"AN: This is my first fanfic so I'm sorry if it's not that good. I have tried my best to edit it but if there are any spelling or grandma mistakes, sorry in advanced. I hope you enjoy my fanfic. Oh! And one more this before you start reading this I would like to say that the main character is called Elsbeth. Oh wait, I have another thing, if I have made any mistakes about what really happened please correct me and let me know. I will appreciate all feedback :D ENJOY!"
My perspective.
I stare up at the ceiling, inches from my face. I'm thinking about how depressing and sad our bunch is. Every night we come up with these stories about princess trapped in castles. We come up with story as a representation of hope.
I gave up on hope. There's no point, no point to have high expectations, when all your doing is building your self a tower. The higher the tower the further you fall. One day your tower will be so tall, the moment the fact hits you that there is no hope, the harder you hit the ground.
I hit that ground really hard. I had a really tall tower.
I was nine, nine years old. I had a happy family. One I thought loved me. Well parents I thought loved me. I had a happy child hood. I was that kid who didn't care what others thought and just did it. I always did almost anything and everything that came to mind. Maybe I did all those stupid and ridiculous things because somewhere deep down I new nothing lasted forever. Not happiness, joy, or even love.
I always had a load mouth and spoke up for others, fought back. I didn't stay in the shadows. I never let anyone push me down.
At least I didn't when I was a kid. At least I didn't before I knew pain.
It kind of shocked me that day. The day the PSF's came. I was at school, it was raining. I rode my bike to school that morning. We didn't live that far from the school, just a few minuets ride on my bike. But it was strange that morning I had concluded years ago.
It started out like every other morning. Mom made my big sister Alina, who was 15, and I breakfast, and packed our lunch. After that point things went a little differently. Alina goes to a different school to me, so dad drove her. But he didn't offer me a ride even though he usually does when its raining.
Alina and dad left before me because they had further to go. But when they went to leave dad didn't hug me or give me a kiss good bye. When I gave my big sister a hug good bye, dad got in the car and didn't come out. Alina got in the car and dad just drove off without even a wave goodbye.
When it was time for me to leave to get to school Mom didn't even leave the kitchen. I called out to her and all she said was "bye Elsbeth, make sure you get to school." What she said didn't make sense to me than, but it does now.
When I got to school the PSF's took me. I hadn't even locked my bike. I rode with my school bag in my front basket on my bike. So, the second I got off my bike my hands were painfully wrench behind my back and zip tied. Tight.
I was the second on the big yellow bus. The first was a girl, maybe a little older than me with green eyes and brown hair, she was still in her pyjama's. I would later come to know a her as Ruby. I sat down on the set-in front of her next to the window.
It was that moment that I started to build my tower.
I looked out the window and saw a silver car. It had reminded me of our old family car. The one Alina and dad had drove of in that very morning. At the thought of Alina I stated to lay the first bricks of my tower.
At the begging, it was that hope that kept my going, the tower I was slowly building for myself. It kept me quite on the bus. It kept me awake in the ware house we were kept in overnight. Sitting on the cold floor, still zip tied, not allowed to sleep.
It was what kept me still, and obedient when the PFS tolled us to stay on the ground frozen because a PSF had shot herself and a boy told us to run. But got he killed instead. I listen to the PSF because of my hope, I didn't want to die, I knew it was pointless to run at that point. I wasn't stupid enough to think they wouldn't beat us, wouldn't catch us, and maybe even wouldn't shoot us. Not after all the kids they had hit on that dreadful bus for crying. I was intuitive and smart cookie at nine, but naïve. I had the delusional idea that my sister would come get me and if I ran I would end up like that dead kid lying in the, mud, less then 20 feet away.
I was classified as a green. All the girls that were on my bus that day, that were green got put into cabin 27, our cabin. Later, that hope, that tower didn't just simply obey anymore. I used my tower as strength. It got me in trouble a lot. I was often punished and beat for all the times I looked into a PFS's eyes in challenge or stood up for another green in need. One day the PFS's had, had enough. That was the day my tower crashed. That was just over half a year ago now.
The girl standing next to me getting harassed by a PFS. He was yelling in her face, telling her to start over. He threw everything she had done, over the side of the table, onto the floor in the new row over. He tolled her to pic it up. Now this was where everything changed for me. Usually I just stand up verbally but what the PFS did next changed everything.
This PFS was new and had just rotated shifts to our cabin. When the girl bent down to pic everything up the PFS firmly planted his foot into her back and pushed down on her. Hard. He pushed so hard even after she hit the ground, she kept going forward and went flying head first into the table in front of her. There was a large smudge of blood on the flood, more pooling at the girls face from her nose, that was probably broken. She was also out, out cold. The two girls standing at those tables just stood there and gawked. I on the other hand did no such thing.
I jumped over my table and shoved the PFS in the chest. Hard. I was strong for a fourteen-year-old. He went stumbling backward and hit his head on a table. At first he cracked his eyes open slightly, but only to shut then again as he lost consciousness. Suddenly there was a white noise machine right in my ear knocking me out with a wave of agony.
After that my memory is slightly blurry. I remember the pain. I was hit over and over. And when that was done in stuffed into dog kennel. It was winter, and it had been snowing. The snow had crept into the kennel. I was delirious, from pain and cold and hunger. I was cramped all over. Squished into a dark cold dog kennel. I'm not quite sure how long I was in there, after the first few days I lost track of time. I think it was maybe, a week? Or longer I think. I wasn't given food often. Maybe once every two days. Even when they did give me food it wasn't much. I couldn't stomach much till they let me out was I given any food. I was given water, they didn't want me to starve to death. In that dark place that precious water was bliss. In that time all I could thing was she wasn't coming. Alina wasn't coming. For that first night I cried and cried until I couldn't cry no more. My tower was falling, it was crumbling. My hope was shrivelling.
When I got out I wasn't the same. I didn't talk, I don't talk. I did everything I was told, am tolled. Ever since that day I have been lulled into a numbness. Everything I do is on auto pilot.
The only time I pause to think is at time like now. Right before I go to sleep. Sometimes I replay that final morning. Sometimes I go over the super hero stories I came up with when I was a kid with my best friends. I mostly go over the ones where the hero saves the day. Where, Stick Guy is defeated and his minions too.
It's not hope, I refuse to believe it's hope. I know it's not. When I think about those child hood stories I think about the hero and how there is no one to safe them. They have to save themselves.
I'm lying here thinking about all that has happened when the girl in the bunk below me interrupts my thoughts.
"Hey, Elsbeth. Get up. Something is going on" she whispers.
There is a commotion. Something is happening by Ruby and Sam's bunk. I hop out of my bed to see Ruby, eyes shut, in a slumped sitting up position with Sam holding her by the shoulder. Sam is shaking Ruby, franticly saying her name, but she won't wake up.
