Never Be the Same

Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin, I wish I did lol

WARNING: Shounen-ai and yaoi

Pairing: Sanosuke/Tsuki

Basic Outlook: What if Sano and Tsuki had got to know each other again, before they went off to blow up buildings?

I glance across the table at him, and I just have to smile. I've never seen Sanosuke drunk before, but it doesn't surprise me that he drinks the same way he does everything else. Even at nine years old, his enthusiasm was something of a joke in our unit. And I, at the vastly superior of fourteen, laughed along with all the others. Not that he ever let it bother him. Once Sano dedicated himself to something there was very little that could sway him from his path.

His laughter recalls my attention, and once more I raise my eyes from my sake to find five girls standing at his side. He laughs again, and speaks to them for a few moments longer before they leave with their own smiles. One of the girls cast a wink toward me and looked at our table, before the girls left our table to go to a different one. I wonder at the gesture, but they were passable enough. And if they were even working in this place...

Why he chose this place is beyond me. Don't get me wrong, I've been more than a few days dives in my day, but this one has to rate high on anyone's list of lows. Believe me, when I suggested that we went out to get a drink, I was thinking more all along the lines like the Akabeko. After all I am paying. Nothing unusual there either. Sano never could keep money. Not that we ever had much, but his seemed to evaporate even before everyone else's did. He catches my questioning gaze and shrugs.

"I told them we didn't need any company. We've got a lotta time to catch up replied.

I nod in agreement with him. That explains the look. She thinks we are together. I let that intriguing thought run around in my head for a moment. I find to have to shift quickly in my seat and banish those speculations immediately. My body's excited response to the vision of Sano naked in my bed catches me off guard, but really, it shouldn't have. After all, one of the first thoughts I had on seeing him again was, 'Oh my god! Look how gorgeous he's grown up to be.'

Then I have to smile again as I look at him. In fact, I've probably smiled more today then I had in a long time. I try to compare the man before me with the boy I knew so many years ago. Gone is the wide-eyed innocence he managed to retain even in the middle of a war. But it had taken me only a few moments of conversation with him to realize he's held that sense of blind loyalty he'd shown to our captain.

However, it had taken him almost ten years to find another person he deems worthy of such steadfast devotion. For an angry moment I wonder what ELSE he had felt toward his red-haired friend. I can hear in his voice, and in his words, what he feels for his friend. I think he probably hasn't even realized it yet that he is in love with this Kenshin. Quickly I bring my jealously under control, somewhat stunned at its passionate depth.

He's telling me of his life, of how he made it through the anger and grief of the betrayal of the Sekihoutai. He doesn't speak of the fear, the pain, the hunger, or any of the other less 'noble' emotions that I know he must have had to deal with.

I was lucky after the slaughter the Ishin Shishi perpetrated on our group. I had a distant relative who agreed to take me in, as long as I helped with the work on the family farm, and stayed hidden should

any stranger pass by. My cousins' wife held no love for me, so the few years I spent with them was no stroll under the cherry blossoms, but I didn't sleep on the cold ground, with an empty belly, as I

suspect no, as I KNOW that Sano had done.

But he had found the determination to survive, and he continues to recount his past to me. He tells me how he had become Zanza, the gangster, with his huge zanbatou.

"You see I used to fight all the time to get stronger, so that I could forgot what happened in the past you told me.

He even told me that he was defeated by the very man he now calls his friend. Suddenly something clicks in my head, as a spirit from the past howls in my memory. Red hair... a facial scar... a sword... Sano looks surprised as I reach across the table to grasp his wrist.

"Is he the legendary manslayer?I asked in a whisper.

