Title: Tethered
Rated: T just to be safe?
Disclaimer: If I owned OUAT, trust me, Hood wouldn't have been killed for nothing.
A/N: I'm just gonna warn everybody right now. It's a bit feelsy, but it restores hope, which, I believe, this fandom desperately needs. Like I said, I'm not giving up on this ship like Adam & co gave up. I will keep writing for OutlawQueen because their story, their uniqueness is beautiful, and we can't let that go to waste. Enjoy!
A/N 2: It's a bit different from my usual storytelling, but I felt it was needed for tone. Also, I took liberties with it, idk where they're going on the show, and my excitement has died (obviously). Un-betaed. Sorry for the mistakes!
Tethered
Hades said this would end him… and yet, it didn't.
It didn't because he still sees her.
Her broken soul.
Shattered existence
Fighting, fighting, and fighting to remain good —what did it ever get her. To not give into the darkness, the grief swallowing her whole.
But it does, partially, the grief eats her alive, eats her soul.
And Robin feels it
Even in this partial death, in the in-between, his soul roaming the earth tethered to hers, he feels it.
At nights it gets worse.
Because he hears her, sees her, broken, yet numb.
Sees her as she wakes, a nightmare, she has numerous per night.
She wakes up alone, doesn't even look at that side of the bed where he used to sleep —he lays there next to her, caresses her; but she doesn't notice, she never does— and Regina simply pulls her knees up to her chest and rests her head atop them.
She doesn't cry, and that's what scares him the most.
Not that he died.
Not that she can revert back to her evil ways.
No
What scares him the most is that by her not crying, Robin knows Regina's convinced herself to just give up, that she deserves it, that,
Stop trying Regina
It's not worth it
You're not worth it
But she is, oh she is.
And every day he wishes he could tell her.
• • •
He sees Hook once; and it's bittersweet.
For Robin is glad his mate's alive, but sad that that same bigger power that brought Hook back, can't bring him back.
Back to his son —ripped away from Regina a mere day after his death. And how much more unkind can life be to her?
Back to his daughter —left at the care of a mother he'll never bring himself to trust.
Back to her —left in the dark lonely abyss she's always known.
But he can't go back to them, can't go back to her nor can he leave her; for Hades erased his existence, but nothing erases a soul.
A fate worse than death indeed; seeing as his soulmate tries, and fails, to move on with her life.
• • •
He's tethered to her, and wherever she goes, he goes.
So he's there when Gold tells her that You'll always be the evil queen, Regina.
He wants to punch the man, murder him on the spot, but alas, he can't, and the thought that he'll never be able to, destroys the last bit of hope he has left.
Regina cries that night, for the first time, in that room in New York City, alone because he can't be there for her.
And he cries with her because nothing about this situation is fair.
• • •
He's tethered to her, so he goes with her to his former apartment in hopes of finding Henry there, and just being there makes him want to puke.
Because whilst he doesn't regret the existence of his beautiful daughter, he does regret the circumstances under which she was conceived.
And just being here serves as a reminder of her, no, their pain.
Him choosing Marian over her.
Him choosing Regina only to leave her behind.
Him convincing himself to move on with Marian because he thought he'd never see Regina again.
Marian being Zelena
Zelena announcing her pregnancy.
Regina finding out.
And it's so unfair, so absolutely unfair that, indirectly, he caused her pain in life, and still manages to do so in death.
But suddenly she's reading the cover of a book, his book and there it is, that beautiful smile he still thinks about every time he closes his eyes. A smile he hasn't seen in days.
And she's smiling, smiling because even though he died, he remains alive through books.
Bittersweet.
Regina reads almost daily, even days after going back to Storybrooke, a heartbroken Henry in tow, she reads of his stories.
Of how the Merry Men came to be. Of his past life as a royal. Of how Little John once decided to sneak into a ball just to steal the food.
And she chuckles, chuckles because she never knew this story, yet she nailed it when she met John the first time.
But then she frowns, closes the book and throws it across the room, suddenly seething.
It's not lost on Robin that she not only lost him, but also his son and the merry men.
• • •
Regina cries herself to sleep that night.
And he's frustrated, tired of roaming this other dimension.
Tired of calling her name and not being heard.
Tired of wanting to wipe those tears away, but being unable to do so.
Of needing to kiss those sweet supple lips.
Of feeling her pain with his whole soul.
Of everything.
And he screams, begs to be brought back to the world of living to anybody that can hear him —but like always, no one answers.
He sobs along with her that night, cuddles close to her and wraps his arms around her, grateful that even though he can't have her, he can at least still feel her warm body.
"I'm sorry this happened to us," Robin whispers in the space between them.
But Regina keeps sobbing, and he keeps caressing her face even though he knows she can't feel him, can't hear him, so of course there's no reply.
Yet, Regina falls asleep rather quickly that night, the tear tracks and crease of her forehead ever present. He tries to rub them off, get her to relax a little, and for some reason she does, cuddles closer to where he is and lets out a sigh that sounds close to his name; the sound enough to break him again.
"I love you," Robin whispers amidst tears.
And he regrets it now, regrets that he was never able to voice it because she needs to know, deserves to know that she is lovable, she is worth it, oh so so worth it.
Yet it isn't lost on him that no matter how much he wants to be with her right now, feel her, love her, kiss her, he doesn't regret it, this sacrifice, will never bring himself to do so because his sacrifice gave her life, an opportunity, another chance.
Life
Life
A life he wants her to live wholeheartedly.
He wants her to love, she deserves to love and be loved, and even if it's not by him, he ceased to exist after all, Robin's intent on making her realize that, even if he has to do it from the other side.
But no longer has the thought crossed his mind, Robin feels lethargic, the warmth of Regina no longer in his arms.
• • •
Earth
Scent of rain
Water running down a river
Pain
Sharp, deep, pulling and pulling. Pressing and pushing, ripping and rebuilding.
Loneliness
Love
Heat
Hope
Warmth
And those words
True love means giving up everything for the person you love
Selflessness
The truest act of love out of all
Your love for her is worth another chance at life for you
Her love for you transcends death
Never ending
Tethered souls
The voice rings through his head, repetitive, forceful, demanding...
Go
Robin stands, on shaky legs, and standing hasn't been this hard in these past few weeks, neither has walking.
But his soul aches for her
Calls out to hers
And he sprints.
Runs
Runs
Runs
Through mud, slippery fallen leaves, rough roots.
He runs to her, to her favorite place, believing, knowing that she's there.
He catches a glimpse of it, a majestic building in the middle of a forest, the door open and he goes inside, follows the sounds of her sobs and for some reason he knows, he knows just exactly what transpired that night.
Because in order for him to come back, their tethered souls had to be separated, ripped apart, if only momentarily.
And that's what happened, that's what he felt, that's what she felt too.
Unbearable pain, unbearable loneliness for a moment, but a loneliness, a pain he'd suffer over and over again if it gives him this opportunity.
He finds her in the corner, knees pulled up to her chest and it's not lost to him the irony of it all, to be reunited in the same place they consummated their love.
Yet for a moment he's afraid to call out to her, afraid that it'll fall on deaf ears like it has these past few weeks.
But hope blossoms
Love too
And lowly, tentatively, Robin calls out to her.
"Regina"
A beat passes
Another one
And this can't be, he cannot have possibly gotten his hopes up for nothing right?
This can't be it.
No
So he calls again, softer, voice breaking; afraid.
"M'lady"
And this time, Regina looks up at the sound of his voice.
