Disclaimer: I do not own WordGirl or Doctor Who (they are owned by PBS and BBC respectively)

Note: This story is designed to be in the format used by 'The Rise Of Miss Power.' Also, this assumes that WordGirl takes place between 'Battlefield' and 'The Wedding of River Song.'

Also, this features Sylvester McCoy's (Seventh) Doctor, and The Brigadier as played by Nicholas Courtney (RIP).


Hidden in the countryside of the United Kingdom, far away from prying eyes, lay a very special building. To the untrained eye, it looked like an old country mansion. But then the camouflaged guards become noticed, and it becomes apparent: This is the temporary secret headquarters for a top-secret division of the army: The United Nations Intelligence Taskforce, or as they liked to refer to themselves, U.N.I.T. A long-standing organization, with a reputation for stopping threats to the entire earth in their tracks. While they were only here because Miss Power tore up their old base, and waiting for a replacement to be installed (there was talk about it being under the Tower of London), there was never a day that U.N.I.T. wasn't ready to fight.

Today, however, they were not fighting; rather, they were being visited. A proud, elderly man pulled up to the building in his car, and raised his little cap. Instantly, all the soldiers came out of hiding, and gave him a salute.

"Please," the man said, "I'm retired. Don't expect any commands from me, I'm just here to advise Mrs. Bambera."

The soldiers didn't bar his way as he entered the building, and hung up his coat near the wall. A dark-skinned woman in a soldier's uniform was waiting for him just around the corner. "I see you got my message, sir."

"Yes I did...say, is that a reference to my knighthood, or..."

"It's whatever you want it to be."

"Thank you, Brigadier Bambera."

Soon, Mrs. Bambera led the man into her office, and they sat down on opposite sides of the desk. "So," the man asked, "How is your time as Brigadier of the England Branch?"

"Terrible, sir. And I'm not just referring to the Terrible Zodin – these days are either quiet, or too much for the men to handle. And as for our scientific advisors...we've gone through five the last year alone!"

The man laughed. "I think you're expecting too much of them: No one can be as good as the Doctor. Still, explains why you came to me for help...with what, exactly?"

Instead of explaining, Mrs. Bambera handed the man a map. He looked over it, saying: "Hmm...Hmm...Interesting indeed...say, why aren't there any of our bases anywhere near this area?"

"The others are dragging their feet because, supposedly, the area's already protected. You ever heard of WordGirl?"

The man raised his eyebrows: "Can't say I have...got a file?"

"That cabinet over there." said Bambera, pointing to a file cabinet in the corner; "Put together by the Doctor himself."

"Good, I could use a thorough report." said the man, as he opened the cabinet and browsed through it's contents: "Weeping Angels, Weevils, Wirrn...Aha! WordGirl!"

He read aloud: "Twelve-year-old girl from Planet Lexicon, possesses super-speed, super-strength, flight, and super-vocabulary...accompanied by monkey sidekick called 'Captain Huggyface'...adopted by human parents under assumed name (omitted for her privacy)... fights supervillains such as Mr. Big, Dr. Two-Brains, The Butcher, and others. Recently fought off alien criminal 'Miss Power,' and banished her from earth...Wait – she's the one who ended the Miss Power incident?"

"From what I've heard, sir." nodded Bambera.

"Well, I must say she sounds like my kind of person already!" the man remarked as he closed the file. "I can see why the other branches aren't doing anything...Question is, why isn't she doing anything about this?" He then pointed back to the map.

"That's what's got me concerned as well." said Brigadier Bambera. "I think she just doesn't know about it yet...and might never find out, until it's too late."

"Can't have that happen."

"No, sir. I have some men and vehicles ready to go there...but we can't spare any commanders, since we're tied up rooting out the Chameleons who've crashed onto earth."

"...So, you don't just want me for advice then."

Bambera nodded, and produced a familiar hat. One with the U.N.I.T. badge sewed onto it. "I won't ask you to do it if you don't want to..."

The man raised his hand, prompting Bambera to stop. "It's fine. Doesn't sound like that much of a problem anyway. I think I can handle it." And then, he took the hat, and put it on his head.

"Good to have you back, Sir Lethbridge-Stewart...or may I call you Brigadier again?"

Sir Alistair Lethbridge-Stewart sighed. "Might as well." And Brigadier Bambera saluted him.


WordGirl and Doctor Who in...

RECIPE FOR DISASTER!

Narrator: Listen for the words: 'Soldier,' 'Siege,' 'Cuisine,' and 'Ingredient.'


Thanksgiving day's coming up! Every single member of the Botsford family, from all over the country, will be dropping by our hero's house to have a fantastic feast!...if only they can get it prepared.

"You said it!" said an exhausted Becky Botsford, lounging in the TV room couch. "We've got so much of our family coming over, that we have to start preparing the ingredients for the food at least a day in advance!"

