Author's Note: As mentioned at the beginning of Story 18, this one also focuses more heavily on some major events in the lives of the Elrics, and others, especially the children as they begin to venture out into the world beyond the safety of home.
This story has six chapters. It's a bit longer than the last ones! So please make sure you read the whole thing before moving on to the next story. (If you don't see six, it's because I haven't finished updating. If you do, obviously I finished!) ;)
June 8th, 1948
Sleeping late in the Elric house was beginning to seem like a lost cause. Sara tried to ignore the sounds of the house around her, but up in her room it was nearly impossible. It didn't help that she was no longer used to them.
It might have been better if it wasn't a Saturday. Downstairs, she heard her parents in the kitchen talking. The radio was on a music station, and she could hear the clink of breakfast dishes coming out of the cabinet. Down the hall she could hear Aldon in the shower, actually singing as he washed. Ethan shouted something to Aldon about hogging the bathroom and then she heard his feet as he thudded downstairs to use the other bathroom instead. She heard Bounce's feet skittering along behind Ethan as the little dog followed him as usual.
The one bright spot in all of it – the thing Sara really appreciated – was that not a single person had knocked on her door yet this morning. She had dragged in on the midnight train from her latest mission, come home, and crashed in her own bed without seeing a soul, and while she knew they knew she was in there, they hadn't bothered her. Her family understood what kind of work went into being a State Alchemist!
Two years; Sara had been a State Alchemist for a little over two years, and from day one she had been running. No sooner did she have her State license and the rank of Major when she'd been sent out on her first mission. She had been home for less than a week before she went on her second. She was young, unattached, and talented; that made her perfect for the kind of missions her father and uncle had done in their childhood; being sent here and there, wherever an alchemist was needed.
Not that they were overly difficult at first. In fact, the first time she'd been asked to do a mine inspection, she gave her superior officer – she was lucky enough to have now-Colonel Marcus Kane – a look and asked him flat out of this was supposed to be some kind of family tradition. He'd laughed. There had been other resources trips, trips to look at research other alchemists were doing around the country, and trips out to military outposts with higher ranking military officers where her duties would involve making sure regulations were followed in a more traditional assisting position. Those jobs also usually involved her helping make certain everything was shored up and functional. She was good at small, practical alchemy, especially when it came to fixing things; and she didn't find it demeaning to do that kind of work and never complained about it.
Other assignments had been more challenging. A couple had ended up in firefights when she had stumbled upon stolen goods from a military warehouse once, and someone attempting forbidden alchemy another. That one hadn't been pretty; but she had won the fight, coming home with only a minor graze-wound to the shoulder. That had been the first year.
The longest stretch Sara could count that she had been home since her first mission was one three-week stretch, and that had been almost a year ago. So it was no wonder her parents had stopped knocking on her door in the mornings when she got in late. Dad knew the routine, and her mother understood. Her brothers had just gotten used to it, or tired of getting snapped at and minor shocks of alchemy induced static! This time, she had been gone for almost two months, getting notices of the next assignment while still out in the field.
They were eating now. Aldon, Ethan, and Dad were quieter and she heard silverware. The smell of bacon, hot sweet rolls, and coffee wafted up through the vent in her floor and Sara finally gave in. Groaning, she rolled out of bed, dragged on an old fluffy blue bathrobe she kept here, and took only enough time to brush her hair out and pull it back in a long loose tail that now fell down past her butt before padding downstairs barefoot.
Her family looked up as she came into the room.
"Coffee?" was the first word out of her mother's mouth.
"Please!" Sara nodded a definite affirmative. "Cream, triple sugar."
"Gee, Sis," Aldon chuckled. "I was figuring you'd sleep until noon at least."
"Your melodious caterwauling was too much to resist," Sara retorted as she dropped into her seat and filled her plate. "This is fantastic, Mom," she commented. Traveling on a budget didn't leave much room for quality dining, and it was never anything like good home cooking.
"Your father made breakfast," Winry chuckled. "Thank him."
"Thanks," Sara smiled at her Dad as her Mom handed her coffee. Sara took a long sip of the hot liquid.
"Welcome home, Sara," Ed smiled. "What time did you get in?"
"About one," Sara sighed. "And the guys next to me on the train were completely smashed, so I couldn't get any sleep on the ride in."
"That's too bad," Winry scowled. "I hate inconsiderate travelers."
"What were you doing this time, Sara?" Ethan asked curiously.
"Avalanche relief," Sara sighed, still sipping her coffee. "Up between North City and Fort Briggs. Spent two weeks helping rebuild and shore up the place, clear out their water supply, lots of things." It had been one of the more draining assignments she'd had –emotionally as well as physically. Some things could only be done by hand, but watching the injured and rescued deal with their losses was trying. She had spent a lot of time with some of the kids that had been orphaned.
Her father seemed to read her thoughts and feelings without having to try. He was still good at that though; perhaps more given they were now talking about more common ground. "Everything's done up there then?"
Sara nodded. "Except for healing and re-establishing business and such, yes. The military's work is done there for now." She finished the coffee and started in on breakfast, ravenous now that she was a little more alert. Food hadn't been scarce, but it had been rationed, and she'd been doing a lot of hard labor. On the train home she had tried to sleep more than anything else and hadn't really been thinking about food. She kept thinking about the people they had helped, and the ones they had failed to save.
"That's all anyone can rightfully ask or expect," Ed replied with a nod. "Those people will all remember what you did for them though, not what you couldn't have fixed."
"I know," Sara smiled at him. "Believe it or not, I listened to your lessons."
"Maybe too well," Ed teased.
The table dissolved into general conversation that Sara tried to follow but, as often happened, she felt at least three steps behind, so she ate and listened. It still surprised her every time she came home that Aldon was three inches taller than Dad, he stood even with Roy Mustang! Of course, Maes Mustang was an inch taller than his father. Somewhere while she'd been gone, her oldest of her younger brothers had turned into a man without her noticing; still a teenager, but no kid. Heck, Aldon was going to be eighteen in a couple of months. He and Ollie Larson, their next door neighbor, had been talking for months about going up to North City, maybe even to Fort Briggs as civilian workers, to learn from the brilliant mechanics and engineers who worked up there. There were a lot of opportunities for creative minds when it came to working in the frigid north.
Ethan, sitting across from her, was always the most notable difference for marking the passage of time. While her parents hardly seemed to age, Ethan was growing in spurts, in maturation as well as physically. At ten, he was only a couple of inches shorter than Sara and still growing. Lean built, but it was obvious that he and Dad had been working hard on his training. She couldn't wait to see how much his alchemy had improved. Ethan was always eager to show her what he had picked up, and they still did alchemy together whenever she was home. Often, Maes would come over and they would all work together, like they had when she and Maes were younger.
"So you're definitely going," Winry said at one point, breaking Sara out of her reverie to realize she was talking to Aldon, who was reloading his plate.
Aldon nodded. "I got the confirmation letter yesterday, so did Ollie. The head engineer at Briggs said they'd be willing to take us on as apprentices, at least on a probationary basis; see how we did and go from there. He seemed pleased with what we know so far." He shrugged and bit into a sweet roll. "They want us up there by the first of August."
"What does Cassandra think about this?" Ed asked, mentioning Aldon's girlfriend of almost a year. Sara had met her a couple of times; nice enough girl, though she had little in common with her. Cassie– as she was usually called – was an easy going, artistic kind of girl without a violent bone in her body; slender, almost delicate really, with dark brown hair and bright green eyes. She had a dancer's almost non-existent form, though she had been volunteering at the hospital for several years and learning nursing.
Aldon grinned broadly. "She said she'd been thinking about doing some more rugged landscape paintings."
"So she's going with you?" Winry's expression was suddenly much more focused; her tone suspicious.
Sara tried not to chuckle. Much as she knew her parents liked Cassie in general, a lot of Aldon's common sense seemed to go out the window when it came to the girl. Though she had to admit it was amusing watching her normally logical brother so smitten; they were a pretty cute pair really.
"Yeah," Aldon replied, though he blushed. "At least, we've been talking about it."
"She'd probably freeze to death," Ethan quipped around a mouthful of bacon. "She's so skinny!"
Aldon snorted. "As if Lia isn't? Your girlfriend's a twig."
"She's not my girlfriend," Ethan replied hotly, his face going red; with annoyance Sara thought. Though she wondered how much of the protest was feigned, or if he really felt that way. "We're just friends; that's all."
"Sure you are," Aldon smirked. "That's why you follow her around like a puppy and she's always over right?"
"We're studying!" Ethan glared at him.
"That's enough boys," Winry replied calmly sipping her coffee. "I'm sure you have more productive and pleasant things to quarrel about at the breakfast table; at least that Sara might be interested in hearing about."
Sara smirked then. "Oh it's okay, Mom. They just make me feel more at home." It wouldn't be morning with her family if her brothers – or she and them – weren't getting on each other about something. At least it was usually good natured. They were too close, even now, to really be mean to each other; and no one wanted to cross Mom or Dad!
"Actually," Ed commented. "That was something we wanted to discuss with you."
"My brothers' fighting?" Sara asked, grinning.
"Smart mouth," Ed chuckled.
