ONESHOT ALERT~!

A/N: Swearing and...thats about it. Oh, wait FEMALE America! ENJOY!


"1, 2, 3- Fuck! 1, 2, 3, - Fuck! 1, 2- FUCK!"

Russia looked on in wonder as the blonde continued to start counting and then swear, just to start counting again. They were currently waiting for the Allies meeting to resume and while most of the other nations went off to buy food, or spend time doing whatever it is they would normally do when they have some free time, he and America were the only ones left in the meeting room at this point. America's back was to him while all the way on the other side of the room, so he couldn't tell what she was doing exactly, but it was disturbing his reading. He stared at her for a few seconds, when she had stopped her counting, so assuming she was done; he turned back to his book.

"1, 2, 3, 4,-Fuck! 1, 2, 3- Fuck! 1- Fuck!" came from her mouth once again.

What was that American expression, about assuming and asses? He will ask her later, when she isn't counting and suddenly swearing, and seems a little calmer. But for now, he had to figure out exactly what it was she was counting and swearing AT. Standing up, he walked toward her. When he was a foot behind her, and she still didn't notice him, he realized that whatever she was doing had her full undivided attention…despite her attention span being the size of a fruit fly.

"Amerika." he said as he tried to see whatever it was she was so engrossed in. She jumped, first because he assumed she was surprised, then because she realized who was standing alarmingly close to her. She turned to face him, hiding something behind her back in the process. He smiled. Little America was always so amusing to him.

"What do you want?" she asked, looking at him suspiciously.

"You are doing something, da? I simply want to know what it is that is disturbing my reading." He said looking over her head to see what's behind her back. But she just bent herself backwards to hide whatever it was that was placed there.

"It's none of your business, so leave me alone." She replied, pouting. Or maybe she was trying to be threatening? Ah, how cute she was sometimes~!

"But I think it is, since it is disturbing me." He leaned over her more.

"The hell it is!" She leaned back more.

'How long will it take for her to fall over completely?' Russia thought as he leaned over again. Apparently not very long, because she fell ass over head trying to lean back further so Russia's view would be blocked.

"Глупо Америки*." He said as he stood over her. "Will you tell me what it is now?"

"Step away, you big…thing you!" She said as she crabbed walked backwards from him. He looked at her on the floor and his curiosity increased ten-fold.

"Come now, Comrade, I just want to know what it is~." He said following her across the room.

"Stay where you are, and you might!" She said as her back hit the door. He stopped and waited.

'I can't believe that worked.' America thought as she stood up, not taking her eyes off Russia. His head tilted to the right, his little totally not innocent smile in place. It made her sick! Why you ask? Because he's Russia, duh!

"I'm waiting~." He said smile still in place.

She stared at him. "For what?"

He sighed. "You said if I stopped, you'd show me what you were doing to distract me from my reading. That was the agreement, da?"

"I said I- Stay there!" She said when he took another step towards her. "Fine you creepy bastard." She sighed, then pulled out what she was hiding behind her back. He looked at it and frowned.

"What is that?" He asked as he walked closer to get a better look.

America smiled, suddenly smug. "Of course you wouldn't know about it, since I invented it when I was a little kid!"

"Боже мой*. If you invented it, it must have been for something stupid, da?" He asked as he turned his back to walk back to his book.

"WHAT?" She yelled and stomped over to him. "I'll have you know I was only 6 when I made this! And everyone loved it! And I'm the best one around that can play with it!"

"Is that so?" Russia asked sitting back down. "Then why were you counting and suddenly swearing before?"

She colored at his statement. Then she grumbled something under her breath.

"Hmm, what was that?" Russia asked, a smirk on his lips and a hand cupped around his ear.

"Cuz I haven't played with it in a while! And I'm trying to get used to it again. It's a LOT harder than it looks y'know!"

He looked at the toy in her hand and snorted. She grinned suddenly, but Russia wasn't paying her any mind.

"It really is, and I but you can't even do it ya Commie!"


"C'est vrai ce qu'ils disent de produits alimentaires britanniques*, it was simply horrible." France said as he walked back to the meeting room.

"Sod off you blood frog!" England shouted at him.

"Why? Because not only my food, but everything else of mine is better too?" He taunted.

"Take that back, you twat!" He yelled. This time, France started to yell back too.

"Aiyah, can't you two ever stop fighting, aru?" China asked as he walked a few feet away from them.

"Stay out of it!" Both England and France yelled at him.

"You shouldn't have even bothered." A blond teenager told him.

"…Who are you, aru?"

"I'm Canada…" he replied. "I ate lunch with you 5 minutes ago."

"Really? You don't say, aru."

As they all approached the door to the conference room, they heard angry muted voices. They all got closer in order to hear what was being said.

"1, 2, 3- Ебать*! 1, 2, 3, 4- Ебать!" Came Russia's voice.

"I told ya it's not as easy as it looks! It's my turn again, so give it back!" America's voice came next.

"Нет, it is still my turn!"

"It is not! Besides, you wouldn't even know about it if you weren't so noisy!"

"Kol kol kol kol kol kol…."

"Your s-stupid chant's not gonna s-scare me! I'm a hero!" then the sounds of a one sided struggle started and England panicked.

"Move!" England demanded as he pushed open the door. And he and the others stopped and stared at the sight in front of them.

Standing in the middle of the room was Russia with a paddleball in one hand, and with the other he was holding America back for tackling him by her forehead, while America was trying and failing to get close to him. She was swinging her arms back and forth, trying to at least touch him yet failing.

"You big, creepy asshole, give it back!" She said, starting to become tired.

"Ah, but Ameirka, sharing is caring, da?" He asked back as he started playing with the paddleball again.

"Not when you're involved!"

And the two of them continued on in this manner for this matter for at least another hour, not once noticing the other Allies laughing their collected asses off at their antics.


Aki: This is what happens when I play paddleball with a four year old...But I didn't say 'fuck', I said Danmit alot, and when said four year old took the toy fromme, he started saying it when he missed the ball...Then i got yelled at, then wanted to know when and where paddleballs invented. And I was SO happy when I found out, that I wrote this~! And all my other APH fics will get updated...as soon as my Muse comes back from Vacation~! Hurry back, o' Muse of mine! Reviews would be nice also!

Translations: Нет- No,

Боже мой- My goodness

Глупо Америки- Silly America

Ебать- Fuck,

C'est vrai ce qu'ils disent de produits alimentaires britanniques- It's true what they say about the British,