Um, so immense THANK YOUS to all who've reviewed, favourited and alerted my stories! I'm walking around with more swag in my pinkie and perpetually dusting off my shoulders every time I get an email. Tumblr peeps who've found me, welcome to my craziness ;-)

Spoilers for 'Grilled Cheesus' and everything up to 'Extraordinary Merry Christmas'. Futurefic! Finchel, snarky Kurt and appearances by some of the gleeks. T for sexytimes! Just ridiculous fluff I had laying around on the computer. Meh.

For Amybf19… Because she's supposed to be laughing and smiling, no more crying!

Disclaimer: Glee, not mine.


pretty girls can break the rules

:::

Finn was doing something with his lips, magic, his tongue soft against hers, fingers barely stroking at her thigh. She likes when he goes slow - he's strong and big enough that he worries sometimes that he'll hurt her, because she's so small - but right now she doesn't want slow, so her fingers grip tighter at the hair at the back of his neck, and he groans at that, his kiss getting harder, fingers pressing harder into her skin.

This is what she wants.

"Whatever you two are doing in there, stop!

Finn growls against her lips, reluctantly pulling away to drop his forehead on hers. She glares at the door, wishing she could send that glare through and knock Kurt out for the next couple of hours.

She grabs at Finn's chin, kissing him again. "Just ignore him."

Kurt knocks again. "Rachel. You need to get ready for rehearsal and Finn needs to go to work."

"Would you miss him too much if he disappeared off the Brooklyn Bridge?" She groans.

Finn snickers. "Burt or my mom might."

"Baby, I'm not going to see you for three more days!" She whimpers, her nails scraping against the hair by his stomach. "And that means I'll have to lie in this big bed alone, touching myself, wishing you were here… and you know how it's been raining so often lately, and you know how I get when it rains."

She smiles slowly when his eyes darken, his large hands grabbing her by the waist and settling her onto his lap, his hardness pushing against her, both still fully clothed. He claims her lips again and she sighs happily, her hands wrapped around his neck.

As if on cue, Kurt knocks again.

"Give us five minutes, dude!" Finn hollers.

"Baby?" She mewls.

"Make that ten!" He lifts her with one hand, dragging her panties off before she could blink.


"Rachel?"

"Hmm?"

"Why are you staring at my plate?"

"You have bacon, Quinn."

"Yes. I know. I ordered it. But why are you staring?"

"Because I want it."

Quinn sighs and places her fork back onto the table. "Rachel?"

"Hmm?"

"You don't eat bacon. Or meat for that matter! Are you alright?"

Rachel raises her eyes to Quinn's. "I'm positively fine, I've just been having a weird craving for meat lately." She frowns. "I even kissed Finn right after he had a cheeseburger the other day."

"Uh, OK."

Santana giggles. The two friends exchange looks before looking back at the brunette sitting at the table.

"Any other weird cravings?" Santana asks before Quinn can. Rachel gives her a look.

"No. I'm not pregnant, San. I've been having my period, quiet regularly." Rachel sniffs haughtily, poking at the salad in front of her. She's been all out of sorts lately, her sleep habits had been thrown out of whack, she was eating a lot more and then there was the craving for meat. She made a mental note to pick up some vitamins and try to get more sleep.

"I'm just tired, I guess. I'll be fine." She waves their concerns away.

Santana doesn't say anything, but does raise her eyebrow when Rachel snares a piece of chicken from her pasta.


"Ms. Berry, this is the third time I've had to adjust the bodice on your costume. Either lose some weight or quit eating like you're starving," the costume designer snaps. The woman glares at her and then at the dress in her hands before stomping off.

Rachel and Kurt stare after her.

"Well I never! You eat one piece of cake and all of a sudden you're a glutton!" She mutters, shaking her head and turning back to her mirror.

She catches Kurt looking at her and frowns. "What?"

"Third time Rach? Like, seriously, how it is your boobs are getting bigger?" He asks.

