HIDAMARI SKETCH : DARK KALEIDOSCOPE

Hiro was beginning her day as usual. However, something was not in place. It took Hiro a moment to realize that her stove had not started the burner she had selected. There was no clicking and she also did not hear the hiss that always preceded the fire.

Hiro turned the knob a few more times with no response from the stove. She tried the other burners; they remained silent also. Although she knew that it was useless, she turned on the oven and opened its door to listen. A complete washout; her stove was not going to work right now.

Hiro knew that Miyako would be up already and called her on her cell phone. Miyako was quick with the answer, "My stove is working. You must have a mystery on your hands." Hiro thanked her and hung up.

"I'll just have to cook over at Sae's this morning and call the landlady," was her plan.

That late afternoon, the landlady showed up with a repairman.

"You have already done as much trouble-shooting as I could," she said matter-of-factly. She took the repairman to Hiro's stove. All the girls of Hidamari waited in Sae's place, chatting about school.

After about ten minutes, the landlady was saying good-bye to the repairman as she entered Sae's place. "I'm coming in," she announced as she pulled out her pack of cigarettes. She almost had a cigarette out but thought twice and put it away.

"Sorry about that…" she began. "I mean, I'm really sorry… about the stove."

"What? Is it too big of a mystery?" spouted Miyako.

Sighing, Landlady replied, "No, the trouble is that he knows exactly what's wrong with it. Oi." The girls waited in silence; the landlady was visibly upset, which was not usual at all.

"It turns out that a very small inexpensive part has worn out, some kind of safety valve…"

Now question marks were popping out from the girls' heads.

"However, the manufacturer of these stoves," she explained, pointing to Sae's stove as an example, "designed the safety valves as part of the some main assembly to save costs. It's why they were so cheap to buy in the first place. So now, to replace this little part, you have to replace that main assembly. And that thing costs almost as much as a whole other stove."

Sae piped up, "But now you have all six of the apartments rented. You said that you were going to be able to have things easier because of that."

The landlady pulled her cigarette pack back out, realized what she was doing, and said something under her breath to herself.

"Yean, that was kind of true… but I haven't been entirely frugal with my new fortune. I just do not have the money available to take care of this right now."

Hiro raised her hand as if she were in class and without waiting, she said, "Don't worry about it. I can just use Sae's stove. She's just right next door and I am over here all the time already. I don't want you to suffer because of me. I have probably been using my stove too much. I am always cooking… for all of us. I probably am at fault here for this."

Landlady smiled at Hiro and shook her head, "No, no, no. You didn't make this happen. The repairman told me that it was just a matter of time before this part gives out." A light went on above her head and she reacted with her palm to her forehead. "Oh… that means three more stoves will be going out of commission in the next few months…"

All the girls' faces fell. Things had just gone from mildly inconvenient to a near disaster in just one moment. The landlady popped a cigarette in her mouth but did not light it. "Hey, hey, now. This is not your problem. I am the one who has to make things right. I'll get some kind of deal from the commercial supply store. It'll all work out.

"Sae, will you be all right with Hiro using your stove for now? I'll be working to get this all handled as soon as possible." She pulled out her lighter with her usual ease and readied to light up, prompting the girls that things would be okay.

Sae hardly hesitated, "Of course she can. She's already doing so much for me…" She stumbled on her words, "I mean, she's so much better at cooking than I am…"

Hiro chimed in, rescuing Sae from herself, "This will be just fine. After all, we're all friends here and I'll make it up to you, Sae."

Sae flustered even more than she already was, "No need to do that."

Miyako added, "It's all for one and one for all! Especially when the one who is cooking is Hiro."

And that was the signal for all to laugh… even the landlady.


Sae had barely sat down at the usual table, taking out her portfolio, when Naoi, her editor, showed up.

"She's never been this early before," thought Sae. Her stomach tightened as the possibilities tore through her mind.

"Good morning," she managed to say without excessive hesitation and only a little waver in her voice.

"Why am I being so nervous about this? Her arriving early doesn't have to mean anything," was her counsel to herself.

"Good morning, Sae. I see that you have just got here. I'll order…" the Editor spoke fluidly, seeing that the waitress was doing her best to arrive in time.

"Two iced coffees. Is that all right with you, Sae?" Naoi asked unnecessarily yet out of politeness.

"Yes, that's fine. Thank you," Sae returned, glad for cut-and-dried conversation. She was able to smoothly bring out her portfolio and hand it to the editor.

"Let me see what you have for me," Naoi added as a formality, taking the portfolio from Sae. The editor immediately fell silent as she began to read Sae's work. Moments later, the waitress slipped the coffees onto the table and seeing that the editor was engrossed in reading, turned to Sae for a cue.

"Th-thank you," Sae stuttered. Always before, Naoi would acknowledge the service even if she was reading or was on the phone. The waitress left the table where Sae was again assailing her mind with thoughts like sparks.

