Resa leaned against the tree and stared out across the tiny pond near camp. What, by all that the Maker held dear, had she managed to get herself into? She snorted and shook her head. Fergus would have found this beyond funny. In fact, she could hear him now. "Father leaves you in charge of the castle and you become a Grey Warden raising an army to take down the Blight and quell a civil war? Well done, little sister. And here I was just worried that you had snuck Lady Landry's son into your bed chamber again." She swallowed hard against the lump in her throat at the thought of her brother.
"Resa?"
She sighed and looked up, seeing Alistair in the fading light, "What?"
"Wynne sent me to look for you. You've been out here for a while."
She looked away as he sat down beside her, "I needed to think without being distracted."
Alistair said nothing as he stared at her. Resa groaned, "What? What do you want from me? Isn't it enough I'm leading this rag-tag band? Isn't it enough I agreed to Duncan's scheme and left my family to die? Isn't it enough I'm walking quietly into a suicide mission?"
"You don't seem very quiet right now."
She gaped at him, "Surely you are not joking with me right now, are you? Because I didn't think you were that stupid."
"No, I'm poking you a bit. There's a big difference. Joking would be trying to get you to laugh. Poking is trying to make you boil over just like you did," Alistair moved to sit against the side of the tree, nudging her into sharing, "You've been quiet ever since we left Redcliffe. Quiet and cranky. It seemed to me, you had something on your mind and you needed to get it out."
"Dammit," she sighed and shook her head, "I don't know what to think any more. I have to keep up the façade of believing in this," Resa stopped, breaking off a piece of grass and rubbing it between her fingers, "Alistair, I'm scared. I'm scared of what everyone thinks when they look at me. I don't have all of the answers. I don't even know the questions."
"Duncan once told me that only good leaders have doubts."
"Then I must be a damned fine one because I'm doubting everything."
Alistair chuckled, "I'm not going to disagree," he tapped a finger against her knee, "You have more experience leading than I do and you're using that experience to our benefit. You learned from your father and brother the realities of being in battle as a commander. You know it's not easy. You will have to make decisions that could get some of us hurt or worse," he paused as Resa shuddered, "And you know, in your heart, that you will make the decisions coldly because that's what you have to do. You'll mourn, but after."
Resa hugged her knees to her chest, "What is it you always tell Wynne, oh yes," she finally cocked her head to look at him, "I hate you. You're a bad person."
Alistair laughed as he stood up, "There's the Resa I know. Ready to come back to camp yet?"
A smile hovered at the edges of her lips, "Not quite. I think I have another fifteen minutes of feeling sorry for myself left."
"Well, if you're late, I'm telling Morrigan that she's got the face of a Mabari's back end just to see what happens."
Resa groaned and stood slowly, "Fine, fine, I'm coming. The last thing we need is for the heir to the throne to be a damned frog. I don't know if they make crowns that small."
