Mari & Ilna—you guys are the best.

Sandy—still crazy after all these years. LOL

REAL Worlders—you make this whole journey worthwhile.

The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness.

Honore de Balzac


A Deep Abyss (1/1)

Steve entered the kitchen, fresh out of the shower after a morning run with Cammie, and found Catherine staring intently at a folder on the island in front of her. "Everything ok?"

"Hmm?" She looked up and upon seeing the concerned look on his face smiled reassuringly. "Everything's fine. I'm just prepping for a morning meeting."

"More budget stuff?" he asked as he poured himself a cup of coffee.

"Actually, no." She closed the folder and pushed a container of freshly sliced fruit towards him. "This is something I hadn't really thought about until it got put on my schedule yesterday."

"Sounds intriguing." He sat his coffee cup down and reached for a piece of pineapple. "What is it?"

"A clemency meeting." She watched his face carefully for any reaction. "A woman convicted of murder in 2002. She filed an application for sentence commutation three years ago but Governor Denning denied it. She's asking Lea to take another look. Considering my background Lea asked me to review the case, meet with the family, then make a recommendation."

"Sounds like a good plan," he nodded. "You'll definitely be able to pick up things in the case file other people might miss."

"Maybe." Catherine took a deep breath. "I just … in all my preparation for this job that's one of the things I never considered. I've spent a lot of time trying to put people behind bars. Dealing with the reverse is going to take some getting used to."

"I can understand that." He popped another piece of pineapple in his mouth. "But if there's one thing I know for sure it's that you'll make the right decision."

She beamed at him. "You sound very confident."

"I am." He took a sip of his coffee. "You are better than anyone I've ever known at assessing things like this. You listen to both your brain and your heart."

"Thank you." She leaned up and kissed his cheek. "That's very sweet."

"And very true." He smiled.

"Of course, if any case Five-0 worked on ever comes up I'll have to recuse myself," she said.

"We'll cross that bridge if we ever come to it."

Catherine's phone dinged with the sound of an incoming email. Her brow furrowed slightly as she tapped the screen. "It's from Dr. Kucher's office." She read the short message and smiled. "The doctor has a conflict and they want to change the sonogram appointment to February 10th. Does that work for you?"

"Are you kidding?" Steve's face lit up. "We're hopefully going to find out whether our little Niblet is a boy or a girl that day. Wild horses couldn't keep me away."


Catherine stood as her assistant Jen ushered two very nervous looking women into her office. She hoped they couldn't tell that she was a little nervous herself. The idea of having to make a recommendation as to whether someone should stay in prison for the rest of their life or be released early was daunting to say the least.

"Thanks for making time to see us this morning," the first woman said. "My name is Lucinda Akanu. Helene Akanu is my daughter." She gestured to the other woman. "This is Alika Hekia."

"It's a pleasure to meet you both," Catherine smiled warmly. "Please have a seat."

As soon as they were settled Lucinda spoke again. "I imagine you're very busy so if it's ok with you I'll get right to the point." She sat ramrod straight as her hands fidgeted nervously in her lap.

"That'll be fine," Catherine said. "I've read the reports from the Attorney General's office, the Director of Public Safety and the Paroling Authority. In addition, the warden at the prison faxed over her own comments and recommendation yesterday afternoon. Everyone seems to agree your daughter has made tremendous progress during her incarceration."

"She has." Both Lucinda and Alika nodded. "We've read the reports as well and we're pleased with what they say but we had that same support three years ago and our petition was denied. In hopes of avoiding a repeat of that we'd really like a chance to tell you the story of the person behind all those glowing comments."

Catherine sat back in her chair. "I'd love to hear it."

The nervous mother smiled gratefully. "Fifteen years ago my daughter, Helene, was sentenced to life in prison with no possibility of parole for killing her husband, Keao. I'm here … we're here ... to plead with you to recommend to Governor Kekoa that her sentence be commuted to time served. This," Lucinda squeezed the hand of the woman sitting silently next to her, "is Keao's mother. She fully supports Helene's release."

Catherine was momentarily startled. The last person she expected to encounter at a meeting like this was the victim's mother. She couldn't help but notice, however, the way the two women interacted, each offering the other silent support.

"Please," she looked to Helene's mother first, "tell me your daughter's story."

Lucinda took a deep breath and cleared her throat. "Helene is my oldest child. I have three others. Two boys and a girl. My husband was an abusive alcoholic who used to beat me regularly. I know I should have left him but I had four young children, no family to speak of and an eighth-grade education. At least he paid the bills. So, I stayed."