"Here's another thing that she's never done before. What's going on? Am I in trouble? Am I thinking too much about this? Why do I feel guilty? Do I feel guilty?" These things cascaded, making Sae begin to blush. She reached a bit quickly for her cup and brought it to her mouth a bit unceremoniously. Her editor did not react; she was concentrating on Sae's writing.

Now it was just getting more frustrating; as usually, Naoi would have broken away from reading by now to make some nonchalant chit-chat. However, she went on, her eyes moving rhythmically. Sae turned her cup on its saucer as if to align it properly. She was running out of polite things to do as she waited. She couldn't bring herself to look around casually or look for something in her purse.

Sae dared to scan her editor's face for some clue, making sure that she didn't look into her eyes. And there it was: a clue. A tear on her cheek, which only flummoxed Sae more.

"What is going on? Is she crying? Has something bad happened in her life? Maybe it isn't me," Sae pondered, then mentally slapped herself. "No, I can't want relief by hoping her ill will." Sae's face was again beginning to flush; but she had to remain composed because it all might be nothing at all. She went to lift her cup for another sip but bumped it slightly instead.

Sae took in a breath, foreseeing a minor disaster that she could really do without right now. Somehow, her reflexes saved the moment as she opened her hand slightly to fully grasp the cup. Naoi finally looked up, noting the incident.

"Just trying to warm my hand a little," Sae blurted without thinking it through; it was iced coffee.

Without acknowledging Sae's comment, the editor asked, "Sae, has something happened in your life?"

Such a strange question out of the blue; Sae had no idea what to say and so, remained silent, not even managing to utter a sound.

"I ask because I have noticed a change in your work," Naoi continued, with no sign of being perturbed at the lack of an answer from Sae. The tear ran down her cheek and she finally noticed it, brushing it away unashamedly.

"I can tell that something is going on in your life. It's had an effect on your writing…" she paused. Sae felt as though she was going to burst; "This is it," she let the words dash into her awareness, still completely lost as to what to expect.

"This," stated her editor, waving the portfolio gently, "is astounding. Your prose exhibits such a maturity that I almost cannot believe that you are the same Sae who has been working for me all this time."

"I am sorry," Sae responded. "Um, I mean, I don't understand. But I have been writing…" Her words were not forming any coherent thoughts. What was it that Naoi said?

"Sae, dear," continued her editor, laying the portfolio down and placed her hand almost reverently on the packet. "Your technique in story-telling is now completely fearless. You dwell upon setting the mood with little concern that the story itself is not moving along. A reader is drawn more deeply into the novel and enters a state of timelessness.

"That is, you make time cease to exist and you guide your reader into a complete experience. You make no apologies for how you make things so real; the story waits its turn patiently. You know that your reader is only becoming more involved with what you have created. You know the world of which you write and you carry your reader into that realm.

"I truly could go on and on about this. There is something in your life that has moved you to bloom in a way that I have rarely seen.

"And you really are just eighteen?" came the question.

"Yes, m'am," was Sae's answer, compelled to be as formal as possible by the turn of events.

Her editor picked up the portfolio again and opened it almost at random.

"Everywhere I look here, I do not see the work of a high school girl. You have the skill of a writer who has seen decades pass in their life. I can only say that you have a gift for writing, that it's been hidden all this time; and now…" Naoi had to stop; her breath grew deeper.

"This is like seeing the Sun rise for the first time."

Sae's face was red from flushing, her hands buried in her lap. "This cannot be real. This doesn't happen in real life," she thought. The words tumbled out, "Not for me, this can't be true; it can't be…"

"Sae," spoke her editor with an uncharacteristic sternness, "This story is going to be on the cover of our next publication. It will be the first thing that our readers will see when they open it."

Sae's mouth moved; she thought that she was speaking but no sound came out. Naoi reached over to take Sae's hand from her lap, to return her to reality.

"And I think that it would be most appropriate that you compose the cover illustration," she added, almost as a command.

Sae's mind made an abrupt stop; this was too much to fathom.

"You don't have any writers do their own covers. You have professionals. I'm still just in high school. I'm just learning," Sae protested, not caring for protocol.

Naoi smiled and took her other hand in hers.

"Sae, where and when did you learn to write as you do now?" was her inquiry, accompanied by her tightening grip on Sae, as if to keep Sae from floating away.

"You did not learn that in any school except life. So you don't have much of an excuse on refusing to illustrate… as you have been wanting for quite some time to do."

"But… I really am not good…" Sae's words fell out of her mouth.

"I can have one of the regular cover artists go over it with you. But in the end, it will be your art work to go with your story. It needs to be this way."

"I'm not ready," a final protest emerged.

"Sae, dear, no one is ever really ready… not in this real world."


Sae knew what her editor meant when she spoke of a change.