He just gave a nod, as he was glad that I put it together myself. So his friend indeed was the legendary Hitokiri Battousai. Or least he used to be... back ten years ago, when those Ishin Shishi bastards betrayed us all. As I sit back in disgusted disbelief, Sano hastens to explain. It seems his friend, Himura Kenshin, has been a Rurouni for years, using a sakabatou as he roamed the countryside,

righting wrongs and dispensing justice. Yeah right. Sounds like a road of horseshit to me, but Sano so insistently wants me to believe it. So I promise him I'll reserve my judgment until I know the man better. We'll see.

He tells me these things, staring down into his cup. I think he knows he can trust me not to betray him, or be disgusted by his admissions. Perhaps he needed to share this burden with someone, but still, I wonder why he felt it necessary to tell me at all. He should know that I won't judge him. After all, I was his best friend for years, and the feelings aroused by seeing him again don't even bear investigation

right now.

Then he tells me of his fight with Kenshin. He recounts how they save each other, and two others, from a madman with a gun, but much more importantly, he tells me of Kenshin's words to him, and how they changed his life...gave him hope for the first time in years.

To my amazement a big fat tear rolls down his face, quickly followed by another. Looking around, I find the room nearly empty. Probably no one will say anything if...

I reach across the table to where his tightly clenched fist lies. I take it and coax his fingers open until it lies flat in mine. As I trace a line across his palm I think that this is the only gesture of comfort I know how to make, but in all honesty, I'm not so sure of my motives. Maybe I was just looking for an excuse to touch him.

I know I'm taking advantage of his vulnerability. He always looked up to me as his older brother. But is what I'm doing so wrong? I want to lift his heart, to banish all the trial and tribulation from his life,

if only for one night. I want to ease his pain, and perhaps bring us both a moment of fleeting joy. I find that I, too, have this overwhelming need to turn away from my own dark plans and schemes for a

while...to let nothing more important that pleasure fill my mind and body until the next rising of the sun.

Still holding his hand, I lift him to his feet. As we meet at the end of the table, I hesitate as I see him swaying on his feet. I knew he was drunk, but perhaps I didn't realize how far gone he is. I think

that maybe I should just take him home, put him to bed, and let him sleep it off. After all, I've done a lot of things in my life, but I've never been accused of rape, and I'm not about to walk down that

road now.

Suddenly he raises his eyes to meet mine, and I see the glistening tracks of his tears down his face. Only two. Even drunk, he didn't allow himself any greater release than that. My free hand rises almost

of it's own volition and my thumb gently traces the wet line down one cheek, and then the other. The heat in his gaze effects me so, and I feel the muscles low in my stomach contract in response. As I release a deep breath, I know he can hear the quiver it contains.

I stand frozen, a victim of the desire coursing my body. My hand falls from his face, but he catches it in his own. Now holding both my hands, he slides a firm grip up to my forearms. Then he smiles at me, dark and dangerous, from under the fringe of his bangs. That smile, and the deep chocolate brown eyes holding mine so intently, speaks to me of wicked indulgence.

He must know the next move is his, because he takes the one step that closes the distance between us. He doesn't press his body against mine, as I would have expected him to. Instead, he teases me with the softest of brushes of his chest against mine, of his thighs against mine, of his... This time my gasp is audible, and it brings a glow of smoldering heat to his eyes as his smile widens.

Suddenly his smile falls away, and his face takes on an indisputable urgency. I watch his throat work as he swallows, and I know what he's going to say before the words leave his mouth. I'm already nodding as he speaks.

"Let's get the hell out of here. Now!

Ignoring the knowing glances of the girls Sano had turned away hours ago, we make our way to the door. Outside, he pauses, and shoots me a questioning look.

"Let's go to your house, Sano.I say, because truthfully, I want to see it. I want that glimpse inside who he is now.

We don't speak as we set off down the street, but we are walking closely enough that occasionally our hips or shoulders brush. I wonder if those touches affect him as they do me. It feels like the middle

of a thunderstorm, when you can feel it, and smell it in the air, and you know you should run, because the lightening is about to strike. But instead you stand, arms thrown wide and face lifted to the warring

heavens above. You revel in the sting of the rain on your face, in the way the wind whips your clothes against your body, in the exhilaration of standing in the presence of death and screaming in it's face. It's all about embracing the wildness that lives inside you, and it's why I've never felt the desire to stand in a gentle spring shower.

