Disclaimer: I do not own any of the
characters or places in this story. They all belong to Squaresoft. Nothing is
mine; it all belongs to them. How depressing, ne? ^.~
Taunting Dreams, Lonely Heart
I always talked about you,
Zidane.
How you were a special
person to us, because you taught us all how important life is
You taught me that life
doesn't last forever.
That's why we have to help
each other and live life to the fullest
Even if you say goodbye,
you'll always be in our hearts.
So, I know we're not alone
anymore.
Why I was born…
How I wanted to live…
Thanks for giving me the
time to think;
To keep doing what you set
your heart on…
It's a very hard thing to
do.
We were all so courageous.
What to do when I felt
lonely…
That was the only thing you
couldn't teach me.
But we need to figure out
the answers for ourselves…
I'm so happy I met everyone…
I wish we could've gone on
more adventures.
But I guess we all have to
say goodbye someday.
Everyone…
Thank you. Farewell.
My memories will be part of the
sky…
Queen
Garnet Til Alexandros sat upon her throne as she waited for the play being
performed for her to be present by the theater group Tantalus. Genuinely, she
did not want to watch the play despite it was her favorite. It always made her
cry, even though she had seen it innumerable times before.
It
was two years ago on that very day that she met Zidane Tribal—the young man
that not only kidnapped her, but kidnapped her heart as well; but shattered it
by leaving her. He left her because of his own heart, the heart of a thief that
cared more for others than himself. The battle with Kuja had been over and he
could have led a wonderful life. But he went in the revolting Iifa Tree to try
and save Kuja so he could begin a new life. Unfortunately, when he went into
the Iifa Tree, he never came back out. And he promised her he would, too. He
promised he'd come back. But now, two years later, he hadn't. It was time for
Garnet to move on.
"Your
Highness," a proverbial voice interrupted. Renouncing her thoughts, Garnet
looked up. "Would you like anything before the play begins?" Beatrix, Garnet's
general, smiled meekly, hoping the queen would return her smile.
"I
want Zidane, Beatrix!" Garnet cried out. How could she move on? Whenever
someone asked her if she wanted something, she always inwardly thought to
herself that she wanted Zidane. This was the first time she ever expressed her
thoughts out loud, causing her to blush a dark crimson as her eyes watered with
burning tears of loneliness. Garnet quickly apologized to her general. Beatrix
knelt down and gave her queen a hug and then walked away. The Alexandrian
General always inquired Garnet if she would like to talk about it, but this
time, she didn't. She probably just gave up since, whenever she did ask, Garnet
would turn away and tell her that everything was all right.
"I
hate breathing, Zidane. Because every time I do, it proves that I can live
without you," Garnet sobbed to herself just as the commencement of the play
began. Zidane only played a minor role in the play, but still, without him
there acting in it, the play veraciously wasn't as enjoyable to her anymore.
Garnet
stood up and ran back into the castle. She just couldn't take it. She could
feel the eyes of Beatrix and Steiner watching her leave and then proceeding to
follow her, evidently. She ran deep into the castle as fast her legs would
allow her to, crying loudly. She was trying to get far away from the crowds
because she knew there would be a lot of arguing from this point on when she
announced what she wanted to do. It was something she thought about every night
but couldn't get herself to do it. For a queen to abscond her kingdom to go to
a far away place…it just wouldn't be acquiesced.
Garnet
stopped running as she heard the loud clanking of armor, which obviously
belonged to Steiner. She sighed and turned around with a grave expression upon
her face. She reluctantly crossed her arms, wondering how she would explain her
actions. Beatrix was about to condole her once more, walking towards her and
opening her arms. The queen backed away, though, clasping her hands together
and looking at the ground.
"I
want to go and find Zidane at the Iifa Tree," she stated in a solemn voice. "He
promised he would return to me, and he hasn't! It's been two years. If he won't
come to me, then I'll go to him. I know he isn't alive. Please, though, just
let me go and pay my respects. Just let me place something in honor of him at
the Iifa Tree. All he's done for me… I shan't forgive myself if I do not at
least pay my respects."
"Your
Highness," Beatrix began, looking up to Steiner who did not know what to say or
think. But before Beatrix could continue, she was quickly interrupted by
Garnet's sudden act in which she fell to her knees, begging to be taken by
airship to the Iifa Tree, literally crying. She had planned to do that
actually, since she knew just asking wouldn't work. Her two guardians looked at
each other and grimaced at the sight of their queen upon her knees.
