Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Prologue
There are students and parents everywhere, swarming the quad like bees to a hive, it would be suffocating if the day wasn't already so liberating. The crowd is moving as one towards the football field and with every step they take Austin swears he can feel his body vibrating with the excitement of it all.
To his left are his parents, hands clasped together in an effort to stay close and matching smiles of pride stretched across their lips. They've been waiting for this day for eighteen years, their hearts fit to burst with happiness as they acknowledge how far their only son has come in life; the niggling feeling in Austin's stomach tells him they aren't going to be too pleased with him later tonight but there's a much larger part of him that tells him not to care, so he doesn't.
On his right is his best friend, partner and soulmate, Ally Dawson. He's known Ally for as long as he can remember, neighbours since they were five and best friends from the moment she'd snatched his corn-dog from his hand and reprimanded him for eating and playing at the same time, apparently it was a safety hazard. By twelve Austin had known he was going to spend the rest of his life loving Ally and by fifteen she had come to feel the same.
At eighteen they're walking hand in hand towards their high school graduation, otherwise known as the future, but Austin's not scared. He's got his girl at his side and the world at his fingertips, what more could he ask for?
Naturally Ally is terrified, her palms are slick with sweat and she is gnawing nervously on a lock of her thick brown hair. As valedictorian she's expected to give a heart-warming and inspiring speech to students and faculty alike in less than an hour, so Austin supposes she has every right to be anxious but if he's being honest he can't find it in himself to worry. Ally has been an overachiever from the moment she had left the womb, there is no doubt in Austin's mind that she's going to give the best damn speech Marino High has ever seen.
As Austin pushes his way through the hefty number of people that are shuffling towards the graduation ceremony he feels a sharp tug on his arm before turning to find himself face to face with his rather pale looking girlfriend. In a split second he's ushering her back across the parking lot and around the back of the gymnasium, through the always conveniently unlocked fire doors and into the nearest girl's bathroom. It isn't long before Ally is on her knees praying to the porcelain throne and relieving her stomach of its minimal contents.
Sighing, Austin stands behind her, dutifully holding back her hair as she heaves into the ceramic bowl. "I don't get why you're so worked up about this. You've been working on this speech for weeks, even I have it committed to memory at this point!"
Ally wipes her mouth with the back of her hand, mustering up what Austin assumes is supposed to be a disapproving scowl but comes off as more of a weak grimace. "Why don't you just do it then?"
"And deprive the world of your beautiful speech giving voice?" Austin teases, gently thumbing away a stray tear that's drifted down Ally's cheek. "Never. Besides it'd be a bit hypocritical of me to stand in front of the entire student body lecturing them on the merits of further education and always striving to do better when if anything I'm the total opposite."
Ally snorts. "You're not that bad, you got through finals just fine. Besides it's not like you didn't get into college, which if I'm being totally honest really worried me for a while. I can't imagine being all the way in New York without you." She reaches out to give his hand a squeeze, her soft fingers brushing over his own tough, calloused ones.
Austin bites his lip, carefully debating his next few words. His silence must give something away, or maybe Ally just knows him that well that she can tell by the sudden change in his eyes and the hitch in his breath. Ally drops his hand.
"What?" Her words are no longer playful and laced with affection, instead sharp and accusatory. "What? What have you done?"
Austin suddenly regrets not having this conversation sooner but he's always been one to procrastinate, even when it comes to the most important things in his life. "I haven't done anything… yet."
Ally pushes him away, struggling to crawl to her feet because her body is still exhausted from its bout of nervous nausea. Once she's standing at her full height, which really isn't all that much because Austin is still a foot taller than her, Ally fixes him with the kind of glare he usually only ever gets from his mom when he's being a particular brand of nuisance.
"What do you mean 'yet'? I swear to God Austin if you are planning to do anything that could jeopardize our graduation ceremony I will jam my foot so far up your butt it will come out of your mouth!"
Ordinarily Austin might have been sort of turned on by Ally's sudden display of dominance, but right now it hurts because even in her wildest dreams Ally cannot even begin to imagine what he is about to tell her. "No that's nothing to do with me, I mean I heard some guys from the football team had some prank planned for later on but I promise you I am not involved."