Winry just shook her head. "We were wondering if you'd like a little more privacy," she jumped into the conversation. "You're always welcome to keep your room of course, this is home, but if you wanted it the apartment over the shop's available. Laurence got married and moved out last month." Laurence was one of Winry's newer apprentices.
"The apartment? Really?" Sara was momentarily floored. Part of her wanted to feel bad about getting out of her folks place, but there was another part that was thrilled at the idea of having a place to call her own, and one that was still kind of home. "That would be great!"
"You can move in as soon as you like then," Winry chuckled. "I'm sure your brothers will be more than happy to help you move your things." The last was said with a warning look, as if daring them to say otherwise.
Aldon shrugged. "Sure!" he grinned wickedly. "My workshop in the cellar's full to overflowing, I could use the extra workspace."
"No fair," Ethan countered. "We need a better alchemy workshop at home! Then Dad and I won't have to use the living room anymore."
"Now there's an idea," Winry said, shaking her head. "We'll decide that later you vultures. You can both spend the next couple of days helping Sara get her stuff moved, on her schedule."
"Do you know how long you'll be in town this time?" Ed asked Sara.
Sara shook her head. "Not yet. I need to turn in my final report this morning and check in, but Colonel Kane promised me a little R&R after this last run. If he doesn't make good on that promise we'll be having words!"
"I'm sure Marcus will deliver then," Ed smiled. "You're no good to them if they break you too fast." There was a wry twist to his tone, and Sara knew why. They included him at this point, and he remembered his own early years rather vividly. She had gotten even more stories than she knew he had – and maybe than he had realized – from swapping tales about her missions in the last couple of years.
"Fortunate that I don't break easily," Sara chuckled, finishing off her own breakfast and feeling a little more alert, and definitely more energized from the family interaction. "I should get a shower and get moving. Thanks for breakfast." She got up and headed back upstairs, knowing that she had plenty of hot water – and clean laundry – already waiting. Most days, it was nice to be home!
Reporting in to Kane was never much of a hassle, which Sara appreciated. The Sky Fire Alchemist never treated her like a kid. He gave her the respect she was due for her hard work, but he was loose enough to joke around. Fortunately, he could take it as well as he could dish it out! She really enjoyed working under him most of the time.
Much as Sara made use of her distinctive appearance in the field when she wanted to be easily identified, it was only for particular occasions that she actually wore the coat her father had given her onto the grounds of military HQ. She had tried these past two years to establish her reputation as a State Alchemist, as Major Sara Elric, without relying on the name of her father to get her anywhere. Much as she loved him, and was personally proud when she heard her name referenced with her father's in a positive way, she wasn't him and she wanted her reputation and record to be her own. So when she had to report in officially but didn't really want to stand out she came in uniform.
So she looked nice and official today as she saluted Colonel Kane across his desk and handed him the written report she had finished up after arriving at HQ about an hour before. "The report on the rescue efforts in the village of Kolten."
Kane flipped it open and looked through it briefly. "Well done," he said. "I'll make sure this gets on up the chain as needed." Then he smiled. "I actually don't have anything for you on my desk at the moment, so enjoy a little down time while you're in Central okay?"
Sara smiled. "Yes, Sir."
"Don't know if anyone's mentioned," Kane commented as if just remembering himself. "There's a Dinner in a couple of weeks in honor of some law that just passed the Assembly about regulating road traffic or some such. No major dignitaries other than the usual diplomats, but," he shrugged. "You know how it is."
Sara did indeed. "Thanks for the warning," she chuckled. "Anything else you need from me, Kane?"
"Not today," he shook his head. "Consider this your orders to get a little R&R and enjoy yourself for a while. You know I'll call if you're needed."
"Right." Sara chuckled, saluted one more time, and headed back out of the office. Well, that had been quick enough. She wasn't quite ready to leave HQ though. It was only an hour or so until most of the folks she wanted to see broke for lunch, and she was hoping to catch up at least long enough to make plans. Also, knowing there was going to be one of those events coming – she knew she didn't technically have to go but she sort of felt obligated – she wanted to catch up with her usual best-friend date!
Sara took up the time by checking to see if there was anything official she needed to look at on her desk – the one that was almost always empty – and found nothing, as usual. She filed her own copy of her report in the one drawer she had and caught up on general gossip until lunch, then she headed up to Breda's offices and stuck her head in. Right on time it seemed.
"Welcome back, Sara," Kain Feury smiled and nodded politely as he ducked out past her.
There was a chorus of general greetings, "Hey Elric!" "What's up Twilight?" and the like from most of the younger staff, who knew her well enough after all her time spent running around HQ over the years. They filed out past her for the most part.
The one she wanted, of course, was the one who looked up, adjusted his glasses, and grinned broadly. "Sara! When did you get in?"
"Late last night," she chuckled. "You have time to catch up with a friend, or were you planning to work through lunch?"
"The thought had occurred to me," Franz teased, putting down his pen and getting up. It was then that Sara noticed an unfamiliar star.
"You didn't tell me you'd made First Lieutenant!" she mock-glared at him.
"You weren't here to tell," Franz countered, still smiling. "They keep you hopping don't they? Let's go."
The Mess Hall was as crowded as always, and the food as semi-appetizing and mostly-edible as usual. Sara and Franz swapped stories for nearly an hour, catching up on what was going on at HQ, with people they knew, and any word from their friends at Eastern Command.
"I stopped by there a few weeks back," Sara replied. "Lina says hi. So does everyone else of course," she shrugged. "Bors is up to his neck in girl trouble, as usual."
"Someday he's going to get into something he can't get out of," Franz sighed.
"Speaking of things we can't get out of," Sara laughed. "You're going to this dinner coming up right?"
Franz paused mid-bite, then nodded, not talking with his mouthful; a rare gentleman in the military!
"The usual survival plan then?" Sara suggested, grinning. They pretty much always went together; it saved them both from awkward social moments, and it was more fun that way anyway. It wasn't a date really, but it was better than going alone.
"I'd love to," Franz replied with an apologetic shake of his head. "But I've already asked someone else."
"What?" Sara was taken a little aback for a moment. That had never happened before. "Or rather, who?" she asked curiously.
Franz smiled. "Her name is Gina. We've been seeing each other for about a month, so it seemed natural." From the sounds of his voice, Sara could tell this wasn't one of those short term things so many guys in the military had; not necessarily madly truly in love or anything, but a definite infatuation.
"Well sure," Sara smiled immediately, stuffing her disappointment down so hard it was probably somewhere in her socks. "Of course you should. That's great. Sorry, I wouldn't have asked if I'd known."
"No need to apologize," Franz chuckled. "There was no reason you would have after two months in the field right? I hate to disappoint you though."
"It's okay," Sara shrugged. Okay no, it really wasn't, but Franz was her friend, not a romantic interest, much as she had daydreamed about that. She wasn't going to over-react; she was too mature. Really. "You should have fun with a real date," she chuckled, feigning cheerfulness.
"Thanks, Sara," Franz smiled. "It's nice to have a friend so understanding! So many guys I know have female friends who get uppity of they actually have a real date."
"I'll bet that's a real pain," Sara replied, wishing she could sink into the floor. Suddenly, her time off seemed a little less exciting. Of course they could still spend time together, and they would, but she had been hoping to finally tell him how she felt! There was no way she would do that when Franz was just starting to date someone else and was obviously very happy.
Sara would just go stag to the dinner. It wouldn't be the first time, and probably not the last. She knew most of the people at these things so she was sure she'd have a good time anyway. Sara figured she would convince herself eventually.
June 11th, 1948
"Just put that box by the couch," Sara told her father as she set hers down on the kitchen counter. It really hadn't taken long to box everything she owned and, over the past few days with her brothers' help she had gotten almost everything moved. Tonight though, her father had volunteered to help with the last few things. He had even insisted on stocking the fridge and pantry. "I'm not sure there's room in here for any more stuff," she chuckled as she started putting canned and dry goods in the pantry. "Doesn't it seem like a bit much for one person, Dad? Especially when I have no idea how long I'll even be in town."
"You'll probably have guests over," Ed pointed out as he joined her. "And knowing your friends, you'll want something to feed them! Besides," he chuckled. "You're looking a little underfed yourself."
Sara rolled her eyes, but she shrugged. "Everything was rationed on the last mission," she replied. "So many hungry people and so little getting in in the way of supplies until we got the roads cleared too. It's a lot of work."
"Hey, did I say it wasn't?" Her father shook his head and started helping her unload. "Believe me, I understand. Just remember," he grinned as he looked sideways toward her. "I know you too."
Sara half-smirked at him and looked at the food again. He had a point. She and her brothers ate almost as much as their father did when they were active. The amount of food in her parents' pantry was massive in comparison. "So you're really just trying to make sure I don't starve to death," she quipped.
"Pretty much," Ed laughed, though his smile was softer. "How are you really doing, kid?"
He didn't say anything more specific, but Sara knew what he meant at once. "It's tough," she admitted, leaning back against the counter. "I mean, I heard all your stories, but I never really appreciated just how much all this constantly going could really take out of you."
"Al used to get mad at me," Ed smiled. "I'd get sick, and I'd still be trying to get whatever we were doing finished. He practically had to tie me down to get me to take a break and rest."
"So really, nothing has changed," Sara teased.
"Nope," he agreed with a laugh and a shrug. "But he's always right, him and Winry both, at knowing when I'm pushing my limits, even when I'm too stubborn to admit it."