"BECKY!" Mr. Botsford called from the kitchen: "We're all out of egg whites, anchovies, and toothpaste!"

Becky sighed. "And Beans a la Botsford is on the menu."

Is it a special year?

"No, Dad just loves making that particular cuisine... and I can never figure out why!"

"You don't?" said Mr. Botsford as he poked his head out from behind the wall, a chef's hat on his head and a strand of pasta hanging from his ear. "Well, I'll tell you why I'm doing it this year at least: I've made a special modification to the recipe, and I really want Bampy's approval on it!"

"Really?" Becky asked, confused. "What's the new ingredient?"

"Umm..." Mr. Botsford anxiously looked around every corner, as if there were spies nearby. "If I tell you, do you promise to keep it a secret?"

"Sure, you can count on me!" said Becky.

Trusting his daughter, Mr. Botsford leaned in, and...

….and then the TV suddenly flickered, and a news reporter proclaimed: "This just in: a truck full of soldiers bearing unfamiliar uniforms passed the town, and are headed for the woods. They declined to comment on what they were doing. Citizens are advised to remain calm..."

WordGirl didn't listen to those last words. As soon as a map appeared on the screen, showing where the soldiers were last spotted, she gasped. "Oh no! They wouldn't..."

"They wouldn't what?"

On the spot, WordGirl desperately changed the subject: "Uh eh heh...So, what was it you said about anchovies and toothpaste? Mind if I go over to the grocery store and get some?"

"Oh that would be amazing, honey! And don't forget the egg whites!"

"Got it, Dad! Bob!" she called to the family pet, "We're going out!"

Bob ran out of the kitchen, desperately wiping the ranch dressing off of his fur, and jumped onto WordGirl's back, at which point they left.

Mr. Botsford went back to the kitchen to resume cooking...while Becky, when she was sure no one was looking, shouted: "WOOOORRRD UP!" and soared into the air as WordGirl and Captain Huggyface.

"Huggy, the news reporter said there were soldiers headed towards the woods near the city!" she said, worriedly. Captain Huggyface, as soon as he heard, gasped a monkey-gasp, and steeled his expression.

Um, just what's got you so worried? What kind of people are these soldiers anyway?

"Well, 'soldiers' are people who are trained to fight, and given weapons to do so, as part of an army! They usually fight for a country, and are trained to follow the orders of a commander, like a sergeant or a general! And they're not very friendly if their country, or commander, orders them to fight!"

And what's wrong with these particular soldiers?

"There's nothing significant in those woods, nothing that soldiers would notice...except for one thing: My Super-Secret Spaceship Hideout!"

Oh my!

"If anybody knows where my Hideout is, how long would it be before a supervillain finds it out, and attacks me when my guard is down? I've got to keep them from finding it!"

*(one scene transition later)*

"There it is, Brigadier!" exclaimed one of the soldiers, holding a rather bulky machine with a reciever-dish in his hand, pointing to a massive red-and-yellow flying saucer, embedded in the side of a hill. "The signal's coming from that ship!"

"Well, what are you waiting for, Captain? Crack it open, and let's find out what's causing the signal in the first place!"

"Yes Sir!" exclaimed the Sergeant, who then waved to the rest of the soldiers (there were fourteen in total).

The soldiers (followed shortly afterward by the 'Brigadier') then rushed down the muddy tracks the crash carved into the ground, and stopped at the base of the ship...where they threw ropes up, and hooked them onto the wings! They then climbed up, and scaled the roof of the ship until they got to the top! "Get me a crowbar, Carl! Looks like an entry hatch!" called the first soldier to reach the very top...and as soon as he stepped on a star-shaped decoration, he shouted: "Never mind!" as the hatch opened itself up. With another grappling hook secured to the edge, they all slid down inside.

Inside, the soldiers expected to see lots of ugly-looking aliens shuffling to and fro, who would become angry the instant they saw the new arrivals...but instead, they saw themselves in the middle of an indoor playground! There were slides, a dome climber, a toy horsey, and a trampoline! And all of them had a theme of either red stars in yellow shields, or blue-and-yellow lightning-bolts!

"Strange," the Brigadier remarked. "this seems very much unlike an enemy alien ship, and more like a child's funhouse! Who would use a ship like this..."

Just then, a loud burst of air signaled an arrival from the hatch in the ceiling! Before the soldiers could ready their weapons, a childlike, female voice proclaimed: "Wait! Before things get all messy, I'd just like to say-"

She didn't get a chance to say anything: the Brigadier recognized her: "WordGirl? Is that you?"

Caught off guard, she said: "Umm...yeah! Have we met before?"

The Brigadier laughed, then said: "I've read all about you. Tell me...is this your spaceship?"

When WordGirl nodded, the Brigadier turned to his men, and said: "At ease, men; WordGirl's a friend."

