The Wonders and Horrors of Saiyuki Fanfic

A/N: Yes, I know these are cliches we've all used, but some of them are entirely too fun not to include here. Each scene will be under 200 words. Any Japanese involved is parodiously intended. The word 'parodious' (alternative – parodical) is copyrighted by yours truly. A giftfic (within limits) for anyone who can guess the origin of the first line!

Scene 1: in which there is a quarrel

The man in the white labcoat fled across the desert, and the gunslinger followed.

Er. With company, of course.

'Sanzo, I'm hungry.'

'You just ate, monkey!'

'I know, but this is the opening statement all the fanfiction writers use when they don't have a good starting line. And……I really am hungry.'

Click!

'Now, now. Goku, here's a meatbun. Sanzo, please put your gun away.'

'Heh. Bet the meatbun's put away before the gun, eh, shorty?'

'WHY YOU PERVERTED KAPPA!'

'Hey, wasn't this fic supposed to be in English?'

'It's okay to translate cusswords, one-word phrases and romantic declarations, hentai kappa!'

'Okay, sorry for not knowing, bakazaru!'

'Kappa!'

'Saru!'

'Kappa!'

'Saru!'

'AAAARGH!'

The backseat turned into a melee. Sanzo rubbed wearily at his temples. 'What the devil are they doing? And why are they speaking Japanese in China?'

Hakkai laughed, eyes crinkled shut (which was a fairly dangerous thing to do while driving, but Hakkai was all-powerful after all) 'I think they've discovered some Saiyuki fanfiction. Goku seemes to have been especially influenced by it.'

'There's fanfiction based off…us?'

'Oh yes,' Hakkai said. His smile grew wider. 'I believe some of them pair you off with Gojyo.'

Click.

'Sanzo, please, not while we're driving.'

A/N: well, this is only the beginning. I may take suggestions for future chapters, but I have the base plot planned out, and that will not change. And if you bounce me a bunny, make it small enough to fit into a) the rating and b) the size, all right? And do review.