Gang Territory
By: Might Be a Giant
Ok, if you like Harry Potter I advise you not to read this (unless you have a very good sense of humor). I realize my first chapter is very short, so sue me. Anyway, it's more of a prologue anyway. Thank you,
Might Be a Giant
Chapter 1: All Because Some Munchies
It all started when one of the junkies from Hufflepuff had puffed a little too much huffle. The junkie, Fred, had stumbled into Gryffindor territory. Usually, the Gryffindorians wouldn't mind a high junkie, but tonight was the night that Gryffindor had their great fire whiskey drinking tourney.
Fred walked into the ceremony and asked for some Chex Mix to ease his insane munchies. A very, very drunk Ron Weasley hobbled over to Fred and puked all over his sweater. From this moment on it was war.
Fully-baked Fred ran back to the Hufflepuff crack house. He walked up to the dealer of the group. The dealer's name was Joe Jack Thomas, but everyone called him J.J. or Joey (if the didn't their tongue would be sitting on the floor in a puddle blood).
"Joey," said the druggie, "one of those damn Gryffindorians puked on my sweater. Can we kick their asses? Please?"
"Those Gryffindorians have been on my nerves for the longest time, and now you, my friend, have given me a perfectly good excuse to start a gang war with them.
Meanwhile:
Harry Potter, completely buzzed, had wandered over to the hangout of the Ravenclaws, the gothic group, and started screaming lyrics of Elvis songs.
After screaming, "Ain't nothin' but a hound dog!" he grabbed a Ravenclaw member and yelled, "YOU ARE A SLIMY LITTLE CREEP! YOU SHOULD GO PUT ON SOME MORE MAKEUP AND THEN CRY TO YOUR MOTHER!"
The Goth, highly offended, slapped Harry across the face.
Harry was pissed. He grabbed the Goth's neck and twisted. Although this took awhile, since Harry was drunk and, well, weak, the Goth's neck finally snapped.
The Ravenclaws stood there stunned. Then one shouted, "War against Gryffindor!"
And that my friends (who are probably all now either angry or very entertained) is how it all started: The War of the Hogwart gangs.
