Heartspin:So my hubby is outta town for work and I am in a mood. Thats where this came from.
One Last Ride
It had been a mere blink of time, just moment of his existence. All of it was coming to a silent close,much too fast for his liking.
There wasn't a title he could put to himself or Sam that properly designated their relationship to each other, and there was no word in any Earth language or Cybertronian that could describe the level of emotion and attachment they had for one another. Bumblebee could only settle for love, for that was the best there was.
They knew this was coming, and even though his Sam was ready, the yellow autobot felt he would never be. Still young by his kinds standards his spark felt heavy with grief, remembering the request from his human-his boy- given only a few days prior.
"One last ride Bee."
The doctors had offered Samuel Witwicky an in home nurse for palliative care, and despite the blond holo's begging the now silver haired wrinkled human, whose body had been slowly off-lining over the past few years,refused the offer.
"I don't want to die surrounded by nurses and a unwelcoming house Bee with you parked outside,"Sam had explained sadly to the holoform, which by now was all too used to mimicking being human and sobbed,"I want my last moments on this earth to be with you-the real you Bee. Nothing would please me more than to die surrounded by you."
Bumblebee had cried hard that night, his optics leaking everywhere unchecked. The elderly man had smiled weakly, setting old weary brown eyes-those same eyes Bee had fallen for so many years ago-upon the autobot.
They had done little to prepare,Sam already had a will written explaining all his money and assets were for charity. Then,with only a few oxygen tanks and wearing his D-day jacket, Sam rested in Bumblebees seat for one last trip. They headed to the overlook back in Tranquility. The town where Sam had been raised,where he had met Bee and the autobots and changed both their lives forever.
They had driven for two days in silence. No radio,no song. There were few words spoken between them; it was unecissary. By this point they were just comfortable being together-each others company the only comfort they could experience now.
A day into the trip,while driving the empty highway Sam spoke softly, a thin weak voice, as he gazed to the stars,"Where will you go Bee?"
It had been over 30 years that Optimus and the others had left earth-Bumblebee had remembered Ratchets begging for him to come warning him of this inevitable path he was going down by loving a human.
At the silence the human sighed,"Will you be able to contact them?"
A small sad chrip was the only didnt trust his vocal processor to correctly respond in English. Sam understood,though, knowing the other well enough. Again, there was no amount of verbal communication that could express their feelings for each other, and Bumblebee found himself wishing he was able to find a way to articulate to the precious human how he felt. It wasn't needed, but he wanted to feel better somehow.
It was evening the next day when they arrived to the viewpoint that overlooked Sams hometown.
There was a thick stretch of silence, Bumblebee could sense the very life in Sam slipping from him as they sat there.
"I have something for you buddy,"a thumb,bony and weak caressed the autobot symbol on the steering wheel.
He didn't wait for a response before pulling out two things. First, a thumb drive, and then a CD, larger than most by an inch or so, that was completely made up of gold with the words,"For Bumblebee, the best guardian in the galaxy."
"Can we listen to the last song,"a wheez and Bee whined-not like a child or puppy but like someone in a lot of pain. Sam fumbled with the case and Bee's holoform appeared and held the trembling fingers. He inserted it into the disk drive that he changed just to fit the new sized disk.
The blond projection,which had barely changed since the day Sam first saw it,quickly gathered the old withering man in his arms and held him as he immediately skipped to the last song-number 37- and cradled the other to his chest all too aware thanks to his scanners that the oxygen tank was now empty and his charge was slowly suffocating.
Here Comes the Sun played lightly through the speakers and he felt that old bony hand struggle to stroke his cheek. He turned those inhuman electric blue eyes, recording every detail he could of their last moments together. Sam was now over 100, human advancements in technology allowing his life to go on far longer than either of them could have dreamed. He was thin now, hair silver and sparse, patches of skin darker than others littered his skin,his lips thin and chapped. But his eyes,even though watery, had not changed and Bee focused on those lovely brown orbs.
" I always be with you,"the words light, a struggle forced out with what little air he had,"maybe find you again,"a strangled chuckle.
Holding that hand to his cheek they sat there silently as the sun set,and slowly,gently, the blond connected their lips as they had done for the first time many years ago in the same spot. The last words of the song echoed telling him that it was alright,but he couldn't bring himself to agree while he held Sams heavy head up to keep his cooling lips on his own.
