A/N This was originally going to be the ending chapter for a longer story involving the Mensaverse (McKay and Mrs. Miller) but I never got around to writing it. Then I realized I still had this little piece of humor sitting around my laptop so I hope you enjoy it! It's set post season 5 and takes a bit of brain work to figure out who's who but we're all smart people... right? :D
"I'm sorry about this whole problem," Dr. Elizabeth Weir apologized once again.
Mr. Woolsey smiled. "There was nothing you could've done to change things Dr. Weir."
"And I am certain that the information exchanged will benefit both our universes," Teyla Emmagan added, receiving a nod of agreement from her counterpart who sat to her right.
"I guess there is nothing left to do but part ways," Dr. Rodney McKay said, eager to get back to his own reality.
"Wait," Col. Marshall Sumner stalled, pointing a finger at Lt. Col. John Sheppard and addressing Elizabeth. "Can we keep him?"
"What! I – " Col. Sheppard started but was cut off as Ronon Dex rolled his chair over and clamped an iron arm around his chest to hold him to the chair and one hand over his mouth for silence.
"Please?" Ronon asked his leader hopefully.
Their were raised brows from Col. Sheppard's team, Woolsey, and Elizabeth.
"Wait just a minute, I have wor – " Dr. John Sheppard began but he, too, was cut off in much a similar fashion except by Maj. Dr. Rod McKay.
Sumner nodded to Colonel Sheppard. "He can shoot."
"And he likes people," Rod continued. "He's smart too."
"He can spar," Ronon contributed.
"And you guys." Rod indicated the team and leader from the alternate reality with a nod. "Will love this guy. He's a genius, he has some great lungs on him, and can be quite intimidating to aliens when he wants to."
Both Sheppards squirmed against the people holding them in a vain attempt to wriggle free.
Elizabeth smiled, tuning a carefully hopeful look towards Woolsey and his McKay, Ronon, and Teyla. "You know, that's not a half bad idea. Do you think you might need a technological prodigy in your reality?"
"No thank you, our reality already has a genius, we're good," Rodney hurried, eyeing Dr. Sheppard distastefully.
"But are you sure you don't need another one? We have plenty of geniuses here, you guys sound like you need another one," Rod prodded. "I mean we need more militarily smart people."
Teyla smiled, sharing a look with Teyla. "I believe it would be best if we kept Dr. Sheppard, Rodney."
"Nononono, we're being very gracious. These good people need a genius," Rod demurred cheerfully.
"Did you not hear me just say we already have a genius!" Rodney exclaimed.
"Pretty please," Rod pleaded, turning toward Elizabeth and Woolsey, who smiled at the 'negotiation.'
"Now now, we are civilized, we don't trade people," Elizabeth said, somewhat regrettably.
"Can we abduct him?" Sumner asked hopefully.
"And accidentally shove John into the 'Gate when they leave?" Rod suggested.
The Teylas simply smiled at the argument with motherly expressions.
Rod stared hopefully at the expedition leaders while Rodney glared at him.
Ronon stared at Ronon with a look that said, "I have a cool Sheppard and you don't." Ronon stared back with, "I really want a cool Sheppard." Sumner eyed Colonel Sheppard with the same expression.
"I'm afraid not," Woolsey denied.
Sumner, Ronon, and Rod looked positively disappointed. Rod suddenly brightened. "We have two days before we absolutely have to send them back."
Rod and Ronon released their captives, but before they could do anything, Sumner and Ronon grabbed Col. Sheppard's arms, hauled him up, and pulled him through the door to follow Rod.
"Thanks guys, I'm really feeling the love!" Dr. Sheppard called after them.
He received no answer.
Ronon promptly stood and chased after them with a, "Wait up!"
Teyla stood and followed after her Ronon and Sheppard saying, "I will make certain that they do not injure themselves unnecessarily."
Rodney found himself trying to decide whether to glare at Dr. Sheppard or talk. He went for the latter.
"You said you were working on recharging ZedPMs," Rodney inquired hesitantly.
Sheppard brightened. "Yeah, I'll show what I have," he offered.
They both stood and left, falling into a deep conversation.
The remaining Teyla stood also. "I will make certain they eat."
A minute after the room was emptied Elizabeth slowly leaned in Woolsey's direction, still watching the door. "Are you sure you don't – "
"We're just fine with our Sheppard, thank you."
THE END
