Advisory: This story will include some sexual content. It is implied that the characters are aged up.

"Dude, you need to come down to Raisins right away."

"Clyde, you know I'm spending the day with Tweek and besides…I'm gay. Why the hell would I want to hang out with you at Raisins?"

"It's not that, Craig. Just…get down here as soon as you can. It's really important."

Craig sighed and hung up the phone before turning to Tweek.

"Sorry, babe. That was Clyde, he says he needs me to help him with something. It sounds like he's in trouble with the Raisins girls again. Did you wanna come along?"

"Oh God! You know I hate confrontation! That is way too much pressure!"

Craig grinned and leaned in to give his boyfriend a light kiss on the forehead. He couldn't help but find it cute when Tweek acted so jittery. At least he had the wherewithal to always be the levelheaded one in the relationship.

"I'll be back as soon as I can," he said, giving Tweek another quick kiss on the forehead. "Promise."

Tweek nodded nervously as Craig stood up and walked out of the room.

"Just please be careful," he called out as his boyfriend disappeared into the hallway.

"I think I can handle a couple of cheap whores, Tweek," he replied, chuckling. 'Don't you worry about a thing."


"Oh, Craig. Thank God!" Clyde cried as he approached.

"What's the problem, Clyde? Did the sweet seductresses swindle you out of all your money again?"

"Well…sorta. Except it's my dad's credit card this time."

Craig raised his hand to his face and shook his head. "So what exactly do you expect me to do about it?"

"They don't want to give it back, but they'll listen to you. Those girls are crazy over all that art of you and Tweek. You're like a celebrity to them."

Craig sighed, but not wanting to waste any more of his time with this nonsense, marched through the doors where he was greeted by a gang of scantily clad young ladies.

"Oh my god, girls, look! It's Craig!"

The group of girls instantly descended on him. Some rubbed his arms while others asked him to sign their yaoi artwork.

"Look…I'm just here for my friend. Apparently you took his dad's credit card so can you please just give it back."

"No way! Clyde said we could borrow it to buy anything we wanted. Besides, that little bastard owes us."

Clyde slowly walked through the doors and joined Craig's side.

"There he is! Did you forget to tell him what you told us, Clyde?"

Craig looked at him from the corner of his eye.

"I may have spoken a bit rashly. Haven't I already bought you girls enough? It was hard enough to convince my dad to get you all those discounted shoes."

"A promise is a promise, Clyde. You know how it is."

Rolling his eyes, Craig interjected. "Listen, if I sign all those…pictures, will you please just give him the card back? I'll even draw a little heart to dot the 'i' in my name."

The girls exchanged a collective look and smiled.

"Oh, how can we say no to our favourite little homosexual. But Clyde better not make any more false promises."

"Deal," he said before Clyde could open his mouth again.

The girls eagerly lined up with their artwork ready for Craig to sign. Clyde shamefully walked out of the establishment as Craig fulfilled his end of the bargain. After a few minutes, the two joined each other outside.

"Here, dude. You owe me," Craig said, handing over the card. "Seriously, you need to stay away from those girls. You obviously can't control yourself."

"Thanks dude," he sighed. "And I know, but for now I just gotta get home before my dad busts my ass."

Craig watched as he ran off. Taking a deep breath, he started making his way back to Tweek's. He always hated leaving him alone. At least when he was there, he could monitor his coffee intake and help keep him calm. Whenever left alone, and especially when he was worried about Craig, no matter how unreasonable those worries were, he would binge drink coffee, and the caffeine only made his anxiety worse. Craig picked up the pace and rejoined Tweek in his room, where the two continued their lazy Saturday of playing video games, watching tv, and cuddling.


Clyde silently snuck into his father's room where he had originally found the credit card on top of his dresser. Since his wife's untimely death, he hadn't been functioning all that well, so Clyde knew he didn't have to worry about him paying much attention to the credit card statement when it came at the end of the month. As long as he could replace the credit card without being caught, he would be home free.

However, after he set the card back on the dresser and turned around, his sigh of relief quickly turned to a gasp. He was confronted by his father standing in the doorway and, judging by the look on his face, he knew exactly what was going on.

"Clyde, what the hell are you doing?"

