16
"They were wrong." By "Deaths little princess"
Song fiction "Chop Suey!" By system of a down.
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam wing. The events and or characters in this story do not affect the events and or characters of the actual series. I am merely borrowing them to fulfill my own twisted purposes. I do promise to put them back where I found them when I'm done though.
Warning! This story contains male on male sexual content, self-mutilating acts and a violent crime of passion. If any of the material mentioned above offends you…don't read this story.
Authors note: This Is my first finished fan-fic, so please be gentle with me. I would like to know what readers thought of it though.
Whenever a relationship ends with someone you care about, there's always that one person that's happily married or is with someone they love that tells you in a condesending manor, as if they're better then you that it's better to have loved and lost, then to have never loved at all."
Well they were wrong.
Sunlight poured into the bedroom of the small apartment waking the braided figure that lay sprawled gracefully across the king sized bed. His eyes fluttered open a moment before he began lifting himself off of the sheets with his right arm but immediately collapsed back onto them as a searing pain danced across the nerves of his shoulder. He glanced down at his arm to find the source of the discomfort to see an angry red bruise lay over a large area of his skin.
//Wake up,
Grab a brush and put a little (make up)//
He paused shortly to allow the pain to die down before pushing himself into a sitting position with his good arm. He sighed with exasperation and shook his head. He reached into his bedside table drawer and began rummaging through the many bottles that lay inside with a look of disgust on his face. When had he become the kind of guy who wears make up?
A tiny pale bottle of cover up lay among many others of the same shade. He picked it up and squeezed a good-sized glob into his hand and rubbed it gingerly onto his wounded shoulder.
//Grab a brush and put on a little,
Hide the scars to fade away the (shake up)
Hide the scars to fade away the//
When he thought of how he got this deep angry bruise, tears nearly sprang to his eyes as he recalled the scene from the night before. The love of his life had come home to the tiny apartment they shared in a fit of rage. Duo had run to embrace his mate as he walked through the door as always, when he realized that something was terribly wrong. Instead of returning Duo's hug with his usual gruffness, Heero grabbed one of Duo's outstretched arms and violently twisted it behind his back with his legendary swiftness.
Heero gave no greeting or sign of affection but the shock and pain caused by his actions brought the young American man to his knees. Duo shot Heero a hurt and puzzled look but was met only with eyes of cold, Persian blue fury. "I saw you with Hildi today. You said you broke it off!" He said accusingly while slowly applying more and more pressure to Duo's wrist twisting it still further behind him.
//Why'd you leave your keys upon the table?
Here you go create another fable. //
If Duo hadn't been so flexible from years of training Heero might have ripped the muscle from Duo's arm or even broken it. He looked pleadingly at him through tear-blurred vision, almost begging him with his eyes to believe him as he replied, " I did! I swear it; she came to see me at work and get me to take her back. I told her that it's over between us! You're the one I love, Heero…Please!" He cried as his arm was yanked roughly. Heero held him for a moment longer, seeming to consider if he should accept his answer or not.
Just as Duo thought he might pass out from the pain, Heero released his death grip on his poor mangled arm. He stalked off through the kitchen and went into the bathroom. A few moments later the sound of rushing water from the shower could be heard.
//You wanted to,
Grab a brush and put a little make up//
This wasn't the first time something like this had happened. Many times Duo had sported the marks of Heero's anger. Which he blamed on getting into fights when the guys at work asked him about the occasional shiner he came to the scrap yard with. But the harsh words that Heero dished out so freely hurt him far worse then any physical wound. Duo had cried all that night until finally, exhausted, sleep over powered him near dawn.
Heero took off after his shower and hadn't returned since. This was something that happened more and more lately. But what really worried him was that Heero just sneaked out the door with out saying a word to him. Duo didn't even realize that he was gone for at least an hour. When he finally entered the bathroom to check on him, he had disappeared. This brought flooding back the thoughts that had haunted him all through the night before.
