A/N: Wow! Our first collab! So exciting! This first chapter is in my (Rita's) POV. Next chappy will be in Jessica's POV. And so on and so forth. BTW, I'm also on here as "Little Rat." Jessica would be "Red Rose".

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Poke. Poke, poke, poke. If there is one thing math class is good for, and, yes, there very well may be, it is poking people. More so, poking your friends to pass them notes. And that's what I was doing right at the moment. I was poking my friend Jessica with a nice, pointy pencil and keeping an eye on the math teacher.

"Jeeeesssssiiiiieeee…"

Finally my friend turned around, trying to look annoyed, but her hazel eyes gave away a smile.

"What is it now?"

"I fell asleep again…did I miss anything?"

"Not much,,,just some boring crap that will *never* be any use to us later."

"Ah."

I gave our "conversation" a rest, as the teacher was starting to turn our way again. Turning my head from her, I switched my maths textbook with a sketchbook and began yet another drawing of my favorite subject: Legolas, posing au naturel.

I am not a pervert, I am an artist.

Jessica turned around, peeking over the top of my sketchbook and smiling.

"Very, very, very good…" she approved. "Is *all* you ever draw Legolas- related, now?"

"Pretty much, yeah."

We both grinned at each other and resumed our pretenses of doing math. Jessie was writing "I love Ryan" all over her binders (she had 3 down, two to go, so far) and I was doing…um…figure study…in my sketchbook. Yes. Figure study. That is what I shall call it.

At the front of the class, our teacher had stopped walking stiffly around and snapping at the class like she had a broom shoved all the way up her---never mind. I didn't notice, as I was getting very absorbed in my work. Most of the class took her silence as a relief from tortures beyond anything Sauron could think up, but Jessica was frantically trying to warn me as our teacher swooped down on our desks like, um, a hawk with a broom up her bum.

"Rita! Rita! Ri---"

Jessie was cut off by my teacher's angry, shrilling, and over-all annoying as *Hell* voice.

"Miss Stahl! Miss Penny! What is this I see? Using class time to chat? What have I told you about this?"

Jessica was keeping her mouth shut ( a wise decision), and I…well…I was distracted. My drawing was turning out so nice and *lifelike*! I mean, I *had* to admire it. At the cost of my reputation with my math teacher (which was already not a good one.)

"Miss Stahl! What, exactly, are you doing instead of your work?"

"Well, *I* like to call it sketching. That's just me, though, I'm sure there are far many more professional opinions on the subj---hey!!!"

My evil teacher from Hell had just snatched the book out of my hands. I felt a headache coming on. I could see her eyes widen as she took in my beautiful, glorious, quite naked Elfy-boi. Detention time, coming right up.

"Oh my goodness! Miss Stahl! What is this…this…*trash* that you're drawing?

Really! And on class time…you are not supposed to use math class to draw soft- core porn!"

"Eh, that's figure study."

"Detention, immediately! You too, Miss Penny, for talking in class! I warned you girls about this…"

She continued to mutter to herself as she wrote out slips for us to head to the detention hall, and finally waved us out of the class with a flick of the wrist and a bitchy glare.

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Merry and Pippin were idly sprawled out on their bedrolls, watching the rest of the Fellowship stop to break camp on the way to Caradhras. Everything was going fine so far, and it was more like a casual journey to the nearest township, or whatever, than an all-important quest to Mordor to destroy one of the most perilous magical items known or unknown to any of the free peoples of Middle Earth.

"Pippin?"

"What, Merry?"

"I'm bored."

The younger Hobbit thought about this for a minute, before nodding his head in the affirmative. "Me too…I wish something would happen. Want to help me steal that hat o' Gandalf's?"

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"Jessica?"

"Yeah, Rita?"

"I'm bored. This sucks."

"I know. I'm bored too. It *does* suck!"

Yet another inspired, intellectual and deep conversation between Jess and I was taking place in…the Horror of detention hall. If you ask me, that place is worse than Mordor, and people are sent there for the *stupidest* reasons. Such as talking in class.

"I'm gonna get more paper, Jess. Maybe I should actually write the essay we're supposed to do instead of writing fanfics, no?"

" I need more paper, too. Let's go get some."

Walking over to the supply cabinet, we pulled out about 3 packages with about five hundred sheets of lined paper, and turned to go back to the mindless droning of writing an essay on why alleged "soft-core porn" is an unhealthy thing for students to get into, when I turned to grab another pack (I'm an avid writer of fanfics, and I can't always get to a computer)and noticed…a change.

Yeah, you could call it a change. The inside had gone all silvery and swirly, and I could see snatches of other countries (other dimensions? Other *worlds*?) inside of it.

"Hey, Jessi?"

"Yeah?"

I grabbed hold of my friend's hand, and stepped into the portal, or whatever the heck it was.

"Let's go!"

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Pippin and Merry had successfully snatched Gandalf's hat from him, and were running all over the camp and throwing it to various other members of the Fellowship, when the game was cut short in a rather odd way. A REALLY, really STRANGE odd way.

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"Aiya! Itai! That really hurts! I think I broke my butt…" I exclaimed, as I picked myself up, and Jessica did the same thing. We were facing a group of people that we had *definitely* not expected to run into anytime soon.

Four short, furry-footed, curly-haired altogether adorable Hobbits.

One gruff-looking, armor-clad, bearded Dwarf.

A tall, beautiful and calm-looking Elf carrying a bow.

Two Men (of Gondor, if you're particular), one with black, chin-length hair who was handsome and rugged but in need of a bath, and the other with a slightly broader frame, a rakish grin and shoulder-length red hair.

Oh, yes, and a Wizard clad in long gray robes, carrying a really cool oaken staff, and with a beard that rivaled the length of my hair.

The Fellowship of the Ring.

We stood in silence for a moment, before I grabbed hold of Jess and broke the silence by screaming:

"Jessica! Tell me, right now, exactly what it is that I've been smoking!!!"

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A/N: Jessica, *do* you know what I've been smoking? No one does…but I bet you know what happens next! Take 'er away, m' dearest, darling friend!