I'm alive! Ish... Sadly, this will probably be my last contribution to this fandom, partly for the reason that I have unfortunately lost interest. I'll be around in other fandoms, probably reading but not writing... The reason I'm doing this now is because I've asked the author to translate a year and a half ago and haven't gotten around to doing it yet.
I'm dealing with a lot of personal stuff right now and I've simply lost inspiration for a lot of my stories. I've also been working on a bunch of originals. So sadly, I won't be updating anything anytime soon, if not ever. So if any of you guys want to adopt any of my ongoing fics, just PM me :)
I won't stop writing though! I still love it to the moon and back! It's just time for me to move on.
MAYBE I'll post the occasional one-shot. You never know! PJO is still a really important part of my life regardless of interest, and I am eternally grateful of what it has brought me. So no, this is not a goodbye :)
BTW, I'm on Tumblr if any of you guys are too. I have a writing blog there for those of you who are into Marvel or Star Wars. It's just fun stuff :) The url is on my profile since for some reason the links won't work.
Disclaimer: I do not, by any means, own PJO or HoO (unless you count owning a copy of the books...). That right goes to Uncle Rick. I also don't own "The Call" by Regina Spektor.
ENJOY!
Message from the original author:
Hi ! I'm Sherytra, the original author of this fanfiction ! First, i want to thanks XxYesterdayTodayTomorrowxX for her traduction, it's really nice ! Then, i hope you'll enjoy my story ! Thanks you for reading !^^
"It started out as a feeling
Which then grew into a hope
Which then turned into a quiet thought
Which then turned into a quiet word..."
Percy waved to Argo who greeted back with a simple nod of his head before driving away in the camp's van. The teenager ran a hand in his black hair which have grown too long and are still as messy as ever. He was wearing a purple Camp Jupiter T-shirt with jeans and black sneakers. In a word, he looked like any other seventeen year old teen. However, as he cut through the crowds of New York, some people seemed to avoid him, as if disturbed by the aura that emanated from his being. He sighed. He'd expected it. Already, at Camp, he'd noticed that he seemed to scare away some of the newcomers.
It was as if a tiny sliver of Tartarus was henceforth and forevermore with him even in the brightly illuminated streets, filled with laughter and joy. It was as if a part of that eternal darkness had touched him so deeply, so profoundly, that it was now a part of him. Percy smiled a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes; cold and empty. It wasn't "as if". No. Tartarus had, in fact, touched him. Penetrated his very being. Ran his filthy hands over him more, much more than what he let people see. Much more than he cared to admit.
His newfound fear of darkness was one proof of it. Every night, in his room, he would leave a light on, terrorized by the idea of being plunged in the darkness when he opened his eyes come morning. And each day, he woke up, embarrassed for having acted like a child and promised himself that he would never do so again. And then at night he once again left his light on. That hell had left much more mental scars on him than physical.
He ran a hand over his green eyes and breathed deeply. He wasn't there to torment himself! Percy sped up and turned a corner. Then, he stepped into a building, went up to the third floor, and stopped in front of a blue door that read number 304. He didn't have his keys, so he raised a fist to knock on the door... and immediately pulled it back down. What was he going to say? "Hey, it's me!" didn't seem at all appropriate. But what else could he do?
Yet another empty smile crept onto the teenager's face as he stared nostalgically at the building that he had known for several years now. It was clean, kept in good condition, close to the shopping district, the neighbors weren't too invasive, and even the janitor was cool. He was the type who would let you go down five flights of stairs on a bike and even provided said bike if you asked for it (it was a long story). This thought brought on a real smile to Percy's face.
It was nice to come home. Especially after all that had happened to him.
You appreciate it even more, Percy thought to himself.
Suddenly, a shrill cry pulled him out of his thoughts. A baby's crying, in fact. It came from inside of his apartment. Percy stopped short and blinked several times, confused.
There were two reasons that could explain this. Number one was that his parents had moved away and that it was the child of another couple living in his apartment. But in that case, Chiron would've warned him.
So the only other explanation was... Percy quickly counted the months in his head. It was far from impossible. He shut is eyes, but they immediately flew back open once he heard voices from inside.
"Honey, would you please tend to your daughter?" asked Sally's voice.
Percy heard footsteps which hid an answer. Said footsteps passed in front of the door, accompanied by a shadow and a child's shrieking.
"There, there, sweet girl. Hush, now, you're safe..."
