A/N: HELLO THERE! I'D JUST LIKE TO SAY THAT THIS STORY WAS IN FACT MEANT TO BE POSTED BY A FRIEND OF MINE (WE WORKED TOGETHER TO WRITE IT), BUT HER ACCOUNT WON'T ACTIVATE, MOST LIKELY DUE TO THE EMAIL PROBLEMS. SO I SAID I WOULD POST IT.
DISCLAIMED: NEITHER I, NOR ROSE, OWN HETALIA. IF WE DID, THERE WOULD BE A LOT MORE YAOI (SAD, BUT TRUE) :P
WARNING: CONTAINS SEX REFERENCES AND YAOI. PAIRINGS ARE FRUK AND GIRIPAN (REFERENCE ONLY). HUMAN NAMES USED (FOR THOSE WHO WANT TO KNOW, "KYLE" IS AUSTRALIA).
Alfred F. Jones was just one of those boys. He had a muddled up family, a muddled up name, and a muddled up life. With two brothers, neither with the same father as him, and a middle name that even his mother had forgotten, he was pretty sure that that wasn't an overstatement.
Still, he'd never expected to be having this conversation.
"You want to give me to explain what?"
Starting at the beginning, this would all make a lot more sense. You see, Alfred had information from his close friend Kyle – Australian accent, double points with Alfred – who had been told by Carlos Machado, who's friend Lukas had overheard Toris and Feliks discussing what Natalia had supposedly seen Heracles Karpusi and Kiku Honda doing things behind the bins at school – "you know, the big black ones that students only go near to have s-e-x?"
But something about the story had made Alfred more than a little confused. Kiku and Heracles were both male, and the twelve-year-old mind that was the small Americans couldn't comprehend how exactly they had manage to pull of that act. However, the two were also substantially older at the age of seventeen, almost eighteen in the case of the Greek. Maybe they knew some secret that could only be discovered as you got older?
But that really didn't help, because Alfred wanted to know now! With last months pocket money at stake, along with his favourite toy alien, he had little choice but to figure out how this was done.
And that led to him sitting outside of his brother's door, listening to him and his friend discussing the goings-on. He could only see a sliver through the crack. His brother sat on the desk chair, spinning it around in an almost bored manner that seemed to be relieving frustration.
"You don't really think they did it, do you, Francis?" asked the oddly quiet English teenager.
There was a pause, before the other responded. "Well… I don't see why they wouldn't have. It might be 'risky' as you put it earlier, but Herc will be in college next year, non? And Kiku will not be. They might not have another chance."
"They'll last," the younger boy disagreed.
"I'm not so sure… Do you know where Heracles is going for college? He was telling me earlier. It's well over a hundred miles away, and Kiku can't drive, so…"
Alfred sighed, pulling his knees up to his chest. At the same time, his head fell down into a more relaxed position. This was so boring! Couldn't they get to the point already?
"I had to be blowing, nothing else."
What the hell? Alfred's head shot up. That sentence doesn't even make sense!
The Frenchman just laughed. "I don't know, Angleterre, it could very easily have been something else."
"Fifteen minutes, Francis." Arthur sounded rather disbelieving. "If you're telling me that they managed to do all that in fifteen minutes, then I want to know why you're considered to be the one of the 'romantic ones' of the school."
"'Romantic ones'? Isn't it generally considered that I'm the opposite?" Francis laughed. Alfred could practically hear his older half-brother roll his eyes in response. "I was merely pointing out that fifteen minutes is plenty of time for something a little more interesting that just a blow job."
There was a weird shifting on the ground that sounded almost like someone crawling along the floor. Out of the corner of his eye, Alfred could see Arthur plant his feet on the ground, stopping his chair from spinning.
"If that gesture means what I think it does, you can piss off, Frog."
The Frenchman chuckled again, muttering "eyebrows" like nothing else needed to be said.
Arthur huffed, looking towards the area where the ceiling connected to the wall, just above the door. Alfred shrunk back, scared he would be spotted by the green-eyed boy. Then, after a subtle pause, Arthur nodded.
Francis must have knocked something as he stood up, as there was a rather loud thump!, causing the Brit to look sideways. Alfred took his chance to glance around the door, watching as his brother spun to face his friend. What were they doing? By the look of it, the older of the two – Francis – was moving to kneel on Arthur's feet, facing up at him with two blue eyes.
Then Francis' hands went to Arthur's pants.
Twisting around like lightening, Alfred pressed his back against the wall next to the door. That was… not something he'd seen coming.
From inside the room, Arthur groaned. The American blushed a little, feeling an undying curiosity (and something else, though he had yet to notice) rising up inside of him. He wanted to know, didn't he? Well, by the sounds of things, this would be his chance to find out the real way that men did the deed…
Still a little unsure, he glanced back around the door. He couldn't be serious, could he? He wasn't going to do this. He wasn't.
He so, totally was.
Glancing around the corner, he couldn't exactly tell what was happening. At the age of thirteen, Alfred was a still completely unaware of the methods involved in sex. The basic idea – yeah, sure, that was something you learn in biology lessons. But everything else? They just didn't discuss it. (Well, actually, they did, but poor little Alfie hated the idea of looking stupid so much he'd never bothered to ask…)
Arthur had his head thrown back, while Francis had his head pressed against the younger's crotch. The Brit had his jeans open, but his underwear was still on. Alfred had no idea why, but something about the whole scene made him both feel a little sick, and at the same time, tingle all over.
What kind of messed up fuck was he?
