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Chapter One: Broken
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Squall Leonhart stood in front of the window gazing out at the vast industrial city of Esthar. The bright lights of the city shimmered in the moonlight. His hand gripped the gunblade that hung from its scabbard on his hip. When did it all go wrong? Why did she turn to him, instead of me?
The sight of an approaching aircraft broke his train of thought. Shit. They don't give up do they?
"Squall?" the timid female voice came from behind him.
"Yeah, Sis?" he replied, not taking his eyes off the ship.
Ellone paused and fidgeted with her scarf for a moment then continued, "The Garden delegation is here."
Squall nodded slowly, "I saw them." He turned away from the window to look at his sister putting a fake smile on his face, "I'm ok. I'm not here, Sis."
Ellone sighed and shook her head, "You really think that you can run from her forever, Squall?"
Squall shrugged, "Maybe. It's already been a year, Sis. She has moved on. That's why I left Garden, remember?"
"Does she know why you left?" Ellone asked.
"Probably not." Squall answered as he walked over to his desk and grabbed his drink. He stirred the alcohol in the glass around watching it spin. "Doesn't really matter. I saw them. They didn't see me. I didn't stick around to care if they did."
Ellone noticed that his tone was both sad and angry. A strange combination of emotions. Even after a year he was still angry at being betrayed by the woman that meant the most to him in this world and one of his best friends. She could understand, although she loved both Rinoa and Zell, she herself was upset with them when Squall had told her the news. She was even more shocked to discover that she was the only one Squall had told. He hadn't even told the rest of his friends or even Laguna, whom he had grown closer to over the last year.
"Squall...If you don't want to see them I will understand. But shouldn't they at least know why you left?" as soon as the words left her mouth, she immediately regretted them. She took a step backwards in case Squall blew up at her.
For a moment Squall thought about doing just that. But then thought better of it. He knew his sister hadn't meant to upset him, she was truly concerned for him. Worried that he might once again slip back into that darkness that was his life until Rinoa had pulled him out of it.
He kept his voice calm so not to upset her, "Sis, if you want to tell them fine." He shrugged again, "Besides, even if I did see them they more then likely wouldn't be able to accept the new me."
'The new Squall'. Hearing him say those words made her flinch slightly, she herself had not entirely gotten used to him. Sometimes it would scare her to see how much he had changed since he left Garden.
Ellone had considered asking him the next question a dozen times in the past but had always held back, fearful that he would only get upset and leave. Not wanting to lose her brother again she refrained in those previous attempts, but now it needed to be asked.
"Do you still love her?"
Squall arched an eyebrow, surprised that she had actually asked him that question but a small smile replaced it, a genuine smile held in place for a moment then vanished as his face returned to his normal emotionless position, "Yes I do. But what good does it do to love someone, and not have them love you?"
Ellone sighed again, then left the room. Leaving her brother to his sadness, which was something she hated doing.
****
She greeted the Garden delegation in the Presidents briefing room. Ward and Kiros, her step-fathers trusted aides both bowed as she entered the room. Laguna himself was sitting behind his huge mahogany desk while three other familiar faces stood around him. Learning the art from her brother she plastered on a fake grin and greeted them.
"Zell, Quistis...Rinoa." she had not meant to say Rinoa's name in an uneasy tone, it just slipped out.
"Sis!" Quistis exclaimed as she crossed the room and gently hugged the older girl. "How have you been?"
"I've been better, Quisty." she replied softly.
Quistis nodded and let Zell through to hug his adopted sister. "Sis...it's good to see you." he said as he held unto her tightly.
She could immediately sense the pain that he had been carrying with him.
As Zell pulled away Rinoa walked slowly up to her, her eyes full of sadness and despair. It was a sight that Ellone never thought she would see in the young sorceress's eyes. It nearly broke her heart. Before the tears overwhelmed her she held her arms out to embrace the young woman. Rinoa gratefully accepted and hugged Ellone tightly.
"I miss him, Ellone." she whispered softly.