She looks down at her chest, grabbing her shirt to get a better look at her cleavage.

"Oh, good God! Please molest yourself when I am not around you!" Kurt shrieks, jamming his palm over his eyes.

She ignores him and looks back down at her chest. Her nipples have been more sensitive lately, and coupled with her apparent gluttony, she was gaining weight. And her breasts did feel fuller. She looked up at Kurt again and narrowed her eyes.

"I'm still having my period."

"Oh, dear lord! Some things are still sacred Rachel!" He cries.

She glares right back.

He frowns then taps at his chin.

"Oh. Oh!" She turns around to face him. "It's not possible is it? We've been careful. I'm still on the pill. And I have a regular period."

He walks from one side of her dressing room to the next, stops and stares at her. "Are you diligent in taking those pills? I know you Rachel."

She nods. "I have, Kurt. I only forgot that weekend you dragged me along to go look at your next design contract."

Her cheeks colour slightly when she remembers the weekend when Finn started his shift as a Lieutenant by the fire department, Kurt kept knocking and she kept moaning louder. He punished her by dragging her to his open houses for a week straight.

"Whatever you're blushing about, stop. Get your make-up on, I'll run to the corner store real quick." He hurries to the door and then looked back at her. "And pray that costume designer can work magic on your dress."


"How the hell am I pregnant?"

The doctor looks from her to Kurt, his eyebrows raised as he thought how to answer the question.

"Ms. Berry, you do understand how reproduction and the female body work, right?"

She gives him a look and he laughs nervously, lifting his hand in surrender. He looks over at Kurt. "Sir?"

"Do not look at me. I hate female parts. I'm the token gay best friend. My brother knocked her up."

"Kurt!" Rachel shrieks indignantly.

"Wrong name you're screaming sweetheart," he deadpans.

"Ms. Berry, I can assure you, you're about four months pregnant."

"How is that possible? I've still been having my period."

"It happens. Is it a heavy flow? When was the last time you menstruated?"

She stares at the doctor as she does the mental check in her head.

"Crap."


Finn comes home from a gruelling shift one evening and she's sitting on the bedroom floor going through one of her scrapbooks. He shucks his shirt off, kicks his shoes to his side of the closet, bends to kiss her hair and heads towards the shower.

She's still sitting there when he comes out and she needs to tell him.. something. Before she can, he has her in his arms, and then they're on the bed and he kisses her, and well, that plan flies out the window immediately.

She's sitting at the kitchen counter when Kurt comes home, Finn's fast asleep and she's nibbling on a piece of the carrot cake she'd made for Kurt's birthday last week.

"Well?"

"I didn't tell him."

Kurt goes to the fridge and pours out a glass of milk, takes a slice of cake and sits beside her.

"He needs to know, Rach. He's going to wonder why your breasts are bigger and why your tummy feels firmer and gets larger."

"He already mentioned the breasts earlier. Oh God, Kurt, his tongue!" She moans and Kurt throws a napkin at her.

"I live with you two. I do not need to hear from your mouth how talented my brother's tongue is, please! Therapy isn't cheap you know."

She gives him a small smile and looks back down to her cake, it's almost gone. She cuts another slice, moaning again as she licks the frosting from the fork.

"When are you going to tell him?"

"I wanted to tell him tonight, but I, uh, ahem, got distracted." She blushes into her plate.

"I'll blame it on the hormones. I think I'll be spending more time by Blaine's in the future." He laughs, nudging her shoulder with his.

She smiles at him before looking back to her cake. "Don't you think it's too soon, Kurt? I mean, I'm just 23, I've only been on Broadway for a year, Finn wants to go back to college and we all still live together. How are we going to bring a baby into all this?"

She's crying into her cake when Kurt wraps an arm around her shoulder. "We'll figure it out sweetie, but you need to tell Finn first, make sure this is something he wants, something you both want."

