A/N: omg what am I doing. I don't even know. I decided to write a series of Hunger Games oneshot parodies. They will all be AU, set in modern day High School. If you think that I should stop, please let me know! But if you do think I should carry on, I'm open to ideas/requests or whatever. Don't take anything from this point onwards seriously.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these awesome characters.

Clove POV

Clove was sitting at the back of the classroom with her best friends Annie Cresta and Katniss Everdeen. Well, best friends wasn't really the term – they were really just annoying people who wouldn't leave her alone, but still. They weren't supposed to be sitting together but their teacher, Mr. Abernathy, had fallen asleep again. Or maybe he'd passed out. Either way, it was a double lesson of freedom. Everyone was sitting with their friends, no one even aware of what work they were supposed to be doing. Clove looked around. There was the popular boys sitting together - Cato, her super hot boyfriend, Marvel, who seemed to think he was a player but she didn't remember ever seeing him with a girl and the legendary Finnick Odair who was the most popular boy in the school and happened to be dating her friend Annie. Oh and Peeta Mellark was sitting with them but he was most definitely not one of the popular boys. He was the biggest wimp she knew and his only hobby was stalking Katniss. In other words, weird. She glanced to her right and saw the other group of girls in the class. There was Glimmer, the biggest slut she'd ever come across, and her posse Madge and some redheaded girl Clove didn't know the name of. Glimmer hated Clove almost as much as Clove hated her back. It was obvious that she was just jealous of Clove's boyfriend. Glimmer had wanted Cato since the first day of school but he didn't go for whores, unfortunately for her. Ha.
Then, right in the corner of the room was Gale Hawthorne, who refused to sit with anyone or speak to anyone unless it was Katniss. No one wanted to sit with him anyway - there was a somewhat depressing atmosphere around him.
"Cato's starring at you again," Katniss told Clove, grinning like a buffoon.
Clove looked over to see Cato smirking at her with a wink.
She stuck her middle finger up at him and turned back to her friends.
"Have you seen Glimmer's skirt today?" Annie asked them, shaking her head. "She may as well be wearing nothing."
"I'm sure she would if she could," Clove frowned as her friends laughed in agreement.
Glimmer's head snapped up to glower at Clove. Oops. Maybe they'd been talking louder than they thought.
"What?" Clove snarled, starring straight back at Glimmer.
Cato noticed and turned in his chair.
"Ladies, is there a problem?" he asked calmly.
"Nothing I can't handle," Clove replied, never taking her eyes off of the blonde bimbo in front of her.
"Cato, honey, why don't you send your girlfriend back to playschool where she belongs?"
Oh, that bitch.
"Hey don't talk about her like that-"
Cato was suddenly being cut off by a booming voice through the speakers in the ceiling.
"Cato to the principals office, that's Cato to the principals office."
He groaned.
"What now?" Cato sighed to himself.
"I'll be waiting right here for you," Glimmer purred.
"Bitch, please." He then turned to Clove and mouthed 'be back soon.'
"Like I care," Clove huffed, watching him walk out the door.
"You should cut him some slack. He'd never dream of doing anything with Glimmer," Katniss insisted.
"Hmm," was all Clove said back. She wasn't so sure.
Suddenly a piece of paper flew on to their table.
Annie unfolded it and started giggling. "It says I love you, from Finnick" she smiled.
"Oh my God, Annie! How could you be so insensitive?!" Katniss cried, slapping the other girl round the face. "Can't you see Clove is worried about Cato leaving her for Glimmer?"

"Gee, thanks," Clove muttered and rolled her eyes.

"Oh right, I'm so sorry, Clove." Annie amended.

"Whatever."

Annie then got up and threw the paper back at the boys table, addressing Finnick.

"Why would you send this to me? Does this really look like a good time? God, you can be so stupid, you know that?"

"Exactly!" Katniss joined in.

"Ugh, will you stop being so loud, some of us are trying to do our online shopping," Glimmer sighed, loud enough for everyone to hear.

"Oh, fuck off," Clove muttered, throwing a chair at her.

Glimmer just glared at her for a second before turning back to her friends to talk some more pointless crap.

"Hey, Katniss," Peeta suddenly called over to them.

"What do you want Mellark?"

"You… you look really pretty today."

Katniss pretended to throw up.

"Ew. Go away."

"Yeah, Peeta, go away," Annie backed her up.

"Do you guys ever stop repeating each other?" Clove asked in exasperation.

She may have hung around with them but they annoyed the hell out of her.

"I wonder why Cato went to the principal's office," Annie wondered out loud, ignoring Clove.

Actually, Clove thought, that's a good question

Cato POV

Cato strolled down the hallway on his way to the principal's office. I wonder what I've done this time. Not that he really cared. As far as he was concerned, school could suck it. All he needed was his hot girlfriend Clove and he was happy. Oh, and his friend Finnick Odair. Man, that guy was beautiful.

Cato knocked on the door of the office and waited to be called in.

"Ah, Cato," he was greeted.

"Principal Snow," he replied, taking a seat at the opposite side of the desk to him. Principal Snow was usually really harsh on all the other kids but had this strange sort of obsession with Cato and never really punished him for anything.