Ellone patted the girl on the back, "We all do, Rinny."
Rinoa pulled away from the hug and wiped a tear from her eye. "Have you...heard or seen...?"
Ellone wanted to just explode and admit that he was upstairs and tell the young woman to go and reclaim her knight. But her brothers words came back to her, he didn't want to see them, especially Rinoa or Zell. Maybe she could talk him into speaking with Quistis, but that would have to wait.
She decided to tell them that she had heard from him. "I have spoken to him."
Rinoa's eyes lit up and a small hopeful smile spread across her pale face. "What did he say?" she asked with a controlled excitement.
Ellone glanced around the room then grabbed Zell and Rinoa and pulled them into the hall.
"Ellone, please tell me." Rinoa pleaded.
The older woman bit at her lower lip and frowned. "Are you sure you want to hear this?"
Both Rinoa and Zell turned ghostly white, each of them getting closer to understanding why Ellone had only pulled them away and not Quistis.
Reluctantly, Rinoa nodded. "Yes, I just need to know that he's...okay."
Ellone sighed, "He's not okay, Rin."
Rinoa could feel the tears begin to form in her eyes. "What happened?" she asked, trying to force back the tears.
Ellone licked her lips trying to moisten them, "He knows..."
That was all that needed to be said. Zell and Rinoa understood completely.
Zell crossed his arms over his chest and hung is head as Rinoa leaned back against the wall and slowly slid down to the floor. The dam having been destroyed as the tears flowed freely down her cheeks. She covered her face with her hands and began to sob uncontrollably.
"It...was a mistake...I never meant to hurt him. I love him...I...I was so...stupid." Rinoa stammered.
Zell crouched in front of her and placed his hand on her shoulder, "We were both stupid Rinny. Damn, he knew. That's why he left isn't it Sis?"
Ellone nodded and whispered, "Yes."
Rinoa shook off Zell's hand violently, "Please, Zell don't touch me like that."
Zell cringed from her reaction but nodded anyway, "I understand."
Rinoa shook her head and whispered, "No you don't. That man...was the best thing in my life... and I ruined it. I didn't just lose my knight that day, Zell. I lost apart of my soul." Rinoa buried her face in her hands once again.
A flash of confusion spread across Ellone's face, "You and Zell...aren't together?"
Rinoa gasped and struggled back to her feet, "No! No...I only want Squall..." she trailed off, the words getting caught in her throat.
Ellone nodded in understanding.
"Sis?" Zell spoke softly. "Do you know where he is?"
Ellone could feel the words struggle to be released, her stomach began to turn and her skin suddenly paled. She fought back the urge to tell them that he was one floor up behind the third door on the left. Sulking in his bedroom, more then likely staring out the window and talking to his GF.
"No, Zell I don't know where he is now..." she lied, praying that her friends would believe her.
"Ellone!"
Laguna's panicked screech came from his office. She quickly darted into the room, momentarily forgetting about her friends who followed her.
"Laguna? What's wrong?" she asked.
Laguna was about to tell her, until he notice that Zell and Rinoa had followed her into his office. He shot them an angry glance, but tried to ignore them.
He paused for a moment, trying to push his anger back down, "Is it true? About Squall? About what they did?"
Laguna pointed at the two young people behind his step-daughter. Rinoa flinched at the accusation, but wisely avoided a conflict, knowing that she was the one to blame.
"It's true, Laguna." Rinoa answered as she took a quick glance at Quistis who was staring at her feet, trying to avoid eye contact with the sorceress.
Laguna could feel his cheeks begin to heat up as he clenched his fists. Letting out a low mumble, he slammed his fist down on his desk creating a small dent in the strong wood.
"Dammit!" he yelled through clenched teeth. "Why did you hide this from me?"
Ellone took a step forward and placed her hand on the older man's shoulder, "He didn't want you to worry. You know how he is, Laguna. He didn't want any of us to worry."
Laguna calmed down a bit at his daughters touch, "I'm his father, Ellone. I love that boy. He's been through enough in his life. Ultimecia, these two and what he's going through now. It's not right!"