I don't even know if I can speak, as I stride along beside this walking elemental force. I find myself having feelings I haven't experienced in years. Fear and anticipation chase each other around in my stomach. Why am I so overwrought? It's hard to explain. It isn't as if he is my first lover, male or female. And it isn't that I'm afraid of him...exactly... It's more that I'm afraid of the cravings he arouses in me. I didn't really get the full effect of it until he gave me that look, and that smile. I wonder if he realizes how potent it is, or if he does it unconsciously. I shiver. If he's doing it without even realizing it, he's even more dangerous than I thought. Unknowing sensuality has always brought me to my knees.

Thank the gods, his home isn't too far away, and we stand before his door only minutes into our walk. He hesitates with his hand on the door, and looks at me again. I am still unable to speak, but I tell

him with my eyes that yes, I want this, I need this, to be here with him tonight. I step close and slide an open palm underneath his jacket. I press my hand to his chest, and feel the rolling thunder of his

heartbeat.

I suddenly realize that he doesn't seem nearly as drunk as he did a few minutes ago. It's amusing to me that it took me a while to notice, but I understand how it happened. My brain was too busy with the

images of what was about to happen to care whether or not Sano was steady on his feet. The sudden return of the mental picture of our naked bodies intertwined is almost more than I can bear, and my fingers curve to press into his warm flesh. I'm finally able to manage one word.

"Hurry!"

That promising smile returns, and at the sight of it I am overwhelmed. He doesn't get more than a single step inside the door before my hand on his shoulder spins him around. I clasp his face in my hands and dive into his mouth the way a man dying of thirst dives into the only water in a hundred miles.

I like to see someones' eyes when I kiss them, so I watch as his eyes widen as my mouth nears his face. I hear his quickly indrawn breath as my lips fasten on his. As my tongue seeks out his, to dance against it, his mouth is quiescent. He isn't fighting me, but he isn't really participating either. Have I missed something?

"Sano.I softly whisper his name in apprehension.

I almost weep with frustration as he steps away from me, and reaches out to slide the door shut. I stand in the dark and listen to his movement around the room. Sudden light hurts my eyes, and I see

he's kindled an old oil lamp and sat it on a wooden box. Still silent, he unrolls his futon and flops down on it. He slips off his shoes and begins to unroll the linen strips he wears on his lower legs. I remain

where he left me, mesmerized by his actions, still caught in the grip of uncertainty.

He stands and shrugs his jacket from his shoulders to hang it on a peg on the wall. As he starts on the bandages on his chest, my only thought is, 'Damn! I wanted to do that.' My single step puts a stop

to all motion, and snaps his head around in my direction. It's too dim in this room to read his eyes, so again I whisper his name. A single word a multitude of questions. What's wrong? What did I do? Have

you changed your mind? Why won't you just let me take you into my mouth, and...?

I quickly shake myself back to the events unfolding before me, and find the bandages completely removed, and Sano untying the belt on his pants. As they start to fall, I close my eyes for a moment. I open them to find him standing before me wearing nothing but his bandanna, and a

breechcloth. I should have known. I smile at that bandanna. I realize what it means, and I wouldn't try to take if off him for the world.

I stand perfectly still as he reaches out to me, letting him lead us at his own pace. He brushes my hair back over my shoulders and cradles the back of my hand with one of his impossibly large hands. His other arm slides loosely around me as he brushes his lips across mine, and slowly slides his tongue into my mouth.