"So what is it Austin? You're being cagey, you've been acting off for a couple of weeks and I just thought it was because you were nervous about getting accepted into college but then we got in to NYU so I knew that couldn't be it and – Are you breaking up with me? Is that why you've been so distant lately, do you want to break up with me?!"
Ally's eyes are filling up with tears and her breathing is so shallow Austin is more than a little concerned that she's going to have a panic attack. "Ally, you need to calm down. I'm not breaking up with you, I love you and losing you is the last thing I could ever want, okay?"
It takes several deep breathes and some cold water from the sink to soothe her but eventually Austin convinces Ally to stop panicking. Unfortunately no amount of breathing exercises and running his hands through her hair in the way he knows she likes will get her to drop the subject.
"What are you hiding from me?" Ally sniffs, staring up at her boyfriend with a blotchy face and red rimmed eyes. "I love you, okay? Whatever it is that's been bothering you we can work through together as a team. I don't care if you want to shave off all your hair or if you insist I refer to you as 'the guitarist formerly known as Austin' from now until the day we die, okay? I don't care what it is, but you have to tell me. We're in this together."
Her words feel like knives piercing his skin and he knows that the moment the words leave his lips she's going to start screaming at him again and she'll probably do everything in her power to change his mind and he will because she's Ally and he'd do anything for her but… is it so much to want to do something for him for a change?
"I'm not going to college," Austin breathes, his words fall from his tongue in a hurried mess and his eyes are shut so tight it hurts but he can't open them, can't bear the thought of Ally's heartbroken gaze. Not only is he throwing away his future, or the future promised to him by his parents, various teacher's and the NYU website, but he's effectively shattered the future he and Ally have planned together for the past five years.
He only opens his eyes when the sounds of hysterical laughter meets his ears. Ally is cackling in a manner reminiscent of a hyena, her hands are clutched to her stomach and there are mirth filled tears streaming down her cheeks. Austin can't say this was how he envisioned the conversation going.
When Austin doesn't start laughing along with her Ally rounds on him, all traces of amusement disappearing from her dainty features, her normally warm brown eyes now cold and angry. "Wait, you're serious?"
Austin nods. "As a heart attack. Ally, college has always been your dream, not mine. I only applied because that was what everyone expected of me and I didn't really know what I wanted to do but now I know. I want to be a musician, I want to stand in front of hordes of people and sing the songs we've spent every day writing for the last thirteen years. College isn't going to give me that, but Jimmy Starr can."
"Jimmy Starr?" Ally repeats incredulously, she's begun pacing the back and forth across the tiny bathroom. "Jimmy Starr as in Starr Records Jimmy Starr?" Another nod from Austin. "So he's signed you then? He's seen you performing at Shredder's and he signed you?"
"Not exactly," Austin admits, running his hand through his hair despite knowing his mom will tell him off for it later, it's a nervous habit he'd picked up as a kid and he hasn't got time to worry about ruining a couple of graduation photos right now anyway. "But I know that if I can just play him my demo he will. Plus you know that guy from the dog food commercials, the one that kind of looks like me if you squint a little? Well I met his agent in the food court at the mall and he said he's seen me perform a couple of times and thinks he can really make something out of me, this could be my big break, Ally!"
"Are you even listening to yourself?!" Ally snaps, eyes wide with disbelief at her boyfriend's words. "Seriously? Of all the stupid things… You know this guy is scamming you, right? Let me guess, he thinks he can make something of you but he's gonna need some cash to do that first. Then he'll tell you he's gonna meet you in LA, get everything set up ready and waiting for when you get there so that by next week you'll be the next Justin Bieber! But only after handing over all your savings and arriving in LA essentially penniless you'll find out you've been played and that Mr Whatever-His-Name-Is has run off with all your money. Great idea, Austin, just great!"
"Do you not hear how ridiculous you sound? Jesus, Ally, I knew you watched way too many Lifetime movies but c'mon! That literally sounds like the plot of a bad Cheetah Girls fanfiction. For once in your life try not to be so close-minded and see that this could be a really great opportunity for me!" Austin pleads. He's aware that now Ally has put it like that Mr Onartistcay's intentions do seem a tad suspicious but then again Ally always has been a pessimist. "Besides I'm not talking about doing it alone. I want you to come with me."