He then turned back to her, and offered a handshake. "Sorry about almost putting your spacecraft under siege. I am Sir Alistair Lethbridge-Stewart, but you can call me 'Brigadier,' or 'Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart;' that is my rank, after all. I'm the leader of this bunch of troops from U.N.I.T., or United Nations Intelligence Taskforce."

A pleasure to make your acquaintance, Brigadier!...oh, and by the way, I'm the narrator.

The Brigadier was shocked to hear the disembodied voice...and finally said: "Well, it must be one of those days...anyway, I take it there's no hard feelings between us, WordGirl?"

"Never were in the first place! I would, however, appreciate it if you promised to never tell anyone where you found this, and then...maybe you could tell me why you sought it out in the first place!"

"You're secret's safe with me, WordGirl! And as for the reason we came...why is the monkey saluting me?"

WordGirl finally noticed that Captain Huggyface was holding his hand up in salute towards the Brigadier. WordGirl asked him, and translated his screeches: "He says 'what, aren't captains supposed to salute brigadiers?'"

"Good point...well, at ease, then."

Captain Huggyface put his arm down. "That was rather strange..." the Brigadier commented... "Anyway, shall I explain why we're here, WordGirl?"

"Please, do tell!"

So, WordGirl floated down the hallway, following the Brigadier, as he talked: "We actually weren't looking for your ship specifically. It just happened to be where Captain Flanders (he pointed to the man with the bulky equipment) found a particularly strong energy signal to be coming from! My friends at U.N.I.T. believed that signal to mean something dangerous, meaning we sort of had to come over and investigate!"

"And," said Captain Flanders, "I'm still picking it up!"

"Well, feel free to find out what it is, at any rate! Not like I'll stand in your way or anything!"

So, they carefully searched through the ship...emphasis on carefully...

A soldier, shocked by the sudden voice of the narrator, accidentally bumped into one of Wordgirl's pony collections...but with the help of his friends, they were able to prevent any of the fragile dolls from being broken.

...and they eventually found what they were looking for...in WordGirl's personal library!

Captain Flanders waved his detector-dish all over the shelves, the machine on his back giving out many big beeping noises...until it stopped at a solid 'beeeeeeeep!' "Brigadier! I think I've found it!" he shouted. He then turned off the machine, set it down, and reached into the shelves...pulling out a large metal block, covered in dust and strange symbols!

"What is it, Captain?" the Brigadier asked...and Captain Huggyface answered in a series of screeches.

"The other captain, please?" the Brigadier asked again, leading to a frown on Captain Huggyface's face...and a response of "The monkey probably knows more than I do, sir." from Captain Flanders.

"It's OK, I can translate:" WordGirl began: "Huggy said that it's a rather strange book, that neither of us have been able to actually open. We never suspected anything was really wrong with it, it was just an odd book."

"So everyone's in the dark then?"

"Not exactly, Brigadier: I know what the title says, thanks to Huggy teaching me some alien languages (I'm not called 'WordGirl' for nothing, you know): it's called 'The Cuisine Collective of Planet Tersurus,' suggesting it's some sort of cookbook. But, if we can't open it, it's pretty much useless."

"Huh." the Brigadier mused to himself; "An unopened, alien cookbook that's giving off energy...the more I look into it, the more this is starting to sound like the Doctor's sort of business! Come to think of it, he did mention visiting planet 'Tersurus' once in a while in that box of his..."

"Wait a sec; you know the Doctor?" WordGirl asked, surprised.

As in, the 900-year-old alien Time Lord with a dozen different faces, and a time machine that's bigger on the inside?

"The very same." said the Brigadier. "He has a long history with me and U.N.I.T., given that he used to be our scientific advisor. In fact, he was the one who gave U.N.I.T. the file describing you, WordGirl! The one that told us how you and he dealt with Cybermen, Ice Warriors, Daleks, and all sorts of other nasty customers!"

"Well..." WordGirl said; "Technically the Ice Warriors weren't all that bad but...yeah, I see where you're coming from."

"Yes. Well, I've got to get this 'cookbook' somewhere hidden, where we can wait for transportation back to the headquarters of nearest U.N.I.T. branch. There, we can have our scientists try and find out what's up with it, and see whether or not it's dangerous to humanity."

WordGirl nodded, and the Brigadier said: "Soldiers, it's time to move out. Thank you very much, WordGirl."

"No problem!" WordGirl said, as she shook the Brigadier's hand.

Soon, all the soldiers were climbing out of the top on their ropes, or using the secret bookcase-exit (per Captain Huggyface's suggestion), and on their way to the city...

...when WordGirl suddenly slapped herself in the face. "Ugh! Why didn't I think of it until now?"

Think of what?

"If the Doctor could help them, I should have asked if they needed his help!"

