Author's Note:
Yeah, I know... Short. Pointless. But I had to write something since whitefire23 and I were at the mall today and saw Kakashi (flavored) bubblegum at Suncoast and, well... hilarity ensued.
This could end up just staying as it is or continuing. It depends on my level of lazyosity and/or how many days I'll have free between speech team and band.
Like everything else, I gain no profit from writing or publishing this, and I don't own Naruto or any of its characters, even though I'd like to.
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Uzumaki Naruto, 11-year-old boy annoyance, walked down the street behind the taller man, seemingly radiating with pent-up energy and a desire for attention.
"No."
"But Iruka-senseiiiiiii..."
"No."
"You said you have a cupon!"
"No."
Umino Iruka slowly ran his fingertips over the scar that ran across his nose, hoping the familiar gesture would help alleviate some of his stress. These past few weeks he had been feeling more aggitated than normal, and he could sum up why in one amazingly awkward conversation he kept replaying in his head.
It had happened in his classroom a week before. He had been sitting with his forehead resting in his left palm, his right hand busy pinching the bridge of his nose in the hopes of relieving his monstrous headache, when the two had walked in.
"HELLO, MY GOOD FRIEND IRUKA!" Boomed Maito Gai as he barged through the doorway, a bag containing three boxed lunches in his right hand and a care-free, seemingly uninterested Kakashi following behind.
Iruka simply looked up, groaned, waved them in, and went back to wishing he was dead.
"What's wrong? Are you ill?" Inquired Gai as he sat the lunches down on Iruka's desk.
"No... Not ill. Just, lately, I've been tired all the time... cranky... you know."
"P.M.S.," said Kakashi from his place leaning against the doorway.
"Lonliness!" Exclaimed Gai at the same time, slamming his hands down on the desk.
"Lonliness?" Asked Iruka, entirely baffled as to how Gai had come to that conclusion.
"Yes! You must go out, meet those with whom you are interested in, and get to know them!"
"In other words," said Kakashi while strolling towards the other two, "you need to get laid."
Iruka simply stared. "I need to get laid?"
"Yes. Laid. L-A-I-D. Spank the monkey, wax the floor..." He began flipping through his current novel for more euphamisms.
"Yes. Yes, thank you, Kakashi, I understand what that means..."
After a few more minutes of humiliating conversation revolving around his love life (or, rather, lack of), Iruka had simply walked out of the room with his papers and left the two there to bicker about whether there was a such thing as male menopause or not.
Iruka closed his eyes and took a deep breath to try to clear his mind. 'Think about your current situation, NOT what they said about... about..."
A solid 90 pounds slammed into his back, sending him sprawling to the ground.
"Aww, sensei, you were supposed to catch me!"
'You know,' he thought, as the blonde sat up on his back with clearly no intention of moving, 'maybe they were right.'