"What if he doesn't want a baby with me?" Kurt pulls away from her and she drops her head, turning away from his scrutiny.

"Rachel, Finn loves you. He's ridiculously in love with you. Just talk to him."

Kurt kisses her hair, pushing the glass of milk, full cream milk at that, towards her.


Two nights later Finn is snoring into his pillow and she can't sleep. She's hungry, and she's feeling guilty and both have her very nervous.

She pokes Finn in the side. He doesn't move.

She does it again and he grunts. He turns on his side, faces her and then rolls onto his back. She watches his shirt move with him, the sliver of skin showing just above his pajama bottoms dangerously low on his hips. She presses her hand to him in his pants and feels him move against her. Heat washes over her and her hunger morphs into lust.

She gets on her knees and moves down to her boyfriend's legs, her nails scraping at the inside of his thigh. He jerks, but he's still asleep. She reaches into his sleep pants and palms him, feeling the velvety heat in her hand, and when he finally wakes up he's hard in her mouth and grunting her name in surprise.

She loves that he's never good with words whenever she does this as he's just moaning gibberish now and when he fists one hand in her hair as both her hands wrap around to stroke him where her lips can't, he curses slightly, his hips bucking upwards. He jerks again and then reaches down, pulling her up roughly and flipping her under him. He shoves her panties aside and buries himself inside her, biting her neck hard as he does.

She cries out softly and his hand creeps under her nightshirt to tweak at her nipples and she screams louder, her body pliant in his arms as her orgasm surprises her, eyes slammed shut, fingers gripping at Finn's arm.

"Holy fuck, Rach!" He stops and pushes himself up on one hand to stare at her. "Did you just-,"

Her body is still practically vibrating beneath him and she moans and wraps her legs around him so he moves again and he drops his arm, his hand gripping tight at her hip as he moves harder inside her. He makes her come again before he falls to the bed beside her, spent, breathing hard and sweaty.

He tugs her nightshirt off and tosses it aside, presses them skin to skin and drops small kisses on her shoulder.

"Baby, I have to tell you something, and please, please, don't be mad," she whispers in the darkness after she comes down from her high, her body still reacting to his touch even now.

His kisses stop and he tries to turn her in his arms but she keeps her arm around his, holding him in place. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath.

"I'm pregnant."


"You're doing nicely for your second trimester Ms. Berry. Do you want to know the sex yet?"

Their answers are different.

"No."

"Yes."

"Rachel, you really don't want to know?" Finn grins at her. She bites her lip and looks back towards the doctor then shakes her head. "I want it to be a surprise."

The doctor chuckles and folds his hands on his knees, telling her about prenatal care in the second trimester.

Later, when she's sitting on the couch, and Finn is sitting on the floor, his lips on her rounded belly he asks her why she doesn't want to know.

"I really don't care if I'm having a boy or a girl. I'm just happy to be having your baby." She smiles and rests her palm on his cheek.

"I'll still never understand, why did you wait so long to tell me?"

She hesitates. She wonders herself, but she was afraid to tell him the truth then. He was surprised at how far along she was, but he was excited enough to not ask her that at the time. They'd made love, again and again before falling asleep.

She worries at her bottom lip as he watches her.

"Is this about Quinn?" He asks quietly.

She stares at him before her shoulder moves up slightly. He sighs, pulls himself up to settle behind her on the couch.

"Rach, we were in high school. For about three months I thought I was going to become a teenaged father. You can't hold that against me."

"You were so upset when you found out that her baby wasn't yours, I wasn't sure you'd be happy that I was pregnant. I was worried you'd ask me if this was yours too." Her voice was quiet; he had to lean closer to hear her.

He grips her shoulder and uses a long finger to turn her head to his. "I love you. And I would never ask you that. I was a kid, and I was hurt. You helped me, you healed me. How can you even question how I'd feel about you carrying my child?"

"I'm sorry."

"You'd better be. I never want you to doubt me like that ever again, please?"