Paul's voice sounded tired, but it was of an inconceivable gentleness. A soft laugh escaped the older man's lips as the baby cooed happily.
Percy stood there for a moment, frozen, his head pressing against the door, a heavy weight in his chest. Then, he finally forced himself to move. He did a half turn, went up the fire escape, and reached the window that looked over his living room.
The apartment was just as he remembered it. A large, illuminated room decorated in natural, earthy tones, a couch in front of a low wooden and glass table, surrounded by plush armchairs in front of TV. The right side of the room was connected to the kitchen, where he could see a work plan on a table around which were several chairs. In the middle of the room there was large carpet, behind the couch, and in front of the window there was a crib and a small playing area, with a small table and multiple toys. Anything a baby could ever need. Said baby was on the rug, playing with colorful cubes with her father.
Percy observed his stepfather. He'd always thought that Paul kind of looked like a movie star. His salt and pepper hair was messy and his collar was up, but he seemed to be having as much fun as the baby was. When Sally walked back into the living room, Percy had no doubts that she told him the same, because Paul looked offended at first, and then a roguish smile bloomed on Paul's face as he raised his fist and exclaimed, "Baby power!"
Sally burst into a fit of giggles, quickly joined by Paul as the baby cooed some more, clapping her hands happily. Percy observed his mother. Never has he ever seen her so radiant. It made him so happy to see her glowing and full of life. Gone were the years where she struggled to get by. Her brown hair was now cut short and her multicolored eyes would have warmed even the coldest of hearts.
Such a beautiful picture, Percy thought. A shame that there was nobody there to see it...
He should've been happy to have a sister. He should have been jumping for joy that his mother was so happy. However, he wasn't feeling any joy. The feeling surprised him so that it took a while for him to put a name to it. That feeling that mixed sadness with frustration with a pinch of melancholy but without a hint of anger.
Bitterness.
The beautiful picture that he saw... He wasn't a part of it. He propped himself against the railing underneath the window. He knew. Percy knew that he was being horribly selfish. Stupid. Incomprehensible. But nevertheless, this news however happy, had somehow made it so. A tear crawled down his cheek, a result of too much stress, emotion, and information. Too much.
The war had been done for some time now, but the days that followed their victory were spent by him and his friends trying to rebuild the camp, reliving again and again what they had gone through by telling people or in their nightmares.
By going home, he was hoping to be able to rest easy surrounded by his family, thinking back calmly on everything that had happened, and finally letting himself close his eyes thinking of nothing but emptiness. Alas, the family that he had left behind wasn't the same one that he got back.
Suddenly, Percy felt empty, like he was stranded in the middle of the ocean without an anchor that kept him connected to the shore. He'd had enough. He wasn't an invincible hero who could take anything without even blinking an eye. No, Percy was a teenager. A teenager like all others who have found the limits that they could push themselves to. He wanted to forget everything; the present, the future, the past. He wanted to close his eyes and just stop thinking. Percy drowned. He drifted away without anyone to hold him back, and that suited him just fine. He could finally cry in peace, push out his overflowing bottle of emotions and feelings. No one would say anything about it.
Finally, Percy opened his eyes. He was sad, bitter, melancholic. But mostly he was angry. He was angry against himself. He was disgusted for falling apart over something that should've made him happy. He was embarrassed at his reaction and he felt guilty about it. He felt guilty because he knew that he would never ever talk about it. Not to Annabeth, not to anyone.
Later on, he'd call a taxi and go back to camp. He'll flash a radiant smile and tell everyone that everything was fine but that he was tired. This wouldn't surprise anyone seeing as it was late. Annabeth will no doubt be with her half-siblings in the Athena cabin like she often was at this time. Chiron would surely notice that something was wrong, but he won't say anything about it. Same thing for Jason. And the others will let themselves be fooled.
And then, alone in his cabin, Percy would turn on the light as per usual and he'll turn on his side while telling himself that he'd have to confront his parents sooner or later... But just before he'll fall asleep, there would only be one thought on his mind.
Coming home hurt. It hurt a lot.
"... You'll come back
When they call you
No need to say goodbye"
- Regina Spektor, The Call
Aaaaaand done! And there we have it! Thank you to sherytra for letting me translate her wonderful, wonderful story! For those of you who speak French, the link to the original will be on my profile.
Thank you so much for reading. Until next time, lovelies! I love you all to Pluto and back!
~ XxYTTxX
