Disclaimer: Harry Potter and all subsequent characters are owned by J.K. as you likely already know.

A/N: This fic came to be after Snapeswidow gave me a prompt of Severus being stalked by an animal with a certain somebody putting the animal up to it. This fic is a lot of laughs, or so I'm told. Enjoy.

Battle of Wills

The tall brooding man watched his students file out of his classroom quietly. He could see the look of defeat on some of their faces and resisted his sigh. If they truly were defeated after learning how to cast spells nonverbally, then how in the world would they survive the coming war? He waited until the last student had filed out before he turned away and headed to his office.

He shook his head the moment he caught sight of the large stack of exams he still had to mark on his desk. There should've been a spell invented long ago to finish such tedious tasks as that one. Perhaps he should create on, he considered for a moment. If his spell worked, then he'd be set for life, never having to worry about money again.

"Meow."

Blinking at the sudden noise, Snape glanced down. He frowned when he caught sight of the unfamiliar cat brushing up against him affectionately. No doubt, one of the stupid students lost their cat. Bending down, he picked up the cat, checking it over for a collar. When he found no id, he shook his head and set the feline back down.

"Meow."

"Let me guess, you're hungry?" Snape mumbled. When the cat instantly rubbed up against him again affectionately, he rolled his eyes. "Very well then." He turned and headed for the door, leaving his office a moment later and entering his rooms. He held the door open a second later, motioning for the cat to head on inside.

It wasn't the first time a student's cat had visited him over the years. In fact, it had happened enough times that he had developed a ritual for these sorts of times. He'd feed the thing and then send it on its merry way. Most times, after all, the thing was only looking for someone to pay attention to it for a couple of minutes.

So, that was what he did. He put down the bowl of milk and waited.

The little feline glanced from the bowl to him. "Meow."

"Yes, it's for you. Go on," he replied, motioning for the cat to drink the milk up. He crossed his arms when the cat stubbornly refused. "If you're not going to drink it, then get out."

For a brief moment, the feline paused, glancing at him. It then turned back and hopped up onto the counter. As it paused again, this time right beside a bowl of fruit, the cat met his eyes with a mischievous look. "Meow."

"My counter is not for you," Snape replied, glaring at the cat. "Now, go, you stupid thing." A moment later, he growled as the cat bumped up against the bowl and sent it flying towards the floor, smashing not long afterwards. "If you think you can best me, you damn feline, you are sorely mistaken!"

The cat instantly stretched out coolly in response, purring loud enough so he could hear it. Its purrs sounded oddly enough like laughs, as if it was laughing at him.

"Time for you to go home," Snape suddenly declared, reaching for it. He growled when the cat quickly hopped up and leapt up onto a nearby shelf. "Get down from there!" he snapped, pointing his finger at the feline. He was oddly reminded of his mother for a moment.

"Meow." The spices from the shelf suddenly then fell towards the floor as the cat hit each of them with its tail.

Snape clenched his teeth, drawing his wand and pointing it at the cat. "Get. Out. Now!" he hissed, livid with the insolent beast. When a plume of flour then went up after the cat had landed on an opened bag, both cat and Snape became covered from head to toe in the thick white powder. After coughing and wiping the flour from his face, he lunged once more at the cat, hearing its surprised yowl before it took off and rushed out the door.

"Stupid thing," he grumbled, waving his wand at the mess to clean it up magically. That was the last time he'd ever be nice to a damn cat again.

A few hours later, Snape emerged from his rooms and headed out for his rounds. All seemed quiet and well. Just the way he liked it. That was until he rounded a corner on the third floor and heard the terrible meow.

"You again," he growled, glaring at the cat in front of him.

"Meow." The feline instantly started to head for him.

"Oh no you don't. You stay over there."

The cat stopped at once, staring at him with wide eyes. "Meeeeow," it pleaded.

"I don't care. You destroyed my rooms." He then turned away, clenching his jaw when he felt the cat run in between his legs and nearly trip him soon after. "Go away!"

"Meow!"

"Go!" He then hissed when he felt the cat claw at his leg, catching his pant leg. "You had your chance, you blasted nuisance!"

"MEOW!" the cat cried.

"Knock it off this minute! Or I'll give you something to cry about!" he snarled, plucking the cat off him and holding it by the scruff of the neck. He then caught sight of the approaching witch and bit back his sigh of annoyance.

"Professor Snape!" McGonagall yelled, clearly outraged as she sprinted towards them. "What on earth are you doing to that poor cat?"

"Disciplining it," he replied simply, his eyes meeting the cat's.

"Put it down this moment!" she ordered, her green eyes flashing angrily.

"Not until it learns its lesson and stops bothering me!" he snapped. He frowned when the cat turned and glanced towards McGonagall, as if to ask her to intervene.

"Put that cat down now, Severus!"

"But the damn thing keeps bothering me!" He winced inwardly at the sound of how similar to a petulant toddler he sounded like right then.

"Of course it's pestering you. I ordered it to!" McGonagall admitted, frowning as she looked on. "Now, put the poor thing down so it can go on home."

Snape let go of it instantly and whirled around, descending onto the older witch. "What do you mean, 'you ordered it to?"

"Just as it sounds, Severus," McGonagall replied. "I ordered Terra to bother you. But had I known you were going to terrorize the poor thing, I never would have subjected her to you."

"Why?" he hissed.

"Isn't that obvious?" She then scoffed. "To get you back for spelling my quill to only write 'I love cat nip!"

He blinked. Oh. He had totally forgotten that he had done that. He then glanced at the retreating cat and shook his head.

"I believe that since we're even now . . ." she began.

He whirled around, though, stalking back to his rooms. She had gotten him good. This time.