His smile told Sara well enough that he was just doing the same thing for her, because he loved her. She sighed and smiled back. "Thanks, Dad. Don't worry about me though. All I plan to do until Marcus calls me up with more work is take it easy and enjoy myself. At the moment, sleep tops that list hands down!"
"I noticed," Ed replied, referring to the fact that she hadn't crawled out of bed until breakfast once since she got home. Ed still got up early most days, at the time they both used to for morning work outs. "But don't feel bad about it. In our line of work, sleep's important!"
"Is that the savvy State Alchemist line of work, or the dog of the military line?" Sara quipped and started unloading things again, putting the last couple of items away.
"Both," Ed replied just as glibly. "It's too easy to run yourself ragged, and push too hard when there's work that needs doing and you know you're the one who should be doing it. But it's not always easy; especially not when we get involved in people's lives."
Sara nodded somberly. "This last one was tough," she admitted softly. "Not physically. Well, that too, it was a lot of labor but…it's hard to watch so many people lose everything that have, even families, and know that I get to come back to this cushy life in Central." She gestured around the small apartment which, at one time, she would never have considered much at all. Now though, her family home seemed almost a palace compared to what some people had, especially when they had lost everything. Sara always had somewhere to go home, where there would be family and a warm cooked meal and a soft bed. "There were so many kids orphaned," she added.
"So I heard," Ed replied. "I read the report." Well, that made sense; he was up in Breda's office half the time after all. He and Roy Mustang read a lot of the reports that came in from alchemists in the field. "Breda even cried."
"You're kidding," Sara commented giving him an odd look. "Why? My writing wasn't that bad was it?" she half-joked.
"No," Ed shook his head, and smiled. "He's just been kind of sensitive to the subject lately. He and Nancy have apparently been thinking about adopting."
"President Breda wants kids?" Well, Sara guessed she couldn't really see a reason why not, but the man – kind of like Jean Havoc – had been a bachelor for most of Sara's life. She'd just kind of figured if they had wanted kids they'd have settled down earlier. Only more recently had she begun to really realize what career officer could really entail.
"It's a little late to do it the old fashioned way," Ed shrugged, sounding clearly sympathetic.
Sara nodded. Then she had an idea. "Well, maybe I'm being presumptuous," she said as the thought formed into something more solid. She went into the living room and opened a box. Recently packed, it was the one with most of the things she carried when she traveled. She heard her father's footsteps behind her as she stood up and turned, offering him a slightly bent photo. "Show him this one for me?" It was of her and two of the kids she had met up there: a little redheaded girl and a strawberry blond infant. "Charisa's three, and her little brother Niam's only eight months old. Their parents both died in the landslide and they don't have any other living family. I think…I think that they might be a good fit."
Sara watched her father's pained expression as he took the picture and looked down at the two little kids in it. He looked like he might cry himself. "I will," was all he said in reply. He put the photo in his pocket. "So, is that everything?"
"Yep," Sara nodded looking around, glad for the change of topic. She was getting misty-eyed! "Looks like I'm all moved. Though," she admitted, looking at him. "It feels kind of strange to actually move out, even though this place is almost as much home to me, and I know that I could go downstairs most of the time and catch Mom, or maybe Aldon…at least until he leaves." That was just as strange, to consider her little brother going all the way up to Briggs within a month and a half! And taking his girlfriend too.
"You'll get used to it," Ed put an arm around her shoulder and gave her a short squeeze. "And there will always be room for you at the house too, you know that, and I'm always available when you want to talk. It can be difficult to find people who understand what we do and what it's really like."
Sara almost blurted out to him right there her insecurities and her disappointment in regards to Franz, but she didn't. That was something she could deal with on her own; not worth babbling about to her Dad. Especially not when the two men crossed paths regularly and were actually on reasonably friendly terms now. "Thanks, Dad. I'll take you up on that sometime."
June 23rd, 1948
The State Dinner – Sara was so glad they only happened a few times a year, and she had missed most of them for the last two – was a smaller affair than some she had attended, mostly Amestrians, which was kind of nice. Much as Sara enjoyed meeting new people, sometimes it was nice to deal with mostly familiar faces. Especially tonight, when she hadn't brought someone pre-planned for conversation.
Sara had dressed in her favorite – okay, so it was one of only two that she owned – gowns, noting with some consternation that it was a little loose on her. Her father had this habit of being right sometimes that she found annoying and amusing at the same time given how often Mom caught him in the wrong. Still, it looked good, and she felt pretty good. If nothing else, it was a change of pace.
She chatted with several friends, sipped a glass of wine, and was actually enjoying herself until she caught sight of Franz Heimler and his new girlfriend. She was actually curious to get a look at the girl. Gina was everything Sara had privately, however vindictive it seemed in her head, hoped she wasn't. She was tall, almost the same height as Franz, willowy aside from a rather nicely proportioned chest, with hair that was nearly jet-black and fell in soft ringlets, ending just below the shoulders. Beautiful, elegant, and graceful; Sara felt like a duck.
Sara spent a good bit of the evening avoiding them, but trying not to seem like it. Franz introduced them, and she smiled and said hello and was her usual mostly-pleasant self, but afterwards she just tried to not be where ever they were. It wasn't too difficult since they talked quietly amongst themselves quite a bit. No, Franz was clearly smitten, and she didn't want to ruin his good time or his relationship. Gina seemed nice enough.
"Good evening, Sara," a female voice said from behind her, and Sara turned to find herself looking at Nancy Breda, who was smiling at her. "I'm so glad you could attend this evening."
"Thank you, Mrs. Breda," Sara smiled politely, a little flustered, but pleased too. She was curious though as to why she was getting singled out tonight given the swarms of people who obviously wanted the woman's attention. Or perhaps that was why.
"I just wanted to thank you in person," Nancy smiled warmly.
"Thank me?" Sara tried not to scowl, but she was confused.
Nancy chuckled. "For the photograph. Edward gave it to Heymans, and he was enraptured at once. He wants to go up and meet those sweet children as soon as possible. He'd have harried off up there immediately if we could have been up there and back in time for this." She gestured to the room, indicating the event.
Sara understood then, and her mood brightened. "You're welcome, Ma'am. Charisa and Niam are darling little kids. I hated to leave them, really." Charisa had clung to her for hours at a time when Sara hadn't made her let go, and Niam had always quieted down in her arms.
"The travel arrangements have already been made," Nancy smiled and nodded. "I'm as excited to meet them as my husband is. Well," she sighed. "I should move on. The vultures are circling."
Sara managed not to giggle too loudly. "So they are. Have a lovely evening, Mrs. Breda."
That conversation was the high point of the evening. It wasn't even that late when Sara's mood turned downward again. Dinner over and the primary mingling completed, the almost obligatory dancing began, and she had to watch Franz and Gina dance almost every dance together. Sara probably could have cut in and danced with her friend, but for some reason the idea made her uncomfortable so she resolved herself to watching, and took a couple of turns with other friends – both soldiers she happened to know – and then stood off to the side.
"Hey, Twilight, care to dance?" Maes Mustang chuckled as he joined her.
"Well, good evening, Firebrand." Sara's mouth quirked into a small wry smile. Maes had passed the State Exam just that March. The name suited him, she thought, even in its irony. Much of a flirt as Maes was, he wasn't really much of a troublemaker unless you were the guy whose girlfriend was swooning over the Firebrand Alchemist! "Sure," she set down her glass. "Why not?"
"Gee thanks for the favor," Maes smirked as he took her hand and they moved out into the dance floor. "You could at least act like you're having fun."
"What makes you think I'm not?" Sara asked, frowning slightly. "I just haven't felt like dancing much. It's been a pretty exhausting couple of months."
"So I heard," Maes replied, spinning her as they danced. It was a fairly slow number, so conversation wasn't difficult. Behind him, Sara caught a glimpse of Franz and Gina, and quickly refocused her attention on her dance partner's face. "You're not handling it well you know," he commented after a couple of minutes.
Sara gave him a confused scowl. "What do you mean?"
"I mean," Maes quipped wryly, "That I can almost see the jealousy steaming out your ears.
Sara's face went red. He was talking about Franz! "I don't know what you're talking about."
"Don't try and pull that with me, Elric," Maes rolled his eyes. "I know you remember? You like Franz Heimler, it's not like it's a surprise."
"And just how do you know that?" The last thing Sara needed was Maes sticking his nose in her private business. How had he figured it out anyway?
"It's pretty hard to miss," Maes snorted. "You don't have the right to be mad you know. It's not like you ever told him you were interested in him right?"
"We're supposed to be dancing," Sara replied, dodging the question. Of course she hadn't, but it wasn't any of Maes' damned business! They were friends, of course, but that didn't give him a right to the thoughts she hadn't even shared with Aldon, or her parents, or anyone else.
"We are," Maes countered, spinning to make the point. "If you had said something, you'd either be the one over there dancing with him, or having a better time instead of standing alone drinking wine all evening."
"I wasn't just-"
"You've already had two glasses, Sara," Maes cut her off, and met her fuming gaze evenly. Damn he was infuriating tonight! "Besides, it's not fair to be interested in someone and not tell them and still expect them to notice, which you seem to."
