(A/N: This is a colab fic between me and HeartofDragon! Her chara's Krystal Chesman and mine's Matsushita Sono! This is my first attempt at an FMA fic, but for HoD, it's a different story. She has a lot, but has yet to post any of them. Welp!Tell us whatcha think! READ ON!)


"Brother...are you sure we should do this?"

An eighteen year old Edward Elric turned and shot an exasperated look at his twelve year old brother Alphonse, human again, memories restored, staring up at him with worried blue eyes.

"Yeah, Al. I'm sure." Ed grumbled, "Now for the last time, be quiet! I need to concentrate."

Alphonse twiddled his thumbs nervously as Edward continued the ritual.

Ed reached into his back pocket, removed a small knife and formed a blood circle.

It glowed with a frightening intensity before dissipating to reveal...

"...it...it's-" Al gaped, jaw dropping.

"...another gateway." Ed smirked.

"No way." Al thought wildly, "Is that even possible?"

"Apparently its possible for there to be more than one, we know where the other one went but..." Ed trailed off.

"Brother, I'm scared! What if this gate is worse than the other one?" Al cried, "Maybe we should get rid of it before it-"

He wasn't able to finish the sentence before the gate slammed open with a tremendous bang, pulling the brothers ever closer to its entrance.

"Br-brother!" Al cried loudly as vicious pulling ripped him through the gate.

"AL!" Ed bellowed as he followed shortly after.

The violent torrential pulling was ceaseless as the brother's managed to get a hold of one another, as they expediently shot towards a blinding light.


"So THAT'S what we should have happen!" Matsushita Sono laughed as she typed on the computer.

"Uh-huh!" Krystal Chesman grinned, "Then we'll Roy take Ed's shirt off with his teeth!"

"While Al is watching?" Sono asked, wiggling her eyebrows.

"Ooooo! Yummy." Krystal snickered as the computer screen began to glow brightly.

"Huh? Hey Krispy? What's up with your computer?" Sono asked, narrowing her eyes and standing up slowly.

"Hnuh?" Krystal blinked as the room was washed with light and filled with high pitched masculine screams.

"What the hell!" was all Sono had time to say before narrowly dodging a falling, rather short bishie body plowed into the body next to her: Krystal.

Well…the girl always was the first one out when they played dodgeball.

Sono stared at the tangled pile of bodies on the floor, a wry expression on her face.

"Hey...if you're alive under there, say somthin'" Sono drawled nonchalantly.

"Uhhhhh owwy..." Krystal moaned from beneath the of body.

"I'll take that as a sign that you're still among the living." Sono said dismissively, stepping over the blue haired (dyed) teen.

"You gonna help get this sack o flesh off me?" Krystal asked, a twinge of annoyance in her voice.

"Why would I do that?" Sono asked, blinking down at the girl through glittering hazel green eyes, "I'm gonna make sure our yaoi's still saved."

"Ohhhh yeah, sure.You do the easy job... lazy…" Kyrstal muttered under her breath.

She tossed the dozing bishie off of her and next to another boy laying on the ground not too far away. There was something oddly familiar about the boys when she flipped them over for a good look at their faces and the feeling grew.

"Man! This little guys heavy!" Kyrstal commented before his arm slid off his chest and landed on the wood floors with a loud clang. It certainly didn't seem right and she pulled up the sleeve of the small bishie's arm and froze in shock.

"Whuzzup?" Sono asked absently, back to work on the fic, "Ya see a wasp or sumthin'?"

"His arm..." Krsytal mumbled numbly.

"What about it?" Sono asked, an irritated edge in her voice.

"Its metal..." Kyrstal said in awe, "His arm...is metal..."

A huge grin replaced her shock as she exclaimed, screaming. "ITS ED!"


"Whuuuuuuuuuhtever." Sono drawled out, eyes glued to the computer screenas Krystal's face filled with disbelief.

"But-but-but!" Krystal sputtered, "It's ED! THE ED! MY ED!"

-BMBMBM-

"KEEP IT DOWN IN THERE!" A voice screamed through a wall.

"SHUT YOUR HOLE!" Sono yelled, lobbing a dictionary at the wall.

Now thoroughly irked, Sono turned around in her spinny chair to vent her ire on the source of all the noise as well as the growing migraine.

She grabbed the elder of the pair by the collar and out of Krystal's grip and began throttling him, shrieking:

"HEY YOU INSUFFERABLE ASS! WAKE THE FUCK UP YOU SHRIMP!"