Why would he have to sneak out of the house if he didn't have anything to hide? Was Heero cheating on him? Was it another man or worse…a woman? Did Heero even love him any more? The way Heero treated him sometimes made him wonder. If he lost Heero he didn't know what he would do. If he didn't have Heero, he didn't have anything. He had given up all he had to be with Heero.
//You wanted to,
Hide the scars to fade away the shake up,
You wanted to,\\
The thought of loosing Heero brought on that sick urge he feared so much yet had no choice but to obey that had plagued him for the past few months. He walked slowly almost reluctantly through the kitchen to the bathroom. He opened the medicine cabinet both hoping desperately that Heero hadn't found it and almost wishing that he had. He felt around the very top shelf behind the pink bottle of Pepto-Bismol until his fingers brushed the hard plastic sunglasses case that lay hidden there.
//Why'd you leave the keys upon the table?
You wanted to. //
Feelings of both disappointment and relief flowed through him. Heero hadn't found it…yet. Duo opened the case ran the tip of his finger along the cool thin metal blade that lay inside. He stared at it for a moment before reaching onto the linen closet and pulling out a dark blue face cloth. He carried the blade and the washcloth to the bathtub and sat on the edge. He turned on the faucet and wet the cloth thoroughly, then began to scrub his left arm.
The cover up washed off easily revealing several rows of thin white scars along his wrist and further up his arm. They crossed each other in some places making patterns etched into his skin. He found a spot with the least amount of scar tissue and placed the razor blade against the skin of his wrist… lovingly, reverently, and fearfully. With one swift motion he pressed down and dragged the blade across his skin. He watched the flesh separate behind the blade as a crimson wave rushed at his face then fell to the bottom of the tub, splattering into several smaller droplets. A moment later his tears mingled with the blood that began to pool near the drain, but they had nothing to do with fresh angry cut.
// I don't think you trust,
In, my, Self righteous suicide,
I, cry, when angels deserve to die. //
He watched the blood spill from his body as his sweet release spent it's self. Soon the blood slowed and he wrapped the wound with the washcloth and applied pressure to it, forcing it to clot and cease flowing. He smiled, his addiction sated, and then he turned on the shower and erased all traces of his actions. Duo replaced the small razor blade in its box and put it back on the shelf. He silently sent a prayer to the god of death for whom he was nicknamed, asking for forgiveness. His death would have to wait. He then busied himself with wrapping the fresh cut in a bandage and reapplying the cover up. He felt secure as the raised white lines disappeared under his skilled fingers, as though he had just hidden away an ugly piece of his soul.
// Wake up,
Grab a brush and put on a little (make up),
Grab a brush and put on a little//
He wondered why he even bothered with the stupid cover up anyway. Not like anyone could see the scars through the long sleeved shirts he wore every day. So the only person who would have the chance to see them would be Heero. Even then the only time he would see them would be when they made love, and hell knows that he hasn't even touched him in months.
Duo remembered with a girlish blush how hungry he would make his lover when they first realized their attraction to each other. The fevered pitch their lovemaking would reach had far surpassed that of his meaningless couplings with Hildi, or anybody else for that matter. He didn't want his relationship with her to be meaningless but he just wasn't sexually attracted to her. He did care for her and all, but he wanted a relationship not just a friendship.
//Hide the scars to fade away the (shake up),
Hide the scars to fade away the//
He felt bad about hurting the poor girl but he didn't love her. He loved Heero, no matter what happened he would always love Heero. He thought about the scars that marred his pale flesh with a sudden feeling of disgust. Would Heero love him anymore if he found out? Did he love him at all? Something wasn't right and hadn't been for a long time, he thought as he walked out of the bathroom. And honestly he had had enough of it. His relationship with Heero was unraveling fast.
//Why'd you leave your keys upon the table?
Here you go create another fable. //
He needed to talk to Heero before he lost him forever. A faint glimmer of hope filled Duo's heart at the thought of things being as they were before. He knew what had to be done. He would go to Heero and find some way to make things right. The only problem now was that he didn't know where to find him. It didn't matter, he decided. He would go out and look for him. Duo strode over to the bedside table where his keys lay next to the lamp.
