A/N: I needed a break from Saving Me, my chapter fic. I'm carrying around a muse for Mrs. Tonks, and not the one married to Remus Lupin. So this is what you get, a 4 and a half page one-shot. A very nervous Remus is acting all of 16 during a much-needed talk with Andromeda. And a thank you to Denise (user LightHope) for coming up with the title for me, very spur of the moment and off the top of her head. Love yoooou!!
It was with great hesitation that he showed up at her door that day. He really should have sent some warning that he was coming. But he was afraid that if he gave himself that much time, that he'd chicken out. And the thought horrified him. He needed to do this. Needed to get the words out; to get on with his life.
The house was modest enough, tucked well into the heart of a Muggle town. He'd had to Apparate a couple of miles away, but he admittedly needed the walk. It was good for clearing his thoughts and preparing himself for what he needed to say. The weather was gorgeous, anyway, one of England's better days. The morning had dawned clear and blue and the temperature was averaging a comfortable fifty degrees. He hadn't even needed a coat over his thin, worn brown jumper. Tucking his hands into his pockets, he arrived at the front door that he'd only seen two other times in his life.
They'd not been good times, unfortunately. He apparently didn't have it in him to show up with a completely clear conscious. It wasn't easy, always arriving with bad news. Once saying that her cousin had been killed and her daughter injured, the next asking her to join them in a war that wouldn't necessarily have a positive outcome.
But all of that was behind them now. The monster they'd been fighting was gone, beaten by the eighteen year-old he'd tried to kill a number of times. His followers were still being rounded up, and innocent people still occasionally went missing or died, but things had calmed considerably. It still amazed him that he was even alive through it all, let alone that he should be so incredibly in love. But the fact remained that she was all he needed or wanted, and that was what brought him to her mother's front door.
Remus couldn't deny the fact that his hand was shaking as he slowly rapped on the door. That he didn't know how to control, but he could deal with the heavy breathing and the violent nausea in his stomach. This wouldn't have a negative outcome. He had no reason to be nervous. And as many times as he told himself that, he still had a difficult time believing it.
When she opened the door, he flashed his brightest smile, knowing even that probably looked shaky. Her smile, on the other hand, was bright and genuine. "Remus!" she declared brightly. "How are you, what are you doing here, come on in." Much like her daughter, she had a tendency to ramble, and he couldn't help but grin a little more easily.
"Thank you, Andromeda," he told her, giving a small nod as he stepped into the offered hallway. The house, much like its owner, was light, airy, and open. He caught a breath of fresh air and realised the windows were open. "Enjoying your day?" he asked casually, noticing the telly was on and blaring some game show. It was one she watched often, and one he recognised as her one truly Muggle vice.
She guided him into the sitting room, turning the television down as she gestured for him to take a seat. "Please, sit, what brings you by today?"
For someone who he'd only ever delivered bad news to, she seemed happy to see him. "I...is this a bad time?" he quickly stammered.
Andromeda grinned widely, shaking her head. "No, no, love, of course it's not."
"I should've owled first, made sure you were home, this is silly of me, I can just go."
"Hold it," Andromeda stated firmly as Remus got to his feet. Stopping suddenly, he quickly plopped back into the seat in front of her. "Now. What is it you wanted to talk to me about?"
Remus dropped his eyes to the hands folded tightly in his lap. "Dora," he mumbled, sneaking a peek up at the pretty woman in front of him. She was the Black sister who didn't quite fit the mold. Bellatrix's dark black hair and large brown eyes and Narcissa's silvery blonde hair and pale blue eyes were complete opposites. Andromeda fell right in the middle, her hair a honey brown and her eyes a vibrant green. She often reminded Remus of Lily, and the thought made him smile.
A slow smile crossed the older woman's face. It was almost mischievous in nature, one Remus recognized as having a hint of Sirius in it. "Oh?"
Nodding, he brought his face up to meet her eyes more directly. "Yeah, actually. Unless...well, you know, unless you don't want to be brought into it."
"You're not having a row again, are you?" Andromeda asked suspicously.
Remus laughed, though the sound was a little dry even to his own ears. "No, no, of course not. Not that, not by any means. Things couldn't be better."
Looking skeptical, Andromeda leaned back in the large easy chair, folding her arms across her stomach. "Well?" She lifted her eyebrows, looking at him expectantly.
The breath he released was long and slow. He glanced down at his hands again, then back up at her. "I want to ask her to marry me."
Instead of shocked, angry, confused, or a combination of them all, the look on Andromeda Tonks' face was a slow, easy smile. "Really?" she asked, her face relaxing considerably.
Remus was admittedly surprised. Why wasn't she annoyed with him? "Yes," he spoke hesitantly. "I mean, it's been three years. Neither of us is getting any younger...least of all me." His smile was crooked, characteristic of a man who had just made a joke but knew it was a poor one.
"Remus..." Her tone was gentle, and yet amused. The older witch shook her head, her brown curls bouncing. "So what seems to be the problem then? What sends you to me looking like a school boy who's just received a scolding?"
His cheeks flushed, but he laughed a little. "Well, I suppose I wanted to get your permission. It only seemed right." Customarily he would've gone to Tonks' father. But Ted had passed only the year before. All that left was her mother, and though she was one of the more defiant of the Blacks, she was still a Black.
However, to his surprise, Andromeda burst out laughing. "Why on earth would you request my permission? She'll be thrilled, and I personally say it's about time you got your act together and did the asking."
Biting his lip anxiously, he looked at her curiously. "But..knowing what I am?"