Bumblebee stayed there, and saw Sams heart do one final beat before refusing to pump the boys life blood through his body,brain activity slowed and it too stopped as the organic body shut down completely. Bumblebee trembled terribly, both his holoform and alt form unable to stop. The scanners he had trained on the boy nonstop when the other was but a 17 year old unknowing child that monitored every movement, every breath, told him there would never be another sign of life from the organic life form and there was no point to continue their use. He could not bring himself to switch them off yet, though.
His sensors notified him that with the night came cooler temperatures in the early fall weather, and instinctively he turned on the heater as he stared at the human who meant so much to him. Sam had always hated the cold.
"Bury me there. Its our place,"Sam voice echoed in his audio receptors but he knew it was a glitch. Sam was gone, his body all that was left, he would not wake as he had done so many times before to look up at Bee with a smile.
He had requested this after telling Bumblebee his last wish to drive to the overlook. Now that Sam was finally at rest, the yellow scout found he was unable to complete the request. If he buried his Sam, what would be left as proof he had lived?
The camaro pulled out of its parking spot, not too sure of what he was doing but knowing he couldn't quite bring himself to lay the body to rest for one last time. A seat belt lovingly held its precious cargo close to the seat, though it was pointless as for he was not protecting but a corpse.
Bee wished more than anything for his sensors to pick up any sign of life, for the half lidded empty eyes he now couldn't bring himself to look into, to blink and come alive again. But he knew deep in his spark, his processor not allowing him to think those foolish things without reminding him that his humans life was finally over. His body had worn down, to the point no amount of modification or upgrades would bring him back.
The autobot found that, even though his processor put this obvious fact to the forefront of his thoughts, he refused to take it-wasn't ready to fully accept what had happened.
He drove around the drastically changed town, which he had done many nights like this with his Sam when he had been younger and there were less worries. Slowly he turned down a street that he had driven down so many times during those early years.
Slowing he stopped in front of what used to be Judy and Ron Witwickys home, they themselves having passed away years ago. If he had been going off memory like a human he could have easily passed the house.
The new owners had repainted it a horrible shade of pink, and the garage that had housed him for two years before Sam went to college was now converted into an extension of the house. Judy's beloved flower garden was gone, as was the cute little birdbath that had been replaced on more than one occasion. What was once the prized lawn of Ron, that Sam always forgot to not walk on, was mostly replaced by a deck and hot-tub with a swing-set in what little grass was left.
It was as if all visual reminders of the Witwickys had been erased from the earth. The spot Sam used to give him car washes and waxes was now littered with toys and bikes, Sams bedroom window now had foil covering it so he couldn't see inside.
Bumblebee was confused as why he had came in search of something that would have proved Sam had been alive, and he felt unease as the body in the front seat felt heavier. He wanted to feel anger to the new owners for having destroyed the precious visual memory, so easily erasing Sam. But he found himself unable to, too numb as he slowly rolled away.
He soon found himself at the place Sam and he had first met; where Sam had bought him and he took on the roll as here, there were no visual reminders of the existence of Sam owner of the shady car dealership had long ago passed, the car lot replaced by a drug store, its parking lot now emptying with the night. Soon the camaro found himself alone in the lot, in the precise spot he had parked when Sams chocolate gaze had landed on him.
The yellow scout didn't keep track of how long he sat there, but eventually he turned on his tires unwilling to sit there wishing that the all too cold hands of the body would thumb across the precious autobot symbol on his horn like it had in greeting everyday in the past. He made sure to keep the heater blowing on high, as he drove back to the overlook knowing that he had to complete Sams request even though he had been unable to find any lasting reminder that Sam had lived.
Arriving back to the outlook, the moon having passed halfway through the sky, Bumblebee took in the sight as if through new optics. This place had virtually went untouched by time since Sam and he had frequented here, unlike the rest of the town.
Parking, he forced his holoform to appear, though it felt different. No longer did it mimic human breath, or expression. No effort was put forth to looking human. It simply was a tool,now moving his beloved Sam from his interior.
Slowly he transformed into his bipedal form and gently cradled the body to his spark-box, the holoform disappearing, trying to will some of his warmth into the humans body. He looked to the gray face, unable to bring himself to meet with those partially opened eyes as they gazed passed him a slight smile on those chapped lips. His boy had died happy, it should have been comforting,but it wasn't. He selfishly wished for the other to have kept living, to keep fighting as long as he could.