"What would you know about it, Maes?" She tried to pull away, but his arm firm on her back, the other hand in his, made it impossible for the moment without causing a public scene. This was too much! She wasn't ready to talk about it yet, not with anyone!
"I know I'm getting sick of watching you moon after this guy and not do anything about it!" he replied, his tone actually getting a little softer. "You're not the indecisive type."
"And you're so decisive. You've got a new girl every time I turn around," Sara retorted irritably. As if he was one to talk! "Never anything serious at all."
"You want to know why?" Maes' expression darkened; a deep V forming between his eyes. "Because for years I've been waiting for the same damned thing; waiting for you to make a decision and either tell Franz you like him or give up."
Sara sighed. "And what does it matter to you?" Why the heck did Maes care about her stupid little crush anyway?
Apparently, it was the wrong thing to say. "You are so dense sometimes, Sara, you know that?" Maes frowned. His voice grew softer, a little more plaintive as he looked into her eyes. They had slowed to a stop with the end of the song. "I like you, a lot. I have for a long time now, but how do you say that to someone who treats you like a best friend, almost like a brother, and is obviously interested in someone else?"
His words hit her with surprising force. So simple and yet…Maes liked her? It was a revelation she wasn't prepared for. "How long?" she asked, staring up at him.
Maes looked more than a little embarrassed. "Years," he admitted softly. "We've always been so close and it just kind of happened."
Years. He'd been interested in her for years and never said anything? "And you're just telling me this now?" She stared at him. "Great timing too," she replied, the words more biting than she'd intended. "Telling me I'm being stupid for mooning over someone without saying something and you've been doing the same damn thing!"
There was a flash of hurt anger in Maes' eyes. "I'm trying to remedy that!"
"You're not here alone tonight," Sara reminded him, a bitter sharpness in her words. She knew for a fact Maes had brought a date tonight. She'd seen him flirting with other girls too. "So why should I take you seriously?"
"Damn it, Sara!" Maes snapped. "I told you why."
"Well sometimes actions speak louder than words, Maes," Sara pulled back from him and stalked off the dance floor, fuming and hurt. What the hell was he up to? Was this some stupid game?
"Sara wait!" He called after her, but she kept walking.
So much for a good night. How dare Maes even try and tell her that her staying out of Franz's way was unfair to Franz, and here he was trying to insist that he was interested? Well, maybe he was, but if so, he damned well could have said something earlier! How was she supposed to trust that he wasn't just trying to get Franz out of the way either? Tears burned in her eyes.
"Damn it, Elric!"
She squeaked as Maes had the audacity to actually grab her arm and spin her around. "What do you think you're doing?"
"Not letting you walk away without finishing this!" He countered, and Sara was sure she'd never seen him so angry. "You want to know why I didn't say anything before? Two words: Mars Leighton. You had a boyfriend! What was I supposed to do? Get in the way? Then as soon as he was gone and I thought I had a shot, you're all moon-eyed over this Officer and you're a State Alchemist and I'm still a damned kid!" He was shouting now. "I've been patient, damn it. Waiting, hoping, but you're one of the most frustrating women I know! I thought I was doing the right thing staying out of the way, but you totally didn't take any of the chances you had to tell him how you felt. What was I supposed to do, wait the rest of my life?"
Sara's head was spinning, and her temper was frayed. She yanked her arm out of Maes' grip; it took two tries. "Well this wasn't exactly the most opportune moment," she glared up at him through a teary haze that just made her feel stupid and made her madder. "We're friends. You of all people had the right to say something. No, hell, you should have said something earlier!" she shouted and spun on her heel again. Maes tried to grab her again but she eluded his hand. "Don't touch me, Mustang!" she snapped as she headed for the door as fast as she dared. This party was over as far as she was concerned.
Edward was talking with Alphonse and Elicia when he heard shouting. He turned around in time to see what appeared to be the last few seconds of a very heated fight. His eyes widened as he watched Sara storm out of the building, and a surprisingly irate Maes Mustang standing stunned, then stalk off in another direction entirely. There was a side exit that way, Ed remembered. "Damn," he said softly.
"That can't have been good," Al agreed, looking worried.
Ed looked around, but didn't see Roy in the immediate vicinity. "I'm going to find Roy," he said. "Excuse me."
"Of course," Elicia replied as Ed slipped away from them and made his way through the crowds. There had been a long quiet moment at the end, but the murmur of conversation picked up again, though Ed knew the buzz – a lot of them would want to know what had happened.
Roy was in the next room, another large one, talking with a couple of assemblymen and looking rather bored.
"Mustang," Ed interrupted without preamble. "We need to talk."
Roy glanced over at him and looked irritated, then sighed and excused himself from his conversation. "What is it?" He asked when Ed pulled him off to the side, though he sounded much less annoyed now that he wasn't stuck in the other conversation.
"Meltdown," Ed replied seriously. "You'd better have a talk with Maes. He and Sara just had a major blow-up in the ballroom."
The shock on Roy's face matched how Ed felt. "What happened?"
Ed shrugged. "I only heard the last of it, but my guess is he played his hand, and badly."
"Hell," Roy muttered. They both knew about Maes' crush on Ed's daughter; had for years. Since Sara had never showed any interest in response, Ed knew that Roy hadn't expected this kind of scene any more than he had. "I'll go find him." Roy headed off as Ed gestured in the direction he'd gone, then Ed went back into the ballroom to find Winry. Chasing Sara down when she was that steamed was not a good idea. All it would end up in was another argument, and Ed didn't want to have to be the responsible one keeping his temper. He would drop by her place in the morning and check on her.
Roy was more worried than he wanted to admit when he couldn't find Maes anywhere in the building. If it had been Roy, even after an argument he'd probably have had a glass of wine, calmed down, and gone back to his date – when he was younger of course – but the girl Maes had come with had been looking more than a little contrite when Roy spotted her first, and was dancing with some Lieutenant when he left the building and headed for the house, hoping his son had enough sense to at least go home, since he obviously wasn't capable of keeping a personal issue private!
He stifled his own frustrations as he made his way home. He hoped Ed thought to inform Riza of what had happened. Roy hadn't taken the time to find her in his search for their son. When he got home, there was a light on in Maes' room. He could see that from outside. Feeling mildly relieved, though still more than a little pissed, Roy made his way inside and upstairs.
Really, he was concerned. Maes was normally a mature, responsible young man; he'd never been a lick of trouble growing up – thanks to Riza, Roy thought. He was smart, talented, handsome – a lot like Roy – but usually much more patient. He was also a little more emotionally sensitive; a luxury Roy had not allowed himself to indulge in since before the Ishbal Massacre. Whether that was a flaw on Roy's part, or on Maes', he really wasn't sure.
Roy knocked on Maes' door. "You in there?" he asked.
"Go away, Dad," a muffled reply came from inside.
"Let me in, Maes," Roy sighed. Annoyed as he was, he wasn't here to pick a fight. He just wanted to know what the hell had happened!
"No."
Stupid, stubborn… "Can we talk?"
"Request denied, General."
This was getting nowhere fast. Riza really was better at this than he was; he was beginning to wish Ed had found her first. He sighed and went back downstairs.
Sara felt mildly better after a hot shower and changing out of formals into loose dark gray cotton pants and a lighter gray cut-off tank she often wore around the house, or when she was working out at home. She had walked back to the apartment and slammed the door, fuming the whole time about the impertinence and audacity of Maes Mustang! Now, she just felt drained. Could tonight have been worse? Franz with a girlfriend, Maes – of all people – professing interest! That was just too weird, and it made her feel funny. Not in a good way either. She was mad at him for the bad timing, for not telling her earlier, but what bugged her most was that she wasn't entirely sure how she felt about his declaration. Sara didn't feel flattered, or amused, or anything other than frustrated and confused.
Well, Sara decided, she was just going to have to put it out of her mind for a while and calm down, or she'd never get to sleep tonight. She put on water for tea, grabbed a book to distract her, and dropped down on the couch. No sooner had she opened the cover when there was a knock at the door.
Who could that be? Sara sighed and contemplated not answering it. It was probably her Dad, or maybe Mom. She stiffened at the idea that maybe Maes had followed her home and wanted to talk. They were friends – or at least, they had been, she wasn't sure where this put them right now – but right now she really wasn't sure how to respond to him.
The knock came again. It didn't sound like either of her parents, or Maes for that matter. Sara got up and went to the door and opened it, her eyes going wide when she saw who was actually standing at the top of her stairs. "Mars?"
Mars Leighton grinned at her. Even though his hair was a little longer, and he had at least a day's growth of scruff on his chin, and he looked a little heavier than she remembered, she would never mistake that face. "Hey, Sara. Surprise!"
"I'll say," Sara replied, stunned, but she relaxed a little. At least it was a friendly face, and not someone she'd have to have serious conversation with. "What are you doing in town?"
"Working technically," Mars laughed as she stepped out of the way and let him in. He was wearing jeans, a red shirt and a black jacket. "One of my professors offered me a bit of summer work if I came on this trip with him. Of course I jumped at the opportunity," he grinned and grabbed her in an impulsive hug. "When I found out we'd be coming through Central that just made it better. I'm so glad you're here! I called your house to see if you were home, and Aldon said you'd gotten your own space. Admittedly, I figured I'd be waiting for you when he said you were at some state function tonight."