-ping-

"WHO TH' HELL YOU CALLIN' SHORT?" The blonde male screamed back at her, "I'M NOT SHORT! JUST VERTICALLY CHALLENGED!"

"VERTICALLY MY LILLY WHITE ASS, SHORTY MC DWARFMORE!" Sono bellowed, "I'VE KNOWN MIDGETS TALLER THAN YOU, YOU MICROSCOPIC MINI-ME WANNABE!"

"I'M! NOT! SHORT! ...AND WHO THE HELLS MINI-ME?"

"Uhhh, not good, she's gonna get us kicked out... again." Krystal said slapping her hand to her forhead as theyounger boy stirred next to her. "Okay, so the snake in the manager's office was me but..."


"Huh? Where am I..." Al murmured drowsily into the air as he turned to see a girl sitting next to him looking more and more worried.

"Hm? Oh your awake now too?" Krystal asked, a wide grin on her face, "Well Sono's voice is loud enough to wake the dead so I'm not surprised."

"But where are we?" Al asked rubbing his eyes.

"Uhhh, I'm not sure you'll believe me juuuuust yet kiddo." Kyrstal said nervously, "But, I promise I'll tell you after we pry those two apart. Sono bites pretty hard."

At the time, Krsytal rubbed a spot on her arm where a faint, mouth-shaped scar could still be seen..

"SONO GET OFF HIM!" Kyrstal snarled, grabbing Sono around her middle.

Sono wrenched around and got in close to bite her, Krystal narrowed her eyes and growled. "Do it and your muffins will BURN!"

Sono's face twitched slightly as she reluctantly let go of the little bishie and started pouting

"You're no fun." Sono grumbled as she stalked to a corner and sat in the fetal position, sulking.

"Now, you were saying before Sono went ape?" Krystal asked, scratching her head, "Was it something about cake? I like cake. Cake is good. We should get some."

"Um, actually, we were talking about where we are exactly?" Al said tentatively.

A blank expression crossed Kyrstal's face followed quickly by one of recognition.

"Oh!" Kyrstal laughed sheepishly, "Right! Sorry 'bout that! I do that sometimes."

"Doooori-plex." Sono muttered from the corner.

"Right, now, we were discussing where you are." Kyrstal said, "Well to be frank, in our world...you're fake."


Ed's face filled with rage.

"Fake? FAKE? WHADDYA MEAN FAKE?" He screamed, "WHAT TH' HELLS THAT SPOSDA MEAN?"

"Brother, please calm down!" Al begged.

"I'M STANDING RIGHT HERE! HOW CAN I BE FAKE?" Ed shouted.

"Weeelllllll...you're not sposda be here." Krystal said slowly, holding up a DVD and pointing to the cover, "You're sposda be here."

"Whuzzat?" Ed asked, staring at the DVDblankly, not having the slightest clue what it was.

"Um...does it matter?" Krystal asked sheepishly, "All you need to know is, in our world, you're not real. And if anyone else in our world see's you, you'll die a death by fangirl suffocation!"

"...or government officials." Sono muttered, looking around shiftily.

"So we're really not real in your world?" Al asked.

"Nope." Sono replied, a wicked malevolent grin filling her face, "In fact, we're writing a ficcy about you riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight now."

"Ficcy?" Ed ask, perplexed as to what a "ficcy" was.

"It's a yaoi." Sono said in an impossibly creey voice,a malicious grin growing into something one might find on the Cheshire Cat.

"Whats a ... yaoi? "

"You'll see..." Krystal said in a mysterious way that sent a chill up their spines. It didn't take long for the two amazingly strong girls to lash them to chairs and make it impossible for their alchemy to work.

"I'm gonna get my doujinshi collection." Sonosaid, climbing to her feeet with a thoughtful look on her face, "Which one should we start with? The Ed/Roy, Ed/Roy/Al, the Ed/Roy/Armstrong/Al, the Ed/Armstrong /Maes/Roy/Al, orrr-"

"Knock it off and bring'm all! Yeesh!" Krystal cried.

"Okay then" Sono shrugged, giving a rather mockingsalute before sauntering out of the room.

"And don't forget the DVD's!" Krystal shouted after her.

"What's going on brother?" Al whimpered.

"I dunno, but I'm a liiiiittle scared..." Ed said nervously.

"You should be," Sono and Krystal said, eyes glittering with an eeeeeeeeeevil light, "Meh he he."


--8 hours later--

"Al...if you love me...kill me now..." Ed mumbled.