"Always with you,"Bee shuttered, swearing that Sam had whispered it through the parted lips but was well aware it was a memory glitch. His processor reasoned it would be easier to delete all files pertaining to the human, but he knew if he did then everything of Sam would be gone. He was the last memory of Sam, the only thing that still existed to prove the other had truly been alive.
Shaking he let air whoosh out of his vents, looking around hopelessly. It was passed time to bury the body, there was nothing left that made it Sam his processor reasoned. Nothing was going to bring back what ever it was that made him Sam, that amazing unexplained energy called life.
Standing wobbly on what had always been strong sturdy legs in the past he stepped back Sam still held against his spark casing in a vein attempt to warm him. Transforming his arm into a cannon he blew a hole close to the edge of the outlook going about 10 ft deep he hesitated, holding the body above the hole seeing the wind rustle the thin hair-surely cold for a human.
Sam always hated the cold,he had always bundled up more than their other human friends, and would snuggle into Bees interior happily while Bee blasted him with warm air. Illogically he pulled the body back to his spark trying to warm it;when Sam had been alive this action would have been met with a thankful smile and a gentle touch. He knew neither would come, but still tried to warm a body that refused to accept the heat.
How could he bury Sam? He questioned as he stared at the cold uninviting hole in the ground. Sam had hated the cold, saying it made him feel as if he was truly alone.
But the corpse would feel no difference, his processor tried reasoning with his illogical thought process. There was no brain activity to tell it of any difference.
With great difficulty he laid the old withered man down at the bottom, on his side with an arm under his head pillowing it, the other across his middle -it was how Sam often slept. He stayed crouched there,then opened up a compartment, taking out the medals the boy had earned during the long war the autobots had brought to Earth. He laid them down near the others head, and sat back desideratum for the others presence making it too difficult to leave just yet.
Bumblebee couldn't even pretend that the human was resting. Not only because his scanners, still tirelessly monitoring the other,told him so but because those half closed eyes looked straight through him. He stood, the lifeless gaze pushing him to accept the death that they had known was coming since day back he surveyed the body again, hesitant. It looked so cold and lonely. Reaching down,knowing he was acting illogically but he couldn't leave the other so lonely looking, he pulled a part of his chest plating off, laying the curved yellow metal like a blanket over him as it still held a bit of his sparks warmth in it.
Forcing himself to move,and not think,he took rock and sand in several trips before the hole was filled and he forced his sensors to turn off for the first time from monitoring the human since he had first saw him. He laid the rock over Sams body as if he were handling those delicate eggs they used to decorate with everyone on Easter. He stood, slouched as if something heavy weighed him down,looking around feeling suddenly very lost.
He had spent many years slowing his processor down to take in every little detail he could when he was with the human so as to store it away for later. But he didn't want to remember this moment, didn't want to file away the emptiness in his spark or the great weight on his shoulders.
81 years-it had been much longer than either of them could have wished for, but Bee couldn't bring himself to feel he could do was stand over the newly laid earth,and look to the world around him; the planet Earth. The humans planet. He was the last autobot,and without Sam he did not belong.
For many years Sam had pestered him constantly about what he planned to do once the other passed. Bumblebee had always waved him away, unwilling to think of the inevitable fate as thinking of it would seal the others doom far had always unwillingly backed down, much to Bumblebees relief. Even now he was glad they didn't speak much of this day.
Looking out from his vantage point the large buildings of the city sparkled like the stars he knew he was destined to travel to. He shuffled uneasy, feeling out of place in the world he had been on for well over 100 years. His Sam was gone now, and his purpose to reside on the planet was gone. As the sun rose,though, Bumblebee could not find it in himself to abandon the lone grave
He knew he must disguise himself, it would not do well to possibly be captured and have any memory of Sam erased. But he couldn't bring himself to transform into that wonderful yellow black striped camaro Sam had loved so. Thinking back he slowly transformed, as if it pained him, into a beaten up unmarked car that was now more black than yellow, taking on the dark and beaten appearance of how his spark felt.