It was Hiro coming into her life; all the subtle quiet things that she did for Sae. Things that were never expected; how the tinkling of dishes and pots and utensils enlivened Sae's senses and brought her a feeling of home; how the smells of cooking opened her understanding of atmosphere; how being able to depend on someone to be loving and patient and always kind made her heart open.

Sae was nearly always there. As time had passed and her oven still needed repairs, Sae migrated gently into Sae's place. It was just so convenient and efficient for Sae to do the housework. To Hiro, it was never a burden.

Hiro began to do her homework at the table while Sae worked at her desk for the most part. They were both experiencing more freedom; Sae to do her novel writing and Hiro to do her caretaking. The roles were so natural that they would wonder silently how it ever go back to the way it was; that the two would live apart as they had before.

Sae worked so much that she would fall asleep at the most odd times. Hiro would be there and take care of Sae, covering her with a blanket, or cajoling her into bed. Hiro would lower the lights or close the curtains to help Sae's sleep to be recuperative. Often she would text the other girls in Hidamari to not disturb Sae when she had gone to sleep in the middle of the day.

Some evenings, Sae would awake from her off-time nap refreshed and begin work anew regardless that it was late in the evening. She would find Hiro asleep on the floor and put her in Sae's bed; so much easier than trying to lug Hiro to her own place.

Sae and Hiro would have occasion to share the bed when they were both worn out. Somehow, Hiro being there next to Sae made the day's spirit continue. Hiro was there, quiet as a mouse, always ready to show another kindness.


Even though it was a little sacrifice, Sae had taken to sleeping on her left side so that when Hiro was sharing the bed with her, they wouldn't be facing each other continually.

As those nights passed, as Hiro shouldered her stress more and more, Hiro had begun to lay her hand on Sae's upper arm with just a small tension. This was a new experience for Sae but it felt nice; she knew that Hiro was getting the reassurance that she needed. The following day's events seemed to flow more smoothly.

Sae would occasionally go to bed a little earlier than usual, just so that she could be with Hiro sooner, to give Hiro more time to enjoy quiet comfort. And Sae had to be honest with herself; giving reassurance in such a subtle way made her heart glow within. Sae's words during the day were not always as effective as her presence near Hiro in the night.

Hiro and Sae decided without words to hold hands at bedtime.


Sae was extra tired one evening as she crawled into bed. Hiro wasn't there yet, so Sae laid flat on her back and, without thought, gazed at the ceiling. Before she knew it, she was asleep.

Some time later, she woke up just enough to realize that Hiro was now in bed with her… as had happened so many times before. But it was warmly different. Sae was still on her back and Hiro was facing her, embracing Sae's arm with both of hers. Hiro's face was resting on Sae's upper arm, her soft breath tickling Sae's arm where it was bared; as her sleeve was up out of place.

Sae didn't want to wake up any more than she had. And she did not want to fall asleep right away again. This was such bliss. Sae knew that Hiro was suffering mentally and emotionally. This sleeping arrangement had such a recuperative effect on Hiro. And Sae's heart grew as well. She was learning with her soul what it meant to give a person love, without conditions, without words.

And so, Sae's writing gained depth and insight.

Hiro seemed to recover a little each day and she would find a reason to smile and to carry on; even as she took upon herself more and more her imagined role as apartment mother to all of the other girls. It came to her quite easily and was especially reinforced when Nazuna and Nori, with renewed innocence and youth and their attendant needs, had come along.

Yuno and Nazuna, being the littlest and most delicate, were truly like children to Hiro; regardless that they were only a year or so younger. Nori and Miyako were like teenagers, which they were; however, Hiro felt as though she was their mother also. She delighted in cooking for all of the girls when the occasion arose. Hiro was glad to be the peacemaker whenever there were any bumps in the road of life.

And despite her protests and despite Sae's protests, the comments from the Hidamari girls about the relationship between Hiro and Sae, that intimated that they were husband and wife, were becoming more close to reality.

Hiro and Sae inwardly, almost unconsciously, realized what was happening but would always soon dismiss the thoughts; they were both very busy and involved with their many responsibilities.


Miss Yoshinoya's slippers squeaked along the hall to her last class of the day. She was a little tired but her excitement to be with her students always perked her up to the usual level… just this side of lunacy. As she reached for the door, the thought came to her too quickly, "Will she be in class today?" She automatically crossed her fingers for luck but those fingers were headed for the door handle. She stubbed her fingers, cried out slightly, and popped her fingers into her mouth. She fumbled with her other hand and got the door open with more flourish than intended. She did see the empty desk immediately but made no sound; her fingers were in the way.

Teacher pulled her hand from her mouth and regained her composure quickly.

"Hello, class. Here we go into a wild blue yonder!" The students, as usual, were baffled by her remark and missed her nodding to Sae, who had been waiting anxiously for Miss Yoshinoya to arrive. Sae already had her things together and slipped out the back door of the classroom with only a few students noticing her escape.

