To whoever finds this letter, I'm so sorry. I never meant for anyone to know about any of this. This was never a part of me that I meant for anyone to see; this suffering was meant to be mine and mine alone, it's much too heavy a burden for anyone else to try to carry. You'd only be crushed by the immense weight that this holds.

Henry, I pray to every god I know that you never read these. I know there's a lot that you know about me and a lot that you think you know about me; you've always been good at reading people (I suppose you get it from Emma, that's kind of her forté). But there's a lot about me that you don't know, that you could never imagine, that I hope you'll never know. But you've always been too smart for your own good and I suppose that it was all just a matter of time before it unraveled itself for you and for that, I am truly sorry. These are things no one should ever have to read about their mother. This isn't something anyone should ever have to find. I can only hope that you don't think any less of me. That's all I can ask of you.

My mother damaged me, Rumplestiltskin damaged me, the Evil Queen damaged me, and I suppose that I did, in fact, damage myself as well somewhere along the way. Most of this is the aftermath of myself. I may have been the only one all along, I really can't be quite sure anymore, I've placed the blame on too many people too many times in an effort to fix myself.

If you read these letters, there's no going back. There's no pretending that you never read them and there's no pretending that everything's okay. This isn't like that. This is everything no one's ever known. This is an extension of myself on paper. This is everything in my head that I've never said out loud. This is over 28 years of suffering beyond imagine compressed into the simplest, most transparent, uncomplicated form that it can take; I don't know that it could take any other form outside of myself. This is every tear I've shed and every sleepless night I've had. This is rooted deep and this is angry and this is injured.

Just like me.