Hm...I'm on a roll with the writing thing lately...three fics in as many days. Must be making up for those months I didn't do much. ^^

Only meant this to be a one shot originally, but so much for that. ^^ Anyhoo, this fic is written in the first person from Reno's perspective. It'll be yaoi, I warn you now, and will also have some pretty disturbing content. Aka: Not happy stuff. If that's not your cup of tea, there's a little something called the back button you should be using right about now. ^_^

It'll also get a bit fluffy in places too though, knowing me. *grin* No lemon, but probably some pretty heavy lime...and uh, that's all I can think of at 2:30am. ^_^ *passes out*

Disclaimer: Not mine...*snore* No happy bishies...*mumble* Happy bishies belong to square...*Zzzzzzzz*

~*~Requiem~*~

It's strange how one's life can change so drastically. How it can go from heaven to hell in an instant, and vice versa. I went from being a grimy kid on the streets to being an accomplished Turk. Then, at the end, my world crashed down around my ears and I was in hell again. Not the same kind of hell as before, but hell nevertheless...and far more painful.

It's because of him. All of it. Tseng made me what I am, and then he broke me. It's kinda funny; everything I am is through no action of my own, but because of him. I suppose I should be upset that I owe so much of what I am to one man...I've always considered myself a rather independent sort. But I'm not, in fact, I'm more grateful then he ever knew. I don't seem like the kind of guy who feels much gratitude about anything, but I do. I'm grateful to him for seeing through the dirty street kid to the possibilities underneath. Possibilities I never would have imagined.

I guess...I'm just trying to work through this without going crazy. Tseng's death hit me hard. I couldn't handle it. I just couldn't. And so I tried pushing every thought, every memory of him away, and the pain along with it. It didn't work. I only ended up hurting all the more because of it. So, I'll try it the other way. Instead of trying to forget, I'll remember. Remember him, all the things he did, all that he was. Everything that made him so important to me. The bad along with the good. Maybe then I'll be able to put his spirit to rest. Maybe then I can move on and live my life again. Or maybe not.

But...what the hell? It's worth a shot.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Hey, Reno...." Marrick started.

Glaring, I reached out and grabbed him roughly, clapping a hand over his mouth. "Shut UP!" I hissed viciously, "When I say don't talk, I mean don't fucking talk!"

He stared at me with wide eyes for a moment, and then nodded.

Releasing him, I turned back to watching the few passerby there were at this hour, feeling a little guilty about reacting so harshly. But I was tense as hell, and scared out of my wits, and I sure as hell didn't want anyone noticing us. So I suppose anyone in my position would be snappy.

Glancing back at Marrick, I sighed. I had been on the streets for as long as I could remember; doing everything I had to in order to survive. Stealing, mostly. But I had someone else to take care of now, and it just wasn't enough anymore. Not for both of us.

Marrick had been an orphan his whole life as well, but unlike me, he'd been one of the few lucky ones to be raised in an orphanage. Then the orphanage had lost it's funding, leaving the kids on the streets to fend for themselves.

One day I had happened to come upon Marrick getting the living shit beat out of him by a couple of assholes I'd seen around. I don't know what got into me; I'm not normally the valiant type. I was usually smart enough to know not to stick my nose into other people's problems. In this world, you lived longer that way. But, for some reason or another, I decided to help the kid out. Maybe it was that fate crap at work or something. Who knows?

I was by no means what you'd call big, but I was a vicious little shit. I knew how to fight, and I was damned good at it. It didn't take me long to knock those bastard's heads together and send 'em scurrying away with their tails between their legs.

After that, I kinda...adopted Marrick I suppose. He wouldn't have lasted more then a few more days without some sort of protection, and I felt sorry for the kid. He was young, barely ten, and small for his age. And pretty. Hell, the kid was prettier then most girls, and it wasn't hard to imagine where he'd end up left on his own, that is if he didn't starve or get beaten to death first. The slums definitely weren't the safest place for a pretty, defenseless kid.

That's why I was here, about to do something that made my gut tighten up in cold fear, made my stomach churn till I thought I was going to hurl. For Marrick. So he'd have food in his stomach and clothes on his back. He was like a little brother to me, and fucking damned if I was going to let him starve.

It shouldn't be so hard, really. A lot of the others did it and came out of it okay, and more importantly, with a decent amount of cash in their pockets. What mattered was keeping Marrick healthy, and I'd do anything in my power for him. I loved the stupid little brat.

I glanced at the large clock on the building across the street, and sighed. It was getting late, and I knew I should send Marrick home before I missed my chance. This was not something I wanted Marrick to know about, but he'd insisted on coming anyway, and I'd given in on the condition he'd go home when I told him to.

"Marrick?" I said softly, turning to look at him.

He looked at me with those wide sloe eyes, full of questions and a spark of fear because he didn't understand what was going on. "Yeah Reno?" He asked quietly.

"Go home." I said simply.