Sae almost ran on her errand. There really wasn't a need to rush. But she wanted to get to Hiro as soon as possible. At the nurse's office, she quickly slid the door open without a sound. The nurse turned in her desk chair and pointed to the beds. She then returned her attention unconvincingly to her paperwork.

Sae found Hiro in the same bed again as she had before. Although the bed curtain was drawn closed, Hiro was not hiding; she was waiting for Sae. This time, though, she was laying facing away from Sae.

Sae sat down carefully on the bed as if not to disturb Hiro's sleep, though she knew that Hiro would not be asleep. Sae reached over to Hiro and laid her hand softly on her shoulder.

"Art class is starting now. Do you think that you want to come with me back to the classroom?" Sae asked as gently as she could while keeping her voice from shaking. Hiro turned toward Sae, her eyes wet and red.

"I just want to go home," Hiro answered flatly. "I just want to go…" she couldn't finish. Inwardly, Sae cringed, knowing that things were not getting better… and feeling helpless to do anything about it. Sae stood up though with no hesitation and helped Hiro up to her feet. Hiro slowly stepped into her shoes and the two pushed through the bed curtain together.

As they passed Nurse, she spoke up in a motherly tone, "Sae, I know that I have said it before… but I really feel that this is burnout."

Hiro retorted weakly without looking, "That can't be. I'm just a high school student. I'm only 18. Burnout is for working men or someone working on an advanced degree. I just need to rest a little." Her voice dropped, "Excuse me, I am so sorry. I don't mean to be rude. Just let me go home."

Sae sensed that she was going to have to almost carry Hiro home again. She wished that Miyako was available like she was the last time. But no such luck this time.

"Let's go home, Hiro. Things will be okay." Sae carried her burdens home to Hidamari, fortunately just across the street.


Sae was trying her level best to finish her latest work that was to be the feature story in Monthly Kirara but she kept returning to the events of the day.

It was so hard to make complete sense of how Hiro was acting. She had been missing that class before the last period of the day. However, some days she would attend and seemed to be doing all right. And then again, Sae had seen Hiro turning in a test paper with nothing on it except her name.

The principal had Hiro come and talk with him in his office and that seemed to perk her up a little… although some tears would fall as she recounted the conversation to Sae.

Regardless, that life with Hiro was enrichening Sae's writing prowess, Sae could not help but wrestle within her heart as to what to do for Hiro; to truly help her; for they were the very best of friends; friends to a depth Sae had never known before; friends as close as humans could be.

Both Sae and Hiro that evening were busying themselves moreso than usual and neither seemed to tire enough to consider climbing into bed. Before they realized, it was midnight and they were both still running along as hamsters in their exercise wheels.

Sae finally broke away from her work, "Hiro, I think we need to stop for the day; it's tomorrow already." She pointed to the clock.

Hiro smiled and agreed, "We have worked ourselves ragged. We have to take baths for sure."

"To save time, let's do that together, okay?" Sae suggested. Hiro nodded her approval.

It made the task of bathing less ulitarian for Sae and Hiro to work together, washing each other's hair and backs. And it was a special treat to take turns caring for each other's feet; just to take it easy and let someone else do the work.

With only a little maneuvering, Hiro and Sae managed to share the tub, even though it was really only meant for one. Both girls were too weary to speak, which didn't matter. Sometimes, words were unnecessary.

After not a long time, they had gone to bed; Sae was flat on her back and Hiro, as usual, was clamping Sae's arm. Sae turned her head slightly toward Hiro and could smell her hair. This sleeping arrangement was always so refreshing and comforting.

Oddly enough, sleep did not fall upon the girls. Time ticked by, the room was dark, all was quiet, the girls laid still yet relaxed.

It was still that way when at about two in the morning, Hiro's phone sounded. Hiro quickly crawled halfway over Sae to reach her phone on the nightstand. She settled down, laying across Sae, and opened her phone.

"Hello?" she answered, not showing the slightest hint that it was in the middle of the night. "Oh, Dad. What is it?"

There was the pure silence of night and dark; Sae could easily hear Hiro's father over the phone.

"Hiro, honey baby. It's Dad," he explained unnecessarily. "I'm sorry to call you in what must be the middle of the night there." Sae recalled instantly that Hiro's parents were in France on a business/vacation trip.

"It's okay, Father. I wasn't asleep yet."

Her father came back on the line, almost cutting Hiro off, "This couldn't wait until morning. I need to tell you what has happened."

Hiro's voice just cracked in response; that was all that she could manage.

Her father continued, his voice was a bit shaky, "I am so sorry to have to share bad news with you but you need to know this right now." Hiro gulped and her tears began at just the few words.

"Your mother and I were in an accident on the highway here near Paris. I am okay but the accident happened mostly on your mother's side of the car.

"She is in the hospital right now and they have really good doctors…" Hiro's father involuntarily paused, trying to compose his words.

"She hasn't regained consciousness yet but… But she is improved from 'Critical condition'. Umm…" Never had Sae heard Hiro's father sound so unsure; he was always such a reserved and confident man; but Sae could hear his heart breaking.