For many weeks he stayed parked,the fall soon melding into a particularly cold winter. local authorities had towed him away several times,only for him to return numbly watching over the grave of the other trying to find some kind of peace for his troubled spark. He still did not allow himself the memories of Sam, still not prepared to face what he would never have again.
No. He stored all those precious files away, to be reviewed at a later time.
More time passed and the winter soon broke to an early spring and it was this that brought the once skilled warrior around. It was something about the grass,a thin emerald green, and the array of wild flowers slowly making their way over the grave that woke him. An image of Sam on his stomach, similar flowers held in his fingers weaving together to make the autobot a small crown came to his processor unwillingly.
"Maybe find you again."
He looked around,blinking his optics was Sams voice, younger-though-when he had spoke those last words. It was a glitch, his processor reasoned, he was glitching. It would be best to delete those files. But Bumblebee refused to do so.
"Common, bolts for brains,"a teasing voice said into his audio receptors and he shivered. It wasn't wasn't there.
"Get your gears moving and get going. It's time to go Bee,"soft this time. The voice was coaxing. Much like he had sounded when he had when he had been in his 30s. Young, alive,but calm and patient. Understanding.
Bee looked up to the dark night sky, stars twinkling overhead. His transformation had been slow, his gears creaking and joints was the longest he had been in his alt form,it was difficult to go back.
Standing on now sturdy black armored legs he gazed up to the sky, optics zooming in on distant stars and their systems. Not for the first time his processor attempted to figure out where the energy that made a human live left to once they died,but it did this clearly for the first time.
"No more dotting,"The voice sounded close, Bumblebee swore there was a brush of a hand on his spark casing,"You have got to go."
This wasn't an unwanted glitch, he reasoned. He needed it, if only for now, to find the strength to leave the planet that had been home to the only one he had ever been willing to call his sparkmate. His processor finally concurred it would do well to rid of it at a later time.
The overlook was rarely visited,so Bumblebee spent one last earth day;now in bipedle form, next to Sams grave. His radio tuned on playing lowly songs that had been important to him and Sam. He watched the sun set as it had only a handful of months ago during Sams last living moments.
After the sky was dark, he stood realizing for the first time since before Sam died his optics were leaking turned to the grave silently, words had never been needed between the two-they knew how the other felt and words were not powerful enough to convey how he felt. But when he had said nothing the night Sam died, tonight-leaving Earth and Sams body on it- he felt the need to say what he had never said aloud while the other had been alive.
"I love you Sam."
There was so much more to it than simply loving him, but Bumblebee was unable to find a word or phrase that expressed how he felt any more than that. Turning he readied himself for launch, transforming into an asteroid shaped rocket and boosted off the planets surface after setting his system to a particular young star with several planets circling it that he had spied the night Sam died but had been too upset to process. With a burst of power and speed he quickly departed the planet Earth, a planet now devoid of all autobots.
After he got to cruising speed,the small blue planet shrinking as he left, he turned and watched the planet that held his Sam and finally allowed the files with all the memories of Sam to open. The proof that Sam had lived replayed on his processor as the planet became a pale blue dot,soon not visible and its sun became another star among billions.
The images of Sam laughing,frowning, of his happy times and those times of with friend and family,embarrassing times,times with the autobots, or times of them alone. Years of memories pressed to the forefront of his processor and he let out a wail of pain, not a sound but a frequency. He knew if any other autobot or decepticon were near they would have picked up of raw unmasked pain but he couldn't bring himself to care. The pain behind his unquenchable need to have Sam with him was great and he only felt it grow as Earths solar system became a pinprick.
He continued his trek, unwilling to tear his gaze from that distant star, knowing the blue globe that held the body of his beloved Sam lay there. And begun to play the CD Sam had made him, finding that-from beginning to end- it held some of the most important songs of their relationship. From their meeting to their friendship which grew overtime into a love that he still felt. The last song,number 37, playing as the Beatles assured him the sun was coming and it was all right.
This was the fate he had dealt himself, committing to it years ago in Chicago, and as he relived every moment in detail he could with Sam, he could not come up with even an ounce of regret.
-FIN-
Heartspin:So I am unsure how well this translated into text, but this was on my mind and I had to get it down. I may have a sequel, if people would wish it, to give poor Bee a happier end. I'm not one to write angst things normally,but I'm moody so here we are.
Lemme know what you think.
