Greetings Earthlings! This originally wasn't a Calvin and Hobbes fic, but it was so heavily inspired by Calvin that I couldn't not publish the way, this is from Calvin's POV.

:::

I don't know how it happened, I swear!

...okay, I do, but I definitely didn't do it! I wasn't even there at the time!

What–How do you...? Okay fine, I was there, but it wasn't me who did it!

What do you mean am I sure? I couldn't have done it without knowing, could I?

...don't try and blackmail me into admitting it. I'm not admitting anything.

Hey, no fair! And nobody remembers the Great Poodle Incident of '88 anymore anyways.

...you could never prove I did it...

...

...

...

...FINE! I DID IT! IT WAS ME ALL ALONG! BUT YOU'LL NEVER CONVINCE ANYONE ELSE! YOUR VICTORY IS FOR NOTHING! I WILL RULE ALL! I! ME! I–wait a minute.

What's that?

...a recorder?

...a voice recorder?

...an active voice recorder?

Oh dear.

Fine.

I give up.

It was me.

I'm sorry for stealing the cookie jar, Mom.

:::

So there you have it. Man, this was fun to write. What did you guys think? Let me know in the comments!

See ya!

-Unconscious Again