"It wasn't much fun," Sara forced herself to sound casual as she hugged him back, though she kept it short. After earlier, she just wasn't really in the mood for close contact. She stepped back, still smiling though. This evening wasn't Mars' fault. The timing was just bad in general. "You want tea?" she offered as the pot began to whistle.
"That'd be great," Mars chuckled as he sat down on the couch. "This is a nice little set-up," he complimented as Sara went into the kitchen and poured them both cups of tea, then added sugar to both – she remembered how Mars liked his.
"Thanks to my parents," Sara chuckled, coming back in and handing him a cup. "It's nice to have some real privacy, and it's so much closer to HQ than the house." The walk took about a quarter of the time, and that gave her time in the morning to do other things without feeling rushed. She had no need for a car, which she couldn't afford anyway. "So what have you been up to Mars," she asked as she sat down next to him. "You haven't written me in months," she pointed out with a smirk.
Mars had the good grace to look embarrassed. "I've been kind of distracted," he admitted. "Classes were a bear this last semester, and life got kind of busy. You know how it is."
"I do," Sara nodded. She didn't write that often either, but at least she did. It was usually a pleasant surprise if she came home to find a letter from Mars in her mailbox anymore. It was sweet of him to drop in like this though. "This is the longest I've been home in a while. Keeping up with much of anyone and anything is pretty difficult when I never see them." She set her tea down on the table.
Something must have tipped him off that she was down - of course, Mars had always been pretty good at reading her moods – because he gave her a sympathetic smile. "Sounds pretty lonely." His hand went to her chin, tilting it up gently so she was looking into his dark eyes. That familiar gaze was a friendly, non-threatening expression. She knew where she stood with Mars.
"It is," she replied softly.
"Then maybe I can fix that," Mars tone was surprisingly soft and, before she could think, he pressed his lips to hers.
Sara hesitated momentarily, but the familiar warmth, the safe haven of his arms as he pulled her in closer were a tempting distraction from the confusion and chaos that still raged in her mind and the logical part of her brain telling her that this was not the right move. She ignored it and kissed him back. They weren't a couple anymore, they hadn't been in three years, but that didn't mean she couldn't kiss him!
Apparently her willingness was the response Mars had been hoping for, and Sara gave in to the need for contact with someone who didn't confuse her! It was just an innocent kiss at first, though she didn't complain when it deepened, and he held her firmly against him as he leaned back against the edge of the couch, Sara leaning into his chest. It wasn't the same as the last time they had kissed – which was the last time she had been kissed at all. Mars was a little more aggressive, more heated, but it was a refreshing and not unpleasant change.
Sara wrapped her arms around his neck, not objecting as his hands slid lightly down her back. His smell was different too; a more Cretan scent, and taste; a little exotic.
One of his hands rubbed the small of her back, then slipped down to her waist, and then under the band of her sweats. They slipped a little lower, and his fingers nudged the hem of her underwear down.
The warning alarm went off in Sara's mind like a siren! She jerked upright, breaking the kiss and leaping to her feet, staring down at Mars, the mix of confusion and fury that had surged through her clear on her face based on how quickly his expression went from startled to fear. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" What was he thinking?
Mars' expression went from fearful to angry consternation as he sat up. "I didn't hear you complaining," he frowned.
"You didn't exactly give me any warning!" Sara yelled at him. Mars of all people? She'd thought better of him. "And since when do you have the right, Mars Leighton, to make that kind of assumption about my intentions? We're not even dating. That was over three years ago, on your agreement!"
"So why did you kiss me?" Mars asked, standing up and forcing her to look up at him if she wanted to keep yelling. It just made her madder.
"Because," ah hell! Tears were coming to her eyes again. She hated that. The words came out in a torrent. "Because I…I'm confused, and hurt, and mad, and I've had the worst night of my life, and then you were here and I was thinking here, here is someone I can trust, who isn't going to mess with my head… and it felt good, and familiar, and nice and then… then you have the audacity to think that just because I'm willing to kiss you means I'm going to let you into my bed?" She felt hysterical, over-whelmed, and more than seriously disappointed in the boy she used to like. Mars would never have tried something like that when he left. "You've changed. You're not who I thought you were, and you've just succeeded in completely ruining what was already a miserable night, thank you so very much!" She shoved him hard with both hands, and was actually startled when he moved back a step. "What kind of a whore do you think I am?"
Apparently, Mars was startled too. His eyes were wide as he took a couple of steps backwards. "It wasn't like that…." He stammered. "I just, thought maybe we could, you know, try again. I've missed you, Sara."
This was not happening. Really, it was too much. Was this all some kind of cosmic joke? Franz, then Maes, and now Mars? Sara shook her head. "You've been in Pylos, and you'll be going back there and who knows when we'd see each other again. Nothing's changed since you left Mars, except that I'm never here either now. That's why we agreed it was over in the first place, remember? No long-term forever, no tears, just friends. I know you aren't going to give up your dreams, and I'm not giving up my work either. There is no us anymore; not like that."
"I'd come back here if you wanted me," Mars replied, and Sara was amazed, and actually a little afraid, to hear those words come out of his mouth. He looked suddenly defeated, lost.
"Are you insane?" Sara asked, losing momentum at the change. That was not a face she had seen on Mars in a very long time; not since they had first started really talking. What was wrong with him?
"Things haven't been…great," Mars admitted, averting his eyes. "Not for a while. I, hell, nothing's been right since I left you. It just took me a while to figure it out."
"So what are you saying?" Sara asked, hoping desperately that it wasn't what she thought.
Mars looked back up at her with a sad hope in his eyes that broke her heart. "I'm in love with you, Sara."
Yes, it had to be some cruel cosmic joke. Sara looked away and shook her head as she tried not to lose it at him completely. This wasn't the Mars she knew, and while she still felt very strongly about him, she knew it wasn't love on her part, and it never would be. Aside from tonight's foolish earlier thought that he might be a much needed distraction from her already overwhelming male problems, she hadn't even missed the physical part of their relationship. "I'm sorry, Mars," she replied. "Please, just go."
"But Sara I-"
"Go!" she glared back up at him through her tears. "I can't handle this right now."
Mars looked like he wanted to argue it further, but he didn't. He seemed to make up his mind about something as she watched. "Okay then." He stepped backwards towards the door. "I'm sorry to have bothered you." Then he turned and left; the door thumping shut behind him.
It was several silent seconds before the complete emotional overload kicked in.
June 24th, 1948
Edward was concerned about Sara all night, but he kept good to his plan to just let her be. A good night's sleep would hopefully set things to rights and, when she was feeling more reasonable, he was sure the whole thing would just blow over. Sara didn't hold a grudge, and neither did Maes. They were both reasonable most of the time, and they were friends; they'd work it out, however things turned out.
In the morning, Ed got up, waited until a reasonable hour and then went over to the apartment. He knocked on the door and waited a minute but heard nothing inside. Out of habit, he tried the door, and was a little surprised when it actually came open in his hand. It wasn't locked.
"Sara, you home?" he called out as he poked his head inside and looked around. She didn't respond, but then, she didn't have to. Ed spotted her immediately, and his heart ached at the sight.
Sara was sprawled out on the couch, face towards the door, out cold, sleeping with her mouth open – a trait Winry insisted she got from Ed. On the floor was an empty pint of cookie dough ice cream, a few drips slowly sinking into the throw rug, and a half-empty bottle of cream liquor stood on the table.
"Oh, baby girl," Ed sighed. Either he had drastically underestimated how worn out Sara really was, or last night had been a lot more emotional than he had realized. Either way, it had obviously been too much; this was not her typical behavior.
There were two half-empty cups of tea on the table too he noticed. She'd had company? Ed was sure he'd get the story eventually, but for now he didn't want to wake her, even if it meant being a little late in to work. He placed a quiet call to Al, letting him know he'd be in late, and picked up the tea cups and washed them. He had just put on coffee when he heard a soft groan emanate from the living room.
"Morning," was all he said as he walked back into the room.
Sara slowly opened one eye, winced, then opened the other, and they focused on him. "Daddy?" Now he knew she was out of it. She almost never called him that anymore.
"You seemed pretty upset last night," Ed explained. "I just planned to drop by and see how you were holding up."
He didn't have to say anything more, Sara's face flushed red and she sat up quickly, wincing as she did so. "Can we just pretend you came over, found me in a great mood, and left?" she asked with a sigh, resting her head in her hands.
"I don't think so," Ed shook his head, and smiled sympathetically as he sat down on the couch next to her. "Too much to drink?"
"Too much ice cream," Sara shook her head, but offered him a weak smile in return. "Though that didn't help." She still looked embarrassed. "It wasn't full when I started," she added defensively. "I had friends over the other night."
"Hey, I didn't ask for an explanation now, did I?" Ed asked, keeping his manner relaxed. The last thing Sara needed was more stress. Still, it was always kind of nice to know his daughter was still as responsible as always.
Sara sighed and worried her lip with her teeth, the same way Winry did sometimes when she was upset or worried. "I feel like an idiot. I'm sorry I lost last night. Everybody probably heard us."
"Not everyone," Ed countered. "But a lot of people did, yes. Do you want to talk about it?"
"No…yes…oh I don't know!" Sara wailed, leaning back into the back cushions of the couch and looking up at the ceiling. "It's just all so confusing."
