Sasuke surveys his immediate surroundings and thinks, 'this is the life.'

Life is a naked Naruto straddling his lap, with harsh keening moans escaping through his throat and fingers grasping desperately at Sasuke's upper arms. Naruto's tight channel slides up and down along and rubs itself against Sasuke's length, the seven-and-a-half-inches journey fairly smooth from the mint-flavoured condom. Sasuke watches as the blond man squeezes his eyes shut, hiding from him that gorgeous piece of summer sky, and how he bites down hard on those pink, rubber lips, so fucking elastic and pouty, to drag back all those screams threatening to stage a prison break.

What Naruto doesn't realise, however, is that his "Mm, mmph!" noises makes Sasuke even harder. The thick muscle inside him swells a further half an inch, and Naruto widens his eyes before giving up control of all his limbs, head dropping abruptly onto a hard chest. Over the past few months Naruto had let his hair grow out a little, and he's swept the end result into a careless side fringe that makes him look both mature and slightly feminine. Sasuke lifts up a cool hand and places it on the nape of Naruto's neck, lips quirking at Naruto's breathy sigh of appreciation, and inwardly sighs.

So- it seems like he actually does have to do some of the work tonight. Moving his other hand onto Naruto's hip, he licks his lips and slams his pelvis up, aim perfect in a violent push against Naruto's prostate.

Naruto's gasp is broken mid-breath, and he doesn't quite recover until a few hours later, when they're cleaned up and snuggled between fresh sheets and covers. Of course, this draining of energy is to be replenished in the form of numerous bowls of ramen, and because Sasuke is a nice boyfriend like that, he wakes up an hour earlier than Naruto and hums his way happily to Ichiraku's for take away. It's a service he's persuaded the old man and his daughter to participate in.

Yes, Sasuke is so happy from his wild passionate lovemaking that he hums. He stops whenever an early riser or health freak jogs past because he's Uchiha fucking Sasuke for crying out loud, but he hums. The tune varies from 'I Wanna Sex You Up' to 'My Heart Will Go On'. Naruto's not the only surprising ninja in Konohagakure.

His wallet is near empty when he carries the metal delivery boxes back home, two in each hand.

He's at the corner of their street when he hears: "...demons are hermaphrodites. I mean like, demon are by definition nymphomaniacs, so you can bet that inflation and petrol prices aren't the only things always up, if you know what I mean. They have all that spare time left over in the Spirit World and they sure as hell don't play poker. Well maybe they do when they're taking a break from their procreating activities, but why wouldn't they have both male and female sexual organs for reproduction? It's like, a logical assumption. Just imagine little hybrid Tailed Beasts running around on their horrible paws, with their Tailed Beast hermaphrodite mummies and hermaphrodite daddies proudly watching on. Anybody can inseminate and anybody can be inseminated, and any part of their genetic makeup can be passed down to the little monsters. It's genius."

Sasuke glances from his peripherals at the girl who said all that so matter-of-factly. She has dark brown hair, a small figure, and (most importantly) glasses. Even the great Uchiha Sasuke is not immune to stereotypes, which is why he associates these glasses with intelligence.

(But Uchiha Sasuke does not wear glasses because they make his face look bloated. He knows this because he has secretly tried on various pairs at the optometrist. Besides, Sasuke doesn't need glasses to look smart. The Uchiha name defines mental astuteness.)

Being in possession of glasses automatically categorises the girl's declaration as pure, simple fact. A smile grows and blooms in a matter of seconds on Sasuke's face and his walk evolves into a powerwalk, half because Naruto's ramen will inflate, and half because of the revelation, the epiphany, that it may be possible for Naruto to get pregnant and continue on his glorious bloodline, HECKYEAH. He's so giddy, he practically glides home, because at the moment his daily routine shifts itself into the following order: ramen, Naruto sex, bath, ramen, Naruto sex, bath, sleep, repeat. Sasuke's common-sense is sent off on a holiday to somewhere with a white sandy beach, cocktails with umbrellas, a beautiful sunset and giant Sharingan eyeballs.

He completely misses it when the girl adds:

"At least, that's how I'm going to explain it in my fanfiction."