Title: The Aquadude Rap

Author: E.A. Week

E-mail: eaweek at hotmail-dot-com

Summary: Just a silly filk I thought up while I was swimming.

Category: Filks.

Feedback: Letters of comment are always welcome! Loved it? Hated it? Send me an email and let me know why!

Source: This is not "set to the tune of" any song in particular, just a general rap beat. Because I'm a child of the eighties, I imagine this being performed by Run-DMC or the Beastie Boys.

Rating: This filk is rated T for mild language and references to drugs and drinking.

With special thanks to everyone in my master's class for being so funny and supportive!

The Aquadue Rap

Yo, babes and dudes, the name's Michael Phelps

I got more bling than any body else

I'm the chlorine king, and I'll tell you why:

I got a hundred world records in the butterfly

I got a smokin' free, and my IM rocks

I got so much gold, it's like I own Fort Knox

I swam in Sydney, Athens, baby, and Beijing

Won eight gold medals; showed Spitz a thing

I been on Leno, Letterman, and MTV

And I'm the poster child for NBC

My deal with AT&T, baby, keeps me paid

(Hey, Mom, I wrecked the Escalade!)

I got the Ray-Ban shades and the CK jeans

And the babes all dig my size fourteens

I'm a rappin' dude; I got gangsta cred

I got a DUI hangin' on my head

I got a South Carolina sheriff on my ass

'Cuz down with the homies I was smokin' grass

But that's okay, I'm just an average guy:

I love my dog, my mom, and apple pie

Anyway, this is just for fun

'Cuz we all know it, Michael, you are number one!

(Okay, apologies for the extreme silliness: MP really is number one!)