Without thinking about it, I let my arms encircle him in a tight grasp, molding his body against mine. When he freezes, I relax my grip with a mummered apology, and allow my arms to simply curl around him, mirroring his own hold on me. He leans forward and continues to explore my mouth, and soon the hand behind my head is pressing to deepen our kiss. His other arm is urging our bodies more and more tightly together. As the kiss finally ends, and we both come up for air, I take the opportunity to ask if what I suspect is true. His face reddens, but he doesn't let go of me as he answers.

"I have had lovers before but all females... but I never been with a man before. I am certain I want this. I've been interested in that type of love though, to be with another man, but I don't know answered. I'm sure he'll figure that out soon.

"I'm not afraid, just not sure how to replies.

I smile at him, but know that's a lie, but I'll let that pass too even though I can see he's as terrified as he is determined.

"Do you trust me?I asked him.

"Of course I answered.

"Do you trust me in this? If you had been a few years older, I would have shared this with you all those years ago.I tell him.

Those must have been the right words, because he begins to push away my clothes, and soon I'm naked as the day I came into this world. A quick move of my hand, and so is he. Embarrassed, his hands drop to cover across his groin. I simply stand and wait, and soon his hands fall away. I feel my eyes widen and my heart beat a little faster at what he reveals, but I suspect it is better to say nothing. Gods! He

has nothing to be ashamed of.

I take the opportunity to look at him more closely. Although his normal daily attire doesn't leave a great deal to the imagination, I am intrigued at the play of light and shadow across his rippling muscles. He stands still as I tease him by circling around him to get a view from all sides.

His back is as perfect as his chest, both displaying the occasional scar of a hard lived life, but not as many as I would have imagined. His legs are long and slender, their length only accentuated by the

bulges of his calf and thigh muscles. And his backside...if he wasn't so new to this, I would stop to kneed that tempting display with my hands...firm and round, it is possibly one of the finest behinds I have seen on anybody, male or female. In fact, his entire body is a perfect balance of flesh and bone, muscle and beautifully tanned skin. My first instincts had been right, but I wasn't even close to being aware of just how gorgeous he was.

Returning to stand before him, I give him a big grin, designed to set him at ease. Trying to turn the tables on me, he subjects me to the same treatment. Although my body is not the honed muscular perfection that his is, I have no problems in showing myself to him. As he circles behind me, I lift my arms in a stretch, tightening all the muscles up and down the back of my body. I know I make a presentable showing, but I am slightly surprised when Sano gives into the same impulse that I denied.

I stand perfectly still as his hands start at my shoulders and slowly trail a line of fire down, across my waist and lower, to cup my buttocks. I reach back and pull his arms around me as I step back against him, feeling his enormous erection press against my soft flesh. He's just a little taller than me, and he bends his head to nibble at the spot between my neck and shoulder that drives me wild. As his mouth moves, hot and urgent to my ear, I gasp.

"Are you sure you never done this before?I asked jokingly of course.

"Yes I have done this before. Since this the same thing you will do for a man or a answers with a breathless laugh.

It's the...other things...he's unsure of. Oh, yes, the 'other things.' Surely it's time for those things now. His body is proclaiming enough desire for a blind man to see, and I know I was ready for him as soon as we stepped through the door.

Keeping hold of his hand as I move,I step toward the futon. He accompanies me without hesitation. I drop to my knees on the soft cushion, and stop him as he attempts to follow suit. I look up at him

as I press my cheek against his groin, and I feel his muscles clench as he inhales sharply. His hands tighten on my shoulders as I slide my hand up his thigh to gently massage his testicles. I bend to take first one, and then the other deeply into my mouth, massaging him gently with

my tongue.

Continuing to caress him, I move my mouth higher, and begin to lick the long, hard length of his penis. I stretch up to take the velvet smooth tip of his rigid shaft into my mouth. After a moment his knees buckle and he collapses to the futon before me.

A gentle shove convinces him to stretch out and let me continue my worship of his manhood. I position myself at his side, fling my hair back over one shoulder, and again engulf his penis. I continue to

stroke and massage his testicles as I try to work the length of him as deeply into my mouth as possible. His sounds of enjoyments heighten my own pleasure, as do the caresses he is lavishing on my body.

