Disclaimer: If I owned Harry Potter, do you really think that Sirius would get finished off by drapery?
A/N: Just a little ficlet that thought of, a sympathy drabble for poor ol' Petey-boy!
Little Rat.
'Why? Why did I do it?'
'Vengeance...'
'Vengeance? For what? They did nothing to me! What motivated me to – to do that?'
'Don't lie to yourself, you know perfectly well why–'
'No I don't!'
'Delusional, that's what you are, delusional...lying to yourself, little rat.'
'Shut up!'
'Don't get angry with me, little rat.'
'I have every fucking right to be angry! Don't tell me not to get angry!'
'I never said that you didn't have any right to be angry, it's only natural to feel that special little feeling when you start thinking about them.'
'You know that's not what I mean! I had no reason at all to be angry at them...'
'You had every reason to be angry, especially at them. Just look at the way they treated you – like nothing, worse than nothing. They saw you as scum, something stuck on the bottom of their shoes, with your whiny, irritating, voice. They thought you were a constant thorn in their sides.'
'No they didn't! T-they were my friends!'
'A st-st-stutter, Petey-boy? Lying to yourself, Petey-boy, that's what you're doing, lying to yourself, by telling yourself in a repetitive manner, in your own little mantra, that they actually thought you were a human being. Think about it, the only actual time they actually paid attention to you was when they were picking, taunting, teasing you.'
'...'
'Silence, little rat? Are you finally listening to me? Are you finally accepting the truth?'
'...what about Re–'
'He did nothing to prevent them. You know that. He just sat there and watched, watched while they ridiculed you. He probably got some kind of twisted little satisfaction out of it, seeing the tears well up whilst they rubbed it in your face for the seventh time that day that you'd failed your Potions essay, he was as sick as the other two bastards were. You know that.'
'He helped me–'
'Only out of pity.'
'That's not true!'
'Peter, Peter, Peter, when will you learn? They were all the same, even the werewolf. He only helped you with your homework when he was bothered. And when he did help you he only did it because he felt sorry for you, he thought you were a pathetically foolish idiot who couldn't do anything for yourself, let alone think for yourself. Only his morals were too high to actually say anything. Who would've thought? A werewolf with morals, it's almost laughable. A bloodthirsty beast cannot have morals.'
'...but what about Lily? She did nothing.'
'That's precisely it. She did nothing. She was the first to defend Snivellus' honour when you and your fellow Marauders attacked. And yet, when they were picking on you in her clear view, she did nothing. She was like the rest of them; she thought you were weak, that you couldn't think for yourself, she thought you were worthless, unimportant, and insignificant. Just like the rest of them. You know that.'
'...'
'Silence once again, little rat? Ran out of arguments against me?'
'Harry. Harry did not deserve this. He did not deserve for me to just hand him over to the Dark Lord on a silver platter!'
'Why do you care about that kid, anyway? It doesn't matter whether he's alive or dead, not to you. They kept you out of his life since the day he was born, literally. They didn't even bother flooing you when he was being born. You only knew two days later when Sirius casually mentioned it in conversation, as if you already knew. Do you remember the way that idiot was so surprised that you were surprised. Did the fuckers assume that you somehow developed physic powers and that you already knew every single detail of the birth, and therefore wouldn't have to mention it in the slightest?'
'...'
'Accept it, Pete, you meant nothing to them, so why should they mean something to you?'
'...you're right.'
'Of course I am, Peter.'
'Thank you, thank you for being here.'
'It's alright, Petey-boy, I'll always be here for you...
...because, after all, I am you.'
