AN: Good Morning, Evening, Afternoon, or night to every lovely person who has taken time to even click on this. I've been writing this story for a few weeks, unsure about posting it but here it is. I have 10K+ written already but here's the first 3K or so words.
if anyone likes this ill keep posting. I love hearing what people think, the good and the bad, the only way i can get better is by hearing what i'm doing wrong.
The rookie blue cast is not owned by myself, if it was the officer lunchbox story would have been a lot different in season 5.
Here goes nothing...
A lot can change in two years, people change, jobs change, family grow and shrink, you age, you learn, and you grow. When asked how much two years can change how much they loved each other Gail and Holly would share a simple smile and tell you they loved each other more than any two people should be allowed. They had grown separately in two years, they had no choice they were 2000 miles apart on different sides of the same continent.
They had also grown together in that time, learning more about each other through late night phone calls, endless text message conversations, and visits when time would allow for it. Gail had grown up, she had officially adopted Sophie almost a year ago. She wasn't ashamed to admit that her parents had pulled in every favor they had, making sure Gail had every reference she needed to make everything final. She also knew that those flavors would end in family dinners, updates on how Sophie was doing in school, in therapy, Gail would have to apply for the next detectives rotations, and do so seriously (which she was granted the promotion before her mother even knew about her application).
A yearlong battle with lawyers, shrinks, and meeting with social workers had been more than worth it the first week Sophie had been home with her. Holly had flown back to Toronto to be there for the official welcome Sophie home party, she had been there when Sophie asked Gail and Elaine to take the Peck last name. That was the first time Holly had seen Gail cry tears of joy, Holly's heart swelled with love with both of them in that moment.
It had taken two years for Holly to finish out her contract in San Francisco, to finish her interview process in Toronto to be the Chief ME. Gail and Holly spent almost a year trying to figure out how things would change when Holly was back in Toronto for good, should Holly get her own place for a year so she could reconnect with Gail and get to know Sophie better.
Gail had admitted to Holly later that she had talked to Sophie about these options as well and Sophie had laughed, telling Gail that Holly should live with them because she know how much they loved each other. Gail was amazed at how big her young girl's heart was, and how easily she could love and forgive the world after what she had been through. Gail and Sophie met Holly at the airport one last time, happy when Holly only had a carry on with her because all of her things were being delivered to the house later, Holly was finally home.
Gail woke up alone in their bed, it was Saturday morning and neither of them had to work. Confused as to why her bed was empty Gail made her way down the hall, peeking into Sophie's room smiling at how her daughter was sleeping starfishes across her bed. Gail closed her door and walked downstairs, seeing Holly lying on the couch reading what looked like a medical textbook.
Gail was partially hidden in the dark of the kitchen, unabashedly watching Holly, the way her hair was fanned across the armrest, the way her tank top had ridden up past her waist. Gail poured a cup of coffee from the still steaming pot and leaned against the door frame in the living room. Holly was lost in her book, which was normal for a Saturday morning, Gail could be walking around the house naked and Holly would not even notice if she was reading, this theory had been tested a few times when Gail was in San Francisco.
This was one of Gail's favorite sites, seeing Holly comfortable, and oblivious to her surroundings so lost in her own thoughts. Gail could watch her this way without being caught, Gail would never tell anyone that she loved to just sit and watch Holly. Gail sipped her coffee, watched Holly's chest rise and fall with her steady breathing and how her jaw would clench and relax as she read. Gail smiled to herself satisfied that she had taken in the entire morning before she finished her coffee and quickly padded her way to Holly. Gail kicked out of her slippers before crawling to fit into the space between Holly and the back of the couch.
"Mmhhm" Holly smiled, putting her book down and hugged Gail. "Morning" Gail breathed against Holly's neck snuggling closer to her. "Good morning" Holly smiled, kissing Gail's forehead. "Why are you awake so early?" Holly asked, sinking lower on the couch and so she could properly cuddle with Gail. "My source of warmth in the arctic you call our bedroom was gone." Gail laughed running her fingers along Holly's abs. "You are always freezing babe, its normal person's temperature in that room." Holly laughed gently capturing Gail's lips in her own. "Whatever, I was cold" Gail laughed, kissing Holly again running her hand along Holly's hip.
