Minor edits done – if you see anything wrong please tell me.
I know about Nicol (won't give any spoilers away) but I love him too much, so this is set before them – whenever before then.
I don't own Gundam Seed or the characters or nothing.
O
Rough hands pushed me against the wall, and I wondered why I had come. They pinned me there, one hand on each shoulder. It wasn't the first time I had doubted my judgement, it wasn't the first time I had been subjected to these hands. Still, I came back. I knew why I came back as well. In some strange way, I enjoyed it. A masochist, that's me. The metallic white of the floor flashed brighter as one hand of the pair left my body to strike the side of my face as a fist. This was the part I didn't enjoy. I winced and looked up to the all too familiar face of my 'comrade'. Apparently the pained expression on my face only pleased Yzak. The older boy's blue eyes seemed darker than usual – as though there was a restrained mixture of anger and something stronger than desire.
The fist uncurled and slid from my face up to my hair. There, fingers entwined tightly in green locks and tugged viciously. Head slammed back against the wall, I gasped. The sharp pain wasn't a shock, this was just the order things happened in. Neither shock nor pain made me gasp, but I did so every time. Yzak expected it, and, as always, his lips were quick to seal any other sound that might escape from my mouth. I let my lids flutter shut, surrendering to whatever he would demand of me – I didn't think today would be any different to any other, Yzak rarely changed his patterns.
I wonder if it is odd that such an aggressive man could be so passionate in his kisses. One hand still gripping my hair, pulling my head back for easy access, the other bit harder into my shoulder, his silken tongue teased my own. The pain of his nails and fingers faded away in the pleasure of the kiss. This is why I came back. Sure, it came with consequences – headaches and unexplainable scratches being the most common – but I couldn't get enough of my tormentor's mouth. During the depths of a kiss was the only time Yzak allowed me to respond, to return the kiss; still I did so cautiously, caressing the probing tongue gently.
Drugged by Yzak's taste, I was pleased to have the support of the wall behind me – I was even pleased to have his painful grip holding me upright. Then, all too suddenly, he pulled away from my mouth. Left hanging, I waited for the next strike or intimacy. Although I was unwilling to open my eyes, I would have bet anything that Yzak's glorious blue eyes were glaring at me. Every so often he would look at me as though it was my fault this happened every time we were left alone together. The insinuation that it was me whom the blame fell on was more than a little confusing. I was sure it was Yzak that initiated every round, and I was the victim who was not to make a move unless instructed to do so. I had never admitted that I enjoyed any moment of it, but it might have been obvious from my willingness to return. Yzak was just as confused by his emotions as I was – we were probably just young and inexperienced in this plane of social interaction, it didn't help that we were 'elite' soldiers at such a young age. At least, this was my take on my amazing willingness to inflict pain on myself.
When, after a minute of waiting tensed for Yzak's next move, nothing happened, I eased my eyes open slowly. Although his hands still entangled on my person, Yzak's silvery hair was all that filled my vision. He was focused on the door to his and Dearka's room – the room we currently occupied. Confused, I tried to find what had caught my predator's attention without turning my head. I suddenly felt my stomach sink; sincerely wishing I hadn't bothered to make any attempt to look. Perhaps if I hadn't, then what I saw wouldn't have existed. Yzak and Dearka were locked in an intense stare out, neither looked pleased. I was sure pressure was beginning to build in the room, and sparks were about to fly. Their expressions were surprising though. It certainly was not the first time Dearka had walked in on such a scene between his friend and me, but this time was different. For one, Dearka usually seemed content to either leave again, or ignore us and remain on his side of the room. Secondly, Yzak never made eye contact with his friend, as if he were ashamed of something and preferred to ignore Dearka's existence. Indeed, something was very wrong and I was bound to end up suffering the consequences.
"You weren't going to do this anymore – Nicol's too weak and sympathetic for you." Dearka was the first to break the silence, his expression darkened with every word.
I knew I had to leave soon – I had to leave Yzak's tightening hold and escape the room. Yet, I was curious. What sort of argument could be unravelling before me? Between Dearka and Yzak, no less; they made such a good team usually – fighting each other was unusual. There was also the fact that if I tried to escape, either of the two would probably catch me soon enough to inflict pain. So I remained still and silent, waiting passively as I always did for Yzak's next move.
"Maybe that's what I like about him." I was a little annoyed to belatedly realise they were discussing me as if I wasn't standing there in Yzak's arms. "He doesn't try to take control." The intensity of his blue eyes when Yzak turned his face toward mine once more made my knees go weak – I barely noticed the small strained smirk on his lips. We may not have got on as soldiers, but as people I would have done anything for him. "You know who has the power, don't you." There was no question, or anger aimed at me. I nodded, almost swooning at the slight softening of his lips into a smile aimed at me.