Catherine winced at the matter of fact way Lucinda recounted the details of her life. No woman should ever feel compelled to stay in a violent, abusive relationship because of a lack of options. It was one of the issues she and Lea were passionate about addressing.

The woman's eyes darkened. "Until one day I came home from grocery shopping and Helene had a black eye and split lip. I knew right away what had happened. She was ten years old. I kicked him out that night. It was one thing for him to beat on me but as soon as he touched one of my kids … " Her voice trailed off.

"It sounds like an awful situation," Catherine said softly.

Lucinda nodded. "It was. I'm not making excuses for Helene but when a girl grows up watching her father beat her mother it gives her the wrong idea about relationships."

Catherine nodded. "I agree."

Joseph had always been a superb example of what a husband and father should be and she had no doubt Steve would be the same for their child.

She knew, however, that not all women were so lucky.

"Unfortunately, when I threw my husband out he took that to mean he no longer had any responsibility to me or the kids and he disappeared," Lucinda growled. "I had to work two jobs just to keep a roof over our heads and that meant Helene practically raised the little ones. She cooked their meals, helped them with their homework and most nights tucked them into bed. She never got time to just be a kid. When she was fifteen I met my second husband, Frank. He was a good provider so I was able to quit my job and stay home. I thought Helene would be glad to have a chance to finally be a normal teenager but she started acting out almost right away. Staying out late. Skipping school. Experimenting with drugs. We were at the end of our rope but then she met Keao and started dating him and we hoped that might help things settle down."

Catherine couldn't help but feel for the young girl who was clearly flailing. She thought back to herself at that age, already focused on making it to the naval academy. The circumstances of Helene's life hadn't allowed her the opportunity to find her own passion and set her own goals

"Keao was my only child." Alika picked up the story. "His father was an older boy I met a fraternity party who was long gone by the time I found out I was pregnant. Luckily with a little help from my parents I was able to finish college. We moved in with them while I started working on my career. When Keao was five they were killed in a car accident."

"I'm so sorry," Catherine said sincerely.

"Thank you." Alika crossed her legs and continued. "It was right around that time Keao started acting out. He'd get angry over almost nothing, throw tantrums, try to hurt himself and sometimes me. I took him to a doctor but in those days they wrote that kind of behavior off to poor parenting. They told me to discipline him more. I tried but the older he got the tougher he got for me to control. When he was twelve he stole a neighbor's car. When he was fourteen he broke another boy's nose. Every time I asked for help, from his doctor, his teachers, the principal, they all looked at me like it was my fault. Like if I was a better mother this wouldn't be happening."

Catherine frowned. It seemed like Alika had done everything right and been failed at every turn by the people who should have been able to point her in the right direction.

"When Helene was a junior in high school she got pregnant," Lucinda sighed. "She was headstrong and determined to create the happy family she hadn't had as a child so she and Keao decided to marry. We really wanted her to finish school. We even offered to help with whatever she needed but her mind was made up. She dropped out after the baby came. Keao graduated and went straight to work to support her and the baby."

"I'd always dreamed he'd go to college but he was adamant he needed to be a provider for his family," Alika explained. "So he got a job on the docks and they got a little apartment in town and started building a life."

Lucinda reached over and took Alika's hand. "After a couple of year's Helene got pregnant again. They were having trouble keeping the bills paid and buying everything the kids needed so she took a job dancing at night. I begged her to quit but she said it was easy money. She claimed Keao was okay with it but then one day she came to me and admitted they were having problems. He was getting angry over little things; lashing out. He'd always had a temper but it was getting worse. When she tried to talk to him about it he would shut down. Then he started drinking more. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't all bad. There were times they were happy and things were going well but it never lasted long before the dark times would come back."

"I tried talking to him about it." Alika said. "I asked him to see a therapist but he told me he was just under a lot of pressure with another mouth to feed and everything would be fine. A couple of months later they bought a new car and some new furniture and Keao said he'd gotten a raise and Helene wasn't dancing anymore and everything was working out. What we didn't know at the time was that he'd gotten involved in some scheme with a few of the guys from work to sell stolen goods."

"One night Frank and I got a call from Helene that the police were at the house about to arrest both her and Keao for receiving stolen property and she needed us to come over and pick up the kids." Lucinda reached in her bag for a tissue. "Apparently one of the other guys tried to sell some of the stolen merchandise to an undercover cop and got busted. He sold out Keao and Helene to save his own neck. Keao served six months. They let Helene off with probation because of the kids. While he was in jail she went back to dancing and had a few minor scrapes with customers."

Catherine appreciated the fact that Lucinda wasn't trying to whitewash her daughter's past.

