Break Down
By:
Mystwalker
Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy VII.
A/N: Revisiting Midgar for this one. This little ficlet is an entry into Unattainable Dreams's prompt challenge, A Resolved Argument. My prompt for this challenge was "Break it before it breaks you", sent by BananaPeaceMonkeyKarmi. This fic is 'canon' in the world of Another Side. Enjoy!
XxXxX
Tifa ran a rag over Seventh Heaven's bar top, scrubbing out a stubborn stain. The bar was empty that day after the scene Barret had made when they returned from the Sector 5 Reactor, but Midgar's Sector 7 was never quiet. Sounds drifted in through the makeshift doors from the streets outside: an old drunk singing an off-key drinking song, a roving gang of laughing teenagers who thought themselves street thugs, the distant sound of what might have been gunfire. She glanced at the door to make sure that the latch was set, then at the stairs to make sure Marlene was in bed, and finally at the bar's sole occupant. Cissnei sat with her phone in her hand, staring down at the bartop beneath her.
Tifa fished a glass out of the rack, filling it and plopping it down in front of the ex-Turk. As Cissnei looked up at her, she took a seat behind the bar. "Something on your mind?" she asked.
Cissnei shook her head, picking up the glass and taking a small sip. As she did so, Tifa noticed that she flipped her phone closed, discreetly pulling it closer to herself. "No," she said. "I was just thinking about tomorrow."
Tomorrow. If she was being honest with herself, Tifa was feeling slightly nervous about tomorrow as well. It wasn't that she was worried about facing the Don, but she'd never done anything like this before. A part of her was tempted to let Cissnei take over, but she'd already decided that she wanted to see this through to the end. And Cloud wasn't here. She hoped that he was alright, although Zack still hadn't come back from searching for him.
She was fairly certain that that wasn't what Cissnei was talking about, though. "Who were you talking to?" she asked.
"A friend," replied Cissnei, taking another drink. The motion hid her eyes. It drove home something that she had been thinking for a while now, that despite appearances, they really did know more about Sephiroththan they did about Cissnei. She was always in the thick of things, always the first to join into the conversation. But that was just on the outside. Tifa had been through a lot since Nibelheim. She'd learned about walls, and if she didn't know how to break them, at least she knew how to see them. Cissnei had walls like a fortress.
She pressed further. "Someone you used to work with?" she asked.
Cissnei shrugged. "You could say that," she said. "Why?"
Tifa traced a circle on the bartop with her fingers, wondering where to go from here. From the look Cissnei gave her, it was obvious that the ex-Turk knew that something was up. There was nothing for it now but to press on. "…I was just thinking," said Tifa. "You're…a little distant, that's all."
Cissnei's brow furrowed in confusion. "I'm not distant," she said.
"Who were you talking to?" asked Tifa.
"I have secrets," said Cissnei, pulling her phone closer towards her. "I won't deny that. We all have some things we'd rather not talk about."
"That's not what I meant," said Tifa. She looked into the other girl's eyes, trying to gauge what she might be thinking or feeling, but Cissnei's eyes were blank. Her face was expressive, but if she truly felt anything at all, it was well hidden. The perfect mask. AVALANCHE may not have been the perfect group, but Tifa still harbored the hope that they could get to the point where they wouldn't have to wear masks around each other. "Do you trust us?"
That got her attention. Cissnei sat up a little straighter, her eyes fixed on Tifa. There was some emotion in those eyes now: irritation—and weariness. It made Tifa wonder exactly who she had been talking to, and how that conversation had gone. "I'm still here, aren't I?" she said.
"True." Tifa frowned, lowering her eyes. She picked up the rag, continuing to scrub the bar top. "I guess that's right."
Cissnei watched her for a moment, her frown deepening. She placed her hands on the bartop, one folded on top of the other. "What brought this on?" she asked after a while. "Do I act like I don't trust you?"
Tifa hesitated, thinking through her words. "It's not that you act like you don't trust us," she finally settled on. "It's that you act like you can't."
"Can't trust you?" asked Cissnei.