"We
shall depart in the morning then," Steiner announced. Garnet looked up at him
quickly, wiping away the tears. He gave her a warm smile. The knight truly knew
how much going would mean to her. After all, the one she wanted to give her
respects to was the one she loved. Steiner glanced shyly at Beatrix at that
thought. He surely would want to pay respects to the one he loved if she ever
were to die.
The
next morning, the incandescent sun shone into Garnet's room, waking her up. The
first thing she caught a glimpse of when she awoke was the dagger she always
kept adjacent to her bed. That dagger was very special to her for various
reasons. That dagger was where her name came from. It also gave her a new
appearance, changing completely from Queen Garnet to Dagger. But what she loved
about it most was whom it belonged to—Zidane. She stood up and reached for it,
raising it above her head as she lay back down in her bed. The sun's light
reflected off of it, making it shimmer. She caressed it and smiled at her
treasure, placing it upon her bed, as she got ready for her departure from
Alexandria.
As
the airship took off, Garnet watched Alexandria go further and further away.
She looked over the balcony of the airship, deferential of the beautiful view
of Gaia's lands and oceans as the wind kissed her cheeks and blew her onyx
tresses. But then a flashback suddenly hit her, causing her to almost faint.
This flashback was of the last time she was on an airship—when she was waving
goodbye to Zidane; leaving him at the Iifa Tree, crying; as she departed from
him and never saw him again. She remembered telling him to promise that he
would come back...something he never did. The tears formed within her eyes as
she felt the flashback through her mind and body. Steiner and Beatrix just regarded
their troubled queen.
Two
weeks passed, and finally the Outer Continent could be seen. The sun was
setting just as Garnet awoke from a nap whilst riding on the airship. She rubbed
her eyes and ran out to the deck to see if they were close to the Iifa Tree;
and they were. That malign thing that took the one person that meant the most
to her was right in front of her. She bit her lip aversely and shivered as the
airship lowered down to land. Taking a deep breath, she walked to her two
protectors to proclaim something they patently would not like. As they stepped
out onto the land, Garnet could feel the awful presence of the tree and she
abhorred it. She started walking towards it cautiously, but Steiner quickly
grabbed her arm, pulling him towards her. The queen broke free of his grasp and
scowled.
"Steiner
and Beatrix, please, let me go to the Iifa Tree alone," she pleaded, hoping
they would not argue. "I promise I will not get too close to it. Just take the
airship to a nearby land away from this one and stay there till nightfall. I
shall be very careful." She smiled submissively, waiting intolerantly for their
responses.
"Your
Highness!" exclaimed Steiner. "We could not allow you to do such a thing! To
leave you here would be like killing you. I will do no such thing, nor will
Beatrix!" he continue to yell. Garnet looked to Beatrix, who held a deprecating
expression as well.
"Fine,"
the young queen answered in an irate voice. She knelt down and took out the
dagger she held underneath her white gown. No one knew she held such a weapon.
It was a weapon she cherished since Zidane gave it to her for protection just
incase he, Steiner or Beatrix weren't there to shield her. She held the dagger
to her neck, right above her Falcon Claw necklace. "I swear that I will do it
unless you leave," Garnet threatened in a grave voice.
"Your
Highness!" they yelled simultaneously. They saw the tears within the
crystalline pools of the Alexandrian Queen and they also saw how much spending
this time alone in Zidane's burial place meant. Beatrix looked over at Steiner,
hoping to make eye contact. They sighed and nodded to each other. The two bowed
their queen a farewell and walked back to the airship. Garnet waved as she
could hear Beatrix screaming to her to be careful. The queen nodded and gave a
reassuring smile, turning to the tree with fortitude in her heart. She closed
her eyes and walked closer to it cautiously; she could feel the eyes of Steiner
and Beatrix upon her even though the airship could not be seen anymore.
Walking
close to the lethal tree, she did not feel a bit scared at all. It was as if
Zidane were there with her, holding her hand. She took a glimpse at her hand
and only wished it were factual. Garnet stared up at the tree and made her way
through a patch of its roots, tripping a bit but catching herself in time
before actually falling. She knelt down beside a small open area, a perfect
place to place some flowers in remembrance of the person that saved Gaia and
her true love. Reaching out to grab one, she realized something.
"I
can't believe this!" she shouted to herself. "I forgot the flowers… How could I
be so stupid?" Garnet berated herself, sighing. Standing up slowly, she was
ready to cry as much as she could. She came all this way and forgot the flowers
and evidently there wouldn't be any in the desolate place she was at. She could
feel the warm tears start to fall from her eyes. She wiped them away and
smiled, crossing her arms as if she made up her mind about something. She took
a few steps back and climbed upon a small boulder. She knew she couldn't give
Zidane anything, but there was something she could sing. He always loved a
certain song she knew of.
