Author's Note: there's a few things I should make clear to you, the readers, before you read this fanfic.
First: this story ties into Project Bluefield, a "fiction/fanfiction series" created by myself. As such, as you read, you'll come across characters and plot elements that don't appear in Fire Emblem Awakening, much less make sense. Don't worry, though - you don't need to understand every single one of these elements to enjoy the story.
Second: this story loosely follows the official storyline of Fire Emblem Awakening. This means the characters may do things differently in this fanfic than they do in the game.
Third: this story will follow my version of the Avatar, named Dysren. His personality is quite different from his in-game counterpart. Also, at this point on the story, he and Lucina have fallen in love; and they have encountered and taken in Morgan, their future daughter.
Last but not least: this story contains major spoilers for Chapter 21 of Fire Emblem Awakening. Read at your own risk!
Now that that's all out of the way, please enjoy this fanfic! :)
"In (Dis)Regard"
[REDACTED], a.12 (after 2012)
Dysren
Shepherds / Zeroes
Shepherds' Garrison, Ylisse
Fire Emblem
"You know, I have memories of him, from when I was little. Before he… Before he died."
I nodded, saying nothing.
"He was courageous, kind," she said. I knew that look in her eye–her mind was elsewhere. In the past of her terrible future. "Everyone spoke fondly of him. People said that he was brave, even until the very end."
"Yeah," I said, smiling faintly. "Yeah… That's just the sort of person he is. Even when we're against impossible odds, he just keeps going. And somehow, that drives us to follow him."
Lucina nodded, smiling as well.
"I always yearned to know him better. And now that I do…I can see that the world will be robbed of a very great man." She looked up at me here, somehow sad…and resolute. "I won't allow that to happen."
I paused, then nodded slightly. "I know you won't. None of us would."
"I know, Dysren. But…"
My brow furrowed. She hadn't called me Dysren since…
"What is it?" I asked her.
"…Would any of them do what is absolutely necessary?" Lucina looked me in the eye when she asked that. She took one step forward. "To make sure that Father does not die?"
"I don't doubt that any of them would. But—"
"And to that end, are any of our comrades-in-arms willing to make sacrifices, as you have?"
Sacrifices. That word brought back the day on the Searoad—how I came with the plan to sacrifice half of our own fleet to clear the way to Valm.
But this… It didn't feel like Lucina was talking about sacrificing a bunch of boats.
"What are you saying…?" I asked.
Lucina paused.
"…Dysren, I'm saying…" A short sigh. "Please forgive me."
And with that, she drew Falchion. With one hand, she aimed the sacred sword at my chest, where my heart should be.
I took a step back in surprise, hands in front. "Lucina—"
"Stay where you are!" Lucina barked. She was steeling herself—I could see that in her face. "Dysren, I—I've no choice. I have to kill you."
I almost couldn't believe what I was hearing. "You? Kill me? What for?!"
"Don't you remember? In my future, Father was killed by his best friend. Out of all the Shepherds, only one person is ever so close to him. That person…is you, Dysren."
Even with her trying to stay calm, it sounded really painful for her to finish that last sentence.
I let my hands slowly drop to my sides. "I…killed Chrom…?" Then I felt angry float up through the horror in my chest. "Why the hell would I do that…?"
Lucina shook her head briefly. Her Falchion didn't waver from my chest.
"I was not certain myself," she admitted. "I thought, 'Why would Dysren kill Chrom?' Having witnessed your bond with him, I doubted it could be so. No matter what happens, neither of you have any reason to dislike one another, let alone kill."
My thoughts briefly went to Emmeryn's fall, two years ago.