"I…I just…was…looking for you…"

"Bullshit!" his father yelled, raising his hand up in anger. "You took my credit card to go buy those girls shoes or something again! Do you have any idea how hard it's been since your mother died? How hard it is for me and how hard I have to work? Go to your room and get over your bed! I'm gonna make sure you learn to never do this again!"

Not wanting to antagonize his father further, he briskly walked past him and out the door, noticing him taking off his belt as he did so. He got to his room and laid over his bed, preparing himself for what he knew was about to happen.


Clyde lay on his stomach, crying into his pillow. He got into all this trouble just to try to get girls to like him, but yet he never seemed to get anywhere. Deep down, he knew they only tolerated him as long as he could buy them stuff. In fact, every heterosexual relationship he observed tended to be like that. Craig and Tweek seemed to be the only two who had genuine, unconditional love for each other.

He spent this time in his room pondering the possibility of switching sides. As much as he tried to suppress it, he couldn't deny the attraction he had for boys as well as girls. He never allowed himself to embrace these feelings because he didn't know how his family and friends would react to it. But if Craig and Tweek's relationship was anything to go off of, he probably had no legitimate reason to be all that worried about it. For a small town, South Park had kept up with society and was fairly progressive. All of these thoughts swirling around in his head started to become a bit overwhelming, but at least they helped keep his mind off of the pain.


Craig sat in front of the tv while Tweek rested his head on his chest. He had no idea what they were watching, as his attention was dedicated to twirling the boy's hair with his fingers and admiring how cute he was when he acted cuddly like this. He was quickly pulled from his trance, however, when he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket.

"Yeah?"

"Craig…I need to talk to you."

"Clyde, I'm with Tweek, can we not do this right now?"

"Craig…please."

The sadness in his voice filled Craig with guilt. Although Clyde was prone to being emotional, this sounded different.

"I'm sorry dude. Of course. What's going on?"

"My dad caught me putting the card back and… I'm just sick of being hurt like this."

"I mean…you did take his credit card without asking. Wouldn't you be mad if someone did that?"

"This is different. Ever since my mom died, he's been like this. He never would have done this to me before."

"I'm sorry, dude… You don't deserve to be treated like that."

"I'm done with girls, Craig. I'm officially swearing them off. They cause me nothing but trouble. And that's…partly what I wanted to talk to you about."

"Clyde, you can't just choose your sexuality. You just need some better self-control, that's all.

"I'm not choosing anything, dude. I…I mean I kinda like both… Is that weird?"

Craig remained silent for a moment. "No…no, it's not weird. Plenty of people are like that. But why didn't you tell anyone sooner? You could've told me or Tweek. You know we wouldn't judge you or anything."

"Yeah, I know," Clyde replied slowly. "But…it's still hard to come out, you know? I mean…you can understand that, can't you?"

Craig nodded, despite Clyde not being able to see him. "I get that, dude. But…I'm proud of you for telling me now."

"Thanks, Craig," he said, his mood being lifted ever so slightly. Telling someone made it feel like a huge weight was lifted from his shoulders, even if it was only one person. "That kinda brings me to the next thing… I don't really have much experience with guys. I know you and Tweek are in a relationship and everything, but have you ever thought about…experimenting?"

Craig snorted and nearly burst out laughing, unable to control himself. Quickly calming himself down, he returned his attention to the call.

"I'm sorry, dude…that's just…well, never mind."

"I'm serious though. What do you think of that?"

"I mean…honestly, I'd be open to it, and I like you Clyde, but you know how Tweek is. He's not exactly comfortable with major things like that. And I couldn't do anything like that with you by myself, I wouldn't feel right doing that to him.

"I get that, dude. I'm sorry for asking…"

"No, Clyde, it's fine. Honestly I think it's cool that you're comfortable enough to even talk to me about this stuff. But like…you could see if Kenny or Stan would be open to it."

"Kenny and Stan? They're not…," his voice trailed off. "Are they?"

"Well they're definitely not public about it, but…well, let's just say I know a bit more about them than most people."

Clyde sighed. "Alright, dude. And…thanks. Seriously Craig, thank you for being here for me."

"Of course, Clyde. Maybe we can hang out or something tomorrow, help you feel better."

"Ok, dude. I'll see ya later."

Hanging up and returning the phone to his pocket, he gave Tweek a quick kiss on the forehead.

"What was that about, Craig?" he asked, nearly falling asleep.

"Nothing, babe," he replied, pulling him closer to his body. "Just try to get some sleep now."