"What time is it?" Holly asked, lacing her fingers with Gail's, trying to stop her hand from traveling lower. "5:30" Gail shrugged laying her head on Holly's shoulder. "You know the house is sound proof right, you don't have to put the brakes on me every time," Gail pouted trying to sit up. She was frustrated by the total lack of intimacy since Holly had been home. "Gail you're a mom" Holly sighed, looking at Gail; she was still trying to adjust to living in a house with a kid.
"A kid who can sleep threw an earthquake Holly, or did you forget about our visit to see you in San Francisco." Gail asked running her fingers threw her shoulder length hair. "I need to get ready for shift" Gail got off the couch and walked up stairs flustered. It was an adjustment for all of them, Sophie loved Holly and was happy to have her living with them, but she wasn't sure if she had to listen to Holly when she did something wrong. Holly wasn't sure if she was allowed to enforce the rules.
"Gail" Holly walked into their bedroom and saw Gail, lying back on the bed. "What?" she barked covering her face, it hurt Holly to see Gail this way "Gail" Holly sighed, closing the door, afraid this was going to turn into a fight. Holly stood in front of her waiting for Gail to look at her or even acknowledge her presence. "If you didn't want to be here Holly, you didn't have to agree to move in." Gail huffed chewing on her lip this had been the theme of their disagreements so far. "Is that what you think this is?" Holly s looked down at her girlfriend that was obviously upset. "It's been a month Holly, you have been back a month and you're afraid to touch me, or let me touch you. Do you not want to do this, is that what this is, a place to stay until you figure out what you want?" Gail was on the verge of tears, Holly could see the tears pooling in Gail's eyes, as well as the distinctive sound in Gail's voice.
"You don't work today, are you really going to the station?" Holly asked chewing on her lip trying to get to the source of what all of this was. "Yup, avoid the question great" Gail got up and stormed into the in suite bathroom slamming the door behind her. Holly picked up her phone and hit speed dial number 3, Waiting for someone to pick up. "Holly, is everything ok?" Tracie answered on the second ring. "I need you to do me a favor, can you come pick up Sophie for the day?" Holly sighed into the phone, forgetting her need for pleasantries. She may have been overstepping but she needed to talk to Gail, and she didn't want it to be a fight, but she didn't want Sophie to be there if it happened.
"Yeah, we are taking Leo to the zoo so she is more than welcome to join us, I can pick her up in 20 minutes." Tracie sensed something was up because holly rarely called for a favor. "Thank you so much, I'll get her up." Holly walked out of their bedroom once she heard the shower start. She knew she had at least 30 minutes before Gail came back into their bedroom.
"Hey soph, it's time to get up." Holly stroked the girls' hair and Sophie squinted at her. "Why?" Sophie sat up and stretched, Holly loved how easy it was to wake her up. "Because Aunt Tracie is going to come over and pick you up, and you're going to the zoo!" Holly smiled and Sophie seemed to perk up. "Really!" Sophie smiled and Holly nodded. "Awesome, are you and mom going too?" Sophie asked, throwing off her covers and digging through her closet to pick out something to wear. "No, we have to go into work for a while" Holly frowned and watched as Sophie ran into the bathroom to brush her teeth and fix her hair. "She's going to be here soon so hurry up kid!" Holly called running downstairs to make her a quick breakfast.
It wasn't long before Tracie knocked on the door. "Hey, thank you so much Trac, I owe you major" Holly sighed, looking back as Sophie finished her eggs and toast. "Is everything ok?" Tracie asked, looking at Holly then at Sophie. "Honestly?" Holly asked and pulled Tracie into the living room. "I think Gail and I are about to have a huge fight and I don't want her here for that." Holly sighed leaning against the wall completely unsure of what to do. "What's going on?" Tracie asked, concerned, she had been there for Gail the whole time Holly was away, she knew better than anyone how much Holly meant to Gail. "she has been pushing for it all morning, she woke up early and it started almost right away trace, we are still adjusting to seeing each other every day and she kept trying to start this fight this morning" Holly was on the verge of tears. "Ok, well how about this, why don't I take Sophie for the weekend, you know her and Leo gets along great." Tracie smiled trying to be as helpful as possible.
"That would be amazing, but I don't think I have the right to say yes to that" Holly sighed and heard the shower shut off. "You should get going, this may not be pretty" Holly chewed on her lip and Tracie nodded. "Alright girly, you ready to go to the zoo!" Holly asked, walking into the kitchen and Sophie grinned. "YES!" she jumped and ran to the door with Tracie. "Ok, call me if you need anything please?" Holly asked and handed Tracie 100 bucks. "For whatever she wants at the zoo, and lunch, and whatever else. I owe you so much Tracie." Holly smiled and Tracie laughed. "Let's go kid," Tracie laughed and they walked out the door.