Rinoa became extremely worried at the mans words. Going through now? What is he going through now?
The sorceress took a timid step forward and asked, "What is he going through now?"
Laguna arched an eyebrow his rage at the young woman once again began to rise, "Like you care? Dammit, Rinoa. I had seriously thought that you had taken after your mother. You gave me every impression that you had. But now this..."
Rinoa tried to ignore Laguna's harsh words but in her current emotional state she found it impossible to do so. The tears once again formed in her brown eyes, "I do care! I love Squall! Please, what has happened to him?!"
Laguna refused to back down from the sorceress, "Love him?! How the hell can you claim to love him?! You betrayed him!"
Rinoa stepped closer, her cheeks flushed and her eyes brimming with tears, "Please, Laguna. It was a mistake...I thought he had left me, he was gone for nearly a week. He didn't tell me he was leaving, then one day he was back...just long enough to pack his things and then leave again. Without saying one word to me..."
Laguna chuckled bitterly, "Gone for a week? Rinoa, he was in Winhill for a few days talking to his mother at her grave, then spent the rest of the week at Edea's, trying to gather the courage to ask you to marry him!!" Laguna spat the last few words, unintentionally making the young woman flinch back.
Rinoa felt her heart literally stop in her chest. No...he was going to propose? What have I done?! Her breathing became rigid and harsh. Her knees buckled then she stumbled forward, Laguna quickly reached out and caught her in his arms, instantly regretting the harsh tone that he had taken with her. Rinoa leaned her head against his chest and cried. Laguna sighed and rubbed her back affectionately.
"I'm sorry, Rin. I shouldn't have said those things." he apologized.
She shook her head, ruffling her hair against his chest as she did, "No, Laguna. You're right. I did betray him. Please, Laguna. I need to find him."
Laguna looked at the other people in the office. The sympathetic expressions written on all of their faces, told him what he needed to do.
Carefully, he raised Rinoa back to her feet and lifted her chin to meet her eyes, "He's...here, Rinoa. He's in the Palace."
****
He could hear the hushed whispers in the hall outside his room. Their attempt at secrecy nearly made him laugh.
'They are outside the door, Master.'
Squall chuckled at the obvious attempt of humor by Diablos. "I am aware of that, Diablos. I can imagine Laguna fiddling with the lock as we speak"
'Do you wish to be cloaked now, Master?'
Squall took one last drag on his cigarette and quickly extinguished it in the nearby ashtray. He picked up his gunblade and sheathed it. "Yes, now please, Diablos."
At his command the ancient Guardian Force whispered as the air around Squall began to shimmer and the light that was permeating from the room folded around his body, causing him to fade from sight. The barely smoking cigarette the only evidence that he had once occupied the room.
Laguna finally found the right code word for lock, cringing when he heard Rinoa whimper as she peeked over his shoulder to see that her name was the password.
"Squall..." he began as he entered the room, only to stop himself as he noticed that his son was nowhere in sight. "What the hell?"
Rinoa rushed into the room behind him, frantically searching the large darkened room for her lost love. At the sight of her, Squall nearly lost his breath and with it the concentration to hold the Cloak spell in place.Hyne, she's beautiful. Still looks like an angel. He leaned against the wall near the door as two other figures walked into the room, a wave of anger rushed through his body once his eyes fell onto Zell. Never in his life had he wanted to cause more pain to anyone then he felt like bringing to his old friend Zell Dincht. He forced back those emotions and silently observed them as they went farther into his room.
'They seem rather intent on finding you, Master'
Squall repressed a stint of laughter, he had become very close to Diablos over the past year. The GF had never really taken a liking to any of his other friends, his highest compatibility only being with Squall or Rinoa. Diablos allowed Squall to express himself freely, the only other being besides Rinoa that gave him that freedom. The GF was more then just a common summon to Squall, he had become a friend, someone who understood Squall's pain. Few knew that at one time, Diablos was once mortal, a mighty warrior who had also served as a knight. He was now paying for his past sins, which Diablos refused to reveal, but Squall understood that. Sometimes pain is best kept inside.
