A Time and
a Purpose
Part 1: A
Time For Hope
"Hey, Sara!"
Sara stopped walking, surprised, as she heard the all too familiar voice call out to her. Sure enough, turning around, she saw Grissom walking fast down the empty sidewalk to catch up with her.
"Hi Grissom." she said somewhat cautiously, keeping her eyes on him as he closed the distance between them.
"Hi." he said in return "Are you all right?"
Sara closed her eyes for a moment. "Busted" she thought. "Great, this is just what I need." A gentle breeze blew past them, blowing her hair into her face. She brushed it aside impatiently, feeling more and more on edge with each passing second.
"I'm fine." she said, wincing inwardly as it came out a bit more sharply than she had intended.
Looking at her as if he was trying to read her mind Grissom replied "It's just I've been trying to catch up with you ever since you left the lab, but you've been completely oblivious, like you're off in your own world."
"Sounds like someone else I know" Sara thought to herself, rolling her eyes.
Sara decided to get right to the point. Better to just get this over with. "What have you heard?"
Grissom wrinkled his forehead, looking at her intensely before finally saying hesitantly "Nothing..." his voice trailed off as he continued to look at her with that penetrating gaze.
"Oh no, there's absolutely no way he's going to get away with that one. He knows." Someone-- Ecklie, Catherine—even Greg -- must've said something, she reasoned. Why else would he be following her around trying to talk to her. Nope; she didn't know what new tactic he was trying to use this time, but it wasn't going to work.
"Just get to the point, Grissom. I know you know something, so just say it."
"Honestly, I don't know what you're talking about." he paused, "But maybe I should. Anything you need to tell me?"
Inwardly Sara scoffed, nodding her head in comprehension. So that was it. He was playing ignorant, trying to get her to open up and admit it. No way.
"Nice try," she said evenly, "but you're not going to get me with that one. Just say what you came to say."
Grissom stared blankly at her, looking unsure of how to proceed. "Why does he have to be so difficult to read?" Sara thought as she looked intently at him, trying to tell what he was thinking. Maybe he really didn't know anything. But then what was he here for? She'd overreacted on a case again. It wasn't that big of a deal, it was actually a great improvement from past times. But it was still enough that others had noticed. She really needed to get more control over that. She couldn't understand why now all of a sudden she was having such a hard time keeping her emotions and her opinions in check. Bringing her focus back to the present she looked in Grissom's eyes, searching for any indication of what was going through his mind and she again resented the fact that he was so unreadable and such a mystery. But he truly did look uncertain of what she was talking about. She sighed.
"Forget it." she said, softening her voice and shaking her head. "It's just been one of those days. What can I do for you?"
Grissom noticeably relaxed and, with a bit of a smile on his face and slightly shrugging his shoulders, he said simply "Walk with me."
If there had been anything she'd expected him to say, that definitely wasn't it. Why would he ask something like that? What was he thinking? The expression on her face must've clearly reflected her surprise at that statement because he chuckled softly before saying "Does it really come as that much of a shock that I would ask that?"
He began walking and gently touched her arm, indicating that she follow. Involuntarily she inwardly jumped at his touch. Why did she always have to act like this? She always had so much control around anyone else. But when he was around, it was as though she lost all sense of anything else around her; she lost all grip of her emotions.
"I was just thinking," Grissom continued as they walked casually down the street, "that I see you at work everyday, but I never see you out of work. I don't really know much about you outside of the lab." He finished speaking and for a second she thought she heard a bit of nervousness in his voice. She knew he was looking at her, trying to judge her reaction. She tried to look calm, like this was just like any other conversation, but her heart was racing. She didn't know what to think. What was he getting at? She knew what she hoped, but she didn't dare let herself actually think it. There was too much uncertainty, too much disappointment from times past, too much chance of hurt. For all she knew, he was simply looking for someone to help with another of his experiments, or he was just doing what was expected of him as a supervisor. There was no need to look too far in to it...this was Grissom, after all. Yet looking at him she saw nothing but sincerity. Cautiously she decided to go along with it. But she wouldn't get her hopes up.
"I'm not much different at work than I am out of work." she stated simply as she walked alongside of him, her arms folded around her waist.
"I know that." he said quickly, "What I meant is that I know a lot about you from work, but there's a lot more I could know if I spent time with you away from work."
She turned her head to look at him. Where had that come from? This was another of those times where Grissom continued to surprise her. Just when she thought he was completely dense, thinking only of work and bugs, from out of nowhere he would catch her with some random yet insightful thought. She continued to look at him, searching his face for some indication of what he was thinking. He returned her gaze before asking almost timidly, "Is that all right with you?"
She thought for a second, quickly considering the situation, weighing all the possible meanings, then gave him a small smile as she made her decision. "I don't mind. But you know, it can't just be one way. I'll get to know you better, too."
He stood up straighter and smiled easily, "I wouldn't have it any other way."
Sara arrived home several hours later. Her mind was moving a hundred miles an hour trying to process everything that had just happened. It still felt unreal, like a dream.
It hadn't been anything fancy. Mostly it was just like any other time they had spent together at work...except for one major difference. They had talked. Not just work related discussions with a small comment here, a little thought there. But they had actually talked. She'd listened with interest as he spoke openly to her, she'd laughed when he teased, and she too had opened up to him. She'd interacted with him in a way she usually didn't with people. She was a friendly person and got along with people fine, but in any interaction there was always a part of her she kept to herself. She'd learned years ago that it was safer to not trust anyone else fully and so she'd gone about life making sure to keep hidden behind the tall, thick walls she'd built over the years. Yet somehow, before she could realize what was happening, she found herself opening that part of her up to him. For the first time in a long time she felt genuinely happy -- and all because of a few hours of just talking. Talking with someone she cared for very deeply. She was still cautious, still guarded, still uncertain where all this was going. But maybe – just maybe – she would allow herself to hope.