Sudden realisation of my mistake hit me when Dearka stormed out of the rooms. When the door slid shut I could hear him kick the door, he must have been truly infuriated – and I was the cause. Panic made me suddenly claw at Yzak's forearms, scrabbling to be let free so I could hide from Dearka's wrath. Yzak frowned and tightened his grip. Noticing that he wasn't going to release me, and seemed intent on causing me more pain, I began to beg aloud, eyes wide.
"Please, I have to-"
I should have remembered that making any sound immediately initiated a silencing kiss. Yzak preferred me silent and passive, sounds of pain or pleasure were unwelcome and silenced quickly. However, he was allowed to make as much noise as he wished. I sometimes wondered if he thought of me as someone else as he kissed and punished me, perhaps the sound of my voice only reminded him that I wasn't the one he imagined me to be. If that was so, I didn't envy the other, for I was the one in Yzak's arms.
With Yzak's kiss, I had forgotten his friend's fury, until Yzak groaned – though I am unsure whether it was from pleasure or annoyance. Pulling away, he glanced to the door again, before flicking his sharp, blue eyes back to me. "Dearka is only jealous. He could never be as submissive."
Dearka was jealous? That couldn't be true, especially if I was the one he was jealous of. Yzak must have had it wrong. I was always too soft for them. They accused me of having too much sympathy for the Naturals. Really, I only had sympathy for the victims of war, and that just happened to include some Natural civilians. As a Coordinator, it was unacceptable for me to have any sympathy for the cold hearted bastards that used us, therefore my comrades usually looked upon me with disdain.
Just as I came upon these thoughts, Yzak did something he had never done before. Releasing my hair and shoulder, he snatched me hands from his arms and pinned them to the wall above my head with one hand. This new move worried me. Whatever he had planned was probably more painful than pleasurable. My current position made me feel somehow more vulnerable than usual. Sometimes Yzak made me wonder where he got his ideas from – his mind was a mysterious, violent place. Satisfied that I was secure, he bent his head to my neck. His free hand brushed my jaw ever so slightly as it passed down. It happened to be the gentlest touch I had ever received from Yzak's hands, even if it was merely an accidental brush, I shuddered with pleasure.
Breathing in the scent of his silver hair, I realised his hand had stopped. It hovered at the opening of my shirt at my neck. The warm dampness of his tongue nuzzled the sensitive underside of my jaw as Yzak ripped the front of my shirt open. It was done with such force; my body was pulled against his, even with my arms restrained. In an attempt to keep me still, he slipped a thigh between my legs, pressing my body back against the wall with his own. If he hadn't known how our encounters affected me before, he did now. I wondered if my body's reaction to his attentions disgusted Yzak, because he paused once again, but perhaps it was merely to decide what to do next.
Leaving a moist trail across my skin, his mouth moved down my neck and along my shoulder. I don't know if he realised that one hand gripped the waist of my trousers and the other had released my arms to fall back into my hair, where it tugged gently. I feared to move my arms too far in case he realised he wasn't tormenting me as much as he was partial to, so I let them rest at the back of my head, against the wall. Somehow I managed to stifle any sound from my mouth by chewing on my lower lip, though I couldn't control my increasingly rapid breaths. Reaching the edge of my shoulder with his mouth, Yzak nipped me hard enough to draw blood – which he licked away with deliberate strokes. He noticed I had followed his progression with my eyes and peered up mid-lick to study my expression. The bite stung, but I was surprised at how gentle he was being, I'm sure my face didn't express the pain he wanted me to feel for he dragged his mouth away. My shirt fell to hide my moist and bloody shoulder as I watched him wide-eyed.
Once again Yzak was giving me the glare that blamed me for everything that had happened. Suddenly he didn't seem as gentle as he had moments before. He lifted his head to meet me eye-to-eye. For a moment I thought I could expect another punch but he didn't make another move to harm me. We merely stood, entwined against the wall – him glaring at me in the most curious way. After a minute, he suddenly stepped back, completely releasing me of his body. Using the wall as support I watched curiously as Yzak turned and pushed himself across the room, floating away from me. My shoulders ached from the position I held my arms above my head, so I let them fall to hang beside me.
Was it over? Dearka may have interrupted but it was still so short compared to our previous encounters. It had also been different in too many ways, so I waited for Yzak to do anything. He didn't move; he merely stood with his back to me, breathing deeply and calmly. After what seemed to be minutes of silence, broken only by my panting, I finally decided it was time to leave. If Yzak didn't want me to escape, he would come after me, so I pushed myself away from the wall and moved slowly toward the door, prolonging my escape so the older boy had a chance to retake me. I found myself wishing Yzak would suddenly sweep across the room and push me to the floor. Things had been getting so interesting and yet the instigator seemed to be shocked at his actions.
The unemotional sound of the door shutting behind me made the moment feel too complete and final, as if something had ended. Frowning to myself, I hurried away, pulling my shirt closed and out of sight of the other crew members aboard the ship.