"Are you there, Hiro?" he asked, trying to turn his attention to his daughter. Hiro broke her silence.

"Father, is she going to be okay?" Hiro tried to ask but her voice broke as she spoke; she was barely intelligible. There was an uncomfortable pause.

"The doctors here are quite confident that they are doing their best. I…" again he trailed off.

"What is it, Dad?" Hiro rose her voice.

"The doctors did the best that they could, really. It's just a matter of time before Mother will regain…" He let out an audible breath.

"In the accident, her side of the car was almost destroyed. She is lucky and we are blessed that she is alive… but there was…" His voice failed again.

"Tell me, Father. What? What is it?" Hiro was almost sounding angry yet her tears were gathering on Sae's pajama top.

"The doctors did their best but they couldn't… Mother has lost her right leg below the knee."

Hiro's response was more of a cry than words.

Hiro's father continued, "Once she wakes up, the doctors are sure that she is very likely going to be okay otherwise." Hiro fell silent and no one spoke for many seconds.

"I should be there," Hiro chirped.

Her father answered, "That isn't necessary… I mean, that would be not feasible. You're not ready for international travel at all. You don't have a passport or any vaccinations. Besides, we really shouldn't make you miss school at this time; you're so close to graduation. And then, there's the money."

Hiro realized that her father was unfortunately right, "Oh, yes. You know what's going on better than I do. It would take a month just to get things together."

"Sweetheart, I know that this all sounds so bad. But I believe that we will get through this all right. Regardless of the things have happened, many other good things have happened to make up for them.

"If you want to help your mother, just be with her in spirit. You and her are so much alike; I think that if you do what you can to be strong, I think that she will feel it and be more inclined to make as full a recovery as she can."

"I love you, Dad," Hiro managed to say, just barely.

"I love you too, baby Hiro," her father returned. "I'll call again when more is known, all right?"

"Okay."

"Goodbye for now."

"Bye."

Hiro managed to close her phone but couldn't reach to put it back on the nightstand; she just mindlessly let it fall to the floor and remained laying over Sae.

Meanwhile, Sae's heart was torn to shreds.

"What kind of world does this to Hiro?" she thought with rising vehemence. "How dare this happen to such a wonderful and innocent person? How can this happen to the one that I love the most?"

Sae threaded her arms around Hiro and pulled her close to herself. Hiro responded in kind. And they kissed as if the world was ending… and beginning.


Misato quipped, "Hiro. You've become quite the cook."

And to Sae, she suggested in a deep voice, "Why don't you go ahead and marry her?"

To which, Sae shot back, "What the heck?"

Misato continued, "Why not? Everyone in Hidamari Apartments is so close.

"Sae, you're so serious. Hiro, no wonder you can't turn your back on her for a moment!"

"Who? Me? I'm not sure what to say," Hiro wondered aloud.


"I wonder if Sae is still up writing. She seemed so tired this afternoon, maybe she'll sleep tonight. I can't keep Sae out of my mind, can I? Maybe I'll get up early and make her some French Toast. I wonder if she likes strawberry jam," Hiro said to herself in her bath.

"I'm fixing some nighttime snacks for Sae," Hiro told Yuno and Miyako. "I always make her something when she has a deadline looming. I want her to eat well, especially when things are tough.

"She doesn't want to eat anything while in the groove. She forgets about hunger. I wish she'd eat properly. I'll fix something she can eat while working, but…

"I guess that I began to adapt to her circumstances. Her schedule becomes irregular before every deadline. Sometimes Sae doesn't even sleep."

Miyako interjected, "She also uses a lot of energy drinks. If she's like that now, I can't but worry about her future."

Hiro picked up again, "She becomes rather touchy when she gets stuck. Whenever she acts like that, I try to be quiet even when I bring her food. I even get nervous when she is like that. So, when I get back to my place, I just sit down and do nothing."

Yuno thought to herself, "I don't know if I could be like Hiro."


Nori asked on the Day Cut in Seven Pieces, "Sae-senpai, Hiro-senpai. What did you two talk about?"

"Oh, us?" Sae asked rhetorically.

"What did we talk about?" quiered Hiro of Sae. Hiro went on to answer her own question, "We anchored the boat under some shade and took it easy."

"Yeah," picked up Sae. "We discussed stuff like how the water's still cold."

Nori interjected, "We mentioned how you two are picturesque together."

Hiro retorted gently, "We're picturesque together?"

Nazuna chimed in, "Right. Sae-senpai's cool and Hiro-senpai is elegant."

Chika added, "You looked like you came right out of a movie."

"What are you talking about?" Sae returned, blushing a little.

"She's blushing!" Chika announced unnecessarily.

"Chika!" Sae raised her fist at Chika while Hiro smiled on.

"That makes me happy," Hiro spoke to break the tension. "But we really didn't discuss anything important."

