A/N: All the reviews for Helpless When She Smiles inspired me to write a companion piece/second part.

Disclaimer-I do not own any of the characters used

I'm sitting trying to gather my thoughts. I've come to admit something that I've been hiding for a while. I don't even want to admit it now. Don't worry; I'll let you out of your misery later.

From the outside looking in, people think I have everything and that my life is perfect but that's far from the truth. I just want to be loved like the next person. It seems a hard enough task for my parents to show me love and affection but I'm not going down that road as that's a completely different story.

I guess what doesn't help is that some people don't take me seriously. I guess I'm known as the happy party girl, that gets around and maybe I was that girl, once. People can change and I feel like I have.

Recently I've been in bit of a sticky situation lately where I've found myself unsure of what I'm feeling and why. It is a strange turn of events that has brought me to this point. Someone very unexpected has caught my eye and I don't know what to do. Usually if I fancy someone, I just go for it; what Brooke Davis wants she gets. Before you say anything, yes it's weird me talking about myself in the third person. Enough with that, anyway I don't think I can ever have this person; it's all too complicated.

We have this bond that I can't describe and her friendship is something I will treasure forever. Yes I know I said her. The person I can't get is a girl. I guess you didn't see that coming; well join the club where I am president and founding member.

I look over at her a lot when she's not aware. When we make eye contact I give her a smile that only has eyes for her. It's more of a flirtatious smile. I get away with it because I'm flirtatious by nature. I sometimes feel that she's looking at me too but just not in the same way.

We goof around a lot and have private jokes; sometimes getting in trouble but we always have fun despite her protesting at times beforehand. I'm affectionate and touching her sends shivers down my spine; it's a weird and wonderful feeling. I feel sometimes I need to pull back and compose myself because she drives me crazy.

I don't know how to deal with it and I would love to talk to someone about it but who would I speak to, her exes, our mutual friend, my parents. I'm laughing internally that it hurts. It's just something I have to deal with alone.

I won't tell her how I feel; I mean how can you tell your best friend that you're in love with her. Peyton Sawyer doesn't look at me that way and it will remain my little secret.