"Is this about Maes?" Ed asked, not wanting to push to hard, but he knew her. Just like him, it took a little prodding to get things out even when you really wanted to talk something over and figure it out.
"If it were just him, this might be easier," Sara replied, and Ed noticed her eyes were wet. "I just… don't know what's wrong with me. I was standing there, and then Maes asked me to dance, and he got mad at me because of Franz and he admitted that apparently he's been interested in me for years and just never said anything. As if watching him flirt with other girls would be a dead give away," she snorted, venting. Ed didn't interrupt. "And then I got mad, and you heard the rest of it I'm sure, and then I came home, and then Mars showed up and –"
"Wait. Mars?" Ed couldn't keep his mouth shut. "Mars Leighton was here last night?"
"He just got into town," Sara nodded. "So he thought he'd drop by and surprise me. It was okay at first but then he just kind of kissed me and I, well I was all confused and stressed out and it seemed like a good idea at the time and we…"
"What?" Damn it, he'd interrupted again, but Ed really wasn't sure he liked where this was going. It sounded like a royal mess to begin with and if Mars had laid one hand where it didn't belong he was going to go find the boy and the discussion would not involve words!
"We were on the couch," Sara sighed and grimaced. "And then he tried something and I got pissed at him and called him on it and he told me he was in love with me of all things! Two guys in one night; I must be the unluckiest woman in the history of Amestris. I mean really."
Ed's temper settled back down from boiling to a simmer. Nothing had happened. He wasn't going to go killing anybody today, at least not yet. Besides, Sara was long grown. It wasn't like he could really just go getting involved in her business anymore than she wanted him there; in theory. "And here I thought that was some girls' dream," he commented glibly.
Sara glared at him, but at least she wasn't ranting anymore. There were tears in her eyes though, and from the looks of her face, she'd shed more than her share of them last night already. "Only if it's someone you want, Dad."
"I see." Ed stood up as he heard the pot going off. "So you're not interested in Maes Mustang or Mars Leighton," he asked as he went into the little kitchen and poured them both cups of coffee, adding plenty of sugar to both, and cream to Sara's.
"Not that it's any of your business," Sara grumbled. "They're not the one I want or at least, thought I wanted."
When Ed came back into the room, Sara's expression had softened. He handed her the cup without a word and sat back down. "I saw Gina," he did comment softly then. While Sara had never admitted her feelings for Franz Heimler outright, at least, not to him or Winry, it had always been pretty obvious to him ever since Sara was fourteen. Obviously, those feelings had not gone away over the years. "You're doing the right thing though. At least I think you are."
"What do you know about it?" Sara asked, and it wasn't sarcastic, she was clearly honestly wondering.
"You're lousy at hiding your feelings from me," Ed admitted with a shrug. "It wasn't hard to figure out you still like Franz, or see why." The man had been in Breda's offices for about three years now, and Ed had gotten to know him fairly well. Really, at this point he would have had no objections to Franz dating his daughter, but it looked like that wasn't happening. "Last night was pretty rough on you."
"To put it mildly," Sara grumbled and sipped her coffee. "I know I'm not in love with Mars, but I do care about him, and I'm not sure how to fix that. Franz well… I don't know, but I may never find out, and Maes…. Maes just confuses and frustrates the hell out of me lately!"
"He's a Mustang," Ed chuckled. "That comes with the territory." He shook his head and sipped his coffee. "It's not a new story though, a guy falling in love with his childhood best friend. Easy to do when she's a pretty girl."
Sara looked at him and sighed. "If you start making comparisons between yourself and Maes Mustang, it really is the end of the world." She drank again.
"I'm not saying the story has to end the same way," Ed shrugged, trying to give her a little perspective if nothing else. "Or even that it should. You're the only one who can figure out how you really feel about anybody. I guess I'm just saying consider it from all sides and try not to make a snap decision."
"Words of experience," Sara smirked, though she still looked tired, frustrated.
"I know I overreacted last night, but Maes caught me entirely off guard, and it was like he was trying to pry into my private business."
"Things don't have to be settled in a day," Ed pointed out. "Guys don't give up easily, even when we probably should."
"Thanks for coming by this morning, Dad," Sara sighed and leaned against him.
Ed smiled and put his arm around her shoulders. "I thought you might need a little company."
"Or at least the coffee," Sara chuckled softly. "Though I think my friends over at HQ would laugh at me."
"What for?" Ed asked, not sure what rabbit trail her mind had just run off on.
Sara gestured to the bottle of cream liquor – on the other side of the Gate, Ed knew it as Irish Cream – and laughed. "Two drinks and I was out. I am such a lightweight."
"That's probably a good thing," Ed couldn't help chuckling.
"I should really get dressed and get moving," Sara rubbed her eyes and finished her coffee in one long swallow. "I've got some errands that need running that I've been putting off."
"Want some company?" Ed offered. He could be later if need be. Today was mostly paperwork on his part, and nothing that was time sensitive.
Sara chuckled. "Somehow I don't think you want to go underwear shopping with me, Dad."
"Oh." No, he definitely wasn't needed for that. Ed laughed and got up. "You're right. I'll get going then. I'm sure Al will be pleased not to have to do my paperwork. You sure you're all right?"
"No," Sara replied honestly. "But I'm better than I was last night."
Well, that was a start.
Sara was still a little groggy by the time she walked from the apartment into downtown Central. Though she couldn't help but think that her father was right; it was a good thing it didn't take much to knock her out. If she had drained that bottle like she'd intended, she would have been too sick this morning to crawl off the couch let alone do anything else. A dull headache and a sour stomach from too much sugar was a much preferable way to suffer!
She hit the department store first where her family had shopped for years. It was affordable, which was critical in keeping a family with three children properly clothed. Of course, Ethan had inherited some of Aldon's old clothes, but hand-me-downs only went so far.
Her own supply of clothing was, Sara had to admit, starting to wear a little thin. Her good clothes rarely got touched hanging in her closet, but the every day items got worn out pretty fast with all the work she put them through. She picked up underwear, a couple of bras, and a couple of new shirts. She had two that hadn't survived her last mission. Some of the others were looking a little worn too. She grabbed an extra couple of tank tops and another pair of pants just to be on the safe side, an extra package of ties for her hair, and then remembered she was out of soap, shampoo, and her socks were getting a little pathetic too.
With one large bag over her arm, Sara headed out of the store, trying to think if there was anything else she needed. She preferred making minimal shopping trips. Downtown was a fun place, where she remembered a lot of good times. The movie theater was here – there were actually two now – and the little place where she and her friends had often stopped for milkshakes or ice cream.
Sara blinked as she glanced over at the Soda Shoppe. Sitting outside at what used to be their usual table was Mars. She paused, her stomach knotting at the sight of him. She had been so excited when he first showed up at her door, but the rest of the evening had not gone anywhere near the way she might have hoped. Still, she supposed she owed him an apology. She still cared about her friend and she didn't want to leave him with hurt feelings. It wasn't like he'd tried to press the issue, and she had been pretty into their impromptu make-out session until that point.
Mars hadn't seen her as she approached, but she watched him finish off a milkshake. The waiter came and took the glass away. A minute later, he was back with another one. After several moments of indecision, Sara screwed up her courage and crossed the street.
"I didn't expect to run into you," she commented softly as she walked up.
Mars jumped then turned slightly to glance at her. When she didn't snap at him, he seemed to relax a little. "Just enjoying fond memories," he shrugged and grinned, gesturing with his straw at the shake in front of him. "They just don't make them like this in Creta."
"I guess not," Sara chuckled, glad he hadn't freaked out on her. She knew her father was right. Things didn't have to be sorted out in a day, but she needed to talk to him, to make him understand how she felt, especially when both of them would be off and gone in a few days. "Isn't it a little early though? It's barely lunch time."
"Well it was a little early in the day to be drunk in a bar. Tried that route, didn't work well. These are safer," Mars shrugged. "Care to join me?"
"I thought you'd put on a little weight," Sara half-joked as she took the seat across from him. In daylight, and now that she was actually paying attention, he'd definitely gained a few pounds.
"Well I have been sitting here for almost an hour." It was a weak attempt at humor on his part, and he seemed to realize it. He sighed and sipped his shake.
This was not the Mars Leighton Sara remembered, or even the one in his letters. Something had obviously happened at some point that he had purposefully left out. That meant it couldn't have been good. "And how many shakes can one man consume in an hour?" she quipped.
"Three," Mars chuckled, "If he's not trying too hard."
Sara offered a teasing smile she didn't fully feel. "Then I'm afraid, sir, that I'll have to cut you off." She snatched his shake with one hand before he had time to react; her reactions times were much faster than they used to be, and his apparently slower. "You know," she shook her head. "That heavy drinking'll kill you."
Mars smirked, but at least he looked a little less pathetic. "And what about you?"
"I think I'll be okay, I'm tough," Sara smiled and sipped it pointedly. "Besides, Dad keeps hinting I look like I'm half-starved. A few milkshakes might do me some good."
"It's better than the alternative," Mars sighed.
Sara hated this. There was no reason for them to be awkward, distant. Okay, there was, but last night shouldn't have happened the way it did. "Mars I wanted to apologize for last night," she admitted finally. "I'm still mad about what you tried to do but, well, I over-reacted."