Disarmed, Sae continued, "Yeah. What else did we talk about?"

"We debated on whether Kawasemi kingfishers actually come to Kawasemi Park…" Hiro expounded, "and that it looked like Chika was having fun.

"We discussed how the wind felt nice and made plans for tomorrow," concluded Hiro.

"That's wonderful…" remarked Nazuna.

"It's just like in Sae-senpai's stories," Nori said. "Remember the scene where the main couple went to Oze and discussed little nothings on a walk? Even though it was about normal things, it was really heart-warming."


As Hiro, Miyako, and Yuno read the Monthly Kiara magazine together on the couch, Sae fell asleep at her desk. Seeing this, Hiro got up and shushed Miyako. Hiro put a sweater over Sae's shoulders and gently removed the pencil from her hand.

"Your face is going to get marked up if you do that," she quietly scolded Sae as she laid the pencil on the desk.

After stepping outside, the three girls found themselves under a very starry and clear night's sky. Miyako, being her usual free-spirited self, took to dancing in the empty street.

Yuno noted to Hiro, "Sae's going to catch a cold if she remains like that."

"I'll check on her later," assured Hiro. "I've got to make sure she sleeps under some covers."

Calling out to Miyako, Hiro warned, "That's dangerous, Miyako-chan. What if a car comes?"

Yuno suddenly said to Hiro, "You're like Sae's wife… And you're like our mother," referring to herself and the care-free Miyako.

"M-Mother?" Hiro stuttered in surprise.

"You're really big-hearted!" added Miyako. "I mean, you're a real gutsy mom!"

"Miya-chan!" retorted Hiro.

"You sure are kind and understanding, Hiro," continued Yuno. "I feel nice and warm just being next to you."


Launch a rocket at random

And approach the place where it lands.


Hiro had returned to her apartment in the night after their encounter. In the morning, the five usual participants were doing their morning exercises in the back yard. It was certainly an invigorating way to start the day. Sae kept checking on Hiro's curtains, wanting to see them rustle and have Hiro poke her sleepy head out. Today, the curtains remained still the entire time; Sae couldn't take waiting any further and excused herself from the group.

Hiro's back door was locked, so Sae went through her own apartment to the front doors of the apartments. She was a bit surprised to find Hiro's front door also locked. However, she had a key to Hiro's place back in her own kitchen.

Sae let herself quietly into Hiro's apartment, but still called out in a soft voice, "Good morning, I'm coming in." With just a few steps, she could see Hiro's bed… and that Hiro wasn't there. The covers hadn't been touched.

Sae inner alarm went up a notch as she returned to the doorway and saw Hiro's outdoor shoes still there.

"Not much other place to look," Sae said a little louder and she turned to the bathroom door. "Hiro-chan, you're in here, aren't you?" she asked, opening the door and hearing no response.

Hiro was in the bathtub… asleep? Her head was tilted uncomfortably away from the door. The water was bright red; the color was much too strong for a bath color.

The next thing that caught Sae's eye was the biggest knife that Hiro had in her kitchen, laying on the floor where it had dropped from Hiro's hand. Sae inhaled suddenly, almost choking herself. Even as she recovered from that, she pulled Hiro's left arm from the water; there was nothing wrong there.

Sae's hopes did not rise as tears forced themselves from her eyes. As the tears appeared, she pulled Hiro's right arm from the water and saw the fine line that was still oozing blood at the wrist.

Sae screamed out incoherently and dashed to the back door of Hiro's place. She tried to get her breath as she flipped the lock open and yell from the opening door, "Call an ambulance right now!" Sae tried to fly out the back door and fell down flat on the grass. She turned her head up to see the four girls and the landlady looking at Sae with gaping mouths.

"Call an ambulance right now. Hiro might be…" she couldn't say it and felt a huge knot tighten within her stomach that threatened to force her heart out of her chest. Without realizing, she was vomiting painfully hard.

The girls remained stunned for another moment but the landlady was already past Sae and into Hiro's apartment. In no time at all, she was back out at the door, panting.

"Nobody come in here. Stay out! Who has their cell phone? Call for an ambulance right now," she ordered as she blocked the doorway. Yuno and Nazuna still couldn't move, their eyes were growing wider with each second.

Nori had her phone out and was making the call. Miyakoko shook herself out of her stupor when she saw the faces of Yuno and Nazuna. She turned to them and clamped her arms around their shoulders, both to reassure them and to restrain them.

Nori was trying to talk to the emergency operator but was only making word-like sounds. She jumped over to the landlady and gave her the phone. As the landlady took the phone, she pointed Nori to Sae on the grass and then turned her back to all the girls. What she was going to have to say, she didn't want to have the girls hear… not now.

Nori went to Sae's side and placed her hand on Sae's forehead to relieve the tension there and to keep Sae from collapsing fully. Sae was determined to remain conscious. Even though there was an adult fortunately present to supervise, Sae carried within herself a burden that anyone would find overwhelming.