Alone
for a while, I've been searching through the dark
For
traces of the love you left inside my lonely heart
To
weave by picking up the pieces that remain
Melodies
of Life – love's lost refrain.
Our
paths they did cross, though I cannot say just why
We
met, we laughed, we held on fast, and then we said goodbye
And
who'll hear the stories never told?
Let
them ring out loud till they unfold
In
my dearest memories
I
see you reaching out to me
Though
you're gone, I still believe that you can call out my name
A voice
from the past, joining yours and mine
Adding
up the layers of harmony
And
so it goes on and on
Melodies
of Life, to the sky beyond the flying birds—forever and beyond.
So
far and away, see the bird as it flies by
Gliding
through the shadows of the clouds up in the sky
I've
laid my memories and dreams upon those wings
Leave
them now and see what tomorrow brings
In
your dearest memories
Do
you remember loving me?
Was
it fate that brought us close and now leaves me behind?
A voice
from the past, joining yours and mine
Adding
up the layers of harmony
And
so it goes on and on
Melodies
of Life, to the sky beyond the flying birds—forever and on.
And
if I should leave this lonely world behind
Your
voice will still remember our melody
Now
I know we'll carry on
Melodies
of Life, come circle round and grow deep in our hearts
For
as long as we remember.
Garnet
Til Alexandros echoed that last word and closed her eyes. Taking a deep breath,
she took the dagger and raised it to her hair. She slid it through one tendril
and seized it tightly. It was time to say goodbye now. She didn't have flowers,
so she thought she would leave a lock of her hair there for him. No, it wasn't
much at all. But then again, it was Zidane. He praised anything that belonged
to Her Highness. She let a small smile form at that thought. She stared at the
hair and then released it within the air, letting the breeze carry it from
there. At that, she could sense that feeling of loneliness within her heart. Singing
that song always made it go away, but this time, that solitude wouldn't go
away. It would stay in her heart forever.
To
have a heart filled with solitude… She contemplated if living like that was
worth it. Maybe she should take her life as well so she could be halcyon with
the one she truly loved. But what kind of a queen would she be? Taking her life
for a thief that had already been gone. Leaving Alexandria with no rulers. How
selfish she would be; taking her life, causing the others that cared for her to
mourn and have pain in their hearts. It was something only an egotistical
person would do.
"To
the world you may be one person, Zidane, but to one person you may be the
world. No. You were the world to that person. I would trade all of my tomorrows
for the day I last saw you just to be with you again. That will never happen,
though, so I guess this goodbye…forever."
Manifestly
renouncing the thought of taking her life for good, she stepped away from the
Iifa Tree and made her way to the small beaches that delimited the outskirts of
the Outer Continent. The sky had been pitch raven now with the omission of the
stars dancing above Gaia's sky. And just as she foresaw, that feeling of
isolation in her heart did not go away. So she knelt down in the sand and
looked up to the twinkling stars, beginning to sing the song she adored so
much. The intensity of the moon made her eyes shimmer and the crystal tears
that fell from those pools of melancholy cascaded down her already-moistened
cheeks as she sang alone.
Alone
for awhile, I've been searching through the dark
For
traces of the love you left inside my lonely heart
To weave by picking up the pieces that remain
Melodies
of Life – love's lost refrain—
And
then she ceased. She widened her eyes and told herself no. She could have sworn
she heard another person singing the last line she had just song. Garnet
ignored that thought and began to sing again, as a shadow came closer and
closer to her. The figure knelt down next to the queen and put his arms below
her breasts as she breathed heavily, myriad thoughts flying through her mind.
But for some reason, she didn't jump away from his grasp he had around her
stomach. She felt secure and safe in those arms of the stranger of the night.
He slowly moved his arms up, wrapping them lightly around her neck, embracing
her as she slowly stood up, hoping—wishing—that when she would turn around, the
person holding her would be none other than…
A
crisp wind blew, causing Garnet to shiver uncontrollably. The warm tears
spilled from her eyes down past her cheeks. She woke up to find herself alone
at the Iifa Tree, mourning for her lost love Zidane. Him wrapping his arms
around her, her jumping into his arms—it was all taking place in her mind. It
was only a dream of Zidane putting his arms around her, a cruel, nettling
dream. It wouldn't be her last, either. From that point on, she always had
those teasing dreams. Taunting dreams and a lonely heart filled her life for
eternity.