Title: Close to the Edge

Summary: Ponyboy hasn't been feeling up to his wits lately and he can't help but feel that something will give. The truth is he doesn't know how right he is.

Here lies Hurt!ponyboy and worried brothers…the good stuff.

I intend to cripple Ponyboy emotionally and physically then invite his brothers to watch. Yay!

….NO I'm not crazy, why do you ask?...

Nah I just thrive on brotherly angst and worry… and Ponyboy, my friends, is a prime candidate.

Anyways if this goes as I've planned it will be a fairly long story. This chapter will be on the short side as I'm just getting things going. This is set a couple years after the book so Ponyboy will be about 15-16ish which makes Soda 18.

Let's see how this goes shall we? Hehe

DISCLAIMER: I don't own the Outsiders and I never will.

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Emptiness can be described in many ways and in many contexts. It can be used to explain something used or void of life or to explain the state of having or containing nothing. It may also describe the feeling of having no value or being inadequate. Currently Ponyboy felt the later.

Lying in his empty bed Pony rubbed his stomach in slow circles all the while staring absently at the ceiling. Time was beginning to take a toll on him and he knew he was close to breaking. He felt it in his core.

He didn't know what to do anymore. His grades have been slowly worsening and he could hardly force himself to do daily chores and activates. Hell, even just starting his day was something he would rather not do.

Getting up was something he did just for his brothers; to give them reassurance. He knows they have taken notice of his inactiveness and he knows he is worrying them. Still Pony can't seem to get out of this feels empty and emotionless. What could he do? He had a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach; a foreboding that something, soon, would snap.

Groggily Ponyboy turns onto his side and sits up. He has to at least attempt to study tonight and try to get caught up a little.

Boy oh boy when Darry see's my report card I'm in for it, Ponyboy thinks staring at his chemistry textbook. He picks up his pencil and begins to start flash cards when the sound of the door slamming open startles him into dropping it.

"I'm home!" Two-bit cries cheerfully from somewhere in the living room.

"This aint your home" Steve Sais starkly.

"Well soon enough ill get my own place and a nice, huge busted blonde to come home to" Two-bit explains happily.

"You aint even able to find a job so you can't afford a house, AND even if you did no way in hell a busty blonde would stay with you for more than an hour" The smirk on Steve's face could almost be heard and Ponyboy rolls his eyes from where he's sitting at his desk.

"my oh my Steve how you hurt me!" two-bit feigned a hurt voice before a loud slap filled Pony's ears followed soon by Soda's light laugh bouncing off the walls.

Ponyboy goes back to writing his flash cards all the while trying to ignore the loud banging coming from the other room.

A while later the door to the bedroom bursts open and Soda enters casually.

"Hey pone, studying?" Soda asks and pony notices the grease stain on his cheek and his ruffled hair.

Ponyboy nods and shoots his brother a halfhearted smile.

Soda smiles back and ruffles his kid brother's hair exaggeratedly. Then he strips off his shirt and throws it on the dirty floor and puts on a plain black one.

"Going out?" Ponyboy asks curiously all the while writing another definition down on his paper.

"Mhm were heading out to a party," Soda states eyeing his brother. His grin grows. "How about you come along? I'm sure it'll be fun" His eyes glow and he sits on the edge of their sofa.

"Nah I have to study and I don't feel much up to it." Ponyboy shrugs.

Soda's grin vanishes and his eyes grow serious. "Ponyboy, it's been awhile since you got out and had fun. It's Friday. Cant your studying wait till later?" Soda asks earnestly wanting his brother to get out and actually do something, maybe have a little fun.

Ponyboy just shakes his head. Don't push this soda, please. He thinks eyeing his older brother tiredly.

Soda stands up and walks close to Pony. "Come on it'll be fun and I'm sure threll be some pretty young girls there too. I think Curly's gonna be there. You guys haven't talked in awhile right?" Soda asks attempting to convince his stubborn brother.