Uncertainty plain on his face, Marrick glanced out at the people on the street before looking back at me. He shifted from foot to foot, looking distinctly uncomfortable. "But, Reno..." He began hesitantly.

"Listen, kid." I said, giving him a look. "We agreed that when I said go, you'd go. So get the hell outta here, and keep outta sight, okay? And whatever you do, don't go anywhere till I get back, got it?"

"Yessir." He mumbled, turning to go. He paused then, casting a glance back at me, and a second later he was hugging me fiercely, small arms wrapped around my chest, face buried in my shoulder.

I smiled slightly, returning the embrace. He was a good kid...it was a shame life had dealt him such a hard hand.

"Be careful, okay?" Marrick said, words muffled by my shoulder.

I couldn't help but smile again. "Of course kiddo." I said, ruffling his hair. "Always. Now get going." I said, stepping away and giving him a gentle shove.

Marrick said nothing, just stared at me for a moment, and then he was gone, melting into the shadows. He was good at that sort of thing. Vanishing, I mean. Damned if he wasn't better at hiding then anyone I'd ever met. Then again, if he wasn't, there's no way in hell I'd have let him go alone.

Turning my attention back to the street, I leaned back against the wall, waiting nervously for the man I was supposed to meet. There weren't many people left out at this hour, and the street was nearly deserted. The only light provided was that of the neon signs from the businesses lining the street; most of them closed. Those and the few street lamps that weren't broken. All in all it made for a rather eerie scene, and it only added to my apprehension.

Then suddenly, as if appearing from nowhere, there he was. I knew rationally that he'd just passed from the dark into one of the pools of light, but it sent a fearful chill up my spine nevertheless. I shook my head, trying to clear it, trying to ignore the tight grip fear had on my heart and told myself to grow the hell up.

It didn't work. Fuck, I was scared. Not that I'd ever admit it to anyone else, of course, but just thinking about what lay ahead of me...No. Firmly stopping that train of thoughts in its tracks, I thought instead of Marrick. Reminded myself that this was for him, and that it I didn't go through with it, I'd be failing the kid.

That helped a little, not much, but at least it was something. He didn't see me, I realized when he stopped walking and just stood, waiting. So I took the opportunity to study him. Didn't look like a bad sort, really. The man was definitely on the attractive side, he had one of those perfect tans, and his short cropped blonde hair fell just so. The guy looked more like he'd be at home on a beach then in the business suit he now wore. It also seemed to me that this guy took a lot of pains with his appearance, a sharp contrast to my own rather unkempt looks. Almost made me feel a little self-conscious. Almost.

I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself. Time to get this over with. After all...hell, what's the worst that could happen? I considered that for a moment and decided it was probably best not to think about it.

Well, here goes nothing. "Hey." I said, stepping out of the shadows, "Jared, right?" I asked, trying to sound nonchalant and hoping to hell my fear didn't show.

He didn't say anything at first; instead looking me over like one might look at something they intended to buy. Impassive and calculating. Which I suppose made sense, and I tried not to squirm under that piercing gaze. I wasn't quite sure if I'd be insulted or relieved if the guy changed his mind. I mean, I was a bit on the scruffy side, but I sure as hell wasn't ugly either. Apparently he liked what he saw, because after a moment a small smile curved his lips and he nodded.

Unsure what to do now; I just kind of stared at him, nerves tingling and jumpy as hell. If someone where to come up behind me at that point and say, "Boo!" I probably would have jumped out of my skin and all the way to fucking Wutai.

Luckily for my nerves not a minute had passed before the guy turned and started walking away, obviously meaning for me to follow. Falling into step beside him, I followed him to his car, and got into the passengers seat, all without a word. My heart was pounding wildly, and I jumped when he started the car, the sudden sound nearly scaring me out of my wits. I was a wreck.

The man, Jared, didn't speak a word during the drive, and for some reason the oppressive silence only frazzled my poor nerves more. The ride was a short one, far too short, and soon we pulled up in front of an apartment building. I sat there for a moment after Jared got out of the car, trying pretty damned unsuccessfully to calm myself down, and after a moment I gave up and followed.

He led me up a flight of stairs and down a long hallway, saying nothing, still maintained that God. Damned. Nerve-wracking. SILENCE! I felt like I was going to scream if he didn't say something soon.

But he said nothing, and I didn't scream. Instead, I followed him to his door, on the outside the perfect example of composure. On the inside, I felt like crying. The fear was nearly choking me now.

He opened the door and slipped inside, leaving it opened behind him. For a moment I just stood there, staring into that room. A hundred thousand confused emotions were screaming through me, and I'd never been so fucking scared in my life. Taking a deep breath, I told myself firmly that this was for Marrick. Repeating that over and over like a silent mantra, clinging to that thought like a lifeline, I stepped into the room, shutting the door softly behind me.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Next chapter: Tseng makes his entrance, and a lot of general not happiness.