"What if what I did last night made Hiro do this? If she dies, it will be my fault."


The emergency personnel finished securing Hiro in the ambulance and closed the door. The five Hidamari girls stood together at the foot of the apartment stairs, crying and trying to hold everybody else at the same time. As the ambulance screamed away, a large black car stopped quickly at the curb where the space had just opened up.

As the car's door opened, the Principal appeared. Miyakoko, as usual, was the first to notice the unusual scene; who knew that the Principal even had a car? As Miyakoko had looked up, the other girls took note too; they all rushed the Principal, not caring for protocol. Everyone spoke at once but the Principal did not let it faze him.

"They're taking Hiro to the hospital. She might be dying. We can't get there. We have to go the hospital," came the torrent of tears and words of concern.

"Get in my car, all of you now," the Principal directed without hesitation. Yuno and Nazuna were glued to the spot while Miyako was already going around the rear of the car to the right side. As she moved, she still was able to notice a round blue and white emblem on the car's trunk and then a chrome "750iL" badge.

Then following Miyako's example, Sae and Nori got in through the left door on the curbside at the rear. The principal could tell that the two littlest girls were lost and he took them by the hand around the front of the car to the right front door. They were confused because this was a left-hand drive car and things were not in their right place. The principal sat them both in the rather wide front passenger seat and snapped the belt around both of them.

"This is not the best thing to do, putting two of you in the same belt; but it is an emergency," he explained quickly and surely. The other girls found their belts and secured themselves.

Before anyone could even catch their breath, they saw the Principal back on the curb, ordering a policeman there. The girls couldn't hear what he was saying, but Miyako was sure that the policeman replied, "Yes, Captain," to the Principal.

Again with amazing deftness, the Principal was in the driver's seat, buckling up; the policeman was getting his car going with its lights on.

"We are going to the hospital right now," the Principal announced in utter calm. In fact, he had been speaking calmly the entire time.

Miyako was the only one to notice the ride. The car made a sound that was like a jet and a lion roaring all at the same time, hardly relenting as she felt a giant djinn's hand press her back into the seat, making it hard to breathe. The roar only changed pitch a bit here and there as the djinn pushed Miyako from one side to the back of the seat and then to the other side. She dared to look out the window and saw the world go by as if a bullet train had pierced the city.


As the principal and the girls entered the hospital, they saw a very tall doctor rushing toward the entrance receptionist as they were. They let him ahead to speak first, "Are there any relatives here of Hiro?"

The principal spoke up immediately, "Hiro lives here on her own. Her family is in the Yamagata prefecture. Her parents are in Europe at this time. I am her guardian at this time as I am the principal of her school." It was such a relief to the girls that the Principal was there and knew all of these things. Did that mean that he knew similar things about them too? How does he do all that he does?

The doctor faced the Principal gravely. There was no time for formalities.

"Hiro's blood type is unusual. Nevertheless, type AB is universal and should have been all right. However, she reacted to that plasma. It would just be ideal if we had a family member. Her blood type is AB null; it's very rare," the doctor reeled off the information, maintaining true calm in the face of a life-and-death situation.

There was an involuntary cry from Yuno; everyone looked at her, not expecting but hoping.

"I'm AB null too. I've always worried that I would need…" she could not say anything more; tears were flooding into her voice. The Principal pulled Yuno to him and wrapped his arms around her, brushing her cheek. He addressed the doctor.

"As acting guardian of this student, you have my permission to use her as a donor… but," turning to Yuno and lowering his voice, "only if you want to do this. Do you want to give your blood so that Hiro can live?"

Yuno's eyes filled with tears and she squeaked as she replied, "Yes, I do." The doctor reached down and scooped Yuno up in his arms easily and strode off. Yuno called out as she was carried away, "Farewell, my friends."

Sae thought, "She's being a little dramatic about it but I can't blame her."


The principal accompanied the remaining girls to a waiting area. Miyako sat in the middle of a couch and held the two younger girls under her arms.

Sae sat unexpectedly close to the Principal and found herself leaning toward him. She was just now able to begin gathering her thoughts.

"I know that this is all my fault. What was I thinking? I have just been deluding myself all this time. I just convinced myself that it was all okay.

"How could I have seen this coming? What did I miss? Why didn't I see it coming?

"If Hiro dies because of this…"

The Principal softly interrupted Sae's train of thought. "You are very close to Hiro, aren't you?" Sae dared only nod; if she said one wrong thing, she wouldn't be able to go on living.

"I want you to know," he continued, "that in such a case as this, that even the people closest to the victim can be completely surprised."

"Being surprised is putting it mildly," was Sae's inner response.

"And often, these same people will believe that they are to blame."

Sae heart began to pound so hard that she felt that her eyes would burst.

"How can he know? He knows. But he can't know," the thoughts hit her like bullets. Was her punishment going to start already?

