What Has Happened?

I can run and run

But the picture of you when you fell into my arms

Can never go away

Your last words as your blood splattered onto me were

"Your shirt"

Such a simple thing to say

But the bullet in your chest made it a labyrinth

I can feel your life dissipating

And my hope leaving, along with your spirit

I can only feel hate

The one who hurt you will pay

I will see to that

You were and still are my everything

You need to be here with me

We were meant for each other

I cannot breath

I need you by my side

I was under your spell

Our spirits joined

I will not believe that my Goddess is gone

That I will never see you again

You cannot be gone

There must be a way I can get you back.

Please

Help me with this pain

Help

I need to feel your warmth

You are cold as ice

Red is soaking your shirt now

I can hear screams

The hole in you can't be real

I can't lose you again

No

I will jump off the edge of the world for you

I think you know that

But are you…

You're not.

You can't be.

I won't let it be the truth

I won't.

Breath…for me

Baby?

Open your eyes and say its okay

Say that you'll never leave me

That we can never part

Where have you gone?

Heaven?

Hell?

I need to know.

You are my life

My blood

My everything

My Goddess

Can the heavens hear my cry?

Do they know that you were not meant for their arms?

Talk baby

I need to hear your soothing voice

You can get up now

Stop acting

Your blood stains my white skin as I touch your face

Your eyes are glossed over like a corpse

I hold you tight

Our blood becomes one in an embrace

You lie limp

I call to you

But you don't answer.

You never will

Again

I just got you back

Wake up and hold me

A tear rolls down my cheek and onto yours

I wait for your soft hand to wipe it away

But it never comes

You've left me

It's my turn to be brave

But can I?

I need you to guide me

To hold my hand

To whisper sweet nothings into my ear

To cuddle with

And to kiss me good night

Come back to me

I can never let you go

You were there for me

Through demons

Family

Fake Buffys

Vampires

Tears and sadness

Death and morning

Sunsets and moonlight

Sunrise and summer breezes

"Big pineapples"

And "sassy eggs"

What will I do without you?

Will I perish?

I have to come to terms with what happened

But to you I say…

Rest in peace

My love for you in eternal

If I never speak to you again you need to know…

I love you

Dedicated to Tara McClay (1980-2002)