Suddenly he builds up his courage, and for the first time, his palm ventures from my back, shoulder and thigh to my penis. He fumbles for a moment, uncertain of himself, before his hand recognizes the

familiarity of my shape. After all, every person knows how to best please themselves, and our bodies are so very much alike. I groan around him as he finds the precise rhythm. But it isn't enough. He

jerks his hand away as I release him, and frown. I hasten to assure him that he's done nothing wrong. I simply wanted more.

"I MUST have you inside of me, now!I explain.

"Won't it hurt?Sanosuke asked.

"We need this.I told him, he looks to me very thoughtful.

Then he sets aside the lamp and reaches into the wooden box beside the futon. As he takes out an oil out of the box.

"One of my past girlfriend's gave this bottle to me of oil. She used it to keep her hands explains to me then hands me the bottle.

"It should be fine.I agree.

I motion him to his knees and I assume the same position. My penis brushes against his, and we both halt our actions for a moment, intrigued at the sensation. After our slight hesitation, we rub ourselves together again, this time on purpose.

"Do you need any help getting that damn bottle open?Sanosuke asked me with a growl.

I finally succeed at getting to the contents of the bottle, and then my shaking hands manage to pour oil all over both of us. Unsteadily I set the bottle on the floor beside the futon, and our hands brush

as each of us reaches to slide a lingering caress along the oil-slick length of the other. Suddenly he withdraws his hands, and circles to kneel beside me. I welcome his urgency, feeling it myself, and I fall

forward, bracing myself on my outreached hands.

As I try to relax my body, and let myself open to him, I whisper encouragement. I don't think he hears me anymore. He's lost now in the same dangerous desire that I have been caught up in. He is gentle,

but very resolute as he works himself slowly into my body. Thank the gods for the oil. Because of his size, I think we could never have done this without it. I whimper as he moves further and further into me. I'm not so confident anymore that I can take it all, but something within keeps urging me back against him. And suddenly...it's done. He's fully sheathed inside me.

I groan, and my muscles spasm as they learn to accept his presence in my body. Then he starts to move. Very slowly he pulls almost all the way out of me, and then carefully he thrusts back inside. Our cries are in unison at the sensation.

"Should I stop?Sanosuke asks.

"If you leave me now, I will kill you.I answer very serious in a matter of fact.

He manages something between a groan and a laugh. Silly boy. He thinks I'm joking. His hand slides around my waist to grasp my aching cock, still slick with oil. As he begins a slow and steady rhythm inside me, his hand copies it exactly. The sensation is incredible. He mummers into my ear as he bends over me, that it seems like a forbidden pleasure almost as if he were touching himself.

I am beyond speech now, and can only moan at the feelings that are building inside me. His hand is doing amazing things to me. At the height of each stroke, he rubs his thumb around the incredibly

sensitive tip of my penis. The sensation should be too much, the touch too intense, but I am so far gone in passion that I only welcome the pleasure-pain. It's urging me closer and closer to release. I

have the sudden realization that this is how he pleasures himself, and I fight to hold on, to make it last just a little longer as the vision snatches at me with white hot claws of lust.

I can't help it...I whimper as I try to prolong the sensations. My body arches, and I throw my head back. Sano catches my hair and winds it around his fist. He writhes against me, and his hand wrapped around

me pounds against my body in a relentless dance of pleasure.

I can feel the storm coming. I can hear the rumble of thunder in our heartbeats. I can feel the spatter of rain as our bodies run with sweat. I hear the howl of wind in our gasping breaths. And then...

lightening strikes. Our orgasms are so close to each other that they are almost simultaneous. In the storm that is our passion, he screams our Kenshin's name, and wonder why he didn't say mine.

