"No! Get away from me you fucking asshole!" Hidan struggled under the impending weight of his father, trying and failing to get away. The older man raised his fist and crunched it onto the pillow beside his son's head.

"Do not use that language around me Hidan. I am your father and therefore it is your sole duty to cater to my every need and to treat me with respect and to do all that I say." The young zealot's eyes misted over, struggling to dam the tears building up behind his lashes. He would not cry. Not this time.

Lavender eyes rolling back into his head, the inevitable flashback began:

******************************************************************************************

"Daddy, the guys at school all laughed me because I don't wear boxers. Can I please have some?" A five-year-old Hidan asked his father, a then respectable, almost middle-aged man who had lost his wife five months earlier to an accident. Before she had died, she had made her son wear Huggies-Pull-Ups because he would have nightmares occasionally that caused him to wet the bed. She had meant to buy him underwear before he started Kindergarten, but she stopped breathing before she had the chance.

"Boys who kill their mother don't get the luxury of wearing underwear." The older man sputtered angrily, exiting the room. His son just stared after him, tears pooling up in his eyes before spilling over. The wet saltwater created dusty tracks running down the boy's dusty face, beginning to carve the grooves that would never go away.

******************************************************************************************

He was only thirteen, almost fourteen, and already he had been r-r-r (he couldn't even form the word in his mind) thirty-seven times. Since the ripe old age of seven anyway, when he'd began to keep track, carving a line on the soft underside of his right wrist the second it ended and his father went back into his own room.

It wasn't a big deal, his cutting, like it was for most people. Because, you see, Hidan couldn't die from blood-loss. He had a rare condition called Cannoncrudusutnex. It quite simply meant that he created blood cells so fast and so efficiently that he could never run out of the life-giving-substance that carried oxygen to his cells. The only known side-effect was that he was really pale, and couldn't gain weight to save his life. (That and the extra blood made it impossible for him not to blush when embarrassed. Which was really noticeable because he was so pale) But he didn't want to die, why would he when if he did, nothing would change?

He loved that kind of pain, the outside, physical sort that kept him tied to this earth. According to the Oxford English Dictionary that made him a masochist. Actually having a group of people that he fit into (even if he did not know them) made him happy in a sick way. That's how he found his religion, Jashinism. A religion pretty much devoted to masochism.

But this kind of pain, what his so-called father was putting him through, was not the kind he enjoyed suffering through. In fact, this kind was completely awful.

Before he could draw his forty-third breath, the older man's weight was gone, and he was out of Hidan's room and stumbling drunkenly to his own.

Curling up into a little ball, he reached underneath his pillow for his commonly-used razor blade. Shaking he took it in his left hand and pressed it to the soft, unmarked skin of his shoulder. Thirty-eight. The fifth time that week, the third deepest cut yet. He couldn't stay in that house a moment more. He had to get away, leave. Breakaway from the tight atmosphere that was destroying him from the inside.

Break away from the truth that was defining who he was as a person, as a Jashinist, and as his mother's son.

---------------------------------------------------------

Just so you know, Cannoncrudusutnex is not a real disease. (As far as I know) It's just something that I made up using the latin phrase 'Cannot bleed to death' or something like that. Hidan and Jashin are Masashi Kishimoto's, but Yuu (father) and Yuriki (mother) are mine. If you know of, or are being abused in any way, go to .org they will help.