The principal cleared his throat and said, "I am of the frame of mind that even the person who commits suicide is not the one at fault. As we were taught by some philosophies, we are not to be upset by the fact that there are people in the world who do evil. Such people do exist and assigning blame to their actions is like being upset about the position of a rock laying on the ground.

"There are things that just are. When we encounter a very good and benevolent person, usually we do not analyze and wonder who is 'to blame' for that person's existence. They are simply people who are.

"They who commit suicide are very rarely in a completely sane state; for if they were sane, they would not choose to not continue to try; they would not choose to end all their choices.

"We need to just be the people that we are, that try to do better, that make mistakes, and that try again. Too much life-energy is wasted assigning blame, which in the end accomplishes nothing but heartache."

And Sae wondered, "Can the Principal read minds?"


Hiro's life was saved, thanks to Yuno's blood transfusion and that her suicide attempt was not well done. By cutting only one wrist and then not by much, she was not as close to death as was first believed.

The medical team finished their work on Hiro and the tall doctor went over to check on Yuno. She was laying completely still on her gurney, with a sheet up to her chin where the nurse had last placed it.

"How are you feeling, Yuno?" he asked softly. He then noticed the tears running down her face and into her ears; she made no attempt to wipe them away. And she didn't answer for a moment.

"I'm cold. I feel weak."

The doctor began to turn to call a nurse over but was stopped by what Yuno asked next.

"So when do I die?"

The doctor must have not heard correctly, "What, Yuno?"

Still not moving at all, Yuno replied, "Principal asked me if I'd give my blood so that Hiro could live. So, I have to die, right?"

The doctor could not help himself; he threw his arms around Yuno, lifting her from the gurney and held her tightly to his chest.

"No, Yuno, no. Dear girl, it doesn't work that way." If he could give his life to this child as a reward, he would; instead he held her to him to keep her from any nearby angels that were ready to take her to Heaven.

It took a minute for the doctor to regain his composure enough to speak again, "You may feel cold and weak… but you still have plenty of blood left in you. You're not going to die."

And the words caught in his throat as he repeated, "You don't need to die for your friend to live; that isn't the way it works."


"Sae," said the nurse, "Hiro wants to talk to you first."

If Sae had had any hope before, it drained from her in that moment. Now was the time that she had to face facts and not consider some philosopher's sayings. She surprised herself by standing and following the nurse as though nothing were happening.

The nurse opened the door to Hiro's room, saying, "Here is Hiro coming in." Sae felt that she was shouting it out for the whole world to hear; but there was no clamor after the announcement. Sae stepped into the room just enough to close the door. As she turned to face Hiro, she fell to her knees and placed her hands, palms down on the floor. She couldn't bear to look Hiro in the face.

"Hiro, I am so sorry. I am a terrible person. You must never forgive me. I am so horribly sorry," she stopped to take a breath and almost felt like throwing up again.

Hiro cried out, "No, Sae! You get up right now! You did nothing wrong! Come to me right now." Her tears were running down her face like small waterfalls as she held her arms out to Sae.

Sae got up as quickly as she could because it was all a miracle. She was being welcomed into Hiro's embrace and they both cried and hugged without words.

Sae's stomach was still a bit uneasy but she wanted this moment to go on in its perfection; her body complied and she felt a wave of warmth go through her, setting all things at ease.

Hiro again spoke, "Sae, you have to know that what you did last night, what we did last night, was the most wonderful thing that I have ever experienced. It was love and it filled my heart with so much life that I could hardly contain it. I felt so safe, so loved, and assured that the news of my mother's brush with death melted away. I really felt as though I knew that she was going to be all right."

Sae gulped a few times and asked, "Then why did you…?" She didn't ever want to speak the words in Hiro's presence, never to remind her. So she pointed at Hiro's bandaged wrist.

"Sae, I don't know. From the moment that I went home last night, the last thing that I remember is going through the door. The next thing that I knew, I was here in the hospital," was her answer.

"How could that happen?" Sae blurted, stunned by the bizarre news.

"The psychiatrist here talked to me," explained Hiro. "He said that sort of thing has been known to happen to people who have burned out."

"The nurse at school was right," Sae said, only as a side note, knowing that they both were well aware of what the nurse had said several times.

"The psychiatrist told me of a man who had just graduated with top honors in a double major. The next day, he disappeared. No one could find any trace of him except for his cell phone which was missing its SIM card and his clothes. The police thought that the family had killed him or that he had been kidnapped. Then he just showed up out of nowhere five days later, wearing clothes he had pulled out of the trash somewhere. And he remembered nothing of those five days," related Hiro, quite lucidly.

"Oh, that's terrible. And what happened to you was the same sort of thing."

"Yes," Hiro answered slowly. "I blacked out but I did what I did myself. It's not your fault at all. What we did together was so good, I think that that kept me from successfully killing myself. I think that I still knew that you loved me."

And they stayed in their embrace until Sae could no longer stand on her feet.