My body collapses as I fight to control of my emotions. For just a few heartbeats he collapses on top of me, then he realizes what he's done. He carefully extricates himself from my body, causing me to shiver against the removal of his warmth. Then the apologies begin.

"I don't know why I said his name. I don't feel nothing for him, NOTHING!Sanosuke tells me as he cries.

I'm not sure if it is the overwhelming emotional release of the sex that is causing his tears, or if he has suddenly seen into his own heart. Either way, it doesn't keep me from trying to comfort him. Actually, I'm afraid I understand all to well. I realize that I feel the same depth of emotion that Sano does. I am in love with Sano, and Sano is in love with...him. Gods, what a joke! He's probably in love with some woman who'll never appreciate him. So much for taking away our pain tonight. We have both only managed to add to it.

He fights my sympathy for a little while, trying to push away my hands and stop my words. But finally I manage to get him to lie down, and I hold him as he falls asleep. As I hold him I wonder at my own feelings for him, that have formed and escalated so quickly.

This can be a crush, I try to convince myself. This can simply be infatuation. Or perhaps it is just because we have a shared history that few could understand. Perhaps that's what makes us so close...

I try to rationalize my feelings, but my heart is brave enough to admit the truth, even if my brain tries to fight it. I love him, and I feel that somehow my life will be forever changed because of this night.

Exhaustion overcomes me, so I blow out the lamp and wrap myself around my lover in the sudden darkness. Just as I doze off, I hear Sano sob Kenshin's name once more in his sleep as I gather him close.

"Kenshin...!"

It's the noise of the front door sliding closed that wakes me, although it take me a moment to figure out what the sound was. I realize that Sano isn't beside me, and I wonder why he's up so early. By the dim

light in the room, I calculate that it must be close to dawn. That means we've only been sleeping a few hours. Suddenly a sneaking suspicion overcomes me, and I have to know...

Pulling the blanket around myself, I step to the door. I'm pleased to find it open a few inches, so I can peer outside. The sight that greets me is pretty much what I thought it would be.

Sano stands, dressed in only his pants, talking to a short man with a mop of red hair almost as big as he is. Himura Kenshin, the former Hitokiri Battousai. His voice is amazingly soft and musical in the quiet morning. Sano's voice is so different...like a rumble of distant thunder. And that thought brings back my stormy fantasy from the night before. My emotions change from curiosity to something less virtuous as I realize I'm looking at my rival, my enemy in more ways than one.

Almost as if he can feel my animosity his eyes whip toward me, and find me through the small aperture. The sudden hardness in his gaze doesn't surprise me. It's about what I had expected. Suddenly his attentions return to Sano, and he resumes his mask of harmlessness as he answers a question. I'm not fooled...not for one second. This is one very dangerous man. No wonder Sano is drawn to him so.

Sano re-enters the room to find me sitting on the futon, still draped in the blanket. He stops nervously just inside the door, and rubs the back of his head with his hand. That's a gesture I remember so well.

It portrays Sano in his moments of greatest discomfort.

"That was Kenshin, he wanted me to go to the dojo with him. But I told him I was busy...Sanosuke tells me.

"Its none of my business what you two talked about. As long as you are okay.I tell him.

I hold up my hand to stop the faltering explanations. I'm rather proud of myself, and my magnanimous gesture. Of course,I don't tell him that Kenshin knew exactly what he was busy at, after seeing me at the door wearing only a blanket. I definitely don't tell him that I may have let the blanket gape open a little...just enough to show I was naked underneath it. Hey, this is a war I'm fighting here,

and who better than the Battousai to know that you can't always follow

the rules if you want to win.

I reach out a hand to Sano, and I'm gratified when he takes it without any uncertainty. I pull him down on the mattress beside me, and still he doesn't resist. So far so good. Now for the real test. I lean

forward and give him a light kiss.

"Good morning Sano.I tell him.

"I thought you didn't want me anymore...Sanosuke explained in confusion toward me.

"I still do want you, I am here now aren't I?I assured him.

