT, KNOW WHAT YOU WOULD LIKE THAT.....You are the dancing queen young and sweet only 17.......STOP THAT....I only sing when I'm taking a bath not because you....I'm too sexy for my shirt too sexy for my shirt too sexy it hurts..OK KNOW WHAT THIS STORY IS OVER ME AND MY WIFE ARE GOING TO......lollipop, lollipop oh lolli lollipop.....SERIOUSLY THIS IS OVER " Altair quickly runs away with WeskerFan in his arms than all of the sudden he sees an ocean hahahahahah I'm mean.

Death Wish Girl wakes up and pokes Ezio in his face.

"OH MY GOD YOUR REAL" Death Wish Girl shrieks and faints once again and Ezio carries her off into the night somewhere in his assassin house.