"When Keao got out he had trouble finding another job," Alika admitted. "He picked up work here and there but it was barely enough to keep food on the table. They separated but then Helene found out she was pregnant with their third child. She told Keao that they needed to make some changes if they were going to keep their family together. They started to see a counselor who recommended Keao check himself into a mental health facility for a full evaluation. Two weeks later when his insurance ran out they released him with medication. It seemed to be helping so they got back together."

"When Keao took his meds things were good." Lucinda smiled at the happy memories. "But then he'd quit taking them, claiming they made him sick and foggy and things would get bad. Their lives started to spiral out of control. The police were called to the house regularly. Sometimes she was injured and sometimes he was. Finally they split again and Helene applied for a restraining order. Keao violated it three times. Twice she had visible injuries. Still each time he was given a slap on the wrist."

Lucinda steeled herself to tell the rest of the story.

"One night at around 3:00 A.M. he went to the house and started banging on the door. When Helene wouldn't open it he forced his way in. He didn't know she'd bought a gun the previous week for protection from one of her customers who followed her home from the club. Her story was that he lunged at her and she shot him then grabbed the kids and ran to a neighbor's house to call the police."

"What a tragic situation." Catherine shook her head. "But clearly the police didn't accept her explanation of self-defense or she wouldn't have been arrested."

"She told them she shot him once but when they looked at the body there were four gunshot wounds" Lucinda dabbed her eyes. "They said after he was already on the ground she stood over him and fired three more times."

Alika blanched. No matter how many times she heard the story it was like an arrow through her heart every time.

"They also checked phone records and saw a two-minute call from Helene to Keao earlier that evening." Lucinda pressed on with the story. "Helene said they were arranging a time for him to visit the kids but the prosecutors insisted she was luring him over to the house so she could kill him. Her attorney tried his best but by the time the prosecutor was done she looked like a cold-blooded killer. It only took the jury an hour to find her guilty."

"I remember when the verdict was read," Alika said sadly, "I looked across at Lucinda and knew there were no winners in this situation. My son was still dead and she'd lost her daughter to prison for the rest of her life. Worst of all our grandchildren had lost both parents."

"After the dust settled a little Alika called and asked me to meet her for lunch." The two women smiled at each other. "We agreed that we'd both made mistakes as parents, and that the system had failed both our children at various points, but all that was in the past and we couldn't change it. We made a commitment going forward to put the grandchildren first and for the last fifteen years we have. We were bound and determined the cycle of violence and abuse would stop with them."

"You should both be commended for that," Catherine said sincerely.

"When my oldest granddaughter was in high school she was part of a peer counseling project. In fact, Lea Kekoa championed the project when she was a state representative," Alika pointed out. "One day a male classmate confided in her that he was hearing voices. She immediately told the teacher who went to the boy's parents and they were able to get him the treatment he needed. In May he'll graduate from the University of Hawaii, in the same class as our granddaughter, with Honors."

"Good for her," Catherine smiled. "You must both be very proud."

"We are," Alika responded. "In fact, our granddaughter wants to go on and get her master's degree in psychiatric social work and she points to her experiences with her father, and with that young man, as factors that led her to that decision. She said that when the young man told her about the voices the look on his face sparked a memory of her father. He looked scared and she remembered that's the same way her daddy used to look sometimes. She said she still sees that look when she dreams about him."

Alika's eyes dampened. "It's time for all this to end. We can't change the past but we can change the future."

"Since Helene's been in prison she completed her GED and got her bachelor's degree," Lucinda said proudly. "She attends regular counseling sessions, holds a job, and has had no disciplinary issues. Two years ago she was selected to serve as a mentor to help younger inmates make productive use of their time behind bars. She submitted the required letter with her commutation request taking responsibility for her crimes and laying out an action plan for what she will do if she gets released."

"I read it," Catherine nodded. "It's very impressive."

There was a tap on the door and Jen peeked her head in. "The governor needs you in her office right away."

"Tell her I'll be right there," Catherine said.

"We appreciate you listening," Lucinda smiled sincerely as all three women stood. She glanced at her watch. "I know we went over the allotted time."

It's fine," Catherine waved her off.

"I'll be waiting to hear from you whatever the governor decides," Lucinda said.

"You'll hear from me soon," Catherine promised.

They said their goodbyes and the women headed down the hall. As Catherine made her way to Lea's office she pulled out her phone and typed a quick message.

'Free for lunch? I really want to see you and Niblet and I are starved.'

She smiled when Steve's response came back almost immediately.

'Just say when and where.'

"You look happy," Lea's assistant said as she gestured for Catherine to go ahead into Lea's office.

"What's not to be happy about," Catherine grinned. "I'm an incredibly lucky woman."

THE END


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