She nods and kisses his finger. He bends to kiss her and pulls her closer into his chest, settling against the couch.

She speaks up after a while, as offhand like she's discussing the weather. "You're going to have to marry me now, you know? I won't have your child out of wedlock."

Her body shakes against his chest as he laughs. "Oh? Really now? Who said I wanted to marry you?"

She slaps his leg hard.

"Ow! I'm sorry baby, I'm just teasing you!"

"Finn Hudson, will you marry me?" She pushes herself up on her knees and turns to him.

He stops laughing and stares at her in awe, the side of his mouth pulling up slightly.

"Did you just propose to me? Are you serious?"

She points to her belly. "I'm carrying your child. What do you think?"

He tugs her to him. "Ask me again." He kisses her.

She grins, touching his nose and kissing him softly. "Finn Hudson, will you marry me?"


"Not pregnant, huh?" Quinn smirks. "Congrats."

She tugs her dress down over her swollen stomach and smiles at her friends. Tina grins, Santana smirks and Quinn just smiles.

"I didn't know. Honestly. I was a couple months along when we found out," she murmurs.

"Rachel sweetie, you were craving meat. You ate chicken. We could've told youz" Santana snickers.

She covers her face and groans. "I know. I was so stubborn. And scared. I didn't want to give up Broadway so soon." She rubs her hand over her belly. "It's worth it though."

"It is." Quinn smiles.

"And you can always go back," Tina says. "Don't worry, I'll keep your spot warm for you." She winks at her friend.

"Gee, thanks!" She laughs.

"I'm betting the honeymoon was hot. Lots of sex and can barely keep your hands off each other. Those pregnancy hormones drive you up the wall, huh Rachel?" Quinn grins knowingly.

"Apparently, Mr. & Mrs. Hudson never left the hotel room. Mike says Finn came back to work grinning like a clown. You'd think being a married man would have a different effect, but nope, he's on cloud thirty-nine." Tina winks as Rachel buries her face in her hands again.

"I can't help it. The sex is good! And Finn is so hot, I can't keep my hands off him! He only has to kiss me and-,"

"Whoa! Stop! Stop! Once was enough for me please, I don't want to hear anything else about Finnocence in bed!" Santana shouts. She grins and drops her gaze to the menu lying on the table.

"He is a good kisser though," Quinn smirks.

"Uh huh." Tina agrees.

"What the-!" Santana turns to Rachel. "Did you know about this?"

"Valentines when we broke up, his stupid kissing booth, just before he dated Quinn again," she murmurs, eyes still on the menu open in front her. She glances up briefly at Quinn. It's not that she wants to bring that up, it's just, yea.

Quinn smiles, reaches over and pats her hand. "He made the right choice after all. You know you two belong together, stop worrying Rachel."


"Kurt?"

"You really have bad timing, Rachel."

"Sorry. Um, can you come home?" She whispers into the phone.

"Why? Blaine, stop it!" He giggles into the receiver.

She closes her eyes and breathes to ten, pulling her rolling suitcase from the corner and slipping into her shoes.

"Sorry, Rach. My boyfriend is a little, um, incensed at the moment. What's up?"

She leans her forehead on the door as another contraction almost cripples her.

"Oh, nothing much. Just that your niece or nephew has decided to come a few days early."

There's scrambling on the other end of the line as both men apparently jump up in surprise. "You're in labour? NOW! Call Finn! I'm coming – Blaine, where are my pants?"

She tries calling Finn's cell again after Kurt and Blaine shout out that they're coming over now.

She sits at the kitchen table, biting her lip against the pain, breathing through her nose and counting the minutes through her contractions.

She doesn't get him, so she tries the station, almost screams in glee (and pain) when Mike answers.

"Michael Chang. If my husband is anywhere near you, you can tell him he should go find a coffin he likes because I am going to KILL HIM FOR DOING THIS TO ME!"