"That's stupid." Al muttered, "Who's gonna kill me if I do?"

"I know." Ed said numbly, "You give me a mortal wound...then I'll still have enough strength left to kill you."

"...that's a great plan, brother." Al said, grinning crazily.

-THWAP-

"Knock it off...wimps." Sono snorted unsympathetically as she chucked a doujinshi at their heads.

"Well was that fun or what boys?" Krystal chirped at the ill looking boys.

"I know I had fun... but I'm verysadistic so..." Sono trailed off.

"Uhhh we're trapped in a house with a sadist and a...I dunno...a masochist."Ed moaned.

"HEY! I'M NO MASOCHIST!" Krystal yelled, offended, "I may get off on pretty boys like you touching each other...but I'm no masochist!"

"…would you listen to yourself?" Ed asked, amazed.

"What?" Krystal shrugged.

"That's still pretty sick, lady..." Al mumbled

"Well too bad. You're stuck with us, so learn to deal." Sono said tactlessly.

"Yeah, and your just gonna hafta live with us yaoi fangirls, unless you wanna take your chances out there." Krystal said snidely.

"You know, with the rabid FMA fans selling your clothing and automail on e-Bay..." Sono smirked before her expression turned furtive, "...and the creepy government officials."

"..wee bit paranoid, isn't she?" Al asked Krystal who looked absently to the boy-turned-suit of armor-turned boy again.

"Hnuh? Sorry wasn't paying attention." Krystal said sheepishly.

"Never mind." Al sighed.


It took awhile for the boys to calm down enough to be totally untied without trying to kill either of the girls. Krystal calmed down a bit herself and took the mature route to help them, as much as she hated being mature.

The boys wandered curiously through their home entering each room, including the bed rooms, they peeked around a bit and were sure they had put the rooms to their right owners.

The room on the right was well lit, some what neat, and colorful, decorated with various nick naks from around the world arranged neatly on shelves. A simple futon lay against the far wall, a desk with art supplies and paper was pushed against the left wall and a few stuffed animals littered the back corner. The curtains were open, allowing light to stream in, making the room that mush brighter and seem that much larger.

"This has to be Krystal's room..." Al thought looking about. He moved to poke his head in the room on the left, which was actually quite different.

Swords and daggers hung on the walls along with paintings of dragons and phoenix's as well as a multitude of other mythic creatures that looked much like chimaeras. Dragon figurines lined the shelves, the curtains were mostly closed and the dresser was covered in books and pieces of paper in somewhat sloppy piles. The bed was ornate, and had big cat prints on it and currently, black pillow cases.

"Kinda scary in here. This has gotta be Sono's room." Ed mumbled to his brother as he came up and looked in the room as well.

The were startled when they heard Krystal's voice behind them. "Whatddre you guys doin' pokin' aroundin my room?"

"Wait…this scary room is yours?" Al asked, startled.

"Yeeeeah and?" Krystal asked slowly.

"Well, I just thought it was Sono's." Ed said, looking slightly disturbed.

"Hm? Oh no. She has to have things where she can find them." Krystal said knowingly, "Real clean y'know? Japanese are like that I suppose. And a lot of it's her mom's influence."

"Her mom?" Al asked, quirking an eyebrow.

"Uhuh!" Krystal grinned, "She spends most all her money on yaoi!"

The boys shuddered

"Yeah, good stuff, and I spend it on swords and stuff to further my collection of dragons." Krystal said fondly, "I make money on the side cause I paint and do other types of art work…aside from manga. That's Sono's thing."

The two stared at her blankly, still absorbing the difference in the way they acted to the way their rooms looked.

"Don't worry boys, I won't hack you in half. Unless…you piss me off, then I can't promise you nuthin'." Sono said softly behind them, making all three jump, trip and fall on their asses.

"Way ta be a major spaz." Sono snorted, a small smirk on her lips as they righted themselves.

"Man this day just keeps getting stranger..." Ed mumbled to his younger brother, who nodded in agreement.

"You think we're strange?" Krystal grinned, "Wait'll you see Jerry Springer!"

"Who?" Al queried, blinking up at the girls as a smile similar to the yaoi incident smile formed. Sono checked the time and hopped the couch to settle in.

"Hey, talk about your good timing." she smirked as the click sound of the tv flickering on was heard, "It started twenty seconds ago."

"Aww…then we missed the theme song!" Krystal pouted, dragging the Elric brothers over and plopping down next to Sono on the couch.


(A/N: Next time: Fun with family members and another FMA cast member drops in! R&R!)