Holly locked the door and went upstairs just as Gail came out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around her. "Whys the doors open?" Gail asked, looking at Holly She was still pissed off. "Because I want to talk to you, and I don't want you to feel trapped." Holly shrugged trying to access Gail temper. "Did you at least close Sophie's door." Gail asked, pulling on a pair of sweats under her towel. "Don't be mad please?" Holly asked, sitting on their bed. "Sophie is with Tracie, they are going to the zoo today." Holly watched Gail move around room dressing as she went.
"So you can run without her seeing you do it." Gail muttered chewing on her lip. "Go Holly, I'm not going to try and convince you to stay." Gail walked into the closet and pulled on her running shoes. "Do you want me to leave Gail, do you not want me here?" Holly was about to cry the last few arguments hadn't been like this, they had been upset but gail was angry, fuming, and saying everything she knew would hurt holly the most. "I asked you to move in with me Holly, I want you here, but I don't want you to feel like you're doing me some kind of favor being here, that you are obligated to live with me and Sophie because we asked you to be here." Gail walked into the bedroom and looked at Holly.
"Then why are you doing this, why are you treating me like this, like you want me to leave?" Gail could hear the tears in Holly's voice. "You have been here a month Holly, you have been back a month and it's been hell, you won't touch me, you keep saying it's because you trying to take it slow, but what is going on, it's never been like this with us, it's like you're looking for a way out. It's like you're not touching me because you're about to leave, looking for a way to let me down easy" Gail asked, she was pissed, every muscle tense. "Gail, we haven't been together this long in two years, I'm trying to find a routine, to find my place with you and Sophie, things are different" Holly sighed and reached for her phone on the night stand as it started to ring. "Do you not want to me with me?" Gail asked, her voice cracking.
"It's this case isn't it" Holly sighed, looking at a picture of her, Gail, and Sophie with the golden gate bridge in the background. "This case, it's too much like perik isn't it?" Holly asked again putting her phone in the drawer of her night stand. A few days before Holly had landed back in Toronto, Gail had caught a case, her first big case of homicide detective peck. Women in her early 20's had been bound, drugged, and tossed into the lake. Holly wasn't the ME on the case, but she knew enough about it to know it had to be affecting Gail.
"Stop avoiding my question Holly!" Gail yelled and Holly flinched. "I love you Gail, of course I want to me here with you, with Sophie. I love you both Gail, I want you" Holly was trying to hold back the tears, pulling her knees to her chest. "Then why won't you touch me?" the tears in Gail's eyes threatening to spill over. "Because you're different Gail is that what you want to heat, you've been acting differently. You act like sex is going to fix the way you feel, that it's going to stop the nightmares." Holly breathed into her knees "that's why I wasn't in bed at 5 this morning when you woke up Gail, because you've been having nightmares since I came home, and you fight me every time I try to hold you close, you scream, and you cry and it hurts, it hurts knowing that I can't help you with this." Holly looked at Gail and biting on her lip trying to control her breathing. "Gail, I want to be with you, I love you, but everything is so different, you're acting different and I don't know how to be with this version of you." Holly got out of bed and walked past Gail downstairs to the kitchen.
She didn't want to have this conversation, to admit he saw the fear in Gail's eyes. The pain, Gail was having nightmares every night, the dreams that haunted her that Holly couldn't make go away. Holly was afraid of having this conversation with Gail, admitting her own fears. Holly made a cup of coffee and sat on the couch. Trying to cool off, she didn't want to fight with Gail, but she didn't know how making it better. "I'll be back later." Gail called over her shoulder as she walked out the door and Holly broke down in tears, Sobs escaping against her will. Maybe Gail didn't want her here and she should leave, go stay with Rachel for a few days, and give Gail a chance to cool off time to breathe.
Maybe moving in together so soon was a bad idea, they had been together for nearly 2 and a half years, but that had been over the phone, and Skype, and random visits when weekends could I managed. She had spent time getting to know Sophie, falling in love with the little girl who captured her girlfriend's heart as well as Holly's. Holly didn't know what to do, and she knew if she explained things to Tracie that Gail would kill her for sharing their personal information. Holly felt stuck, unsure if she should wait for Gail to get home, or leave for a few days to let her cool off.