"Is something wrong, sir?"

Principal Snow just nodded, slowly, resting his hand on his beard-covered chin.

"Sadly, yes there is. I was watching you in your lesson just now and I'm afraid to say I saw you having multiple conversations with other students. You know the rule – no talking in lesson."

"Well, Mr. Abernathy had passed out or something, so everyone was talking." He paused and backtracked. "Wait a second, what do you mean, you were watching me in my lesson?"

Principal Snow shrugged as if the answer was obvious.

"I watch you in all your lessons Cato. Why do you think there's only CCTV in some rooms?"

Cato thought this over for a second, the levels of concern in his brain steadily rising.

"So you're saying that you only put CCTV cameras in the classrooms that I have lessons in?"

Snow, stood up and slowly made his way around the desk.

"What can I say, Cato?"

He made it to the other side and sat down on the desk, in front of where Cato was perched in his chair.

"There's something about you. You're different from the others…"

He leant forward slowly with each words so that his face was right in Cato's way.

"Oh, uh, really?" Cato replied, subtly edging out of his chair and trying to turn his head to see whether the door was locked.

"Don't tell me you haven't noticed that I act differently around you."

"Well, I-"

"It's because I can't help myself."

Oh, God.

"I'm not entirely comfortable-"

Without warning, Principle Snow threw himself onto Cato's lap and wrapped his arms around his neck.

"Take me, Cato!" he cried at the top of his lungs.

In that second, the door of the office swung open.

"Yo, President Snow-" It was Clove, who stopped what she was saying abruptly, choking a little.

"Clove, babe, it's not what it looks like-"

"Oh my God!" she screamed. "You're cheating on me with him? With the principal?!"

"No, of course not-"

"What?" Snow exclaimed at Cato's words. "What do you mean no you're not? I thought we had something special!"

"Are you kidding me? Of course we don't – we don't have anything!"

"Then why did you come to my office?"

Snow seemed genuinely upset.

"Because you called me here!" Cato yelled back.

"I don't believe this," Clove spat, running out the room.

"Clove, wait!" Cato called after her. When she didn't respond, he took off running in the direction that she went.

"Cato, what about us?" Snow shouted, on the verge of breaking down.

"We're through!" Cato bellowed over his shoulder, still jogging down the corridor.

Just another normal day at school.

Clove POV

Clove kept running until she reached the classroom that she'd just come from. She stopped in the doorway, catching her breath.

"What's wrong, Clover?" Katniss asked jumping to her feet.

"I caught him making out with Snow! Principal fucking Snow!"

"Oh Lord!" Annie cried.

Glimmer started snorting with laughter which was really just too much for Clove. Clove went over and kicked the girl square in the face, making her scream and flail like the idiot she was.

Suddenly, Cato appeared behind her and attempted to grab her arm but she was much too quick.

"Oh, Finnick, you're looking fiiiine today!" Clove cried, running over to Finnick Odair, grabbing his hair and pulling his lips to hers before he could do anything to stop her. Good. Give Cato a taste of his own medicine.

"Clove!" Cato snarled, charging towards them.

"Finnick!" Annie screamed, ripping him away from Clove's grip. "You bitch!"

Annie slapped Clove around the face with a whole lot of force.

"Don't touch her!" Cato roared, shoving Annie to the ground.

"That's my girlfriend, you dick!" Finnick exclaimed, punching Cato in the face.

"Don't touch my Cato!" Glimmer squealed, jabbing Finnick in the eyes.

Katniss, marched over and yanked on Glimmer's long blonde hair.

"He's not your Cato, he's Clove's!"

"Who gave you permission to touch Glimmer's hair?" Madge hissed, digging her nails into Katniss's back until she collapsed with a scream.

"Katniss!" Peeta screamed, running over as fast as he could to comfort her. Unfortunately, he tripped over a chair leg on the way, skidded across the floor and gave himself a carpet burn. He took one look at his leg and burst into tears.

"Katniss! I'm bleeding!" he bawled, louder than you would have thought possible.

Some lesson this was turning out to be.

Clove walked over to Gale, who was the only one not fighting. He had remained in his seat the whole time, not even acknowledging the others.

"Wanna come back to mine?" she asked.

Gale just looked up at her blankly.

"Is your name Katniss?"

"Uh, no…"

"Then no."

Clove just stared at him.

"Oh."

Well. There went the semi-decent ending to her otherwise terrible day.

She growled and stormed out of the classroom, shouting over her shoulder as she went.

"I'm so through with dating anyone!"

"Me too!" a voice joined in with her out of nowhere.

When she spun around she saw that it was Principle Snow, holding out his hand for her.

"Want to get out of here?"

Clove just looked at him for a moment or two, then back at Cato who was wrestling Marvel to the ground.

"Ah, what the hell."

So they set off together down the hallway and Clove vowed never to take another step into Panem High School again.

Well… until tomorrow.

A/N: Please don't forget to review and let me know whether I should continue to write more of these short stories. Or whether I'm embarrassing myself and should stop. Thanks!