"But…today's events make it all clear," Lucina continued "You are at Validar's mercy. He's already taken control of you once, and he'll do it again. He'll force you to take my father's life. And if my future is to happen again, Father will die very soon…"
I wanted to argue. But then I remembered handing the Fire Emblem over to Validar. How I couldn't stop myself from actually doing the deed. I'd almost dropped it before he could touch it, but—
"If my father is right," Lucina said, bringing me back from daydreams, "then we can change our fates. If this dark future is to be averted, sacrifices must be made." She tightened her grip on Falchion. "Dysren, I…I'm sorry. I know this is murder. I…I know that…but…"
Remembering that she had me at swordpoint, I tried to remain calm. "Lucina, you don't have to—"
"Enough!" she yelled, shutting me up. "Don't make this harder! Don't resist, and your death will be swift and painless."
She took a shaky breath.
"…Please, Dys. If you hold any love for Chrom, then let this be done…"
I was already standing still, but her words almost left me stunned.
There I stood, blade over heart, faced with an emotionally-impossible decision.
Lucina had come here to change the future from the hell it would become. I wanted to see the new future bloom—wanted to see it with Lucina and Morgan at my side. Yet here was a painful revelation: for that future to bloom, I most likely had to die.
It made me want to scream. It wasn't fair.
Then I looked to my left. The sunset was beautiful today—insultingly so. Streaks of light played across my vision. The clouds overhead—orange, yellow, red.
Almost forgetting the sword pointed at my chest, I remembered their smiles.
Chrom. Sumia. Lissa. Frederick. Stahl. Sully. Maribelle. Kellam. Ricken. Vaike. Virion. Olivia. Donnel. Miriel. Lon'qu. Panne. Gaius. Cordelia. Nowi. Gregor. Tharja. Libra. Cherche. Henry. Say'ri. Anna.
Owain. Cynthia. Inigo. Brady. Severa. Kjelle. Yarne. Nah. Gerome. Noire. Laurent.
Morgan.
Lucina.
"I love you. And no matter what the future holds…I will cherish every moment."
The children… They deserved to see that future, too. After all, they'd been through hell to get here in the first place.
How could I be selfish on them now?
How could I make what they've done, all be for nothing?
How could I even think of robbing Lucina of any hope of finally seeing a different future with her own eyes?
I remembered what Blu had said: "Pleasure comes from things like luxury, extravagance, self-indulgence. But oft with it comes guilt. Happiness—that comes from helping other people, making them happy."
I sighed, briefly closing my eyes for a moment, before facing Lucina, eyes open and resolute.
I remembered the smiles. I remembered the advice.
And I knew what I had to do.
"…All right," I said, a small, melancholy smile slowly crossing my lips. "I'll leave my fate in your hands."
Lucina paused. Maybe she hadn't expected me to agree. Then she nodded, gripped Falchion with both hands as she aimed the sword at my chest, six feet away.
I spread my arms out—defenseless. I never strayed my gaze from her face.
For moments, Lucina just stood there. Her stance told that she was completely prepared to run me through the chest.
It didn't exactly hit me that I wasn't dead yet until she snapped at me: "…D-Don't look at me like that! I love you! Do you have any idea how hard this is for me?"
Her eyes were slowly starting to shine.
"More than enough," I sighed. "Besides, I swore to give my life for Chrom, Sumia, Lissa—and you, Lucina. Especially you."
"Ah, just—!" She took a deep breath. "Dysren, please… Let me regret this sometime else. Anytime but now."
"Then at least promise me something."
I hadn't meant to speak so sharply. I guess part of me did want to die, but at least wanted to leave some loose ends in the right hands.
What I'd just said to Lucina—even with the sun's rays, I saw that it made her façade waver. Briefly, but unmistakibly so. "…Then speak," she said, voice level, almost monotone, "lest your last request dies with you."
"…If she remains here, even after I die… Please—look after Morgan for me." Somehow, I felt at peace already. "Be there for her, no matter what happens next. After all, you'll be all she truly has left."
Lucina hesitated, then nodded. "…You have my word," she said. "She'll be in good hands."
I nodded, relieved to know for sure that Morgan would not be alone. I closed my eyes, ready to introduce my chest to a bite of sacred steel.
I heard Lucina yell "Haaaaaaa!", then a piercing sound that sounded disturbingly close to me.
Then the wind roared in my ears.
[Changing Perspective to:] 017 "Bluefield"
