Ghostbusters Meets South Park

Note: I don't own RGB or South Park

It was night time, and upstairs at GBHQ, the Fab Four were sound asleep. But tonight wasn't going to be an ordinary night, for Egon Spengler was about to have a very strange dream……

South Park, Colorado:

Morning came over the small mountain town. An alarm buzzed and Egon woke up. But something wasn't right. Have I shrunk? He thought. Egon looked around. "This isn't the firehouse. Where are the others?" He said to himself. Egon then looked out the window. "I don't think this is New York" He commented when he saw all the snow-covered surfaces everywhere. Egon stood up off the bed, and caught his reflection in the mirror. "AAAAAAAH!" He screamed, then when realizing his voice wasn't the same, clapped his hands over his mouth.

"Stanley, are you alright?" a woman asked.

"Uh, yeah. I- I'm fine." Egon/Stan stammered.

"Well hurry up and get dressed, or you'll be late for school."

"Uh, okay." What is going on here? Egon/Stan thought. Just then, a telephone in the room rang. "Hello?"

"Will you please tell me what just happened?"

"Ray? Is that you? What's wrong with your voice?"

"What's wrong with YOUR voice Egon? gasp! Wait a minute, you sound just like Stan!"

"Who's Stan?" Egon/Stan asked.

"From South Park?"

"You seem to be forgetting that I don't watch TV Ray." Egon/Stan told him.

"Well, you and I are characters from South Park. I just woke up and saw that I'm Kyle." Ray/Kyle explained. There was a beep over the phone.

"Hold on Ray, I have another call. Hello?"

"Okay, would somebody like, tell me what the hell is going on here?" a voice yelled on the other line.

"Peter? Is that you?" Egon/Stan asked.

"Who did you think it was? Santa Claus?"

"You got a cold or something?"

"No, I woke up with my voice sounding like this goddammit!" Peter yelled.

"Calm down Peter. Let me get back to you. Ray, I just got off the other line with Peter. And he's acting all weird and angry."

"Hasn't he always been weird? He probably woke up as Cartman."

"Who?"

"Eric Cartman. We call, I mean, Stan and Kyle just call him Cartman."

"Okay, so what about the others? What about Winston?"

"Who knows?" Ray/Kyle said.

"Stanley, are you dressed yet?" Mrs. Marsh called from downstairs.

"Uh, yeah, mom. I'll be down soon." Egon/Stan replied back. "Ray, I mean, Kyle, I'll see you- Hey, where do I see you?"

"At the bus stop for school. Just like in the show."

"Oh yeah, right."

Later that morning, Ray as Kyle and Egon as Stan met at the school bus stop. "Where's Peter?"

"Don't you mean Cartman?" Ray/Kyle asked.

"Oh right, Cartman. Here he comes." They saw him in the distance, and busted up laughing.

"What the hell is so funny?" Peter/Cartman asked.

"You look like Cartman you fat-ass!" Ray/Kyle chuckled.

"Thank you very much for reminding me asshole!" Peter/Cartman snapped. "And I'm not fat, I'm BIG- BONED!"

"Was he always this grumpy?" Egon/Stan asked.

"Yeah, and stupid." Ray/Kyle giggled. "He's fatter than Slimer." Suddenly, a fourth person ran up, and he was wearing an orange coat.

"MMMMMPH!" He exclaimed.

"Winston?" Kyle and Stan both asked. Cartman fell down laughing.

"Ha! Ha! Ha! Winston is Kenny! That poor piece of crap!"

"Shut up Cartman!" Kyle snapped, then looked at Stan. "This is bad Egon!"

"How bad Ray? You seem to be the expert here now, so you tell me." Stan replied.

"If Winston is Kenny, that means sometime during the day, he'll die." Kyle explained.

"Die?"

"MMPH?" asked Winston/Kenny.

"Yeah. He dies in every show."

"MMM- MMMM- MMM- MMMMPH!" Winston/Kenny exclaimed.