Lately Soda has noticed a change in Ponyboy and it worried him. Pony used to tell him everything but now he hardly ever talks to Soda, despite living in the same house as him and sleeping in the same bed. It hurts Soda a little to know something is hurting his brother and he doesn't know what so he can help remedy it.

In fact, Soda thinks to himself, I hardly know anything at all about Ponyboy lately.

"Forget it Soda, I'm tired I don't feel like going out." A sigh escapes Ponyboy's lips and he sets down his pencil but doesn't move to turn towards his brother's stare, choosing instead to look at the words in his textbook.

"But you never go out anymore, you barely even talk to me these days Pone. What's going on?" Soda asks seriously touching his brother's arm and turning Pony to face him.

"Nothing Soda, leave me alone will ya? I don't need you down my throat right now." Ponyboy tries to shrug off Soda's hand.

Soda looks hurt by Ponys harsh words but doesn't let go of his grip on his younger brother's arm. Soda chooses to say nothing but stare at his brother.

"Lay off Soda. I'm serious. I just don't feel good and I gotta' headache so please lay off."

"No Pony, me and you ought to have a talk." Soda lessened his grip but didn't fully let go, instead laying his hand on Pony's arm gently. Pony dosent even try to correct his grammar.

"I've noticed you aint been yourself and I wanna know what's up? Don't you trust me anymore?" Soda lets his hand slide off.

Ponyboy looks up at his older brother, eyes full and telling. Soda feels taken aback by his brother's empty and dull stare.

Ponyboy looks as if he were about to say something before he lets it die on his lips. Soda's concern grows.

"Come on Pony, let's get out tonight. For me?" Soda manages a halfhearted smile looking at his brother hopefully.

"Yeah Soda sure. Okay I'll go." Ponyboy gives in, if anything just wanting things to be normal again too.

More than anything he wants to go back to when things were normal. When he could see a movie with Johnny, when Dally was around, when his parents were able to be in the kitchen cooking happily and lightly talking about their days.

Pony wants it more than anything.

Yet he knows it'll never happen.

Ponyboy notices he was staring off and looks up at Soda and gives him a fake smile. Soda seems satisfied enough and pats Ponyboy's head a couple times before leaving the room.

Sighing Ponyboy Straightens down his hair and thinks dejectedly tonight is gonna be a long night.

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On the ride there Ponyboy can feel a real headache starting to form and touches his temple gingerly. Two-bit has the radio on loud and is singing along obnoxiously while Steve and Soda are in deep conversation about a mechanical issue that happened at the DX earlier.

"—aint it Pony?" Ponyboy startles and looks to two-bit realizing he was talking to him.

"What'd you say Two-bit?" I say loudly to get my voice to carry over the loud music.

"Aint listening to me? Why I'm hurt." Two-bit makes a sad face touching his hand to his chest while the other is on the steering wheel the winks at me. "Head in the clouds kid?"

"No! I just can't hear you over the loud music!" Ponyboy sais a bit louder than was necessary to show his annoyance.

Suddenly a hot pain hits Ponyboy in his chest and for a second he can't breathe; can't think. It passes as soon as it comes and Pony lets out a shaky breath. He looks up to see Two-bit staring at him intently.

"You okay there Ponyboy?" two-bits asks sharply. This gets Soda's attention and he turns his head quickly to look at his younger brother.

"Yeah just had a weird pain but it passed." Ponyboy explains distractedly putting his hand where the pain had been just a moment ago.

"You okay now?" Soda asks and Ponyboy chuckles uneasily.

"Yeah I'm good it's gone. Let's just get this over with."

"You know, you don't have to come." Steve said, speaking up. It was not in a nice way. His smirk is annoying as ever and Ponyboy feels back to normal, already forgetting the pain.

"You know, you don't have to be an ass, but it's too late to change both our problems now isn't it?"

"Smart ass" Steve mutters while Two-bit laughs.

