I ran. That was all I could do. My mind was paralyzed due to the events that just took place, and my legs just reacted. I couldn't bear to be near her any longer.
"I wish I had never loved you!"
A lie I constantly told myself. I knew she wouldn't believe it, yet the words escaped my lips. If I run, I wouldn't have to bear the guilt anymore. It would eventually fade; like all things will. The memories of watching fireworks with her; watching flaring flowers fade into nothing. That was all the proof I needed.
Yet I know that this feeling will keep gnawing at my aching heart.
I don't know why I try not to love her. Rin; the most gorgeous girl I'll ever have the pleasure to meet. My best friend through childhood. I don't know why I try so hard. My heart can't accept that lie. *ring*. My cell phone. I couldn't answer it; I could only keep on running.
Time passed when a bench was before me. I sat down and began to weep silently. Why was I running away? No answer seemed good enough. Yet I still can't bring myself to turn back. I was always too weak. I always hid in the shadow of-
Stop. I can't think about her. It only makes the tears more painful.
*crack*
…fireworks. That was all I could hear. I looked up to the sky to see a lovely array of yellow sparks fly in the air. All my mind could comprehend was how they seemed to form in Rin's image. Harsh, yet delicate.
Yellow was her favorite color.
I looked out my bedroom window to see a display of fireworks. That sight alone was enough to make me cry. He always loved fireworks.
Why was I thinking about Len? "I wish I never loved you!" The last words he said to me before running. He didn't even turn his face towards me while yelling that. I could hear it in his voice though; he was crying. He sounded scared. I don't know what I did to startle him so much. I only wish I could see Len again. I want him back. I want to know why- why he left me.
I want a lot of things. Maybe I'm just greedy.
I had to return home at some point. I stood up, but was quickly pulled back down. Why had I said anything in the first place? I didn't know what to do. Rin had a boyfriend, Hatsune Mikuo. She wanted to talk about him with me. I remember now.
"Len, I need to talk to you."
"Sure Rin. Anything for you" I replied.
"…its about Mikuo." she said smiling.
In a fit of jealousy I spontaneously screamed, "How are you so blind?! Can't you see that I love you? I always have, Rin! But I really wish-"
"Len, please, let me finish!"
"I wish I never loved you!" I cried as I ran out the door.
I'm so stupid. I'm so stupid. I'M SO STUPID!!!
Maybe she was going to say something important. It doesn't matter now. I got up one more time and walked slowly to my home.
I have to find him. What I was going to tell him about Mikuo…
"Rin, face it! You love him!" Mikuo said.
"But Mikuo, I'm in love with you! How could you say that?"
"I see how you look at Len. You two look like a match made in heaven. That's why this can't work out, Rin."
"But why?! What if I-"
"Rin." he said. He pressed his warm lips against mine. "Goodbye." he said without looking back.
I was going to talk to Len. I was going to tell him how I felt. How I'd been lying to myself since day one. I wish I never loved you! a shared lie between the two of us.
I hopped on my bike and pedaled as fast as I could, ignoring the loud cracks and booms of the fireworks.
As I was walking back, I only looked down. I had ruined any chance I ever had with Rin. I seriously screwed up this time. Its my nature, though! How is it my fault I can't say honestly how I feel? Ah, well. At least it feels like only half of my heart is gone; I can try to carry on with the other part.
As I approached my street, I saw a bicycle coming closer. It- could that be? It looked like Rin's bike. And as the figure approached, I saw her. She was as beautiful as ever, even if she looked like she'd been crying.
"Len!" she yelled. She stopped her bike and ran up to me. She buried her face in my chest, and I held her close as she began to cry. "Len, I'm sorry! I should've phrased it differently!"
"Rin," I said. "Its my fault for running. I should have listened to you." She squeezed me in a tight hug.
"Hell yes, you should've." Ah, there was the Rin I knew. "About Mikuo, I realized today…"
"Yes?" I said.
"I- I don't love him." she said. "I couldn't love him when I could only think of you, Len. You are the one I love."
"Rin," I started, staring into her shining eyes. I smiled. "I love you too. I'm glad I loved you from the beginning."
"Len…" she said. She put her arms around my neck and kissed me deeply. I kissed back with an equal amount of passion, as the fireworks continued behind us.
AN: Aww, teh fluff. :3 Kind of a Fire Flower/Tori no Uta fic. I couldn't choose, so I just went with the one with the pretty name. xDDD More oneshots to come! R&R, please!
-Chibi