"Sorry Kenny, uh, Winston. I don't know what to do about it." Finally the school bus pulled up. The doors opened to reveal a very grumpy woman with a bird on her head. "Good Morning Miss Crabtree!" Kyle greeted.

"Sit down! We're running late!" She growled.

"Yeah whatever you fat bitch." Kyle muttered.

"What did you say?"

"I said I have a bad itch!"

"Oh."

At school, everyone was sitting at their seats. "Okay children let's take our seats, "Mr. Garrison began, speaking through Mr. Hat, his hand puppet, "We have a lot to learn today! We sure do Mr. Hat. Okay let's start the day with a few new math problems. What is five times two?" He wrote it out on the board. "Come on children, don't be shy. Just give it your best shot." A hand went up. "Yes Clyde?"

"Twelve?" He asked.

"Okay, now let's try and get an answer from someone who's not a complete retard. Anyone? Come on, don't be shy." Stan put his hand up.

"Uh Mr. Garrison, what is the point of this?"

"Well you need math to-"

"No, that hand puppet you're wearing."

"I use Mr. Hat as a teaching tool for all my classes. You know that already Stan. I've had him with me since I started teaching you."

"Well I findit very patronizing to my intelligence. And another thing, we're not retards either."

"Do you have a problem with the way I teach the class young man?" Mr. Garrison asked sternly.

"Frankly yes, I do."

"Alright that's it! You march your ass down to Mr. Mackey's office right now!" Then with Mr. Hat, he added, "Yeah! You go to hell! You go to hell and you die!"

"Ha! Ha! Stan's in trouble!" Cartman laughed.

"Do you wish to join him Eric?"

"Um, no Mr. Garrison." Cartman said, smiling.

"Then shut your mouth!"

"Yeah shut up fat ass!" Kyle added.

"KYLE!"

"Sorry."

Meanwhile, at Mr. Mackey's Offfice...

"M'kay now do you know why you're here Stanley?" Mr. Mackey asked.

"Uh, because Mr. Garrison sent me here?"

"Don't you get smart with me here m'kay? It says here that you sass-mouthed Mr. Hat."

"Mr. Hat is an inanimate object. It has no feelings." Stan protested.

"I don't care m'kay? Mr. Garrison feels that with Mr. Hat around, he can teach you better m'kay?"

"How? His methods are unbelievably unorthodox."

"That's for him to decide, not you, m'kay?" Mr. Mackey said. "Now you're going to sit out in the hall and think about what you did m'kay? I got to talk to your classmate Craig about flipping Mr. Garrison the bird again m'kay?" Stan got up and left Mr. Mackey's office.

"You're next." He told Craig, who was waiting outside the office. He went in, but not before "involuntarily" flipping Stan the bird.

After school was over, Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny were walking into town. "Egon, you really shouldn't have said those things to Mr. Garrison today." Kyle said. "He always gets people in trouble for that."

"Well thanks for NOT telling me. I really do appreciate that." Stan replied sarcastically.

"Just returning the favour." As they crossed the street, a car sped by and ran over Kenny. "Oh my God! They killed Kenny, I mean, Winston!" Kyle exclaimed.

"You bastards!" Stan added. Suddenly, an alarm sounded. "Ugh! Where is that sound coming from?" Stan covered his ears. All around him, everything faded…….

Just then, Egon woke up. It was the firehouse alarm he had been hearing. "Come on Egon, rise and shine. Duty calls." Peter told him.

"Uh, Peter, I think I'm still dreaming."

"You wish. Let's go."

"But, you still look like Cartman!"

"Who?" Peter asked, confused. Egon looked around. Ray and Winston also looked like Kyle and Kenny. What was going on here? "Ray! Winston! Peter! You STILL look like Kyle, Kenny and Cartman!" Egon exclaimed frantically.

"Huh?" Ray said.

"What?" Winston asked. Then they all saw their reflections in the mirror. And screamed. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

The End (Mwahahahahahahahahahahaha!)