That was when he noticed that Heero's bedside table drawer lay open a crack. He absentmindedly went over to close it when something strange caught his eye. He pulled the drawer all the way open, but what he saw inside made his heart sink. Heero's gun lay nestled in a bed of hand written letters. He lifted the gun out of the drawer and turned it over in his hands examining it. The metal glinted in the fading sunlight and felt cold and unforgiving, yet strangely comforting.
// You wanted to,
Grab a brush and put on a little make up,\\
The sight of it worried him though; Heero never left the house without it. The "perfect soldier" in him wouldn't let him. With his free hand Duo picked up one of the strange letters and began to skim through them almost without interest until the Signature at the bottom snapped his attention fully to the letter. He couldn't believe it. He sat down and read the letter all the way through, then grabbed another, then another until all the pieces of paper lay strewn all over the bed. Duo's sense of hope was now shattered replaced by anger tinged with a sharp pain. He grabbed his keys and rushed out the door.
Duo drove in a daze of confusion and was unaware of his surroundings. He just didn't understand. Countless nights had he prayed for their happiness and thanked god for the presence of Heero in his life. Apparently this was not enough. It seemed that for some reason god had not seen fit to answer these prayers. Well it didn't matter anymore.
He suddenly found himself in front a huge iron wrought gate. This gate that would have denied entry to anyone else on the colony, save for Heero. However it posed no threat to the determined young man. After silently knocking the two guards that protected it unconscious, he scaled the gate and made his way up the curved driveway deftly escaping the attention of more guards who were watching over the rows of expensive cars that were parked there.
He found an open, unattended window on the ground floor and crept silently inside. He had never been to the mansion before but he remembered a blueprint he saw once. Heero had somehow managed to dig them up from some site on the Internet and had left them on the kitchen table last year when he was planning to plant a bomb in the manor to finally complete his mission of killing the renowned Relena Peacecraft.
Yeah, so much for that plan. He slipped his way through the ground floor until he found the master staircase. He climbed them and walked around to the left of the landing where the elevator was.
He rode it to the third floor where he found himself in a corridor with many doors. He ignored all of them all however and continued to the end where he found another, smaller staircase that led to a single door. He climbed the small staircase but stopped at the door.Deep from inside the room the sounds of hushed panting could be heard.
//You wanted to,
Hide the scars to fade away the shake up//
Duo grabbed the doorknob only to find it locked so he took a few steps back and sent his foot crashing into the door. The sheer force of his kick tore the door clean off of its hinges and it fell crashing to the ground with a loud bang. The sight that lay beyond the fallen door confirmed his worst fears and all sense of reason was torn from him.
His lover, His lover lay under a naked and trembling Relena. Duo could feel something inside him snap. He strode over to the bed and grabbed a fistful of Relena's golden bronze hair and yanked it so hard she was thrown backwards and onto the floor. She let out a tiny yelp as her head hit the floor but then was silent when she saw Duo's face. "That's MINE, Bitch." He growled murderously.
At the sight of Duo with Hell in his eyes Relena screamed and ran out of the only other exit of the room, not even bothering to cover herself.
Heero stared blankly at the doorway through which Relena had fled, obviously upset about being interrupted. He stared for a long time, reluctant to look at Duo. How was he supposed to explain his way out of this one? Finally, hesitantly his gaze shifted to the doorway only a few feet away. Though he was sorry the minute he did because he found himself starring down the barrel of his own gun.
What the hell was he doing with Heero's gun? Duo thought dimly to himself. He must have tucked it into the waistband of his pants before he left the house without even realizing it. His finger trembled on the trigger and tears began streaming down his face. He just couldn't do it. Not when the man he loved looked so damn sexy curled up on the bed, half covered with a sheet. Suddenly, without warning a deep burning hunger ignited in the pit of Duo's stomach.