A wide grin splits his face. He's glad he's not the only one, he admits. He was beginning to feel like a pervert. We share a laugh, but merriment is soon put aside, as are blankets and clothing, and we begin again the exploration of each others' bodies. As I hungrily go down on him, he moans and after a few moments he calls out my name softly. Lifting my head to answer him, I meet his sheepish grin.

"I want to do this for you, Tsuki. But I don't want you to replied.

"Are you comfortable with this?I ask him as I laughed.

As I position myself above his face. His only answer is to take me into his mouth and give me the same loving attention I am showing him. That is one of the benefits of having a partner of the same gender. You tend to do to them what you want done, or what you actually do to yourself. An attentive lover can use that to their advantage, and to your ultimate satisfaction. I must say, Sano is a VERY attentive lover. I pause for a moment, lost in the sensation of his mouth on me, until a thrust of his hips recalls me to my duty. I grin mischievously. Sano isn't the only attentive one here. I run my thumb and my tongue around the very tip of his penis, and I'm rewarded when I hear and feel the sounds making their way past my cock, and out of his mouth.

The loving isn't so frantic today, but it's just as intense, and we both soon find our release. As we snuggle under the blanket for a while longer, lost in the blissful glow of our orgasms, we both drift

back off to sleep.

I slowly swim closer to consciousness, as I reach up to swat at the fly that is buzzing around my face. My pillow shakes, and the fly returns to tickle my nose. As I clumsily wave my hand in front of my face again, a soft giggle escapes my pillow. Wait a minute...

As I awake fully for the second time that day, I look up to see Sano leaning over me. I find that he is my pillow, with my head resting on his arm, and my body pressed against his. The giggle that finally

woke me was caused by Sano's entertainment while I was sleeping. He is finding it very amusing to tickle me with a lock of my hair, which he is trailing across my face. For a moment we're boys again, and we roll and tumble on the floor. The game doesn't last long, however, and soon he turns grave again. As we rearrange ourselves in our bed, he asks me some serious questions.

"What do you want Tsuki? Where is your life going? What are you trying to find?Sanosuke asked me.

I just lay there quietly, unwilling to contemplate my own life, or my motives right now.

"Kenshin told me that he doesn't believe that the new era has dawned yet. I want to be able to bring peace you know. I had to deal with young pickpockets and dealing with a local crime lord whom held a lady doctor prisoner. Then me and Kenshin met up with the told me.

I am overcome again with the conviction that the Battousai hasn't given up his old ways. How else could they have prevailed? As he recounts their accomplishments I see the passion glowing in his eyes. I begin to understand how it is that he has been drawn to the side of a former enemy. Uneasily I wonder how my upcoming plans will affect him. For a moment I envy him his ability to move forward. It's certainly more than I have been able to do...

"I promised to meet Kenshin at the Akabeko for lunch. Its almost time for me to get readySanosuke gave a nod.

As I rise and dress, I try to hide my bitterness with casual conversation, but I think he knows how I feel. He rises and pulls me into a tight hug.

"You can come along, suggested.

But I'm not quite ready to have lunch with the Battousai just yet. I can see that he's a bit relieved, and that hurts me even more. I slowly make me way to the door and walk out and walk down the street to the public baths, I know that what we shared is no small thing. No matter what he feels for Kenshin, there is an undeniable place in his heart for me too. That makes me smile one last time. Maybe it will be enough for now... I'm not sure. The only thing I am sure about is, now that Sano is back in it, my life will never be the same. NOTES: 1. This story is told in the first person, and the views expressed are the ones I feel the narrator would have. They aren't necessarily my views, so DON'T send me flames for my portrayals of other characters. Constructive criticism, however, is ALWAYS welcome. 2. This one is for my new Demoness friends, and especially for Meimi, the Demoness who is my Muse. All hail, and bow low before her greatness! ^_^ Kathy: Thanks for this lovely chapter