"Can't trust," said Tifa. Her hand stilled, and she looked Cissnei squarely in the eye. It had taken her a while to figure out what felt so odd about the other woman, but now, she thought she knew. Cissnei wasn't the only person in their little group that seemed to have problems with opening up. It had just taken her longer to see it. She was always there. Always in the middle of things. Always so outwardly sociable.
Walls, Tifa reminded herself, seeing the look in Cissnei's eye change from confused to slightly hostile. Walls and fortresses.
"I—," Cissnei began, staring at her. For a moment, the ex-Turk seemed at a loss for words. "I—you—you can't say that about me."
"It's just something I noticed," said Tifa, frowning. "I'm sorry if I stepped out of line."
Cissnei shook her head. Her hand tightened around her drink, her fingers leaving tracks through the mist on the side of the glass. Despite that, her expression never changed, her eyes remaining fixed on Tifa's. "It's not that," she said. "But I—." She shook her head. "We have two completely different backgrounds," she finally settled on. "I've been working for Shinra my entire life. I was a Turk. I've been trained to remain detached. You have no idea what that's like. You're just—." She stopped talking, as if realizing how her words could be taken. Tifa straightened up.
"I'm just…what?" she asked, raising her voice. She set her rag down. "A country girl? A terrorist? A bartender in the slums? Which were you going to say?"
Cissnei looked up, and almost at once, Tifa saw all of her emotions retreat behind her eyes, like doors slamming shut. All at once, her face showed nothing again. "I didn't mean it that way," she said.
"Of course you didn't," said Tifa, losing patience. "You never meant to offend anyone. You meant it some other way, however you can twist that so it doesn't make me angry. But I don't want to play mind games. You know what I think?"
Cissnei stared at her. "What?"
"I think you've built up walls around yourself so you don't get hurt." Tifa got up, starting to put the glasses away. She spoke as she walked, her eyes turned away from Cissnei. "But I think those walls are going to end up crushing you in the end. You can't stay inside them forever. You have to break them before they break you. But what do I know?" She shrugged, placing the glass back onto the rack. "I'm just a bartender."
Tifa went upstairs, leaving Cissnei at the bar. She could feel the Turk's eyes on her as she left. An hour later, when she looked over from her pallet on the floor, next to Marlene's bed, she noticed the light was still on.
XxXxX
That conversation was fresh in Tifa's mind as she sat next to the window on the second floor of the Rocket Town house, watching the street below. Cissnei stood beside her, looking at the same view. She had her arms folded across her chest, her back leaning against the wall as she peered out the window. Like this, Tifa couldn't tell whether she was scanning the air for any traces of Rufus Shinra or the ground for any trace of Shalua Rui. She didn't say anything to break the silence, instead resting her hand on the desk beside her and turning her attention to other things.
It was Cissnei who eventually spoke up, letting out a long sigh to let Tifa know that she was ready to speak.
"You still think I was wrong about Shalua," she said.
Tifa didn't answer. The events that had happened earlier were still a sore point among them, but what's done was done. There was no point in pressing the issue further. Cissnei watched her for a moment, then glanced away.
"You were right," she finally said.
Tifa looked up. "About what?" she asked.
"In Midgar." Cissnei spoke without looking at her, her eyes focused on the scene in front of her. "When you said I acted like I couldn't trust anyone. You were right. I couldn't back then. I didn't know how to open up. How to let anyone in."
"And now?" asked Tifa.
"I still don't," said Cissnei. "Not really. But I do know one thing. I don't want any of you to die." She took a deep breath. "I sent Shalua to Midgar."
That took Tifa by surprise. "Midgar?" she asked. "Why?"
"Chris and Shion are in Midgar," said Cissnei. "Along with some other former Turks. Shion wants to find Marlene. I've let them know that she's on her way. If she's telling the truth, they'll know about it soon enough, and she can help them."
"And if she's lying?" asked Tifa.
Cissnei's eyes hardened. "Then they'll find out about it soon enough," she said.
Tifa stared at her, then nodded slowly, turning her attention to the window again.
