Disclaimer: I don't own C/H.









"Hobbes, let me up!" Calvin screamed as the tiger peered over the fortress wall. "Let the rope down so I can climb up!"

"Not until you say the password," Hobbes replied stubbornly. "Go on and say it."

Calvin groaned. It was the only way for him to reach the fortress, so he had to partake in this antic of embarrassment.

"(Ahem) Verse one," he started…



"Ode to the tiger…

Tigers are the kings of the wood

If I could (And I know I should)

I'd be a tiger. They're so cool 'n' fierce

With mandibles an' maxillas that pierce

Through anything."



Calvin paused for a moment to catch his breath and continue the verses. Hobbes hummed impatiently, insinuating for Calvin to continue.



"Tigers are king of the jungle

What about lions?

They're so boring

That it keeps me sighin'

What about bears?

But they don't give me the scares

Like tigers do when pouncing on their prey

And scaring them away."



"Go on," Hobbes demanded.

"What?! That's enough verses, you rotten fleabag!" Calvin exclaimed.

"Fine, then I'll just mark myself as Supreme Dictator-for-Life on account of the officer's absence!"

Calvin growled, but went on in moments.



"Tigers are rarely ever maligned

To do so would be so very unkind

Especially 'cause they'd tear you limb from limb

To make sure you wouldn't do it again.

Their looks and style

Can make anyone smile

OR ELSE."

"Okay, Hobbes, let down the ladder now!"

"One more verse!" he complained. Calvin yelled at him again, then started verse four.



"Tigers are incredible

And very ferocious

Don't mock their pride or they could become atrocious."



"There! Happy?" Calvin said. "Now lower the ladder!"

Hobbes let down the rope and Calvin climbed up it after four excruciating verses about tigers