"No," Mars shook his head, and averted his eyes. "You were right, Sara. I didn't even think about it. I just reacted instead of thinking about what I was doing."
"Or who with," Sara added. "Oh look at me, Mars. I'm not going to yell at you again today; at least, not about this." Who knew what he might say later.
"I'm sorry too," he did look up and meet her eyes this time. "Apparently I have atrocious timing."
"It could have been better," Sara admitted. "But it's not really your fault, and I was already frustrated and upset. That doesn't mean I should have taken any of that out on you or used you as a distraction."
"So you're just saying I almost took advantage of a girl while she was vulnerable. Great," Mars replied, sarcasm evident in the last word.
"More like we both almost took advantage of each other," Sara shook her head. "I shouldn't have kissed you at all, Mars. We're not a couple anymore. I had no way of knowing if you're actually available, and I didn't know going further than that had been considered as an option." If she had, she wouldn't have touched him at all.
At that, Mars actually looked embarrassed. "I wasn't thinking," he repeated softly.
Sara sighed. "You've changed, and I'm trying to understand why. There's something that you can't have told me about, and even if what you said last night is true, what I said is too. But I don't want to lose our friendship."
"You may not like me much when I'm finished," Mars sighed, eyeing the milkshake. Sara put one hand on it and Mars' mouth twitched.
"I'll be the judge of that," Sara replied quietly. At this point, it was a story she wasn't going to let him get away with not telling!
Mars sat quietly for several long seconds before he gathered the courage to speak. "You remember last year. Well, almost two years really. I mentioned a girl named Lisa?"
"Sure," Sara nodded. "How could I forget? There were two whole paragraphs about her. You broke up later right?"
"That's not the whole story," Mars admitted. "We started going out late in the fall. It was great. Then, mid-winter things got serious." From his tone, Sara didn't need to ask what he meant by serious. Apparently though, he didn't feel comfortable telling her straight out that they'd been sleeping together. Funny hang up to have after last night. "So she moved into my place in the spring." Well, that was news. Mars had definitely neglected to mention that part before.
Sara knew that, somewhere in this story, the break up was coming. He had never mentioned details, just that he and Lisa weren't seeing each other anymore. Slowly, agonizingly, he recounted some of their relationship, until he got to the end of the school year. "Then a couple of days before we got out for break she just up and told me she was moving to the capitol, wouldn't be back; so long and thanks for the fling." By the end, his tone was bitter, and the anger he must have felt was clear. "She played me like a frickin' violin and then just up and left."
"Oh Mars," Sara couldn't help but feel for him. Talk about a lousy thing to do to someone. No, lousy didn't even begin to cover it. "That bitch!"
"You're too kind," Mars snorted. "Anyway, that's where I just get more pathetic. I spent the entire summer too drunk to walk myself home; no exaggeration, really. I'll give you addresses and you can write my friends in Pylos and ask. I'm a pretty cheap drunk too. Sobered up after I bombed my first project in the fall, decided that something to substitute for booze might be good." He smiled wistfully. "I was missing you a lot at the time; couldn't help but remember all our conversations here."
Hence the milkshakes. Sara sighed. "So should I feel guilty?"
"What? No!" Mars balked. "That's not what I meant!" He was obviously afraid he'd somehow inadvertently insulted her. "I just… I figured it was a better solution you know. Every time I wanted a drink, I'd go get a shake instead. After a while sober, it wasn't nearly as bad."
"Don't tell me this is light for you," Sara grimaced.
"Hardly," Mars replied with a self-depreciating laugh. "I was just…"
"Drowning your sorrows after last night?" Sara suggested gently.
"Yeah, pretty much."
Well, that certainly explained a few things. Admittedly, it was better than him continuing to get wasted every night and failing out of school. But it was a pretty lousy long-term solution. She was beginning to feel even guiltier about her over-reaction to his profession of love last night. "What does this have to do with me then?" she asked finally. That was what she really needed to know. "Haven't you seen other girls since Lisa?"
"A couple," Mars replied, though he looked even more ashamed, if that was possible. "Mostly one-night stands, nothing serious. I couldn't trust enough after that. They might have worked out as something more long term but…" he shrugged. "I doubt it. All I could think about then was the fact that the only good relationship I've had, the only one that worked and made me happy, was when we were together."
Well that explained it. Sara shook her head. "What we had was great, Mars, but it was never meant to be forever, we agreed to that."
"I know," Mars nodded, though he looked upset. "I was reminded of that enough last night. I completely screwed up."
"Well we agree there," Sara smiled. "I still care a lot about you, but you barely write, we're never going to be in the same place for enough time to even have a relationship for years yet, and we've both changed."
"And I feel like a loser because of it," Mars shifted uncomfortably in his chair. "I've read every one of your letters at least a half dozen times. You're doing important work, Sara, and apparently doing a great job of it. You clearly love what you're doing, even when you don't like it all the time, and you seem happy."
"Is it really me you're in love with, Mars?" She hated to ask, it sounded cruel, but she had a point to make. "Or was it the memory of a good relationship? I haven't forgotten either you know."
"I wish I knew. Though no guy's gotten to you yet, have they," Mars looked her in the eyes. It wasn't a question.
Sara felt her face flush with heat as she got what he meant. "How would you know?"
"I could see it in your face last night, when you almost killed me," he replied. "And really, that makes it worse for me; what I almost did."
"So it was okay with another girl but not with me?" He really didn't make any sense sometimes.
Mars' expression hardened as he nodded. "They all had more experience than me," was all he said in reply.
Sara wasn't entirely sure how to respond to that. This was, singularly, the weirdest conversation she could imagine having with an ex-boyfriend, or any close male friend. She wasn't sure she'd be able to have these kinds of conversations even with her brothers. Or especially not with her brothers! "So, what now?" she finally asked lamely. "I'm not in love with you, Mars. I never was, and you know that. As much as I do care about you, it's just not that way. I almost wish it was," she admitted. "Because I hate to hurt you, but I can't pretend feelings that just aren't there."
"I know," Mars replied, smiling sadly. "And I don't want you to, Sara. After I left last night I did a lot of thinking, and I'm still mad at myself for my behavior, but nothing is worth losing you completely. Still," the smile widened just a little. "You should be more aware of just how much of a heartbreaker you are, even without trying."
The look in his eyes was making Sara uncomfortable again. "And why is that?"
"Because no matter how hard you try not to, you're going to break the hearts of guys you might not even ever realize know who you are, but they wish you did." Mars seemed so sure of that. "You're a one of a kind girl and someday some lucky bastard is going to be able to make you as happy as you deserve, and the rest of us will just wish we could have been the one."
Tears. There were tears in her eyes. Why was that? Sara looked away from Mars then, unable to meet that sure gaze. She'd never set out to break anyone's heart, certainly not his! It wasn't fair that it felt like her fault. But then, it wasn't fair to him either. "What will you do now?" she asked after a couple of long, silent minutes.
Mars shrugged. "Just what you told me I'd do last night," he replied. "We're in town for a week. After that, I'm gone again. We'll be in Amestris a week longer, then it's back to Creta by the end of the summer. I've only got another year of study before I'm finished, and I don't want to disappoint you, my folks, or myself." He smiled then. "Don't worry about me, okay? I'll be all right eventually." He glanced at the time then stood up. "I should get going. I have to meet up with Professor Higgins in half an hour."
Sara got up as well and, after an awkward moment, gave in to her instincts and hugged him tightly. Mars seemed startled, but hugged her back. "Take care of yourself," she whispered, then looked up and smirked a little. "And cut back on the shakes okay?" She resisted the urge to say for me. Really, that wasn't the point.
That did it. Mars actually smiled; a real one, not the pitiful facsimiles he had been giving her. "Yes ma'am. Whatever you say."
June 25th, 1948
This was not happening. Really, this had to be the worst timing ever Maes Mustang thought at he stared at Marcus Kane over the Colonel's desk. "You want me to leave today?" he asked incredulously.
"Really, we could have used people out there days ago," Kane replied with a sigh, "If we had known. There's been a lot of drought in the grasslands to the South, and we need a way of reliably and quickly putting in fire breaks. You're the best one for the job. Do you have a problem with this assignment, Firebrand?" His expression told Maes just how serious it was, and how little he was likely to think of Maes' recent personal dilemma as a decent excuse.
Maes sighed. "No, Sir," he replied. "I'll get packed and leave on the train this afternoon."
"Good," Kane nodded. "That's settled then. I'll send word that you're coming." He picked up a stack of paperwork and started reading through it. "Dismissed."
Maes saluted, turned, and headed out of the Colonel's office. Talk about lousy timing! He'd fumed all of yesterday, doing his best to keep his temper reined in and under control. He was usually more patient than this, but the fight with Sara was still bothering him. That hadn't gone anywhere near the way he'd planned it, and he was pretty sure a lot of that was his fault.
He'd gotten guff about it from some of his friends who had witnessed the end of the argument or heard about it second – or third – hand. Not everyone who had commented was friendly either; he'd gotten some snide remarks from guys who didn't like him much, though those didn't bother him as much as the fact that Maes was pretty sure Sara was avoiding him. He hadn't seen her at all yesterday, though someone had mentioned seeing her with some guy downtown yesterday. From the descriptions, Maes had his suspicions as to whom it was, and it took only the most basic investigative ability to find out that Mars Leighton was in town. As if Maes didn't have enough trouble with Sara's obvious interest in other guys, her former boyfriend would show up now!