Andromeda stood, walking towards the window. The sheer white curtains had been pulled back, letting in warm sunshine and a steamy summer's breeze. Crossing her arms, she leaned against the wall, looking out at the neighborhood in front of her. He was afraid he'd offended her, but the expression on her face was wistful, not angry.
"Remus, what am I to say to that? Do I worry? A little, yes. About both of you. Not because I fear you'll hurt her. I fear what this world's going to put the two of you through."
He considered going to her, to stand by her side, but she seemed lost in some semi-private moment. Instead, he simply watched her. "What kind of woman would want her daughter marrying a man like me?"
The smile that crossed her face was bittersweet, and he felt like an intruder. Finally, she turned to him, her smile softer. "The kind who was willingly disowned by her family in order to be with the man she loved."
It was a story he'd heard many times. Sirius had told him, when they were at school, how Andromeda had thrown her entire family aside after she'd fallen in love with a Muggleborn wizard. Ted had been her light and her life, and together they'd created Nymphadora. It just made sense to him suddenly. "Do you ever regret it?" he questioned. He knew the inquiry was slightly nosy. But he needed it. It needed to be said. Mostly, he needed to know if his girlfriend-hopefully someday his wife-would one day wish she hadn't put her heart into him.
"Do I?" she questioned, returning to the seat in front of him. "No, not really. I mean, I wish circumstances were different. I wish they could accept Ted for who he is as a person and not who his parents were. But if I went back in time, would I still say yes the day he asked me to marry him?" She smiled widely, as if making her answer non-verbally obvious.
"I love her," Remus blurted, swallowing hard as his cheeks reddened.
Andromeda looked him over, her smile still firmly in place. "I know you do. I see it every time I see you with her. And she feels the same way, Remus. She doesn't care about the other aspects. You're what she wants."
He still looked somewhat anxious, despite the reassuring expression she wore. "She deserves more. A man who can take care of her, not the other way around. I can't guarantee I can do that."
Reaching forward, she lightly rested a hand on his knee. "Listen," she said softly. "I wouldn't steer you wrong on this. Ted left Dora enough that the two of you won't have to worry about expenses. As for physically? You'll both have tough times. She enjoys helping you, you know that."
"She shouldn't have to," he whispered, his eyes focused on her hand. Hers were so similar to her daughter's. Long, thin fingers, smooth skin, curved nails, and a tiny freckle underneath the knuckle of her thumb. "She deserves more," he repeated softly, his eyes closed.
Suppressing a sigh, Andromeda gave him a tiny smile. "Remus, you know if you break my little girl's heart I'm going to hex you into next week, don't you?"
Despite himself, Remus grinned slightly. "I know. Believe me, I don't intend to."
"Then what's the problem?"
She made it sound so simple. "What if I do? Not intentionally, but it could happen. What then?"
Andromeda's lips turned up in a hint of a smile. "What then, darling? What then? That's up to you. And to her. You've got to understand, she's an independent woman. She won't let you bully her."
"Or bite her?" he asked sarcastically. Her features flickered darkly for a moment, but then she composed them into a neutral expression. "When's the last time you bit anyone?"
Sighing, he leaned back in his seat, his arms crossed at his chest like a pouting child. "Well, all right, never. But it could happen!"
"And how long ago were you attacked?"
He swallowed hard. "Thirty years."
A self-satisfied smile appeared on her lightly lined face. She looked his age, or younger even, if you compared them, as Remus looked older than he truly was. "Thirty years and never a bite reported. Quite remarkable for a cold-hearted killer, don't you think?"
Still unconvinced, Remus sighed again. "Look, I know I would never intentionally do it--"
"And since you've never done it accidentally, I'm not particularly worried." Andromeda smiled benignly. "She can take care of herself, you know, though I'm sure she loves you all the more for trying to."
The thought brought a smile to his face. Despite his condition, he did take extra care to watch over Tonks. He knew from time to time she resented it, especially when he pushed her away from something-including him. But in the end, she usually acknowleged that it was only him trying to protect her. "I think it actually grates on her nerves," he commented with a nervous laugh.
Andromeda's laugh was less constrained. "Oh, I'm sure it does. Doesn't mean she loves you any less."
Twisting his hands together, he looked up at her, his eyes wide and somewhat fearful. "I don't want to hurt her. Ever."
"And you think she's not hurting now?"
It was the same question Tonks herself had asked him when he'd pushed her away over and over.
'I don't want to hurt you.' 'You think you're not hurting me now? That this doesn't hurt?'
Andromeda's expression was gentle, reassuring. "I can't promise she'll wait forever, Remus." He opened his mouth to protest, but she held up a hand to signal she hadn't finished. "But she'll damn sure try."
"The ring's not much," he admitted.
"You're talking about the young woman who wears her hair in wretched colours and those terribly tacky robes." Andromeda's nose wrinkled in distaste, and she truly looked like the mother of an unruly teenager, not that of a woman about to-or so Remus hoped-become engaged.
Remus reached into his pocket, lightly running a finger over the small diamond. It wasn't new by any means. It had been his mother's, passed on from at least two Lupin men before his father. It was, in its own way, a symbol of marriages that lasted. Of true love. Maybe it was more than just a simple, plain diamond. "You really think she'll say yes?" he asked, his eyes holding the look of a worried young boy, despite the lines around them.
With a smirk that he would've sworn was Sirius', Andromeda stood and nodded. "I'd say it's a fair bet. Would you like some tea before you go? Strike it Lucky is on, I know you like that one."
Laughing, Remus nodded and leaned back in his seat, watching Michael Barrymore interrogate the next contestant. He could do this. He had to. They deserved it.