Captain Huggyface screeched, and WordGirl responded with: "Oh well, Huggy...Then again, there's no harm in asking him to come over now, is there?"

Huggy shook his head: He had respect for the Doctor, and wouldn't expect him to do anything bad.

Thus approved, WordGirl next went to the communicator, to call up the Doctor...

"WordGirl calling the Doctor. Do you read me, Doctor? This is WordGirl!" she spoke into the microphone.

At first, just static appeared on the screen...but then, suddenly, it swirled out, revealing a smallish man! He was wearing a sweater adorned with question marks, with a brown jacket over it, and a little scarf under the lapels. He wore a distinctive white hat, and was swinging a black umbrella (with a question-mark shaped handle) in his left hand. And he was looking at the two crime-fighters, and smiling. "How do you do, WordGirl?" he said, lifting his hat; "Glad to see you've finally made use of that device I gave you."

"Hi, Doctor!...but we already used this once before-"

The Doctor raised his hand, silencing her. "Don't spoil the surprise. It's all timey-wimey to me; I haven't seen you since that outing with Victoria Best and the Master, which was our second meeting from your point of view! Regardless, to what do I owe the pleasure of this call?"

"Well-"

Before WordGirl could say what she had to say, a familiar alarm went off...louder than usual.

"Oh dear, is that your crime detector?" said the Doctor as he shoved his fingers in his ears, "I don't remember it being so loud!"

WordGirl turned off the alarm, then checked the screen: "There's more than one crime going on at once! Sorry Doctor, but I'll just have to call you back another time!"

"Don't forget it!" the Doctor called affectionately, as he switched off his communicator.

….

Now what, Doc?

"Well, I may be waiting for a little while...say, I haven't had a good souffle in a while, why not I check to see if I still have all the ingredients?"

So, the Doctor wandered off into the TARDIS corridors, mumbling about eggs, milk, sugar, and such.

*(one scene transition later)*

"HAMBURGER HAMMER!" shouted the Butcher, as hamburgers on sticks shot out of his hands and pelted the armored car. After a few seconds, the car had turned over! (Luckily, no one was hurt, and the driver crawled out, although he was slightly dizzy.)

"Alright then! Now to crack open these doors, and steal the juicy concates!" The Butcher said as he rubbed his hands together in anticipation...

...when WordGirl suddenly appeared between him and the car, saying: "Don't you mean contents? Well, whether or not you do, you won't get them today!"

"WordGirl! You won't stand between me and the most perfectly-glazed beefsteak of Beefstonia! I came for that beautiful crizeen, and I'm gonna – wait, where'd she go?" said the Butcher in confusion as WordGirl suddenly disappeared, leaving Captain Huggyface between him and the armored car!

Just then, WordGirl's voice came through Huggy's belt-communicator: "Sorry, but apparently Chuck the Evil Sandwich-Making Guy's laying siege to the town bread factory, so I've gotta go! Captain Huggyface can handle you, can he?"

Captain Huggyface screeched 'yes', and then both chimp and criminal got ready to fight...

"Oh, and by the way, it's 'cuisine,' not 'crizeen.'"

*(One scene transition later)*

"Bwa-ha-ha! This'll teach you to stop making my favorite white bread!" said Chuck as he sat in the seat of his Sandwich Crusher, as he edged it right over the factory, screaming workers running from the building desperately...

...as WordGirl appeared, and said: "Chuck! I won't let you destroy this factory...speaking of which, why destroy one of the most important ingredients in sandwiches?"

"Oh don't worry...there's more than one bread factory that sell to Fair City...and they still make my favorite kinds of bread! This one doesn't, and therefore won't be missed!"

"Except that I won't let you!"

And with that, WordGirl flew right under the crusher, and with all of her super-strength, pushed up against the crusher plate! Chuck, in return, moved the controls around a little so the machine began pushing down onto WordGirl!

It was a battle of alien super-powered girl vs. machine, and no one appeared to be the immediate victor...

….especially to one particular onlooker, Doctor Two-Brains, who stood on the sidelines with a raygun in his hand!

"Hee hee hee! That's right, WordGirl, keep yourself busy...while I ready my weight-ray, and aim it at you! Soon, you'll be so heavy that you, with all your super strength, won't even be able to lift yourself! Leaving no one to stop me from taking over next week's cheese festival! AHAHAHAHAHA!"

Is this the end of WordGirl? Has she finally bit off more than she can chew?

Vroooshh...

What will the Brigadier and his soldiers find when they look at the alien cookbook?

Vrooooosshhh...

And will the Botsfords get ready for thanksgiving?

Vvvrrrrooooosshhh...

For all these answers and more, tune in for the continuation of this amazing colossal adventure of WORDGIRL!

CLUNK!


TO BE CONTINUED (in parts 2, 3, and 4!)

Whew! College does a number on your free time! Oh well at least I can write!

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