//You wanted to,
Why'd you leave your keys upon the table?
You wanted to. //Too many nights had he lain next to Heero without reaching out too him. Too many times had he tasted this hunger and done nothing about it. Well no more. Duo crawled onto the bed, gun in hand and took his proper place on top on Heero. He straddled him, pressing his clothed rapidly hardening length against his bare stiff member.
Duo had a coy little smile on his face. He would make Heero remember how good a hard male body could feel. Make him realize that he didn't want that little blonde bitch. As their erections rubbed together a low moan escaped Heero's lips but Duo swept down and swallowed it in a passionate kiss. He could taste Duo's hunger, feel it in the way he moved. But more importantly he could see it in his eyes.
Gone were the fury vengeance replaced by a deep love and insatiable desire. Duo's cobalt blue eyes stared into Heero's Persian blue depths. He melted into Duo's kiss, gave himself over to his lips and playful tongue and realized that he had denied himself this beautiful creature for far too long.
Heero reluctantly pulled away from Duo's kiss, panting from the heat of it. He grabbed Duo's shirt and begun to tear off the buttons with his teeth. When the last button holding his shirt together was gone Duo shrugged it off, baring his sculpted chest. Heero splayed his hands over it, relishing in the hard muscles under his fingertips while rocking his hips against Duo's now full arousal. How he'd forgotten the wonderful sensations that only Duo could bring him.
Heero reached down to help rid Duo of his bothersome belt and pants. They were thrown on the floor carelessly behind Duo and were soon followed by his shiny black boxer shorts.
Duo felt a muscle twitch beneath his thumb as it rubbed the pale pink skin of Heero's sensitive nipple. He leaned forward, claiming it in his mouth and rolled the nub of flesh gently between his teeth causing a shiver of pleasure to run down Heero's spine. Heero shuttered as Duo intensified his efforts then he lifted his chest to give Duo better access to his other nipple.
Duo flicked the second one with his tongue before slipping it in between Heero's parted lips. They tasted as sweet as a rare wine reserved for the gods, and he drank from them deeply savoring every taste. Duo tore his lips from Heero's and dragged them across his chin and down his throat, nibbling on the flesh along the way. He rubbed both hands down Heero's chest and the rock hard muscles of his abdomen.
Duo kissed the hollow of his throat and Heero could feel his warm breath as his face wandered along the skin of his smooth chest. He pulled his face away but continued down the length of Heero's body with his hand. Past his belly button and the nest of small curls that lay below. Finally he stopped at the inside of the young mans thighs.
Duo started dragging his hand up and down the inside of Heero's leg. The young Ex-pilot cringed as Duo got ever closer with each pass yet never touched the place where he wanted, no, needed him the most. Duo could feel the heat he was creating in the lustful body in front of him. This only served to heighten his own pleasure.
// I don't think you trust,
In, my, self righteous suicide,
I, cry, when angels deserve to die,
In my self righteous suicide,
I, cry, when angels deserve to die. //
Just as Heero thought he might go insane with the exquisite torture of it all, Duo neared his aching shaft and delicately wrapped his fingers around it in a firm, yet surprisingly gentle grip. He heard the hiss of Heero's quick intake of breath and felt the uncontrolled shudder as his hand began to move. Up and down, slowly at first then faster and faster, helped along by the slight sheen of sweat that was covering his body until Heero arched up on the wrinkled sheets.
Duo smiled at his lover's reaction and felt a secret sense of pride of still being able to make his love writhe with pleasure. He brought his face closer to Heero until he could smell the faint musky scent of male arousal.
He took Heero's manhood into his mouth. He teased the flesh with a slight sigh as his tongue danced across it. Duo took in as much of Heero's length as he could until he thought he might gag. But he didn't care. All he cared about was this moment. The whole world could be burning in flames and he wouldn't have known.