'She smells rather delicious tonight...I forgot how good she could smell'
Shut up! Don't be sniffing her, Diablos!
Squall could hear the GF chuckle, 'My apologies, Master. I feel a close kinship with your sorceress. Like you, she is my friend.'
Still! You don't have to sniff her!
Rinoa slowly walked to the desk taking notice of the smoking cigarette butt in the ashtray. She let a nearly silent sigh escape her lips.
"Squall..." only one other person heard her tear choked whisper and it nearly broke him.
"Laguna, we didn't pass him in the hallway..." Kiros stated, "Do you think he's...you know?"
Laguna cocked his head slightly while scratching the back of his neck, "Cloaked? It's possible, little turd is probably watching us right now, laughing his ass off."
Rinoa gave the president a questioning look, "Cloaked?"
Laguna began flapping his arms around the room, trying to 'feel' for his son, "Yeah...Squall has been able to teach Diablos a couple new tricks. One of which is the ability to render Squall invisible. It's kind of neat actually. When he does it, its like...umm...light bends around him, makes him look like a freaking ghost. Almost scary if ya ask me."
Ellone smiled lightly, "He has a habit of sneaking up on me and blowing in my ear or tickling me." she paused as the look on her face became withdrawn, "But he hasn't done that since..." she trailed off.
Kiros placed a firm hand on her shoulder, "It's all right, Elle. Maybe his friends can help him."
Not likely, Kiros.
'Wont know unless you try, Master'
Diablos...be quiet.
Zell sat down on the bed and crossed his legs, "Squall? You in here man? We need to talk to ya bud..." the young man trailed off.
Whatever...bud.
Squall watched with horrified eyes as Rinoa apparently began to walk straight to him. His body froze, his breath stopped as she grew closer to his position. Suddenly she stopped and quickly turned to the pack of cigarettes that laid on the desk. She picked the pack up and pulled one out. With trembling hands she held it to her lips as a small flame extended from her finger, she inhaled nearly choking on the strange sensation that burned her lungs.
Oh, Hyne. What is she doing?
'I believe she is calling you out, Master.'
Well, I'm not falling for it...
'Of course you wont...'
Laguna gave her a confused look, "What are you doing, Rin? You don't smoke."
Dammit!
Rinoa nodded slowly as she continued to inhale, "No, I don't...but Squall does. And if I'm not mistaken-"
Rinoa didn't have the chance to finish her sentence as the cigarette was suddenly ripped from her mouth by an invisible hand. It hovered in front of her face for a moment and Rinoa's eyes grew wide with recognition could make out the invisible form of her lover as the smoke gently rolled over his face, then the cigarette was abruptly thrown across the room where it smacked gently against the wall then unto the floor where Laguna stomped it out.
'Yes, you sure didn't fall for that..."
Shut up, Diablos...or I'll lock you in a small room with Carbuncle...
'Shutting up...'
Zell quickly stood up, "What the hell was that?!"
"Hi, lover..." Rinoa softly spoke with the hint of a smile on her pink lips.
Silence.
"Squall..." she began, "Please, talk to us. To me, I need to talk to you."
Whatever.
Rinoa gasped as she felt a warm gust of air brush past her face, a soft touch lingered ever so lightly on her arm, she sighed softly at the feel of his warm hand then nearly cried as it suddenly pulled away. She spun around feeling the wind from his movement rush past her towards the open door.
"Squall!" she followed after him ignoring the confused glances the others were giving her.
She dashed into the hall, pleading with him to stop. Nothing, no sign that anyone had ever passed through these halls but herself. She stopped near a window and peered out into the night sky and the tears rushed freely down her cheeks as she caught sight of the silhouette of Diablos, as the winged guardian flew towards the horizon, a humanoid form sitting atop his back. Slate gray eyes staring back at hers.
"Squall...I'm not giving up on you, or us. I will find you, my love. I promise..."