Maes had resolved to talk to her again. He had to. His longest held secret was out, the one person he had hoped most would understand was angry with him, and he still wasn't entirely sure he understood why.
Probably the weirdest conversation he'd had since the fight on Wednesday night was yesterday afternoon. Sara's father, of all people, had walked up to him with the one piece of advice that actually seemed worth taking. "Give her a little time to cool down then try again, but someplace a little less public this time, Ace." That was all the Fullmetal Alchemist had said, but coming from him, it had a little more weight. Apparently Edward Elric wasn't anywhere near as mad at him as Sara was; possibly not at all. Was there hope then? Or did it just mean that he was staying out of it for the most part?
Maes had hoped to find out, but now he only had a very short couple of hours to do it in, instead of waiting another couple of days like he had planned. So much for moving into the NCO quarters before his next assignment, and if he wanted to talk to Sara he was going to have to find her fast. He hadn't seen her around much lately, though he had heard she'd been in to the office a few times. He didn't dare hunt her down in her apartment or at her folks' place. "Hey, Stenson," he asked one of Kane's aides as he was on his way out. "Have you seen Elric?"
"The General or the cute one?" Warrant Officer Stenson teased, though he had to know who Maes meant. No one referred to Fullmetal as just Elric around here! "She's supposed to be around today. We had a bunch of requests come in this morning, as you just got the receiving end of," he shrugged. "Looks like the reprieve is over."
"Looks like," Maes agreed noncommittally as he headed out the door. Sara would be coming this way eventually, so hanging around was his best chance of catching her. As it turned out, he was in luck. As soon as he stepped into the hallway, he spotted Sara – actually in uniform – coming down the hall. Yep, official business. "Hey," he stepped forward, hoping to catch her quickly. "Can we talk for a minute?"
Sara stopped short then tried to go around him. "Later, Mustang. I have a meeting with Colonel Kane."
"Just had one myself," Maes nodded, then plowed in before she could get away, or he lost his nerve, or both. "This won't take long. I just want to talk about the other night. I—"
"Can't this wait?" Sara frowned. "Cause if you want to tell me you've changed your mind, than we'll both look like idiots, and if you want to apologize nothing's going to change in fifteen minutes."
"Fifteen minutes is fine," Maes sighed. He didn't want to get into another fight, but damn she was testy this morning. "Your office?"
"Sure, fine," Sara nodded curtly then headed into the office he had just left. Not wanting to look stupid standing there, or following her back in, Maes headed down to the office next door, where a lot of the State Alchemists had their desks and filing space, for however little they used it. The desks were shared since they were never all in Central at once.
Sara hadn't really meant to blow Maes off, but she was in a hurry. Kane had actually sounded a little harried on the phone, a rare occurrence. As it turned out, he had reason to be. More and more the State Alchemists over the years had been used for humanitarian aide, civilian assistance, and often now requests were sent when a situation would be aided by the use of a State Alchemist's particular talents and position within the government as a military officer. Those requests, when legitimate, on top of the regular duties within the military purview were what kept State Alchemists hopping.
"There's a noon train heading for Orstel," Kane informed her. "I want you on it. There's a mine up there that's come under some discrepancy as to who owns it, and who owns the rights to its contents. There are two parties whose land runs up against it, but the mine reaches underground well into both of their lands, and there's records indicating that the original owner made a deal with the military for a portion of the profits. It's been empty for years, but suddenly one of the sons on one side is claiming it for his own since he's willing to mine it, and no one has any idea what's in there." Orstel was two stops by train, and several hours by car, shy of Youswell. Sara knew the area fairly well by now.
"So you want me to inspect the mine and see if there's even anything left worth mining, estimate the worth, and figure out the legality of the whole situation." Sara was pretty sure that was it.
"You're right on the mark," Kane sighed, but smiled. "I needed someone who can handle a few hot-heads. Apparently it's already come to blows several times, and gun shots once, though no one was killed."
Damn. "I'll make the train," Sara promised. "Any further instructions?"
Kane shook his head. "Call in and give me an initial report after you do the inspection and talk to people. We'll see if some of our guys down here can help crunch some numbers and verify information as necessary."
"Thank you, Colonel," Sara nodded, then saluted and left the office. Noon, it was ten thirty already, and she needed to stop in and have a few words with her father before she left, as well as getting back to the apartment and packing!
It was eleven thirty before Maes began to be sure that he'd been dodged, or at least forgotten. He found out from Torv Skald that he'd seen Sara leave the building nearly a half an hour before in a pretty big hurry and knew he was right. Sara had orders, and hadn't even swung through to tell him she had to go. Well, he thought bitterly, that was enough to tell where he was on her priority list!
Now, he really needed to move if he wanted to get packed in time to catch his train that afternoon. He hoped that the mission wouldn't last more than a couple of weeks for either of them. Maybe Sara would have had enough time to consider what he'd said by the time they both got back to Central. Then they could sit down and have a real conversation about the whole thing.
July 15th, 1949
The house was oddly quiet, Edward thought as he sat in the living room at the dining table, ostensibly reading an alchemy book, but really he was staring out into the back yard, watching the sunset shift the colors of the sky and finding that he already missed having all three kids at home. Ethan was upstairs in his room pouring through books on alchemy, auto-mail, and medical texts, as usual.
Ed wondered if the small, empty feeling in his gut was the same one Pinako might have felt watching her children, and then her grand-daughter – and him and Al – up and leave home, going off and starting their own lives.
Ed had adjusted to Sara's in-and-out schedule. He'd also had years to prepare for it, knowing she wanted to take the exam and become a State Alchemist. Ed knew the lifestyle, and it hadn't been too hard to get used to his independent, headstrong child going off just like he did, but healthy and happy and whole;At least for the most part.
Aldon had just left that morning on the train with Ollie Larson and Cassandra Silverman. Ed and Winry and Ethan had seen them off, and the Larsons and Cassie's parents had been there too to wish their children well on their first endeavors into the world on their own. Working up at Fort Briggs was really the best place to learn the kinds of engineering skills that Aldon wanted, and the types of design work too. Ed knew his son would have no trouble handling the hard workload, though those first few months would be rough. He more hoped they'd all be able to adjust to the frigid, bleak winters up there. Aldon had admitted, in a quiet moment, that he was a little worried about Cassie given how petite she was; she got cold easily. Given the girl was two inches shorter than Ed and willow-thin he understood his son's concern!
"What do you think they're doing right now?" Winry asked softly as she came up behind him, her hands resting lightly on his shoulders.
Ed reached up with his left hand, laying it on hers as he looked up, not having to ask who she meant. He couldn't help grinning just a little as he shrugged. "They're probably cuddled up in their berth practicing keeping each other warm."
"That's not funny," Winry glared at him and her other hand smacked him upside the head. "We just let our son go off to the North with his girlfriend!"
"Relax, Winry," Ed dodged her hand by moving his head, taking only a glancing slap. "There's nothing to worry about. Aldon's as responsible and hard working as you are. He'll be fine at Briggs."
"That's not what I'm worried about," Winry sighed, lifting her other hand and dropping into the chair on his left.
"You and I went off together and nothing ever happened," Ed chuckled. He understood Winry's concerns, but he thought she was over-reacting.
"You call getting married in a little French country church with only your brother to witness nothing?" Winry actually smirked at him.
Ed shrugged. "I meant before that. Either way, Aldon's not a kid anymore, not really. He's going to make his own decisions and we're just going to have to live with them. I really think this is going to be a good learning experience for all of them, and I don't think he'll do anything to jeopardize that for him or Cassie." He could imagine the heart attacks he would have given his mother if she ever really knew what he and Al had done in their lives; even as he would have given almost anything to find out! Pinako had certainly done enough parental scolding to make up for not having his parents around whenever they had actually been by.
Winry leaned against his shoulder. "My mind tells me what you're saying makes sense, but my heart's still worried," she admitted softly. "It's just so hard to stop thinking of them as our babies sometimes even when I know they're capable of taking care of themselves." Ed could tell she was talking about all three of their kids now.
"Well you still have one in the nest to mother till you drive him crazy," Ed pointed out with a chuckle. Not that Ethan would mind. Ed knew their youngest actually enjoyed stealing his parents' attention away from his older siblings when he could. Not that he ever lacked for it, especially not with how often he and Ed studied alchemy together, and he and Winry worked on auto-mail.
"Quite a bit after next week," Winry nodded. Ethan's last surgery on his hand was only a few days away, and Ed knew the boy wasn't looking forward to it but – like most eleven year olds – he didn't want to admit to any weakness. "I'm glad it will be the last."
"Me too," Ed agreed. He was glad sometimes that he hadn't grown much after his initial auto-mail surgery. The ports he'd been given then he had never outgrown while Ethan, having been fitted younger, had required upgrades to more than just the fingers as he had grown up to keep things fitting and working properly. The recovery and therapy had been a little shorter each time, but they were still likely looking at three months before Ethan could comfortably use his hand completely again. No wonder the boy wanted to find a way to make things easier on auto-mail patients! "You know though," he smiled. "I doubt Ethan's going to mind being spoiled with a little extra attention."
"Good," Winry smiled. "I think I'm suffering from child withdrawal already."