Then suddenly an indescribable hunger exploded within the pit of his stomach, and could wait no longer. He released Heero and rose to position him self between the young mans thighs. Heero's mind was hazed with desire and it took him a moment to realize Duo's intentions. When he did however, he raised his hips to meet what was coming.
However Duo paused. It was torture but he made himself wait. He needed something from the man who he had given his heart and soul to. He reached out his hand and brushed Heero's cheek causing his eyes to flutter open. They were vibrant with desire as they gazed at Duo's face, which had grown serious. Straining to keep the desire from his face as he held Heero's hips close to his body, Duo asked the question that had been haunting him for ages.
// Father, father, father, father,
Father/ into your hands
/I/ command my spirit/
Father into your hands. //
" Heero… do you love me?
There, he had done it. He had managed to work up the nerve to get it out. But now that he did he dreaded the answer. Heero gazed upon that beautiful face so full of doubt and had to laugh. He said simply " What do you think, baka? Then he did something completely unexpected. He smiled.
Tears of joy began to stream down Duo's face and he just had to smile himself. Duo slid gently into him and a moan escaped both their lips. The tightness all around him caused a shiver to crawl down Duo's spine. He felt Heero pushing against him needing to be filled as he twisted and writhed in a desperate urge pull him in deeper.
He let Heero wiggle for a moment before moving against him, inside of him. He could Feel Heero's manhood pressed to his stomach. With each thrust it teased him, stroking the fires of his passion to greater heights.
He filled hero neatly, perfectly, then nearly withdrew. Just as he did so Heero wrapped his slender yet muscled legs around Duo's hips, pulling him in deeper then before.
They wrapped their arms around each other and rocked together in the rhythm of love. As tension in their bodies was reaching it's peek Duo began to rock harder and faster then ever before. He felt the body beneath him go ridged for a long moment before a warm wetness spread across his belly and a deep guttural cry signaled Heero's release. "uuuhhh!
That sexy cry of his and a few more thrusts were all it took to send his essence barreling into the now limp, spent body. Duo suddenly found himself unable to support himself any longer and collapsed onto Heero's heaving chest.
Strong arms wrapped themselves around Duo's sweaty shoulders and gently held him in place. He felt Heero give him a little squeeze of a hug, which he did not return. A few moments passed before he heard Heero whispering softly in his ear. " Duo, I'm sorry. I know I've been an ass but I do love you." Duo was speechless, what could he say? The only thing he could manage at that moment was a very shocked grunt. "Hnm." Even Duo was amazed by how much like hero he had sounded. Within moments the sound the sound of even breathing signaled that Heero had fallen asleep.
He couldn't believe the nerve of this man. Even now he was manipulating him. What? Did he think he could pull a bullshit apology and an "I love you" out of his ass and every thing would be all better again?
After all the pain he had put him through he honestly thought that things could be wonderful again? Duo looked down at his naked body and realized that the cover up he wore had come off in places. There were spots where he could clearly see the purplish black bruise on his shoulder and several of his scars. The gauze of his bandage had come off in their efforts as well, clearly displaying the angry red gash.
Well he was wrong. He was sick of being walked on and taken advantage of. He slowly pushed himself up off of his lover and removed himself from him.
Tears suddenly sprang to his eyes again as he remove the object, which he had hidden under the pillow and pressed it to Heero's forehead. He would not be used any more. With that thought he pulled the trigger of Heero's gun. The bullet roared from the gun and made contact with the target. Blood splattered on his face but he didn't care. Not any more. He didn't care about anything anymore. He smiled, almost in relief now that the deed was done.
Duo closed his eyes and paced the gun to his own temple. The sizzling hot barrel made him realize that he had been wrong. It would appear that the God of Death would be receiving a gift this night.
Duo's last words to the man that he had loved so dearly were quite simple. "I'll see you in Hell, my angel." His finger moved in the darkness and his limp lifeless body fell to the already bloodied sheets.
// Trust in my self-righteous suicide,
I, cry, when angels deserve to die,
In my self righteous suicide,
I cry when angels deserve to die.//
