Disclaimer: If I owned it would I be doing this?

I don't believe what I just heard.

Lily likes James.

Lily Evans likes James Potter.

Lily Evans loves James Potter.

Alright, I admit love is potentially a little exaggerated, but to be honest it's just a matter of time before they get married and have little squishy babies. Bless.

How do I know this? I'm Lily's friend, maybe her best friend. We often find ourselves spending time together - most of the time due to a lack of suitable alternatives.

And she tells me stuff. A lot of stuff. But all of the stuff she's ever told me this was the most unbelievable. I always knew she was in denial; but this was pure gold. A confession.

I was considering recording it and producing an extended remix, then blasting it from all corners of the school.

Over the top? Nah.

She even blushed when she said it.

That's right.

She blushed. Like one of those 'should be scientifically impossible to be that moronic' chicks with more boobs than brains. Lily Evans doesn't do blushes. In all the time I've known her she hasn't blushed once. Until yesterday evening of course.

And it's not like she took me to one side to tell me; and she wasn't giggling like some mindless goof ball. It just sort of popped out of her mouth. I don't think she even realised what she said. Well five minutes later, when I stopped writing my Potions essay and just gaped at her, then she noticed. She went the exact same colour as Valerie's lipstick – a curdling, blood red. It was pretty cool really, because Lily's a redhead so she sort of looked like a tomato. With frizz sprouting out the top. Which would lead you to believe you had purchased a questionable vegetable. Fruit? Vegetable? What's the deal with the seeds?

I digress.

She didn't say anything when I punched the air.

She didn't do anything when I punched her.

When I opened my mouth to scream it to the world, then she clamped her hand firmly over my mouth. And I have a pretty big mouth so it was an amazing feat for her; since she's got tiny hands.

"What?" I hissed.

"Don't!"

"Don't what?"

"Don't tell anybody what you just heard. ANYBODY!"

"Jesus, I think they all heard that."

"Williams!"

She only refers to me by my last name when she's really mad. But in this case I think she was just really humiliated. Funny kind of friendship we have.

"Fine, just repeat what you just confessed."

She looked at me like I was crazy. I am crazy so it made a hell of a lot of sense, but I just grinned encouragingly.

"I like James Potter," she whispered.

I think she was saying it more to herself than to me.

"Again," I said.

"I like James Potter."

"Say it again!"

"I really like James Potter."

"Getting a bit carried away now aren't-"

"NO! I KNOW HOW I FEEL!"

"PREACH SISTER!"

This got me several weird looks. I had forgotten there were other people in the common room. I tend to do that a lot. I gave Lily an extremely goofy smile. I have two smiles. Goofy and evil. Let me explain the uses of my smiles to you:

The Goofy Smile

When I am trying to make someone feel better. (Very rare)

When I'm feeling generally goofy.

When I want to imply that I am a goofball.

When I want to freak someone out.

When I'm thinking of something stupid and smile for no reason.

The Evil Smile

When I'm trying to make someone feel about as big as this full stop. No wait. Smaller.

When I'm feeling generally evil.

When I want to imply, "You sucker, I'M EVIL!"

When I want to freak someone out.

When I've successfully gotten someone into shit.

When I'm thinking of an evil thing I've done in the past or am going to do.

Now it's up to you to work out for which reason I use my smiles. Sometimes it's fairly obvious. Other times; I'm clueless myself as to why I'm actually smiling.

Back to Lily and her undying love for James. I smiled evilly to myself.

"You're smiling."

"So? I smile."

"It's an evil smile…"

"And?"

"What are you thinking about Courtney?"

"You and your undying love for James."

Five short sweet seconds passed before I was battered mercilessly with a pillow, only to be (barely) saved by the wonderful, amazing Remus Lupin.

"REMUS! SAVE ME!"

.Lily paused her pillow torture to greet Remus, then continued. Exactly seven minutes later (Remus was timing it) the beating ceased. I emerged from it's fluffy depths with hair like the bride of Frankenstein (except for the white streaks) and smudged eyeliner.

"So," began Remus, sipping some water, "Why were you torturing your best friend?"

I guess I am her best friend.

An evil smile took over my face. Even Remus noticed it.

"And, pray tell, what evil misdeed are you thinking about now?" he asked tiredly.

"Lily's undying love for James!" I squeaked, much to my dismay.

I think the pillows did something to my vocal chords.

Remus spat out his water onto my face. Fucking beautiful.

"Thanks Remus," I said sweetly through gritted teeth. Well as sweet as talking through gritted teeth can get.

"How did you get that out of her?"

"She confessed blatantly."

"Sad."

"True."

Lily spluttered, "What do you mean sad?"

"Well what were you talking about when you confessed your undying love? I pictured it as you would run around screaming it down the corridors."

A pillow headed Remus' way, but he artfully dodged it with a quick flick of his head. Well it's not my fault I was sitting down.

A look of realisation displayed itself on Lily's face. She nodded her agreement.

"You guys are right. Jumping Mexican beans and my love for James do not belong in the same sentence. Sad."

A/N: Hello