She can hear Mike shouting for them to wake Finn and she grips the phone tighter, her knuckles white as Mike tries to calm her down.

"Mike. I love you. But I'm in too much pain to remember to be nice. Get my husband on the fucking phone!"

An incoming call clicks and she switches over without looking to scream again.

"Baby! I'm so sorry! I'm on the way home! Are you alright?"

"No I'm not! I am in LABOUR!" She cries, almost doubling over. They're coming faster and faster and they hurt more and more.

"I'm sorry sweetie. Just breathe. Remember the books? Breathe through the pain. It's labour, perfectly normal."

"YA THINK!" She screams. She knows the pain is normal, but he's a guy; he doesn't feel this kinda pain.

Kurt and Blaine practically fall over themselves when they open the door, scrambling to their feet. Kurt grabs her bag and Blaine takes her arm, walking them slowly towards the elevator.

"Baby, I'm almost there. I'm at the corner."

She closes her eyes, leans against her brother-in-law's boyfriend and counts numbers in her head. When they get to the doors, Finn is running towards them. He scoops her up in his arms, kisses her forehead and runs back through the door and sits in the back of his truck with her at his side. Blaine slams the door behind them and jumps in the front beside Kurt.

She smacks Finn in the chest and screams at him the entire way there. "I swear to God you're never touching me again! Ever! This fucking hurts!"

She's in the hospital bed crying, and Finn is crying with her. Kurt and Blaine are sitting in the waiting room, waiting on their parents to arrive.

Rachel wails again and Finn grips her hand tighter, brushing his lips over her forehead.

"You're doing great baby, just a little more and we'll have our angel in our arms soon." She squeezes his hand hard enough that her nails dig into his skin.


They end up doing a Caesarean section. Their son is too big to pass through safely but she doesn't care about that because he's lying on her stomach fast asleep, one hand clasped tightly around her finger.

"Finn, he's beautiful," she breathes. She can't stop smiling or kissing him. She kisses her baby's forehead again, looking up at her husband's face.

"He is. And you are too. You're a superstar Rach." He grins at her, his smile pulling up the side of his mouth, amber eyes wet and sparkling.

"Believe me, that was no easy feat." She laughs lightly, wincing at the pain.

"I don't know if I should apologize or buy you ice cream." He frowns.

"Why?" she chuckles.

His fingers creep from their son to briefly brush over hew new scar. "This is my fault."

"It's no one's fault, baby. Besides, I wear this as a badge of honour," she whispers.

"Why?"

She rocks the baby in her arms. "I didn't even know when I was first pregnant, I should have." She strokes his nose and he nestles deeper in her arms. Finn's fingers wrap around the hand the baby is holding on to.

"It's not that I'll ever forget this moment, or this day. But everything I went through: postponing Broadway, not telling you, all my fears about Quinn, if I deserved this happiness, it was silly, but it was worth it. Because I have him. And you still love me."

Finn brushes his thumb over her lips and leans forward, kissing her then pressing his lips to his son.

"I'm never going to stop loving you, you know that, right?"

She nods, blinking away the tears. He smiles at her.

He runs his hand over the downiness of the baby's hair. "What're we gonna call him?"

She thinks for a minute, glancing up at him. "Christopher. Christopher Eli Hudson."


Kurt waltzes in at three in the afternoon. He walks over to the table where his nephew is sleeping in his bassinet.

"So, you have a delivery coming up," he says.

She's at the counter making dinner and Finn is sitting on the couch going over a fire report. They both look up at Kurt's announcement.

"I didn't order anything. Finn?"

He shakes his head.

"It's my gift to you," Kurt says. His fingers stroke the skin of Chris' fist, gripped tightly around an old worn blanket.

"Huh?"

"I'm moving in with Blaine."

"Kurt. No! You don't have to leave; this is as much your apartment as it is ours." She starts tearing up, she can't help it.