Soda gives Ponyboy a strange look before he manages a smile his brother's way and continues his conversation with Steve.

They pull into a diner and everyone gets out of the truck, which happens to be Darry's, and the gang walk into the small burger joint.

Two-bit strides up to the counter and starts flirting with the girl who takes the orders. Steve and Soda roll their eyes.

Ponyboy just wishes he could be at home in bed. The smell of the food makes him sick. Lately food hasn't had much appeal to him. What's wrong with me? He thinks to himself

"Waddya want to eat Pone?" Soda asks distractedly pushing at Steve who's checking out a girl eyeing him and Soda.

"Nothin I'm not hungry."

Soda looks at him a moment then shrugs. A grin high on his face.

"Okay suit yourself." With that Soda pushes Steve forward towards Two-bit.

Ponyboy can hear as they walk off Soda saying "knock it off. You got Stevie." Steve then laughs and then they're out of ear shot.

Ponyboy's left standing and feeling alone in a room full of people.

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After eating they all clambered back into the truck and were heading off toward the party. Ponyboy didn't know who was throwing it and he doubted Soda did either.

Sighing Pony looks out the window. After ahile he notices they're pulling into the street.

Cars are parked everywhere, even on the lawn of the house of whoever was throwing the party.

There's large groups of people standing around outside and drinking happily. Even more loud music coming from inside the building.

Two-bit swears and Sais they'll park a block away.

Ponyboy's headache throbs and he mentally prepares himself. He really didn't feel like socializing. His social life hasn't been great lately and he hasn't even bothered looking for a best friend after Johnny. He feels the constriction in his chest again. Looking up Ponyboy realized everyone had already gotten out of the car. He moves slowly and inches out of the car.

Soda, Steve, and Two-bit wait for pony as he climbs out of the truck slowly. Pony's feet touch the ground. Suddenly Ponyboy doesn't feel too hot.

Soda notices and is by his brother side in an instant.

"Pony? Are you alright? You don't look to good." Two-bit asks trailing up behind the two brothers while Soda puts his hand on his brother's forehead. He's surprised to feel it burning up.

"You feel like you're running a fever. We should go home." Soda states looking toward Two-bit while Steve emits a sound of annoyance.

Suddenly Ponyboy can't find his feet and the world starts spinning.

"Soda-" he whispers and his older brother realizes what's happening. He grabs onto Ponyboy as Pony's world becomes black.

Soda wasn't prepared and they both hit they're knees.

Its quiet for a small moment and then chaos erupts.

"Ponyboy! Pony! Pone!" Soda screeches. He frantically shakes his younger brother.

Steve is by Soda in an instant. "Two-bit go have them call for an ambulance! Hurry! Now!"

Two-bit is pale as he looks at Ponyboy not again not again not again he thinks to himself quickly before turning onto his heels and running into the house.

Steve touches Soda's shoulder and tells him an ambulance is coming.

Ponyboy feels so frail and thin in Soda's arms.

"Pone. Please don't do this. What's wrong? Pone? Ponyboy! Wake up!" Soda shakes his brother heftily.

Ponyboy's head rolls to the side and this scares Soda so much he grabs onto his brother tightly, supporting pony's neck with his hands. Soda looks towards Steve.

"Steve! What do I do? What do I do? He won't wake up!" Soda is so frightened.

Steve reaches down and feels pony's wrist. His pulse is there. Weak but there.

Steve doesn't know what to do. Doesn't even know what to say. While keeping his hand on Ponyboy's wrist he looks at Soda and then at Ponyboy.

The sound of the ambulance fills the street.

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AN: sorry about any grammar mistakes

Oh and sorry for the cliffy xD I couldn't help it. Just to warn you Pony's illness is not going to be that serious id rather focuses on him having a perhaps bad case of depression and a few bad scenarios. I don't plan on this being a disease centered story.

Don't worry there will be plenty of delicious brotherly worry in the next chapter. :D

Don't be afraid to review and tell me what you think it would be appreciated!

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