Ally's jaw drops with such force that Austin is momentarily surprised when it doesn't drop off. "You want me to throw away college, to throw away my future, on a whim of yours that's probably going to end in us both being broke and homeless three thousand miles away from here? Not a chance! Austin, if you have any sense at all you'll accept your place at NYU and join me there this fall. I don't understand how after all this time, all these years of us planning our future together, how you could want to throw it all away on an idea as stupid as this. Has our entire relationship meant nothing to you? Did all the extra hours your parents put in at work, trying to make the money to send you to college, mean nothing to you? Where is your head right now, Austin?"
He knows her words make sense but they aren't hitting him where they need to be. Ally talks about how she can't understand him and Austin finds he's feeling the same way, he can't understand her either. "You're not my mom, Ally. You don't get to dictate to me what I can and can't do. Mr Onartistcay promised me he could make my dreams come true, and aren't you the one that's always telling me I should follow my dreams or whatever? So that's what I'm doing."
"If I'd have known me saying those things would have led to your brain vanishing from existence then I never would have said them! You're acting like an idiot."
Though they've next to no time before the graduation ceremony starts Ally starts ranting at him about the importance of college and how they can travel to LA together to chase his supposed 'dream' in four years once they've both gotten their degrees. She tells him that if his dream does fall through then at least he'll have a college education to fall back on, that maybe he'll find a different dream to pursue in college and eventually he just tunes her out.
Nearly halfway into Ally's College-Is-The-Meaning-Of-Life speech Austin cuts her off. With his hands placed firmly atop her shoulders, his deep brown eyes locked directly onto her own hazel ones, he says, "I'm going to LA, are you coming with me or not?"
"If you love me you won't be this stupid. If you love me you will not do this to me," Ally replies, voice grave and gaze steely.
Austin sighs, he does love Ally but every mention of college makes his skin crawl and for him that's the deciding factor. "If you love me then you should know that I want this, Ally. That this, music, Los Angeles, stardom, have always been my dream. If you love me you'll let me go."
They stand in a stalemate for an unknown amount of time, it can't be much more than a minute but Austin swears it's an eternity. Finally, Ally backs away. Austin's heart dances with elation in his chest, he's won! They're going to LA, he's going to become the biggest star the world has ever seen and he's going to have his girl right there by his side.
"Then I guess we never loved each other at all," Ally whispers, her soft words bringing Austin's joy to an abrupt end. Her eyes are once again shining with tears and her lip is quivering as she fights the urge to break down right there on the dirty bathroom floor, it wouldn't be the first time today but it would be the first time Austin has been right there sobbing with her.
"What?" Austin sputters out. "No, Ally, we agreed, remember? We do things together, we always have! Ally, I love you, I want to be with you –"
"No you don't, Austin. You've made that pretty clear. Good luck following your 'dreams' and if you're ever in New York don't hesitate to stay the hell away from me," Ally shoves past him on her way towards the door, her shoulder colliding with Austin's arm with a strength he didn't know she possessed.
She's almost out of sight when she halts, hands buried in her satchel, a graduation gift from her mom. "Here, you may as well have this. It's filled with lies anyway, right?" She pulls a battered looking leather-bound book from her bag, tossing it carelessly at Austin's feet, it lands in the same region his heart seems to. In a second she is gone without a single glance back, her head is held high but the heavy sobs shaking her body provide a sharp contrast to the resolute image she is trying to portray.
He stares for some time at the door, waiting, hoping, that this is all just a dream and that Ally will return at any second and forgive him. She doesn't and eventually he has to accept that. Slowly, he bends to collect the book at his feet, a relic of his short lifetime with Ally, overflowing with poetic words they'd written together over the years.
As he stands he comes face to face with his reflection in the bathroom mirror. He is nothing of the boy that had entered. His hair is dishevelled, standing up at all angles as a result of him constantly playing with it throughout Ally's speech, his eyes are red and watery, even his graduation gown has lost its luster.
He tightens his grip on Ally's book, thumbs dragging over the twin felt A's on the cover. The book is filled with songs about following one's dreams, songs written at Ally's ancient keyboard in the middle of the night by two young kids who dared to hope. Those kid's never would have given up on him the way Ally had, they would have encouraged him to go for it, to shoot for the stars before he grows jaded.
Ally's made her decision, and now, he supposes, so has he.