It was probably at that moment, with his face bright red and mouth hanging open, that Alfred tempted fate into torturing him.
Two green eyes met two blue ones as Arthur pushed past the layer of endorphins clouding his vision.
"ALFRED!"
Matthew had been perfectly happy, sitting in his room, up until that moment. From across the hall, he could hear his older brother yelling, and his younger brother's frantic footsteps. From somewhere behind those voices, there was that familiar French accent that the Canadian found to be so completely common in there home.
Lifting himself out of the swivel chair next to his and his brother's desk, the bespectacled boy headed over to the door. Pulling it open and stepping out into the hallway, what could only be described as a blond bullet ran straight into him. If it wasn't for the fact he was an avid ice-hockey player, he probably would have hit the deck.
"Sorry, Mattie!" Alfred yelled, despite the closeness, as he stood up and continued running.
A second after he got to the stairs, Arthur shot around the corner, trying to pull up his fly. This time, Matthew managed to step back against the wall. The other blond followed the youngest of the family down the stairs, as the middle child just stood and stared. A shadow came up behind him, but the Canadian didn't even blink. He definitely knew who it was.
"They make an interesting pair, non?" the older boy asked. "Très drôle, oui?"
Matthew nodded. "Oui. Mes frères sont les idiots," he added to the end without thinking.
Francis gave the boy an odd look, before putting a hand on the younger's shoulder. For a minute, Matthew almost left it there, before he pushed it away and jumped back. The Frenchman gave him a rather confused look.
"Is there a problem, Mathieu?" he asked, crouching down to his level. Obviously Francis thought there was something the matter with him, or just that he was being a whiny teenager.
Matthew shot him a glare. "I do not want that hand on me, all things considering."
The other blinked. "All things considering?" he asked, not quite sure where this statement was coming from.
"You know what I mean."
But, sadly, Francis didn't. After all, he'd known Matthew since he was a small child, and he could hardly believe that he was saying this. "Mathieu… I know that there are probably some people telling you that things like this are wrong, but I would never put you in that position. I am happily in a relationship, and if someone has said something about the fact I have been you tutor since you were un petit infant... They are just being stupid. While I do not feel that you are anything but a little brother, you have to remember that l'amore overrides all things, including gender."
Matthew just gave the Frenchman a look of incredulity. That was what he got from this conversation.
"Ew! No! I just meant that I knew what you'd been doing with my brother, and didn't want it anywhere near me! Freaking gross, eh!"
Francis paused, watching as the boy shook his head back and forth, blond hair bouncing around two blue eyes. Then, without really knowing why, he burst out laughing.
And Matthew glared.
And that just made it all the more humorous.
When Alfred finally escaped the lecture prepared ever so kindly by his older brother, all he could think about doing was crashing on the soft mattress of his brothers bed and staying there.
Then he remembered something.
"I tell you what, if you can find out by tomorrow how it works, I'll give you a month's pocket money."
"And you Captain America action figure?"
"Only if you'll give me your alien when you loose."
"Give you Tony? … Alright, deal."
Oh, right.
The door to their room was closed, but Alfred knew that walking in would not be an issue.
Well, that was, until his brother jumped to close whatever browser window he had open. "H-Hey, Alfie…"
The American just paused. "Do I want to know what you were just watching?"
The older of the two quickly went bright red. "I- It was just one of the videos. You know, from when my M-Mum and D-Dad were still…" he trailed off, but Alfred didn't need him to finish. He could never forget the circumstances that brought his 'twin' brother into the family he'd grown up with.
Smiling at the other boy, he went to sit on the bottom bunk. "It's okay, dude. No one expects you to love us, or anything."
If anything, that seemed to make Matthew worse. "I- I don't mean that I don't- I do lo- I don't get- Why is that-"
Alfred quickly held up his hands, gesturing for the other boy to stop. "Okay, I have no idea what you were trying to say there, but I wasn't trying to offend you. Still, maybe you might want to speak up a little?"
Matthew just nodded, looking away from his brother completely. From what Alfred could tell, the wall had become so much more interesting.
A rather awkward silence was beginning to settle on them. Alfred grabbed a pillow from his brother's bed, hugging it close to his chest as he waited for the other to speak. It wouldn't end well if he was the one who had to break the silence.
It seemed like almost an hour before the other boy spoke (actually, it was closer to ten minutes, but Alfred has the attention span of a… well, something with a very small attention span).
"So, how did you get away from Arthur?"
Alfred just shrugged. "I waited for the lecture to finish, but he actually stopped halfway through. After all, I'm the hero, and heroes don't get lectured!" By the end of the sentence, he'd jumped up into a hero pose. Matthew just rolled his eyes.
"You mean Francis saved you by inviting Arthur around to his house?"
"No! Heroes don't need saving. He was just… being my sidekick! Yeah!"
Alfred was no impressed by the look on his brother's face, but he said nothing. "Alright, alright, just stop it with the eyes already!"
Matthew just laughed. "Was there something you wanted, Alfred?"
Three blinks. "Erm, I live in this room as well, you know. I didn't realise I had to have permission to enter."
"No! I meant when you were spying on Arthur, you idiot! Though, it would be nice if you knocked sometimes…"
Alfred chose to ignore that statement. Instead, he realised that he had a golden opportunity.
"Actually, big brother," he stood, smiling in a way that could only mean that he wanted something. "I do have something to ask you…" A few steps forward, still looking rather manic. "If you wouldn't mind…" And, with that, he bent forward to ask the one question he'd wanted answering all day…
…
…
…
"You want me to explain what?"
