The Grand, Extremely Dull but Incredibly Exciting Life of Marsha Feldman

by Liliththestormgoddess

NOTE: The title I had originally given this story didn't fit, so I had to shorten it :)

Summary: Nurse Feldman is head nurse of the Psychiatric Ward of the VA hospital, but finds herself bored most of the time, until a certain conman comes around…

Disclaimer: I do not own the A-Team, and sadly, I never will. I only own Nurse Feldman ;)

A/N: I found this sitting and collecting dust on my computer. So now it's here :D My own little explanation on some of the behind-the-scene breakouts at the VA. Very light-hearted.

I saw him waltz through the doors long before he reached the desk. He was wearing a simple suit, but the blue in the tie brought out his sharp blue eyes. He carried an attaché case in his hands, and for a moment I vaguely wondered what it contained. Then I quickly shook myself; I had to focus.

He took his time, sauntering right up and dropping his case on the desk. He shot me a dazzling smile, and had I been 20 years younger and standing, I probably would have dropped to the floor in a dead faint. No wonder all the other nurses swooned when they saw him! Hell, he was still attractive to an old woman like me, but that's besides the point.

"Good morning, Nurse…Feldman," he greeted me, with a smile still turned on full. "My name is Dr. John Brown, Clinical Psychologist."

I smiled politely, pushing my glasses back up my nose, from where they'd slipped. "How can I help you, dear?" I may wear glasses but I'm not as blind as a bat, or stupid. Maybe that's why I kept running into this young man…Philips? Or was that last week? Clarkson? Oh, I've lost track. I can't remember today's name. He must think I'm much too old. Well, two can play this game. I'll have some fun with this.

"On behalf of my research facility, we are conducting a survey to do with the thought process of the mentally distressed war veterans." He produced a crisp business card, which I took. It was a nice touch. I slipped it into the drawer with all the others. "And," he continued, "you're patient…Captain H.M. Murdock qualifies for this survey."

"Oh, I see," I said.

"And the forms I have here…" these he pulled out of the attaché case and gave to me. I had to commend him on the forms too. They were all very well done, and looked very legal.

I took my time examining them. I knew they were all fake, but I indulged him. However, they looked real enough to make even a lawyer examine them without an eye-bat, not to mention the younger nurses! I don't think they would understand a word on the page.

I looked up again and smiled at the young man. I was bored as hell today. It had been a slow day at the hospital, and I was feeling mischievous. Back in the day, the head nurses had always been trying to kick my giddiness and roguish attitude out of me – without success. And now I was head nurse of the psychiatric ward. How 'bout that? Unfortunately, I felt like having a bit of fun at the 'doctor's' expense. How hard should I make his job today? How far should I push him?

Why was I being so nonchalant about this many-faced man? Because I'd never seen Mr. Murdock protest at leaving. Never had he been worried or sullen or frightened. In fact, he always seemed happy to leave – even when, 3 weeks ago, it was for a kidney donation. And, he always came back. Perhaps not always in perfect condition, but with a sort of calm and joy, as if he'd spent the last few days enjoying a favourite hobby, and nothing else.

I thumbed through the papers, then put them back down on the desk. "Well, this seems to be in order. Let me check with the staff files…" I turned my chair and rolled to another end of the desk. The doctor followed me.

He was still smiling, but now he was leaning across the desk. "Ah, I have already made previous arrangements with the hospital to check Mr. Murdock out. He has been cleared with the doctor."

"Alright, Dr…"

"Brown. John Brown."

I smiled back up at him. "Lovely, Dr. Brown. We appreciate it when we are told ahead of time about visits or day trips, but, I just need to confirm with the files. Rules and all…"

"Of course."

Oh, Marsha, you awful old bat! I almost giggled to myself. We both knew there would be no record of permission. I wondered how much he was going to sweat over this one, and just what story he'd come up with today.

I stopped my searching and closed the file cabinet. With a frown, I turned back to Dr. Brown. "I'm sorry, Doctor, but I can't seem to find the files you mentioned."

He appeared confused. "Well, that is strange! I made all the arrangements yesterday…" Suddenly he snapped his fingers and smiled again. "Yes! I remember now. It was a young nurse, quite new. Cathy, or Karen, I think…"

"Oh yes, Karen. Yes, I'm afraid Karen is quite new." Smooth doctor. You really do your homework.

"Well, you see, Mr. Murdock's doctor was busy and so she told me she would relay the message." He shrugged. "I guess she simply forgot."

I agreed solemnly. "Yes, Karen still has a few things to learn…I'm sorry about the inconvenience, doctor."

He shook his head, waving dramatically. "Oh, no worries, it's perfectly alright. I'm just glad to know you run a nice, tight ship."

"Well, good-day to you, doctor. I'll take care of the paper work."

Another dazzling smile. "Thank you kindly, Nurse Feldman." And he was gone, heading down the corridor.

I let out a heavy sigh. I was almost sad to see him go.

I looked around my desk, glancing at all the papers and files that had to be filled out, as was the duty of the head nurse. This was definitely no fun. I stared off down the corridor that the man had just walked down.

Once again, I was so dreadfully bored.


I let out a breath I didn't know I'd been holding as I walked down the hall. I loosened my tie and adjusted my jacket, but everything was perfect, I knew. But I have to admit; it had been a trying time today with Nurse Feldman.

I wasn't stupid, and neither was she. I never thought that from the start. I always wondered why she let me through each time, but it was sort of a game we played, for everyone else's benefit: for show. I never fooled her for a moment, but each time, I came up with a new, possibly better scam.

And I enjoyed it. I love a challenge, and the banter she starts helps me improve my other scams, and keeps me on my toes.

I still wasn't really sure just how this game of ours started. I think one day Nurse Feldman must've picked up on it, but instead of turning me in, she decided to watch me jump through hoops, and to have a little fun. Or perhaps it's blackmail. I shrugged.

It was sort of a strange friendship we had – if you could call it that – but that never made it easier. If Hannibal ever found out that I could possibly just waltz right in and ask, well, hey, I have a reputation to uphold. That I can con anyone into letting me have whatever I ask of them. Besides, I would never jeopardize her career, or myself.

Back in the 'Vette with Murdock in the passenger seat, I started back to meet Hannibal. Murdock leaned back in the seat, grinning over at me. "Man, Face, we haven't had to beat it to the van in a while, with alarms blaring, huh? Guess you can still charm the pants off those nurses."

I smiled a little over at my best friend. "Yeah, Murdock. I still got it."