"I'm not running away Rachel dear, and I'm just moving a few blocks over. And I'm keeping my key."

"Seriously, Kurt. You don't need to move." Finn gets up and sits down at the table beside his brother.

"Oh, I do. I need my beauty rest and Chris needs his own space," Kurt says. He gets up and goes towards his room, bringing out three large suitcases and his beauty kits, one by one.

"That's all you own? I thought you would have a million suitcases." Finn laughs and she tosses a dishtowel at him.

"I already moved most of my stuff over to Blaine's. It's what I want to do. It's what you two lovebirds deserve and it's what Chris needs." He grins widely, his hands clasped in front him.

The doorbell rings and he struts over to open it wide, letting three delivery men in, and more behind them. "Straight through there please." He point towards his old bedroom.

Shopping bags, a chest of drawers, a rocking chair, a toys chest, a changing table, the last man to come in has a trolley filled with paint and different rolls of wallpaper. She stares wide eyed until the last man leaves.

"You're going to make me smack you." She glares over at Kurt.

"What?" he asks innocently.

"What's all this? Did you rob a store or something? Kurt we already had a baby shower. Where are we supposed to put all this stuff?" She stands in front him with her hands on her hips.

"It's nothing, really, just some stuff for my favourite nephew." Kurt protests.

"Your only nephew." Finn gets up and walks into the baby's new room. A crib and a changing table was the bulk of what was set up in their room, with a new dresser for his clothes and baby stuff. Kurt's bought a whole store, including furniture.

He walks back out. "Why do I think you started buying these as soon as you find out there was going to be a baby. I still can't believe even you knew before me."

Kurt just smiles innocently. He walks over and peeks over at Chris again.

"OK. So here's the plan. If you two don't mind, Carole and Dad are coming up next week for a week in the city. Blaine and I are thinking Rachel and Chris can stay with them at the hotel. We can paint and wallpaper the room while they're gone and then you can decorate the room, with my supervision of course, however you want to."

"Kurt. That's too much. I can't ask you to do that." She brushes tears from her eyes.

"You aren't asking me to do anything Ms. Diva. I want to do this. I can add a new line to my catalog, Babies by Kurt Hummel. I can already see Chris on magazine covers." He claps his hands and his eyes sparkle as he looks over at his brother. Finn has this look on his face, she's a pro at deciphering his looks, and maybe Kurt does too.

"Or not."

She walks over to him and wraps her arm around him, burying her face in his chest.

"I thought the crying thing was supposed to stop after she had the baby?" She hears him say to his brother and she snorts. She steps back and over to the baby, picking his sleeping form up to cradle against her cheek. "Shut up Kurt."

Finn steps over to them and wraps his arms around them. "You ready for a couple days without me?"

She shakes her head. "I'll shuffle my shift so my overnights are during the week. We can at least have the weekend with my parents. You OK with Kurt doing the whole painting thing here?"

She looks at her step-brother-in-law, her best friend, her brother, and sighs. Kurt winks at her. "Yea. I trust him, despite every bone in my body telling me not to."

Kurt laughs. "I'll fulfil a lifetime of babysitting duties. I'll change diapers if I must. You're going back to Broadway missy. Just enjoy motherhood."

"She is," Finn confirms, kissing the top of her head.

She kisses Chris' forehead again, leans her head against her husband's chest. This was so far from her carefully planned schedule and she'd broken her own rules. It wasn't that bad though, was it?

"Just promise me, no more nephews or nieces until Ms. Diva has her Tony." He winks again, dodging the dishrag she throws at him.

She can't even bother to be mad. This is Kurt, after all.


A/N: Silly fluffiness is fun. pregnant!Rachel is awesome and Kurt is just pure gold. A friend of mine actually didn't know she was pregnant til she was well into her fourth month of pregnancy, she was an athlete and on the pill and never had much of a tummy throughout. Again, I've never been pregnant, so this is all my overactive imagination as per usual. Reviews? Me likey.